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So (and I may be hiding behind a pseudonym here - IT nerds please don't go hunting) the big plan is to pop the question when on holiday this summer. I've got it all worked out so that nothing can possibly go wrong 🙄 The ring however is a bit of a sticking point. I've got a fair idea what she'd like, but I also know that she'd really like to get a ring that she got off her grandmother remodelled.
So I see my options as:
1. Man up and just go buy something and pray to anyone/thing that she likes it.
2. Buy something that fits the moment for a bit of fun (like the one below perhaps?) and then go pick a ring together
3. As above but go for the remodel approach
4. As per 2 & 3 but get something that looks like a big shiny diamond, but isn't
5. Avoid asking the question altogether and assume the life of a hermit
Any advice, anecdotes and general p*ss taking is much appreciated!
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I have a feeling you might be better placed to answer this than us lot of reprobates 🙂
Get something cheap for the actual asking and let her decide. Even a bit of rope would do for the asking bit.
5.99 ring from argos, if all goes well and she asks how much was it (trust me, mrsconsequence is wearing a 5.99 ring from argos as i type and all her friends go all gooey and dont realise until she tells them its not real) explain it was a fiver and that you wanted to get her grandmothers ring remodelled as you know that's what she's always wanted (bonus points for listening AND her having something to wear whilst waiting)
where do you get those bike rings?!?!?! 😀
2. Buy something that fits the moment for a bit of fun (like the one below perhaps?)
That's what I did, unfortunately I sized it up by using my pinkie which is much much larger than wifeys ring finger 😳 cost me $15CAD
It worked out brilliantly; she got to choose a ring (which she has to wear for the rest of her life) AND got a nice keepsake of the day (another ring) which she still cherishes.
6. Get something nice but not too flash that will sit alongside her grandmothers ring or another ring that you pick.
If it's what you give her when you ask her it will have special significance so is likely to hang around for a while. Treat it like buying bike parts, never buy too cheap because you will always end up using them in the end
edit:
wrecker just proved that point 🙂which she still cherishes.
The ring won't matter, (Love philly's story) go choose one after she's sid yes together.
DO NOT BE CHEESY when you ask her....
If you really know your lady friend well I'd have thought by now you'd have a fair idea which of those suggestions is a best fit and which may result in a kick to the knackers.
FWIW we picked the ring together before i'd even popped the question.
You do not need a ring to propose. You need to ask a suitable question in a suitable place and remind her she wants the existing ring, hence why you didn't get one. Don't over-think it as you'll just get it wrong!
Yeah tricky one, i had a similar issue, checked out a lot of forums where the general girl opinion was that proposing with a pretend/ temporary ring was a bad idea, so went for the proposal without a ring.
I instead proposed with a confirmed appointment at her favourite jewellers, the next day, to show it had been thought out (a bit). this went down well (i think) but it seems to depend on the individual being proposed!
best thing emsz is when you buy a £5.99 ring from argos you can buy a protection plan that includes replacing it if lost and resizing, for only 99p!!!
I would avoid option 1.
I didn't actually have anything to give my wife at the moment of asking. Worried I'd get the sizing wrong etc, etc.
i did option 2. she was and is more than happy with that course of action.
MrsPhiiiiil-to-be wears her proper ring (that we both chose afterwards) on one hand and the cheap and cheerful stunt double (bought just for the occasion) on the other... 🙂
Just give her a house
phil for bike ring see link below
http://www.bicyclegifthub.com/proddetail.asp?prod=VB6800R
I went for option 1. It worked and remains the only thing that has ever surprised her (she can normally read my kind spookily).
When I got engaged, I took her Grandmothers ring with me and proposed with that.
We then went and had a ring made to her specifications but she loved the fact that I'd used her Gran's engagement ring to propose.
I used my great grandmothers engagement ring, which needed to be resized slightly.
Can you somehow get your hands on the ring without her noticing?
Plus mrs xiphon loves the fact its a family heirloom (made by the crown jeweller too 😀 ) and an antique (1890s)
4. As per 2 & 3 but get something that looks like a big shiny diamond, but isn't
This one could be asking for trouble when she finds out its not a real stone, unless you can aford to buy a big stone latter, in that case everything is good.
thank you Rusty! 😀
we set a 30quid limit and the condition that its gotta be from a charity shop for our wedding rings, still need to get round to buying them..... 3 months today we'll be standing in front of family and friends.
holy christ on a bike... 3 months 😯
I've got it all worked out so that nothing can possibly go wrong
LOL, so had I, at the time... worked out well in the end 🙂
Can you somehow get your hands on the ring without her noticing?
Would be my thoughts, too.
If she wears it already, obviously a toughie.
If not, and it's simply kept in a safe place, would you trust yourself to travel with a precious heirloom?
Failing that a +1 on the 'propose and work out the details when you get back' - ask her, tell her you're aware that she would like her grandma's ring remodelled and that you've an appt. booked with a local jeweller when you get home...
2 - I did that and am still married 7 years later.
It's really just the thought that counts, and she will enjoy sorting the proper ring out with you later.
wait until after.
I used a sweety ring from a packet of Haribo then asked her what kind of ring she wanted and got it made for her.
Everyone assumes that a custom made ring will be more expensive, but I bought the diamonds*, ring and settings separately and got a jeweller to put it together. a similar ring in a shop would have cost twice as much.
*certificated, not blood
DO NOT BE CHEESY when you ask her....
I misread that as 'DO NOT BELCH CHEESE when you ask her', which is probably also good advice, if a little over-specific.
I seem to recall my wife bought the ring & then told me I was going to propose to her. Seemed like the easy option at the time.
Just give her a house
Thats a few years after the wedding surely
Surely the ring is merely symbolic, if 'the ring' is that important to her...well, maybe that's just something to think about.
Personally, I wouldn't propose to anyone that wasn't happy to accept ANY token ring, the prize after all is me (and vice versa). I heard some crap on the radio the other day from a girl saying a good rule of thumb was that an engagement ring should be at least a months wages...what utter cods wallop, putting a monetary value on your future partner...great start to wedded bliss.
That said, I'll be melting down a few old family rings (a few wedding rings and two mens' diamond rings) to make an engagement ring and a wedding ring. Not her choice (she doesn't even know), mine.
[b]richc[/b] 23 years later in my case - but the point stands...
Anyway - my wife asked me... (it was the 29th February)
At the end of the day... It should be what your are prepared to pay for something special for your loved one?? Is she worth something special (a one off) or is she cheap as chips??
Quality diamond, classic fitting you wouldn't go wrong unless your other half has expressed a particular style??
Personally I got a independent jewellery maker and lots of various image to get a good idea and she did an amazing job... all the brownie points help lol.. no regrets...
Highly rate
http://www.hannahbedford.co.uk/jewellery_pgs/front_pg.htm
I had taken notice of the kinds of things and jewellery that my girlfriend liked and based my choice on that, I planned popping the big question on I tiny secluded beach down in Cornwall while we holiday'd down there! I did a recce mission with my mate a month before, learnt the tide tables so we wouldnt get washed away and then sorted out a champagne picnic! On the day my mate set off from Manchester and got to the beach and set everything up including changing into formal wear (maitre d)! When we turned up she had no idea and was completely blown away. I actually proposed with a haribo ring ( her favourite) then gave her the proper ring after.
It was one of the most stressful things I've ever done, but I felt super smooth when it came together!
She said yes by the way!
I couldn't decide on a style or size but had initially carved up an old pro2 bearing as she is into her bikes aswell. It sort of looked the right size but she doesn't wear much jewelry so it was purely a guess (i kept trying to take sneaky pictures of her hands against objects I could use as guides). I carried round the bearing / don't for months and it kept me thinking about how, when and where I was going to ask her. I picked a time and place in the dales but the rain gods meant we were too wet so I decided that she wouldn't enjoy being proposed to whilst starting to get hypothermia.
In the end I decided 2 things. By overcomplicating things I was losing sight of the whole point, so I made up a notebook of ring designs and made a list of places we could visit together and then popped the question later on the day I had previously chosen at hadraw waterfall. We both appreciate a good waterfall so it was an excellent venue. She was glad we could choose it together. It was a little tricky finding somewhere on a bank holiday but fortunately the antique shops were open. She wanted something with age to it, and the ring looks brilliant.
My advice would be get on with it, don't overcomplicate it! And pro2 bearings come up surprisingly small, we had a good laugh about it after! You know her best so all internet advice is opinions of other people. I'm sure she will enjoy whatever you decide to do as long as you ask the right question.
Do what you thinks best and if she moans tell her you've changed your mind!
Zip tie worked OK for me.
binners - Member
Just give her a house
but what will he have to give her when they divorce 😉
Hope you dont obviously
I am not sure it will really matter if she wants to marry you but you know her best.