You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more
Just me then?
Only positive I can take from the experience is that I was sunbathing naked at the time so not much clean up necessary.🫤
How many bags of dried apricots did you eat, or are you recovering from flu?
One way of reserving a sun lounger I suppose
Only positive I can take from the experience is that I was sunbathing naked at the time so not much clean up necessary.🫤
Please tell me you weren't perineum sunning.
Please tell me you weren't perineum sunning.
Like Old Faithful spouting into the air...
On the plus side OP you've given us all a laugh. And nightmares.
If there's one meme which didn't require a sequel, it's Tubgirl.
I may never be able to eat from a chocolate fountain again.
As I thought... Just me then.
perineum sunning
Not specifically, but I have managed to get sunburn on my arse cheeks and ball sack.
No apricots, although yesterday's apres ride did involve several Select-spritz and quite a few birra rossa and not much else.
Bearing in mind how the event starts and finishes, I always felt that the widely-used phrase 'shart' was not quite right.
* Would it be worth promoting something like 'Farit'?
Note: edited after alpin's sensible reply below. And is it just being trendy, or should the past participle of 'shit' be 'shat'?
I think a truer description would be simply "I shit myself" but wasn't sure if it would get past the swear filter.
Felt like I'd sharted after walking around in 30 degree heat in work (site) trousers. Proper sweaty crack!
Not today...
But having had 4 bowel cancer related surgeries in 2022-2023 and with the prospect of more to come in the future potentially, sharting became all too regular an occurrence for quite some time, and still happens occasionally even now as I simply don't have the control that you might expect of someone my age (45) any more... Combine all that with lifelong IBS and you'll understand how careful I have to be at times to either be around a toilet, or to make sure my bowels are completely voided before I leave the house every day let alone contemplate letting out a fart!
should the past participle of 'shit' be 'shat'?
I'd think so. Because,
I think a truer description would be simply "I shit myself"
"I shat myself" sounds like you're explaining something that happened. "I shit myself" sounds like you're explaining something that you do. The former merely a mishap, the latter filed under Hobbies & Interests.
If my IBS is particularly bad, this is a constant threat for me unfortunately. And the problem is, the first indication that my IBS is severely acting up is when the shart comes right outta nowhere.
I’m more concerned about your decision to expose your cobblers to prolonged direct sunlight.
That seems spectacularly ill-advised
Like Old Faithful spouting into the air...
Old unfaithful seems more appropriate
Alpin, if you start routinely starting, you should find yourself having to interact with people less, which is definitely a silver lining.
If you had sharted sooner atleast you would have added an extra layer of uv protection for the Nutsack.
I crapped myself at a secondary school outing to a nuclear powerstation then threw up on the bus back (do I win 😫 edit this was back when I was a teenager no recently I must add.
I crapped myself at a secondary school outing to a nuclear powerstation then threw up on the bus back
Was it a school trip to Chernobyl?
Takes me back to my triathon days before I worked out that some types of energy drink gave me the shits. On one occasion I shat in a drain in a busy town. If you search Youtube you'll find other runners with brown stains or making impromtu toilet stops.
Takes me back to my triathon days before I worked out that some types of energy drink gave me the shits. On one occasion I shat in a drain in a busy town. If you search Youtube you'll find other runners with brown stains or making impromtu toilet stops.
You could, not sure why you would.
should the past participle of 'shit' be 'shat'?
Yes but shat is just that. You went to the toilet with the express aim of shitting. Shart is where you innocently attempt a fart which then becomes a shit.
God bless the slatted sun lounger
Or:
Managed to survive another 24 hours without shitting myself or getting a sunburnt hoop.
I really must up my game.
Yes but shat is just that. You went to the toilet with the express aim of shitting. Shart is where you innocently attempt a fart which then becomes a shit.
Similarly Vurp: Same thing. Other end.
I can only assume that one of alpin’s mates or teenage children has hacked his account. There is no other explanation for this thread.
Our fig tree is currently laden w ripening figs. While the starlings are getting some of the spoils, we are enjoying figs in parma ham, w goats cheese, fried in butter and sherry, in bircher muesli and it is dandy. Except it all tends to happen over a couple of weeks so one has to work out sensible consumption with the shart risk. I haven't been sunning my ring in the garden, so hopefully I'll survive with my decorum intact.
My MiL who is 86 finds the odd fig useful for medicinal reasons, so she is popping in for supper again this evening.
Any jam or chutney recipes gratefully received
I can only assume that one of alpin’s mates or teenage children has hacked his account. There is no other explanation for this thread.
Hi. You must be new here, welcome.
“…Any jam or chutney recipes gratefully received…’
I’d avoid Alpins chutney. Hopefully he’s been round with a mop afters
You could, not sure why you would.
Search prompted by associations springing from this thread, and for the same reason as opening this thread - which I note other people including yourself have too. 😉
Shared experience, though we are all different, I can eat figs without issue but high sugar/glucose drinks don't agree with me.
I can eat figs without issue but high sugar/glucose drinks don't agree with me.
Or too many SIS gels........making like a bear in the woods......
Search prompted by associations springing from this thread, and for the same reason as opening this thread - which I note other people including yourself have too. 😉
I for one am greatful your service. You have confirmed the existence of such photos... I feel no urge to follow through with your suggestion.
Does anyone else feel there is more to this story. What else had you taken Alpin.
The venn diagram between "i feel good and naked sunbathing is a thing i want to do" and "I feel like i might shit myself" isn't so much a pair of barely overlapping circles. More, two circles on the first and last sheet of a roll of andrex.
This is certainly a case that doesn't fall into the "Pics, or it never happened" category.
Thankfully.
Pocket knives are always good for such a scenario. You can cut through the legs of your undies to make an emergency bum wipe.
Billy Connolly said about getting older: "Never waste an erection, never walk past a toilet, never trust a fart"
Here's the OP on Britain's Got Talent.
Thanks to "Home of Modern Toss"
Felt like I'd sharted after walking around in 30 degree heat in work (site) trousers. Proper sweaty crack!
I like to do a little plie when it's hot. Baws and sweaty summer crotch, needs a plie for that moment of brief pleasure. Ahhhh!!!!
I like to do a little plie when it's hot
Misread that as "pile" and thought alpin had found a soul mate