[Closed] Love or sex?

1. I always thought that women were more likely to fall in love with someone that they had sex with and that most men could seperate the two acts???
2. Both forms, in my opinion, are just as bad and I would find both equally hard to forgive

WTF?

1) Yes.

2) I don't know about "forgive" but the latter is harder to come back from. Not that I'm trying to justify it, but people are imperfect and make mistakes. If you fall in love with someone else though, that's a showstopper surely.

1. Yes,
2. The latter.

Is that all for now?

Damn, read the title and incorrectly assumed it was another Bullheart raffle 😀

1. Yes.
2. If you can have sex without love then that form of cheating is just a selfish act, possibly somthing you could forgive (I couldn't).
The emotional cheating would be harder to forgive. But if you value the 'cheaters' happiness easier to accept.

(good questions)

1) Yes.

2) Depends.
One night stand, spur of the moment sex, can be just that and over with in one night and can be understood and forgiven depending upon the circumstances. Emotionally a person can love more than one person at any one time. Depends a lot on your definition of Love I suppose but surely someone can care for another without necessarily abandoning their partner.

What would make it a show stopper for me would be deceit. At the point when lies replace trust in a relationship is when you might as well pack your bags.

Didn't I read somewhere....

Women make love with their hearts.

Men make love with their minds.

And therein lays a problem, me thinks.

if she swallows . . . she loves 😉

1.. yes
2.. neither is unforgivable or even neccessarily a bad thing as long as your partner attempts to be completely open and honest at some point.. it's dishonesty that's the betrayal..

1. Yes. Sadly too often it's a reality it seems.
2. The first one would be harder for me, I don't believe I'd even know if she fell in love with another person, as a bloke I don't read women too well.

Rubber_Buccaneer - Member
Damn, read the title and incorrectly assumed it was another Bullheart raffle

I'm sure I could arrange you a [i]special[/i] prize... 😉

1. Yes. Or at least for me. Was pretty much the point I realised that there might not be someone for everyone and some people just die alone.

1) Yes, most definetly
2) Falling in love with someone else isn't cheating, though that would be the worst scenario me thinks.

DH Lawrence eh..

Neat..

Pimms anyone??

Have I just been redirected to Woman magazine forums?

1) Yes
2) If I could video 1 I'd probably forgive slightly easier. Harder to record 2, so probably not. 😉

what if you love someone but don't tell anyone, not even the person in question?

still a cheeder?

1) yes
2) Not sure betrayal is hard to get over but I suspect a relationship is more likely to survive a sexual affair rather than an emotional one.
Would not forgive personally

1. [s]b[/s]a
2.d or 'all of the above'

Diane Keton: "Sex without love is an empty experience."

Woody Allen: "Yes but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best!"

Hmm

I think it is very normal to fall in love with lots of people, and not necessarily in a sexual way at all. And then some with that lust aspect too - it's just biology. Despite best intentions and self discipline, how much control do you have over your natural emotions? I couldn't expect a lover to never be attracted to other people or not to love them.

No, for me betrayal is the opposite of loyalty. It's about choosing to cultivate or act improperly upon those impulses: giving them priority or money, secret liaisons, intimacy, sexual acts etc. It's very tough for anyone torn by their emotions because they generally have to suffer it in silence due to the criticism and guilt that will be heaped on them.

I think life would be much happier if society accepted that people cannot be masters of their emotions, only masters of their actions.

Definite yes to the first one.
Not sure about second one.
I think there is someone for everyone but how do you find that special person, its very difficult.
The thought of being alone for the rest of my life is not nice. Would love to meet the right person or should I say someone who takes me as I am.
Thats one for ONE HAPPY HIPPY. Your not on your own with thinking that.

1. Yes. Or at least for me. Was pretty much the point I realised that there might not be someone for everyone and some people just die alone.

Or maybe some people just never meet that 'right' person? Or even they do but don't realise it?

Some very interesting replies!

You cant help who you find attractive, and we have the capacity to love many people one way or another, as freinds for instance. When the two of those combine you are on dodgy ground but have done nothing wrong. How you choose to behave subsequently is what you should be judged on.
If the Mrs had an affair i'd personally hope that it was with someone she had an emotional attachment to. Otherwise she would have done it for nothing, and I'd hope she cared more about me than that.

1. NO - its not love its just a stalkerlike obsession that will get you in a lot of bother with the authorities

2. emotional - even thinking about it counts

soobalias - 1, very interesting point of view, it sort of fits with the characters in the D.H.Lawrence story that prompted the question. The impression is given that the man concerned may be fighting his gayness (is that a real word?) at a time when to be gay was unexceptable and illegal (thank goodness that has changed)and the woman concerned is to a degree, trying to save her reputation after an unsitable 'liason'.

2, That is pretty much the view of fundamental Christians, being unfaithfull in the heart. 'Thou shall not covet' and all that.

thanks for the input!

What kind of sex are we talking about?

Missionary...or full on porn star sex?

"[i]2, What is the worst form of "cheating"[/i]"

Five aces.

Nicky +1