[Closed] Lost my son today

Edited... Can't find the right words.

No need to be sorry.

As a dad I simply don't know what to say. Any words seem totally inadequate. Thinking of you all.

I have no words to ease your pain. Dreadful news, my thought's are with you and your family.

I've never met you but I'm actually in bits and crying.

I've just had my first daughter and can't begin to know how you feel. I can't offer advice nor consolation but my deepest sympathy.

Not sure what to say except sorry.

I just cant get my head around it they were all fine last night..

I cant sleep of anything everytime I close my eyes it just takes me back to this morning,

Hense being on the forum typing

thoughts are with you at this difficult time, its good to talk

Really don't know what to tell you. I suppose you need to concentrate on keeping the rest of the family okay, sorry to hear of your loss.

terrible terrible terrible I'm sorry mate. That's upset me a bit. There are complete and utter strangers out there that feel for you.

Lost for words, but deepest sympathy and condolences for you and family.
Be strong.

🙁

That is all. My worst fear. So, so sorry for you all.

**** I really do feel for you as i am sure all of us who are parents do
No need to apologise for bringing this up.
Deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Completely horrible, we recently lost somebody near and have to keep telling ourselves, no matter how much it hurts now it will improve, it will get better. Remember that mantra, it's true. In the mean time, when the waves of darkness hit , let them , and remember the storm will ease, it'll just take time.

I opened this hoping you lost (and found safe and sound) your son while out on a train ride but it was what I was dreading.

I am lost for words and have a tear in my eye....hug your wife and your kids and remember they are all a blessing and you have lots of great times to come.

No need to be sorry at all. I cannot imagine what it must be like. All I can say is I am thinking of you.

This place is a surprisingly good place for support - keep posting if it helps...

Take care of yourself,

J

That is the one true fear I have in life - my thoughts are with you and yours. Stay strong, I've no idea how but there must be a way.

That is an awful thing to read. The only advice I can offer is to be honest with your feelings and don't try and bottle it up.

So, so sorry for you and your family.

So sorry for your tragic loss, I can't even begin to imagine what you went/are going through. There aren't words for this kind of thing. My thoughts are with you and your family.

I'm so sorry. be strong for your family.

my deepest and most sincere condolences, as a new parent thats one if not my greatest fear. So sorry for your loss, be careful of grief, religion & alcohol. Try to focus on the living and the future however hard it must seem.

They say it's good to talk about this stuff, so well done - I don't think I could.

Look after each other, I imagine this next few weeks'll be the worst time in all of your lives. Hold on to the joy of having him, even for such a short time.

Sorry, that's all I've got.

So incredibly sorry to read this. Just so sorry.

Really stuck for what to say just heart wrenching cant imagine your pain right now.

Really sorry mate.

Joe

mate that is terrible.. tears here

look after each other now.. hard times ahead be as strong for him now as you would have if he was still here..

so so sorry

Awful to hear of your loss.

As a parent, I can only imagine your grief.

Cuddle your wife and kids.

Take care of yourself.

All I can do is offer my deepest sympathy for your loss.
Keep talking - that's what we're here for.

Will be thinking of you and your family.

No words really, just deepest sympathy.

So sorry to hear that.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Words just seem inadequate.

x

I just cant get my head around it they were all fine last night..

I can't begin to understand the unimaginable loss you are going through, specially as there was no illness to even begin to prepare you for it. Take care of each other. And my deepest condolences.

As above, there's nothing can be said in this situation. Take solace in your family as they will take solace in you. Be there for one another, and if you really need it, the community here will be here for you too in one way or another.

Thing is the twin were ill on new years eve with bronchitis and spent 10 days in hospital I thought if it happened then we would have expected that but to go in his sleep with no sign is just horrid and my brain cannot work it out

I kinda feel like I should have done more. Maybe listen practice that little much harder in training or somethingbut I swear I did everything. I could.

I also had to go for a walk today just to clear my head and I dont no why but I had to pop in my LBS (im a regular) and I dont know why I just eneded up chatting and it did help alittle so I thank the manager for putting up with Me for ten mins (I got a good man hug)

Hey fella, talk to your family, they'll be feeling just the same at the moment. They knew him too and you need to be strong for one another. Take care.

I don't know you, you don't know me but i am truly sorry to hear your very sad news...

Life really is f8cked up sometimes...

Big man hugs to you mate x

So sorry to hear this. All i can say is il be thinking of you and your family.

I met up with a friend a few weeks ago who had recently lost his dad (murdered by his step brother - a long and complex story). It was obvious from the way he was talking that he hadn't mourned yet and was still being too pragmatic. It was clear it was waiting to come out.

All I can say is the sooner you mourn, and let it all out, the sooner you can focus on looking after those that need you now.

My heart is with you.

This really puts a lot of things into perspective.

I'm really sorry to hear of your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss. No words can help this. I cant even begin to imagine... Our thoughts are with you and your family.

Im so sorry, words cant say how much. Im a father to a 4 year old, we were told when he was 2 months old he wouldnt make it through the night, the anguish and pain were unimginable. I remember thinking I had to stay strong for my wife. You are allowed to grieve , try to be strong for your family. He will always be your son.

My thoughts are with you.

Scott

Man hug from one Dad to another.

OMG! I'm very saddened to hear your news and have my sympathy! No need for apologies - if posting here helps you through this, then that's totally fine. I hope our responses help a little, but expect you'll be feeling numb for a while and that no words from anyone on here will "touch the sides". Give your family lots of hugs.

So very sorry for your loss, cannot even begin to understand or comprehend what you must be going through, our thoughts are with you and your family. From all the Spesh Spenner's.

faaaack, I don't really know what I can say to help you.

🙁

this has put a damper on my evening.

Sorry, thoughts are with you and your family 🙁

Thank you all for your kind words

Does anyone have any suggestion on how to tell the other two kids my eldest is autistic

I'm so sorry. I just can't imagine what you must be going through. I can't find any words of comfort, but be strong and loving with your family. So sad.

🙁

So, so sorry to hear this.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Does anyone have any suggestion on how to tell the other two kids my eldest is autistic

I'm assuming your forces right? Might be best to talk to the counselor/chaplain on base about that.

I mean, we can give advice but it might not be the best.

One more who is at a loss for words here. Deepest sympathies, i hope you find a way through this.

Try to keep your head above the water for your young daughters sake is all the advice I can give you really.

Spend lots of time with your wife as well, don't withdraw. Tell her how you're feeling, ask her how she is etc and listen.

Does anyone have any suggestion on how to tell the other two kids my eldest is autistic

I've always been really honest with my kids over family deaths.

Sit them down and tell them the truth is all I can offer, though I've no experience of autism.

My deepest sympathies, thinking of you and your loved ones at this very sad time 😥 be strong and dont be afraid to ask for help
Vic x

Agree with richpips, we have friends who lost a newborn and they were, as far as I know, honest about it with their 4 year old son, while of course being as delicate about it as possible. I don't think they are particularly religious but they have told him that his sister has gone and if he looks up at night she is a star in the sky.

I have no idea how I would cope in your situation except to get my family close around me and just be there for each other. Talk if it helps, get out on the bike to clear your head if you can.

Good luck fella, so so sorry to hear this.

Bloody hell. Can't / don't want to imagine what you're going through right now but my thoughts are with you and your family.

I haven't read this, just copied the link, but it may be helpful?

[url= http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/at-home/death-bereavement-and-autism-spectrum-disorders.aspx ]National Autistic Society [/url]

My misses works with people and this sort of thing.

She recommended the people below and speaking to the autistic society

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/
http://www.autism.org.uk

It's not much but it's about the best I've got

Can't even begin to imagine what your going through right now!
All I can say is your obviously a brave man so I suggest telling your eldest with all your emotion at 11.

I have a friend who's son is autistic and he had to tell him about his grandfather's death,he was in bits so just told him through tears and his son calmly walked up and held his hand and said "Dad don't cry your my best friend!"

When he told me this I was glad I was 180 miles away on the end of a phone as tears were streaming down my face.

Please don't try to be "strong" I'm pretty sure we would all give you a hug.

I've tried writing down some advice but it all seems so inadequate given the pain you must be going through right now.

There is some good advice here, might be worth a read if only to confirm that every emotion you're feeling is perfectly normal:

[url= http://www.childbereavement.org.uk ]www.childbereavement.org.uk[/url]

Please don't try to be "strong" I'm pretty sure we would all give you a hug.

anyone have any suggestion on how to tell the other two kids my eldest is autistic

I cannot offer any wise words but you and your family are in my thoughts tonight.

I started reading this thread before anyone else had replied but I closed it again because I couldn't think what to say. I still can't tbh but you all have my deepest sympathies. Look out for one another.

So sorry to hear of your tragic loss. Don't apologise. My thoughts are with you and your family. Stay strong. Gareth

Very sorry to hear this, please don't apologise for sharing. Now more than ever you need to communicate with the people around you, and accept all the support you can. Good luck, keep in touch.

Mate, massive man hug from me, dad of two, so sorry and as parents all our worst scenarios. Be strong for the family, wish I could offer more.

Oh mate. Thinking of you at this awful awful time. No advice, but Im thinking of you and your family.

I am very sorry to read this, I lost my only son in similar circumstances (Cot Death, sudden infant death syndrome they called it) All I can say is be prepared for a lot of pain and grief, you are in shock now, next comes the inevitable questions that shake any belief you might have to the core and you won't know what to do with yourself, it is the worse thing that can happen to a parent.

Needless to say you have to keep your act together for your family, neither me or you posting on internet forums is going to do much, suffice to say although it was some twenty odd years ago now, I know exactly what you are and about to be going through.

My email is in the profile, if you feel you need someone to just chat to please don't hesitate to contact me I'll give you my cel, it is an absolute hellish experience to have to deal with and one i can't boast to have ever really recovered from, My Mrs handled it differently to me and wouldn't talk, still doesn't and you don't want to dump on others so you end up dealing with it inwardly which can also **** you up in different ways which I'm happy to chat with you about.

But, like me you probably wont want to and that's O.K., but I'm sincere in the offer.

What else can i say, all it does is open the wound, you have my very deepest sympathy.

I think for the last hour or so, like many on here, I've been having a think about this and how powerfully emotional it must be. If there is anything I can do, even just to chat shite with a complete stranger my email is kevinevs@yahoo.co.uk I can't imagine your sadness

no words can help, so sorry, will be thinking of you an your family over the next few days just wish there was something we all could do. children are the greatest gift you'll ever receive, no matter how long they are in your life they will be with you for ever.

Sincerest condolences. Cannot begin to imagine how this feels. Some good advice from lots of folk more qualified than me above.
Thoughts are with you and your family.

I can't possibly say how sorry I am to hear about your loss by just typing, but i really am sorry. No words of wisdom either, but as others have said this is my worse nightmare, truly truly sorry.

I just hope that, somehow, shit gets better for you.

We are all thinking of you

you have my deepest sympathy, nothing any of us can say is going to make things better, life is just a c**t sometimes. it is what it is.
hang in there trooper!

I don't really have the words. But as per kevevs, if you need some support from a stranger (also ex-squaddie) give me a shout or if you're bristol based and fancy a beer and a chat.
ThegeneralwreckerATyahooDOTcoDOTuk

I can't begin to comprehend how you feel. The thought if that happening to my babies hurts more than I can articulate. I'm so sorry for your loss. Other words seem so shallow, but please be there for Emily & mum.

I have thought long and hard mate of something to post and I just can't do it.
So just know that I have heard the news and feel sick to the bottom of my guts for you.

You loss is truely tragic.

A child is not supposed to die before its parent.

Be with your family through all your grievings.

My thoughts are with you and your family, I'm so sorry for your loss mate....