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So like most I started biking as a kid, stopped as an adult hit 30 and started again and love it, I get I won’t ever have speed or the confidence but I enjoy being out on the bike, road, mtb or even my hateful commuter.
Now my Oh started the same time and although not keen seemed to enjoy it, got herself a good bike, it’s better than my new stumpy it’s dripping in xtr/xt kit rides well. Her biking has declined over the years to a full stop about 3 years ago. We always go to Scotland for a holiday take the bikes, last year she complained of injury so I rode 3 amazing days in the sun, this year it’s some other excuse calling it a boot camp holiday and no cycling, although again I’ve had 3 great mornings on the bike while she sleeps.
Im annoyed as driven all this way and she can’t be bothered to even come out on the uplift day, should I just cut my losses and not try next year or keep booking these trips to cycle solo which has its merits..
-Obvious Answer-
What happens when you discuss this with your OH?
That will give you your answer
Sulks....
You or her?
Sounds like she doesn’t like cycling. Strip her bike of parts, pimp your bike out and sell the remainder to fund more bike bits.
Some of my best riding trips have been predominantly on my own, jus’ sayin’
Her not me lol, any discussion around fitness, health, just fun leads to full on teenage strop from a 40 year old, it’s crazy!
Perhaps her idea of fun now differs from yours or there’s another underlying reason? What does she want to do, maybe you should try that?
Leave her to it, enjoy the riding and next year ask her if she wants to come and join you... or not. No point arguing about it IMO.
Sounds like she gave up biking 3 year's ago, and unsurprisingly any conversation about health and fitness is now a bit threatening to her. The question is how important is it she cycles with you. Bar your annual break to Scotland if she's not ridden for 3 years you are clearly getting around the issue for 51 weeks of the year.
People change and relationships have to accommodate this to stay healthy. Sound's like an opportunity for you to both find a break you enjoy as a couple and you then get to go away biking without her. Sounds win win to me.
Her idea of a fun is a beach holiday lying in the sun, which we do once a year for two weeks, it drives me round the bend no biking.
Get a tandem!
For me it’s important it’s time together, both work shifts it’s rare we get a day off together so it’s quality time in the great outdoors, and during the week I bike solo most the time or with one or two mates when they can, I guess it’s nice to share a hobby and my favourite moments biking have been Nevis red and wolftrax with my oh. Except one day out in wales but that’s going to take some beating!
I am sort of serious. Do you leave her trailing behind all the time? - thats very discouraging and something I see a lot.
Before we got the tandem we had given up riding together because of the frustrations it caused both of us. Now we ride together so much its been rare the last year for me to be out on my own
Perhaps you need a holiday that doesn't involve bikes together? Also a serious suggestion
Her idea of a fun is a beach holiday lying in the sun, which we do once a year for two weeks, it drives me round the bend no biking.
My oh too, and I endure this to keep things sweet. She doesn't mind if I hire a bike the odd day, but equally we have 3 kids so a lot of any family hol is spent in water park's, theme park's and being dragged behind boats etc. We both work irregular shifts, and actually some of the nicest time we have is when we can farm the kids out and get the odd couple of night's away together, it's just nice to chill out with my best mate.
Sounds like you might need another shared interest...... Not kids!
I leave my OH lying by the pool and go cycling. Come back, we share beers and BBQ, it's a win win.
You can't make her like your hobby. Why don't you try doing something she enjoys if you want to spend more time together, or something new you'd both like to try?
Would she ride if she PX’d her bike for an eBike?
it’s quality time in the great outdoors,
Thats your version of Quality Time, to her it’s shit
Her not me lol, any discussion around fitness, health, just fun leads to full on teenage strop from a 40 year old, it’s crazy!
You should punch her.
Would she ride if she PX’d her bike for an eBike?
You should definitely punch her..... In the head. And hard.
Ask her what she would like to do.
If she doesn't enjoy it or never really did then I would stop fighting it and suggest selling the bike. If it's down to other reasons like falling out of the habit and struggling to get back into it due to fitness and mental hurdles then talk to her about a way back in maybe new bike or ebike and build it up gradually starting local rather than holiday trail trail centres and uplift which can be very intimidating when you've not ridden much. When I was just getting into biking my oh persuaded me into biking holidays abroad and whilst they did help my progression in a in at the deep end kind of way they left me bruised and battered, tired and anxious quite a lot of the time and though I love riding now I actually prefer my holidays to be about relaxing with a little bit of cycling perhaps.
Early onset menopause? 40's and beyond can be a tough time for a woman. But yeh what tj says - off-road tandeming is like being a kid on a bike again ☺️
If we got a tandem she wouldn’t pedal, I’ve suggested selling the bike a few times to be met with a chunk of resistance, suggested the electric bike route even hired one for her but on the day excuses for not riding so wasn’t used.
I guess I should give up and leave it be.
I guess I should give up and leave it be.
Good lad, the secret to a long relationship 🙂
stop nagging her 🙂
<b>Tommy</b>: it’s quality time in the great outdoors,
<b>Sick Boy</b>: Look, Tommy. We know you’re gettin’ a hard time off Lizzy, but there’s really no need to take it out on <i>us</i>.
<b>Tommy</b>: Doesn’t it make you proud to be Scottish?
<b>Renton</b>: It’s ** being Scottish! We’re the lowest of the low! The scum of the *in’ Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever * into civilization! Some people hate the English. I don’t. They’re just **. We, on the other hand, are <i>colonized</i> by *. Can’t even find a decent culture to be colonized <i>by</i>! We’re ruled by effete holes! It’s a * state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and all the fresh air in the world won’t make any *in’ difference!
Her idea of a fun is a beach holiday lying in the sun, which we do once a year for two weeks, it drives me round the bend no biking.
Try a Neilson or Mark Warner holiday, you can do as much or as little cycling as you want and so can she. We used to go on these a lot, i’d get up early for the morning ride whilst my partner had a lay in then we’d meet for breakfast do stuff together, maybe go for a ride in the evening. They were a great way of both of us getting as active as we wanted to be without placing pressure on the other to join in.
She doesn’t like riding bikes and complains.
You don’t like summer sun lazy holidays and complain.
works both ways.