[Closed] Longshot but why can't we all play nice?

Have a lovely ride and enjoy yourself.

Discussions involve different opinions. Can't see anything wrong with that, keeps the place interesting.

Er, so get lost you idiot! 😉

I think it's OK to disagree, that's life, but there is a way or wording things without being aggressive yes.

The latest subject grinding people’s gears seems to be E Bikes.

Rubbish, the gears on e-bikes work just as well as on normal bikes.

Things did seem to get a bit nippy over the weekend. Dunno why.

I have tried to self moderate a bit more than I used to - with varying amounts of success but some posters seem to be out to upset and annoy deliberately.

Even the mods are Big Hitters these days!

it hasn’t affected my fitness

tbh, that's what I find too, horsing about on turbo doesn't do much for your fitness! 😆

There is a huge difference between talking on forums and in real life. For some reason people seem ill disposed towards each other when there's no face and no presence, so they automatically assume the worst. It's something deeply psychological IMO.

Some people take disagreement badly.

Re the e bikes, at least we know who the most excellent MTBer is. Which is nice.

I thought this was a thread about Cotics geometry and how it's not suited to tight switchbacks and messing about in the woods. I'm disappointed.

I can't imagine any of this is any more sinister than online banter/ keyboard warriors.
I've never seen any type of rider calling out another type of rider in real life.. unless he's being a ****.

some posters seem to be out to upset and annoy deliberately.

The phrase involving fish in a barrel springs to mind!😉

No idea what you mean but that TJ is a right patronising ,paternalistic ,self righteous git.

Some people take disagreement badly.

No they don't.

I have always come on here for fun. in the past my sense of humour was not liked I think. but I have met lots of folk off here, and when they realise I am a nice bloke, all seems good.

I now come on here, and it makes me a bit sad. you know the outcome of posts before reading em. there don't seem to be much fun.

2 certain people who post often , always seem to bring things down to a bitter squabble. and it depresses the **** out of the place.

Grrr, why can't people not use crappy Merkan expressions like "play nice"*. I did get my mountain bike out yesterday and had a very pleasant ride, slowing down for walkers and dogs and smiling at everybody.

* my apologies if this is an expression used in Scotlandshire or some other region of England.

Sorry 🙁 partly my fault.
I can't help but get annoyed by a couple of other regulars, and then I don't do myself any favours by keeping on at it.
I will try my best to moderate my responses 😛

I'm off to grout the shower now. Yay. Then maybe a ride later.

The benefit of not being a car owner is riding my bike every day. Usually several times.
The way I post after a ride is quite different to how I respond before the endorphins have kicked in.

Because plain text is a terrible medium for rapid conversation. Replied are penned rapidly before the conversation moves on and ones point is ignored. then these same replies can be mused over and re-read, so can be are misconstrued and the worst assumed.

We judge ourselves by our intentions not our actions (or what is written). We judge others by their actions.

Put it all together and it's very easy to get oneself wound up and make enemies.

Gather the same people together in a pub and it's very different. We want to get along with people and will try and see the best in each other.

And proud of it NIck!

Even the mods are Big Hitters these days!

🤣🥴

I reckon society in general has gotten a bit nasty, probs something to do with a vote back in 2016...

Ton - certainly when I first met you on line on here you did come over as very abrasive but both thru meeting you and conversing more my opinion of you changed greatly

I am well aware I have really rubbed folk up wrongly in the past and now do try not to - I guess you did the same?

The limitations of text based conversations really show up in forums. Nicks post above for example - I could have taken offence or I could see it as a gentle wind up. I took it as humorous but 5 years ago I probably would have got angry

There are a lot of people who seem to come here to be offended, they should try Facebook, they have actual algorithms designed to bring you things to be offended at.

On here? Over the years following this forum I’ve witnessed so many threads turning nasty, why? I know trolls exist, heck there’s even talk that a lot of people on here don’t even ride bikes! 😱 The latest subject grinding people’s gears seems to be E Bikes. Thing is I bought one I love it it hasn’t affected my fitness as I use it once a week the best thing is it’s a damn good laugh so what’s wrong with that?
In summary we are all different how about we accept that fact and rub along together, have a nice day friends 😎

clearly trolling

There is a danger, and I've been guilty, of over-extending into unappreciated/unrecognised banter. This is normally fine between mates and I reckon I just assume that, being around the forum so long, with many of the same folk, I tend to think of them all as mates. I've had to apologise to one regular for my behaviour.

There are, of course, those that set out to aggravate. They tread the fine line between that and trolling, hoping to escape a ban.

Also, and another thing I recognise in myself, as I've got older I've tended to become a bit more forthright when someone posts nonsense. I try to knock that back but we are living in an age when some seem to revel in their stupidity. They need called out.

We just need a good singalong.

There are a lot of people who seem to come here to be offended

Go on, say it - vegetarians.

thing is though, seriously - nothing matters. On here I mean. If you don't like something someone's typed, you can just go away... for a hour, or forever, just don't read that thread anymore - it'll soon disappear. It's actually easier to not get into an argument than it is to get into one!

Go on, say it – vegetarians.

Music buffs 🙂

There is a danger, and I’ve been guilty, of over-extending into unappreciated/unrecognised banter. This is normally fine between mates and I reckon I just assume that, being around the forum so long, with many of the same folk, I tend to think of them all as mates. I’ve had to apologise to one regular for my behaviour.

There's a definite truth in this. For my part, I kind of assume that everyone 'knows' me and realises that I'm rarely particularly serious. It's bitten me on the arse a few times over the years.

Nicks post above for example – I took it as humorous but 5 years ago I probably would have got angry

Drat! Back to the drawing board.

There’s a definite truth in this. For my part, I kind of assume that everyone ‘knows’ me and realises that I’m rarely particularly serious. It’s bitten me on the arse a few times over the years.

Junkyard Jonny and I once discussed this over a couple of beers. He coined Druidhs 1st Law of STW - "always assume comments made are with the friendliest of intentions".

@Tjagain it's good that you're trying to self moderate, have you thought about the underlying psychological reasons for your behaviour.
At the moment you're treating the symptoms not the cause.

Is there an opposite to the Edinburgh Defence?

I’ve had a few instances where I’ve had to convince people that I actually wasn’t joking.

Is there an opposite to the Edinburgh Defence?

Pre-vent at hive strike.

Music buffs

HMph!

There is a huge difference between talking on forums and in real life. For some reason people seem ill disposed towards each other when there’s no face and no presence, so they automatically assume the worst. It’s something deeply psychological IMO.

I was listening to a podcast earlier talking about immigration - the David Milliband 'Reasons to be Cheerful' one - which included someone from Hope Not Hate and there were some interesting points about the dangers of using the internet and social media to form a picture of public opinion.

The gist of it was that people online tend to be dramatically polarised - on a spectrum of opinion on something either one out of ten, or ten out of ten but not much in between. In real life, opinions were much more nuanced, but the extreme positions taken up online means that those with more centred opinions just tend to abandon the ground to the extremists, so you end up with a discourse which isn't really representative of how people think generally, but is somehow taken as a representation of public opinion.

It seemed reasonable.

Junkyard Jonny and I once discussed this over a couple of beers. He coined Druidhs 1st Law of STW – “always assume comments made are with the friendliest of intentions”.

The way I always phrased this is, "if something I say can be taken one of two ways, and one of those ways makes you angry or upset, I almost certainly meant the other one."

Perhaps the OP should be careful what they wish for.

I've been, in the past, a member of all sorts of forums for various things, some work related, some hobby, some consumer.

The ones when everyone's on the same page absolutely suck.

The worst was probably the Honda Accord owners club (as you can probably imagine).

Post 1: I think my Honda is great because....
Post 2: +1!!!
Post 3: +2!!!
Post 4: +3!!!

Or

Poster 1: I think my Honda is great, but it's got this fault.
Poster 2: They are aren't they! You probably didn't see it, but there's an FAQ section right above this post, it lists all of the 6 faults that literally every Honda of your model will suffer at some point, whilst almost supernaturally never suffering a single other fault, unless it's been caused by kinetic misadventure, please refer to the above.
Poster 1: So there it! This comprehensively covers both the exact fault I've got and a very handy step-by-step guide to fixing it, along with pictures.

20k members apparently, about 6 posts a month.

Ultimately, if people get upset about things that are said on here, it's worth remembering the internet is like the worst flat roof pub at closing time on a Tuesday. It's just bitter old drunks all stuck on 'send' trying to score points on an imaginary scoreboard. If you actually want some practical tips and advice, you'll usually get it here, just step out of the thread when you've got what you need, before it descends into the usually brand tribalism and unfounded mythology.

However, if you fancy an argument when you should be working, stay around for page 2.

I'll also add, despite what some people think - facebook groups are often far more friendly and helpful - it's amazing how people change when you can see what they look like, and their real name.

P Jay - I have found the opposite - I have walked away from 3 facebook groups because of their population of twerps with no redeeming features.

twerps with no redeeming features.

Hitler?

That's not Hitler, I think. He had a moustache. Unless that is a very early pic?

Well I've learned something. My next car will be a Honda Accord.
I've always been a bit surprised at the Piston Headsish tone of what should be a cyclists forum, but I've now realised that a lot of posters on here have googled STW and arrived here thinking it is the Super Tourenwagen web site. Obviously all that adrenalin makes people aggressive.
And here's another thought. It's men, isn't it.

STW and arrived here thinking it is the Super Tourenwagen web site

It's a mtb site with lots of affluent blokes on it who also have nice cars.

CTC etc will have a v different user base

@ajantom

Sorry 🙁 partly my fault.
I can’t help but get annoyed by a couple of other regulars, and then I don’t do myself any favours by keeping on at it.

PM me

You certainly seem to have issues.
I'm happy to help you through them.
#SRSLY

The latest subject grinding people’s gears seems to be E Bikes

Hadnt even read that thread but as soon as i read that comment^ I knew who the chief offender would be. A quick check confirmed my suspicions. The guy is an absolute try hard tragedy 🤣🤣🤣

And here’s another thought. It’s men, isn’t it.

mumsnet.
it's just as volatile there.

The gist of it was that people online tend to be dramatically polarised

This is not an accident; I was listening to a Sam Harris pod cast that was really interesting in relation to this: Making Sense

S**t this is a forum for cyclists? I’m oot! 😳

There are a lot of people who seem to come here to be offended, they should try Facebook, they have actual algorithms designed to bring you things to be offended at.

While I haven’t deleted it, I haven’t visited Fb for the best part of a year for mainly that reason, but also it was absorbing too much time; actually, a lot of that time was being spent looking for ways to refute the complete bollocks that so many people who ought to know better keep posting, a lot of it conspiracy crap like contrails and other trash.
Also, not having either time or money for gig tickets meant staying away from music oriented pages stopped me from getting beat up over missing out on stuff, but that’s just an extra benefit.

I’ve had a few instances where I’ve had to convince people that I actually wasn’t joking.

See, sometimes a person can be just too damned good at what they do!
😁

If we all played nice it would be really boring. This place is great in general and populated by seemingly good eggs. There are a couple who want to argue and a few that want to find hidden context in everything. There’s always a couple of nutters though, just like in the real world.

It's also the case that there are a few folk on here with (probably undiagnosed) mental health problems. Once you've identified them it's better not to engage. This forum has (had) a habit of ganging up on such individuals.

It’s disturbing/eye-opening how many people don’t care about being inconsiderate online.

In the early days of the internet I thought it was just trolling. Now I realise that more people than I ever realised were just utter twunts.

mumsnet.
it’s just as volatile there.

Apart from they get to do with naughty words too.

We don't because that might scare away female forum users and their delicate ears.....who knob off to mumsnet.

@tjagain you've certainly moderated since returning to the forum - winding up less people and wound up less too - 👍

S**t this is a forum for cyclists? I’m oot! 😳

Come back! We're not cyclists any more, we're people who ride bikes!!!!

It’s disturbing/eye-opening how many people don’t care about being inconsiderate online.

There's an attitude amongst some that the Internet isn't "real life," I've argued against this before on this very forum.

Apart from they get to do with naughty words too.

We don’t because that might scare away female forum users and their delicate ears…

It's more that STW is supposed to be family-friendly, and in any case it's a better place for not having every other post swearing like a transport caff is it not?

If anyone has a desire to be more misogynistic and "say it like it is" but for STW's "political correctness gone mad" then I'd suggest that's going to fall on deaf ears and they'd be better somewhere like Pistonheads.

t’s more that STW is supposed to be family-friendly, and in any case it’s a better place for not having every other post swearing like a transport caff is it not?

If anyone has a desire to be more misogynistic and “say it like it is” but for STW’s “political correctness gone mad” then I’d suggest that’s going to fall on deaf ears and they’d be better somewhere like Pistonheads.

There certainly is an argument that the dwellers of mumsnet are able to use naughty words but not have profanity as the single most used adjectives as I suspect we would. It does encourage finding of useful workarounds and colourful alternatives which has to be a good thing. The family friendly aspect always amuses me - the majority of the naughty words I know have been taught to me by the teenagers I work with day to day! It's the endless discussion about toasters, winter tyres and brexit which makes it unsafe for innocent youth.

The Yak does play nice but even that can, occasionally, get The Yak into trouble.
The Yak knows not why.

I think the old brigade have move on as it used to be really friendly.

Just ignore the trolls. And stop being one myself ahem!

Ride more.