[Closed] Living with yourself and others,

Most nights, not every, I have a glass of wine or two, a beer or two or whatever. I quite like a glass of scotch but I limit myself to one bottle a month as it does seem to deplete rather quickly when I have it, I can easily munch through a bottle in a week and go without for the rest of the month

That's far, far too much to be healthy. I take it you don't drive the next morning?

Shes already stopped you smoking, now she's working on the drink, whats next?

Sounds to me that it's more than just a drink or two and that you're using that expression to condense the reality. That's what it sounds like anyway.

My advice would be to, in isolation, make a note of what you drink each week and see how it adds up, decide whether you're drinking too much then.

It does sound a lot....

Oh - no children?

If kids are on the horizon (and excessive alcohol makes conception less likely) then having them might also change your behaviour.

That's far, far too much to be healthy. I take it you don't drive the next morning?

I drive to work every day but I think you may have misunderstood me, I rarely drink more than 6 units in an evening. I will have a glass of wine or two OR a beer or two. Not all of them at the same time!

Kids... then having them might also change your behaviour.

No doubt.

21 units per week for an adult male is the recommended limit. As said above, might be worth seeing how you compare to this.

That is way too much to drink.

Calm down and listen to your Mrs as she is right in pointing that to you because you cannot see it since you are the one "enjoying" the drink.

Sometimes we take thing for granted and take it to the extreme without knowing that we have overdone it. It is only when someone pointed the our habit to us that we realise there is something not normal.

Also, probably, she needs someone more healthy rather than having health problem later.

I either have to change my behaviour or she has to worry less.

I am not sure I even know how to change, I have found myself in a pattern of behaviour which satisfies my needs, keeps me functional and ensures I can relax without raging against the world. The only downside seems to be the worry that it causes in my partner.

I'm in a pattern of behaviour that keeps me from being suicidal. Tonight it took about five pints and a couple of whisky's. I wouldn't have done this seven months ago when I thought all was good between me and my now ex partner.

Sounds to me that it's more than just a drink or two and that you're using that expression to condense the reality

There is no point in lying on here, very few of you know me and your feedback would be worthless if I was untruthful

This evening I have had one small Whisky and one G&T, primarily because someone left a bottle of gin in the house after a heavy weekend and it saves me buying more booze. I very rarely buy gin unless my mother is coming to visit!

It was the second G&T that prompted the discussion.

So - you drank the gin "because it was there", not because you particularly like it - after all, you rarely buy it for yourself. If you don't particularly enjoy gin, why did you want to drink it?

Its the every night bit that worries me - and I bet if you actually added it up over a month it would be frightening the amount you drink

I always have enjoyed a drink and getting drunk on occasion. Ten years ago i realised my couple of pints a couple of times a week( I almost always go out to drink) had turned into 3 or 4 pints 3 or 4 times a week - and a good session at the weekend so I cut it back greatly.

I still get hammered now and then - and infact I am now beginning to worry that is an issue. I have no memory of getting home Saturday night.

I probably overdo it about once a fortnight (always on the weekends) which will include not remembering going to bed or waking up on the sofa.

You don't say how old you are but I would think you are drinking far too much, it will have a toll on your health in the future and your consumption will begin to rise

i would suggest its time to do something about it now before you end up in full scale addiction 3 non drinking days a week at minimum and probably a complete break for a couple of weeks

you might be surprised how much clearer headed you are in the day if you do

Drinking every day is not good, drinking the amount you do over a week is not good

i think its quite possible you are a "high functioning alcoholic"

So - you drank the gin "because it was there", not because you particularly like it - after all, you rarely buy it for yourself. If you don't particularly enjoy gin, why did you want to drink it?

Oh no, don't get me wrong, I am very partial to a G&T, it would just not be my first choice of drink.

Home measures of spirits are usually much larger than pub measures.

When did you last have a day without a drink?

Perhaps try and do a couple of other activities on a few evenings that don't involve booze.

You don't say how old you are

32

i think its quite possible you are a "high functioning alcoholic"

I think you are probably right, but compared to those I saw around me as I was growing up, I know I am not in danger of drinking myself to death.

When did you last have a day without a drink?

Sunday, but that was after an old boozy friend came over Saturday and I needed a day off.

Is TJ actually your bird?

really tho, not an unreasonable point he's making

Perhaps try and do a couple of other activities on a few evenings that don't involve booze.

She is always too tired. 😉

On a serious note, I have started to write again after a long break which I hope will distract me.

You have asked for others opinions. I would take heed if i were you.

I have lost a friend to drink not that long ago. at your age he drank like you do. He was dead by fifty.

I suggest you come back to this thread when you are sober.

I suggest you come back to this thread when you are sober.

I am not drunk now, I know I have had a couple of drinks but I am perfectly lucid. I do fully intend to listen to the responses and absorb them. I am appealing for a sense of normality here which I can gauge myself against.

EDIT seems I'm doubling up on some advice here. Typing at the same time, sorry.

Try abstinence. Go without the drink for a few weeks and see what your relationship with it actually is. And if you feel rage against "the world", then I suggest that you learn how to work out precisely what it is gets you to that state (of rage/anxiety), and why. They are complicated problems that require a steady head and clear thinking to resolve - it simply isn't possible to do so whilst under the influence of alcohol.

You may find it useful keeping a diary.

6 units a night 5 days a week - plus a good session once a week - thats another 15 units - so 45 units a week. Twice the maximum

As you well know from your own personal experience alcoholics can go through dry periods (proving to themselves they don't have a problem because they can go without. 1 questionaire thing to look at would this one. Two "yes" responses indicate that the respondent should be investigated further. The questionnaire asks the following questions:

1. Have you ever felt you needed to Cut down on your drinking?
2. Have people Annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
3. Have you ever felt Guilty about drinking?
4. Have you ever felt you needed a drink first thing in the morning (Eye-opener) to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover?

The most concerning bit to me would be the binges with blackouts etc. Given your normal consumption it must take quite a bit to get you in that kind of state. I would suspect that is the bit that worries your partner the most.

I don't want to come across as saying you have a problem as I don't know you. I drink several beers and love a wee dram of whisky too, I probably exceed the government limits on units some weeks. I have a beer sitting beside me as I write and I could answer yes to 2 of those questions.

Assuming everything you say is true about the amount, being alright in your job and whatnot, it sounds like quite a lot to me. I don't know whether I'd be losing sleep over it. You are, almost inevitably, going to die of something. It's the "void" bit that would bother me, as presumably if the void is there then there's no particular guarantee that it'll always be filled by amounts of booze small enough that your job, health and relationship can hold them in. Can one stay as a "high functioning alcoholic" indefinitely or does one inevitably cease to be very functional (TJ)?

My wife used to accuse me of drinking too much. I think her perspective on it was rather skewed, she's almost certainly never been properly pissed and can make half a glass last a very long time. Are you and your partner using very different yardsticks?

The other thing I'd say is that my drinking, such as it is, is very easily displaced by exercise.

Take it easy anyhow.

Twice the maximum

I know I know, but my inherent distrust of authority has led me to do my own research and it turns out you have to drink over 60 units a week to get back to the same risk of coronary disease as a tee-totaller ([url= http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/article2697975.ece ]here[/url]).

I know, excuses excuses. I am going to go to bed, thanks all for taking the time to read and I shall see all of you slackers in the morning!

I had an eye-opening moment of clarity last year. One of the young lads I work with occasionally at the ski slope turned up looking flustered and upset. It turned out his dad was in hospital with serious heart problems, mostly down to his habit of downing a bottle of wine every night, sometimes more and smoking heavily too.

Now this guy (the dad) is only six years older than me and I realised my consumption wasn't far behind his. I excercise vigorously which may somewhat mitigate the damage, but as I said, it was a real eye-opener.

I still drink at least half a bottle of red every night - I very rarely get hammered - it's more like I have reached a plateau, but I'm very aware it's not a healthy state of affairs. All the more so as the wife and I are thinking along the lines of babies and she reminds me daily (and forcibly) that cutting back is a necessity.

I'm knocking the tabs on the head on the 1st of February and plan to make a serious effort to drink much less at the same time.

So, in short, and to answer the OP, yes, that much drink is a problem and I share it 🙂

my opinion,

who cares? I drink a fair bit (I live in London and live with lots of other people so there is always temptation to go for a beer!)

However, whilst your booze consumption is undoubtedly against medical advice and will probably not be doing you any good your question is about its other impacts on your life.

From my experience and my friends and people at work I wouldn't say your consumption is unusual though because its causing arguments I would say it's probably officially classed as 'problem' drinking (thats what I scored when I did a standard alcohol dependency test, im not trying to be negative)

Personally I would take an objective view of the situation, but these are the standard questions. From a personal point of view I definitely tick some of these boxes, including my missus rolloxing me for liking the sauce? I also spend too much money on it and I have rocked into work late because I was razzed up. Personally I see all that and at the moment I don't care. Why not have a think and cut down on the sauce a little and as summer approaches start heading out for a ride more often? (Thats always a killer with me, i LOVE a cold beer after a ride!) :-

1. Do you ever worry that you drink too much?

2. Have friends or family expressed concern about you about your drinking habits?

3. Do you find you can drink a lot without becoming drunk?

4. Do you need to drink more to have the same effect?

5. Have you tried to stop drinking, but found that you were unable to for more than a few days?

6. Do you carry on drinking even though it is interfering with your work, family or relationships?

7. Do you need a drink to start the day?

8. Do you get shaky, sweaty or anxious a few hours after your last drink?

9. Have you experienced blanks in your memory, where you can’t remember what happened for a period of hours or days?

10. Is your judgement affected by alcohol, so that you do things that you normally wouldn’t, such as starting fights or arguments, having unprotected sex with strangers or becoming violent.

Can one stay as a "high functioning alcoholic" indefinitely or does one inevitably cease to be very functional (TJ)?

I don't know. My pal was working and living an organised life right until he died. More than just the booze.

My take on it to the OP is that you are on the cusp. You might not be introuble now but carry on as you are and you will be in ten years times.

I think the fact your posting on here shows that you are worried too at about your age i was a serious binge drinker about a months allowance in one night then 48 hour hangover then nothing till next time i was no good to anyone for 3days each month so i cut drink out for a year then started moderately i have no regrets and still have the odd sesh

user-removed that's my minimum too (half bottle of red). But it is an absolute minimum. I'd love to find a way to cope without it.

I've not read that lot up there, but in the true style of stw, it wont be lacking in good advice.

Here's mine.

I would be fairly confident in saying you are experiencing the first stages of alcoholism.

It's now that you may have the control to do something about it, though i fear not.

You're using it as a means to be able to cope with certain situations, nothing wrong there.

However, it's clear to others specifically, your fiancée is witnessing clear changes in your behaviour/temperament that gives her cause for concern. You personally will not of noticed it as it's part of the denial stage of addiction.

You're body will in time, not respond in the way it needs to after your 6 units a night and gradually, you'll increase your intake.

It will spiral and develop to a point where it will begin to affect you mentally stopping you from functioning without it.

This all will sound very negative a scary. But you've come here tonight for help, clearly the concerns of your fiancée are also concerns of ones of your own.

You need to take this seriously and get help to reduce the need for drink to fill that void.

And that is to find out what that void is or why. Then you need to fill it in a positive and productive way.

I've seen the ravaging changes from various addictions. We all have the potential to become an addict to something so you're no different to any of us.

But using booze to fill that void will only lead one way.

First point of call is to your GP.

Explain like you have to us here, your concerns and that of others, be honest totally. And do it for you and your father..

HTH

Kunstler. I'm still awaiting that mail from you, if you ever find a way to say what you want to say.
In you're own time though K

Sharki.

This has made me stop and think. I like a couple of beers of an evening but its becoming more than 'habit'. 😯

I know I know, but my inherent distrust of authority has led me to do my own research and it turns out you have to drink over 60 units a week to get back to the same risk of coronary disease as a tee-totaller

The fact that you're hunting for evidence to justify your actions suggests yoou're aware you have a problem starting. Take noting of your SO, and others here. Anyone having a drink each night is on shaky foundations IMO, but more specifically if doing it "to relax".

(Spent 8 years as a student, I know how to have a good time and drink, but rarely drink more than a few pints every couple of weeks after the novelty wore off)

I'm with coffeeking on this, the title masks the real reason for the thread, you have come here looking for support and not advice, you appear to see your partner as the problem for questioning your habits and you're looking for the evidence to convince yourself that you are doing no wrong.

You have to be brutally honest with yourself and that will hurt and you probably won't like the answers, and until you are honest with yourself you won't be able to be honest with those around you.

Hmm interesting responses. I guess you need to take into account that alot of posters on here are going to be more into health and fitness than your general slice of the population.

I spent much of last year having a glass or two of wine or a couple of beers every night. It did not affect (or I did not see it as a hinderence) my work/relationships or fitness in so far as I commuted by bike and played a bit of footy once a week.

This year I decided to try ceacing alcohol in the week unless a special occasion and easing off on the weekend generally. I have to say I do feel a bit sharper, though havent noticed a massive difference in weight/fitness.

I know what you mean about a void that needs to be filled, in my youth I experimented with various drugs and smoked tabs until about 4 or 5 years ago. Sometimes I think the urge for a beer is a crutch for the real urge for a fag... I think I could probably never drink again if smoking was good for you!!

Best of luck, you sound sane enough, I am sure you will realise if you need to moderate yourself a little more.

1. Do you ever worry that you drink too much?

Yes, but usually only after a heavy night.

2. Have friends or family expressed concern about you about your drinking habits?

Yes, hence I am here talking about it

3. Do you find you can drink a lot without becoming drunk?

No, I have a reasonable capacity but I would wake up with a thick head after a bottle of wine.

4. Do you need to drink more to have the same effect?

Not really, been pretty stable in this behaviour for years, though it can fluctuate a little.

5. Have you tried to stop drinking, but found that you were unable to for more than a few days?

I can give up for prolonged periods but always return to consumptive behaviour.

6. Do you carry on drinking even though it is interfering with your work, family or relationships?

This is the first time my lady has spoken to me about it and I do intend to moderate further in order to put her mind at ease and tackle what I have known is an issue for a long time.

7. Do you need a drink to start the day?

Never.

8. Do you get shaky, sweaty or anxious a few hours after your last drink?

No.

9. Have you experienced blanks in your memory, where you can’t remember what happened for a period of hours or days?

As above, I occasionally can't remember going to bed but on a big session I can black out and not remember a thing. My friends say I fall asleep rather early!

10. Is your judgement affected by alcohol, so that you do things that you normally wouldn’t, such as starting fights or arguments, having unprotected sex with strangers or becoming violent.

Nope.

We have had a bit of a chat this morning and we are both going to make an effort not to drink on school nights and see where we go from there.

Thanks for the input everyone.

Sounds like you have solution, you drinking pattern is much like mine, though i have fewer excesses. However, every now and then, i 'stay dry' for an extended period, usually lent. Partly to prove it to myself, as a challenge and to make sure i can. The first couple of weeks are not easy.

Morning Torm,

As you know I used to love a smoke, at times this meant I didn't really drink at all, at other times I've smoked heavily and drank a four pack a night. Never has this gotten in the way of my career or my sporting endeavours.

Nowadays, having binned all smoking, I drink a couple of glasses of wine a night, medicinal isn't it? Makes your meal taste better. I tend to go for red as it's got loads of anti-oxidants in it. It's pretty much a superfood, right? I do have a couple of nights off a week though, most weeks anyway.

For me, as with smoking, it's very habitual, not that the alcohol per se is helping me relax, but the process of pouring a glass etc all helps to distinguish between being busy doing stuff and relaxing. Having a couple of glasses doesn't stop me driving to work, and doesn't stop me making it to the pool for 7am everyday btw.

Do like a nice glass of armangac too, might get another bottle on the way home. I think the solution to this is that we meet up and get slightly drunk round Phil's?

Yeti

I was going to post one of the several "drunk lolcat" images, but this is not the time or the place.

Going to be blunt as no amount of prettying up my words will make them any easier to hear... plus I figured you're the kinda chap who'd prefer blunt to wishywashy.

Comparing your drinking to your dad wont help, you'll always be able to argue you're not as bad as him and this will mean you're not comparing yourself to a "normal drinker".

Drinking 6 units or more nearly everyday isnt good for you, forget research, forget trying to compare your consumption with what other STWers drink.... non drinkers will be ignored and you'll find solace in the "I drink a bottle of red every day and I'm fine, dont let the TJ tell you what to think!" type responses

Well done for laying off the smoking 'cos the fiance doesnt like it 🙂 replacing smoke with alcohol isn't fantastic though... exercise does wonders for mental health, stress levels, motivation etc etc heard it all before blah blah.... but it's true 😀 If you want we should make a weekly ride at your end or my end, so at least the company (have I mentioned how awesome I am?) and motivation of having the other person wanting to ride might help create another booze free evening?

I know that addiction... is bad for my self esteem and for my sense of feeling normal but I have always had a void that seems to need to be filled and despite my best efforts, have always returned to a consumptive behaviour pattern.

Very reflective, TSY, give this man a hug. I could go on through your post and pick apart what you've written but to summarise it comes across as a mix of "I know I've got a problem but dont know how to fix it" and "It's not really a problem is it? somebody tell me they drink more and are fine.. it's just the silly women worrying" she's worrying 'cos the crazy thing loves you.

You're intelligent, you know which way forward is going to mean you're at a HUGE risk of turning into your dad, and which will put you on track for a healthier body, mind and relationship 🙂

And just for luck:

[img] [/img]

EDIT, you posted a response whilst i was writing... my advice and offer of regular rideness still stands.

Phil, you saying I've got a problem, 'fight you!'

Thing that has made me think recently is that I've been going for drinks with people that are outside my normal social circle. These people go into pubs and don't have a drink, like, WTF? What is wrong with them? So I have as much as I'm allowed to because of driving, then get home and have a nice glass of armangac to unwind. 😳

Also, it seems that a lot of people who live on there own don't drink with their meals, I don't want to have to get a housemate just so I can have a drink in the evening!

Oh yeah, we can hug when we get to Phil's.

Without going into details but from experience, I'd suggest that you speak with your GP as they are able to refer you to a range of conselling resources that can help. I'd say you drink too much and also it sounds like you regularly drink alone which is a bit of a red flag.

First you have to come to understand why you drink and then you need to replace the drink with something else that has the same effect on your mind.

Without the negative physiological side effects.

Just as bad habbits are easy to form, so are good ones.

You might also want to take milk thistle to line and to protect your liver from toxins.

I found my drinking creeping up recently - it wasn't at all uncommon for Mrs nickf and I to share a bottle of wine every evening, plus I'd often have a beer. The Christmas period didn't help - I love a decent malt, so I'd find I might be having one or two of them as well as all the above.

So I've stopped drinking completely during the week, and have cut back at the weekends, so that I'm now drinking a maximum of one bottle of wine (equivalent) per week. That's ten units, which is entirely reasonable. For me, the key is to trade - if I have a beer, I don't have a glass of wine. Plus, I've started to read the labels on beer!

From the OP

she doesn't handle conflict at all well

😯

Might sound obvious, but don't drink during the week?

Just because a bottle of whiskey is in front of you, you don't have to drink it.

Choose squash / fruit juice instead.

Shows lack of self control, if anything.

she doesn't handle conflict at all well

Let me qualify this by saying that we have found ourselves at odds in the past over things completely unrelated to consumption and she is not a communicator in the same way as I am. No fault of hers, she is just a bit soft and withdraws from disputes, no matter who has the grievance.

prefer blunt to wishywashy

Always.

at a HUGE risk of turning into your dad

To be fair I could do a lot worse than turn out like my dad, he gave up everything about 20 years ago and has worked as a support worker for people with drugs and alcohol problems ever since. He is now the straightest person I know. I have talked to him about my concerns in the past and he has expressed great relief that I do not exhibit the same behaviour patterns as he did. This doesn't mean I don't have issues but I have taken some solace from it in the past as he knows me better than anyone.

I think the solution to this is that we meet up and get slightly drunk round Phil's

Agreed. Though, moderation in all things.

[img] [/img]

Shows lack of self control, if anything.

No shit.

i like the sound of your dad, if turning into him mean means giving up the drinking then its alllll gravy baby 😀

I think you can't see the can't see the forest from the trees (or whatever that saying is). That's not a put down and very easily done when alcohol has been quite a large part of your life, in one way or another. You don't have your old mans drinking problems. That's great but it sounds like you have your own one.
If I had your drinking habit (I did once) I would be concerned. You don't just judge the amount of units to how much physical damage you are doing. You don't know. Guessing is a bit blinked and very risky. The fact that you have to drink regularly is a problem, if not to you it is a problem to your partner, possibly other family members and friends too. It will be a problem to you whether you are aware of it or not. A good tester is to go some time without a drink. Three weeks is a start. That's long enough for the novelty to wear off, life's problems to occur and possible boredom to settle in. Why not just give up? It is only booze, there is more to life than a cheap hit of alcohol.

i like the sound of your dad, if turning into him mean means giving up the drinking then its alllll gravy baby

My dad is a good chap, but I saw what happened to him when he hit rock bottom and have vowed to myself never to get to that stage. The problem I have with it is that he never cured the problem (now he is addicted to pudding), he just diverted his attention away from more destructive behavioural traits.

I have pursued a course of moderation from which I can stray. Anyway, as I said, no drinking on school nights and no binging on the weekends.

When we going for a ride then you old tart/s?

Sunday?

will double check with mrsconsequence that i haven't been factored into plans i was unaware of for sat night into sunday. i reckon we could get her out on the bike as well which would give me an excuse to be slow and rubbish after a break from the bike 🙂

torm & yeti, FB message sent xx

If you're now looking forward to the school holidays then it really is a problem 😯

I kind of agree with what roper said, for what it's worth. It is difficult to look inwardly and make your own judgements. Thing is, unless we are unusually single-minded we all need a prop of some kind whether it be booze, fags, drugs, religion, exercise, eating, whatever. It's controlling that need and not being excessive or dependant that is important. Acute pancreatitis is the end result of my own previous drinking habits and is an effective reminder to abstain! Good luck.

The Alcohol Problem.

Society deems it acceptable and often encourages the consumption, think of the word "celebration" and what activity comes to mind. Champagne? a few beers? a bottle or two of wine?

Its all considered to be socially acceptable, "oh he's had a few" and other such jovial spurts.

For someone who uses alcohol to "switch off", "cope" or "release" to actually opt out the socially acceptable convention, and all the pleasure & pain that comes with it, immediately causes feelings of disconnection from society, from joyous participation, feelings of self guilt, weakness, angst and isolation often occur.

A common approach taken to find a resolution is substitution, for example:

"I'll find a new distraction"
"I'll do a spot of DIY"
"I'll do something creative"
"I'm going to improve myself through learning, I'll read more"
"I'll go to the gym more, I'll get fitter"

But if you think that a substitution activity alone is going to do the trick, then you're wrong.

You should give up drink, you have a problem with it, its not an easy thing to accept...

how could it be? after all, society says its fine to have a drink, why should you have a problem?

"down in one"

Alcohol is...

All drugs have their uses,

The Alcohol Drug is commonly used as a cleaning fluid or as a popular recreational drug.

It's a drug, pure and simple, its up there with speed, coke, heroin, crack or meth.

It's just regulated and taxed, and in many cases its considerably more harmful.
(you've probably seen this graph before?)

[img] [/img]
GLOSSARY
- Benzodiazepines: Wide-ranging class of prescription tranquilisers
- Buprenorphine: Opioid drug used in treatment of opiate addiction
- 4-MTA: Amphetamine derivative sold as 'flatliners' and ecstasy
- Methylphenidate: Amphetamine-like drug used to treat ADHD
- Alkyl nitrites: Stimulant often called amyl nitrites or 'poppers'

So its more harmful than many other drugs, its actually up there with Heroin and the other really life fuxking drugs.

So what's best?

Quit, just stop drinking... (yes, that simple)

It WILL be a torment,
you WILL crave it,
you WILL want it,
you WILL fancy "just one"

you WILL fail.

But failure is not final, it is very important to understand that.

[list]Don't judge yourself on your failings, rather judge yourself upon your continued resolve.[/list]

Its a tired old saying but its true: one day at a time for the rest of your life.

Alcohol takes more than it ever gives, it destroys people, it destroys families, it destroys lives.
It's only your choice, it is not an easy road to walk down, but you don't walk it alone.

From personal experience:

I got booze out of my life at the start of this year, I'm very pleased with it.
It is hell, I want to drink, I could every day, why?
Because I am in love with the Alcohol drug.
But the Alcohol drug is a dysfunctional selfish lover;
A lover that I no longer wish to share my life with now or anymore.

So what's it like?

Well being in a band means I am often in pubs, clubs, festivals, rehearsals, parties, etc and it was that aspect of my life that caused me to worry, it seemed like it would be so easy to fall off the wagon at any time. But as time has progressed, and the cost of booze has increased (to its now almost joy killing levels!) I've been pleasantly surprised at just how many people don't actually drink booze when they are out, shitloads! Yes its still there, always there, "can I get you a drink" or worse still when someone puts a full, ice cold pint in front of you. But **** it, I don't need booze, I don't need a substitute, It just takes balls and faith in yourself, that you can be better sober than you were drunk.

Its easy to live inside drink, it makes everything easier to ignore.

But its far more rewarding to have a great life, with the same kind of fun, but sober.

And as for how to do it? here's what I did:

Drank the house dry.
Quit drink.
Stayed in, watched a lot of DVD's, smoked pot.
Read a lot more, I objectively learnt about Faith & Religion, enjoyed a few novels.
Fell of the wagon, the next day I got back on.
Wrote music, songs and prepared for up coming gigs
Worked every day, Threw myself into it.
Suffered 3 subjugated ribs & agonizing back pain.
Built a couple of websites.
Did a spot of decorating.
Trolled a few websites.
Rode my bike.
Helped a friend out with some graphic design work.
Went shopping.
Played on the xbox.
Cooked nice food. (buy those tiny wine bottles for cooking)
Drank lots of Becks Blue.
Had the odd smoke now and then.
Have not yet quit the cigarettes.

But one thing, one day, at a time.

I hope that helps, keep busy and keep at it. good luck, whatever you choose to do. 🙂

Sort of related, few weeks ago my an my partner had a bit of a fight, whinging on here about it and in the thread someone mentioned perhaps our lifestyle wasn't the best. Well I took a step back and really looked at it all and I was definatley drinking too much. Cut right back now (and the fags) and feel loads better, and things are better with my gf too, we talk and stuff rather than hit the pubs and clubs. Its lovely if I'm honest. Saving loads of money as well!!

Why not try an old tested trick, buy something you need the drink cash for so you've a reason not to drink. By the time you've saved for your toy you'll have hopefully distanced yourself enough to stay away if that's what you want. I know someone who did this for smoking and got a loan and bought a speedboat with the cash he would have spent on smoking.

Not read the entire thread but why not give up for a bit?

If you think "I could, but I don't need to" then ask yourself: why not just do it? until you give in.

What a very honest post and attempt at self-appraisal! The general opinion seems to be that you are drinking too much but to me you seem to have a remarkably mature attitude to alcohol.

I remember reading Fergal Keane's autobiography in which he describes his first drink as a boy; he writes that it wasn't a surprising experience, it was, in his words, more like "Hello old friend, why have I waited so long to discover you?" Can you remember your first drink?

I also had a pal who died from liver failure at about 48, he didn't drink every day but when he did drink, he got slaughtered on beer and whiskey. He left a new wife and a son aged about four and a huge hole in the lives of very many people who knew and loved him; he was enormously charismatic and popular.

My advice would be to take medical advice and even consider making the break altogether, there are plenty of other ways of enjoying yourself. That can only happen when you reach the decision though.

I scared myself recently when I filled in one of those calorie / alcohol unit calculators in on the BBC website, after what I'd regarded as a pleasurable, but fairly moderate late afternoon & evening session - I certainly didn't have a think head in the morning. Turns out I'd consumed roughly 18 units of alcohol and 1200 calories. Now I've known for a while that I should be drinking less, as I'm overweight, but this was a bit of a shock. The strange thing with me is that if I have a cup of tea when I get in from work, I can happily ignore alcohol. I'm going down the no drinking on a school night, more exercise, and moderate weekends route myself as I think I have a habit rather than a problem.

Best of luck to you.

I've had a dry January so far - after a Bacchanalian December. I'd recommend it to my fellow boozers looking to re-equilibrate their drinking. Agree that going completely off the ale is similarly compulsive behaviour to when you're tanning it, but it does help to get some perspective IME.

The Government guidelines of 21 units per week or whatever it is were pulled out of someone's anus. They have no scientific or medical currency whatsoever. The questions to ask yourself about alcohol posted upthread are a better framework for thinking about your consumption.

As above, knock it on the head for a few weeks followed by an honest appraisal as to whether you're worrying about nothing or if there's a substantive problem. Me, I haven't had any booze for three years having had too much of a good thing. A few pains in the belly and pre-11am sips (OK as not on a work day 🙄 ) just to get myself going told me the game was up. The trick for stopping is to enjoy the initial high of not being poisoned and then to settle into the long straight (y'know, life!). The pub thing is still a bit weird and I haven't found a useful way of explaining why I don't drink, but I fumble through. That aside, booze is just of those things I don't do anymore along with many other indulgences of years gone by and other phases of life. Importantly, it's no biggy, I just don't do it. I get my kicks riding instead.