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poor, poor bearnecessities
🙁
I'm off for a Kentucky - it's what he would've wanted
Did it actually taste like a burger?
Honestly, it tasted like something that wasn't intended for human consumption. It tasted exactly how it looked.
Something very bad is happening in my tummy this morning.
Something very bad is happening in my tummy this morning.
Keep the can handy. You may be able to recycle with no discernable difference. 🙂
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Wondering how the OP is feeling now...
What part did he fail to follow the instructions? Spread cheese, toast all if which were done
The fact that other things were added just makes it what I imagine subway to be like
Bear, can I have your bike [s]when [/s] if you die
What part did he fail to follow the instructions?
By not putting it on toast.
what I imagine subway to be like
Delicious?
Bear, can I have your bike [s]when[/s] if you die
I doubt all the preservatives in the world could stop that being a when
The baguette was grilled and crispy, therefore making it bread in a state of being toasted. Let it go.
Feel free to compare with a slice of warburtons though please and post pictures 🙂
Thanks for concerns - I did feel quite squiffy this morning, but it's, er, 'passed'.
What utterly awful shit though; there's plenty of lips 'n' bums junk out there but at least they have the good grace to be adorned with spices etc to mask the truth - [b]that[/b] was just awful, lumpy, mechanically separated crap. Oddly enough, I was unable to find any mention of it on the Internet, which makes me a bit 😯
One for the Brexiters...
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Oh Christ, no.
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*assumes product was bought, and new thread is incoming*
Although, I am going to guess it looks exactly the same as the hamburger toast.
That'll be miles better, just a bit of tomato/cheese slurry that'll toast up a treat, no added dog food...
Do it proper with Warbies this time, 😉
#prayforBear..
Not a chance; someone else can volunteer to experience the pleasure!
I'll do it. Though can't get to an asda before Tuesday, so it will have to wait until then.
Burger pizza on toast anyone?
tomhoward - Member
I'll do it. Though can't get to an asda before Tuesday, so it will have to wait until then.
Burger pizza on toast anyone?
Tuesday? That gives you time to do it in a genuinely STW manner by buying a mobile pizza oven (if you don't already own one, which you should, obviously) and making burger toast on pizza toast pizza...
Pfft, if it's one thing I do very well, it's shit food.
There will be no pizza oven used. Simply a grill.
The will be no granary subs, only sliced white warbies
Salad? Roflcopters...
I shall follow the instructions to the letter.
I shall follow the instructions to the letter.
May I suggest several alcoholic beverages be consumed beforehand?
Good man, Tom!
Way to take one for the team.
Bear, what drop should one accompany this feast with?
A nice Malbec? A crisp Sauvignon blanc? Disc brake cleaner?
I found a mid-range Merlot did nothing to set off the burger toast flavours, but made me pissed enough to actually eat it.
So anything that clouds your judgement.
fill 'em up
What's that all about 🙂
Arse was in Asders this morning buying the mini Olympic doughnuts for work......forgot all about this new found wonder food,
There will be no pizza oven used. Simply a grill.
The will be no granary subs, only sliced white warbies
Salad? Roflcopters
thats so moving.. [sniff]
Bear, what drop should one accompany this feast with?A nice Malbec? A crisp Sauvignon blanc? Disc brake cleaner?
White Lightning or Fosters.
Bear, what drop should one accompany this feast with?A nice Malbec? A crisp Sauvignon blanc? Disc brake cleaner?
Special Brew or Buckfast.. 🙂
Right, seems I've been able to find myself in an Asda. this is the result.
[url= https://c8.staticflickr.com/9/8636/27581691903_ced6689066_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://c8.staticflickr.com/9/8636/27581691903_ced6689066_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/J2io58 ]What could go wrong?[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/123500482@N06/ ]tom howard[/url], on Flickr
No fancy bread, no salad. As instructed. This is my tea for the evening.
Also, against recommendation, I will be sober. I don't need booze to make bad decisions for the entertainment of others.
To follow on from Bears post, here's the ingredients list of Pizza Toast
[url= https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7510/27581693273_d6b8b2037f_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7510/27581693273_d6b8b2037f_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/J2iotK ]What could go wrong?[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/123500482@N06/ ]tom howard[/url], on Flickr
One notes the addition of 'mechanically separated chicken' over the Burger Toast. If there's one way I like my chicken, its having it torn apart by machines.
More to follow
Chicken on a pizza is always wrong. Why did they have to ruin it with that one ingredient? I bet it would be amazing without the chicken.
Double post
Why do they have to mechanically separate the chickens? Are they particularly vicious and only a machine can get involved in a cock fight and live to tell the tale??
Good luck young man, I salute your bravery and gung-ho spirit!
Chicken??? what sort of sick **** thought of that?
#ballstoBear
#prayforTom
Chicken? I was praying it was just going to be some cheese and tomato based awfulness, but mechanically seperated chicken? Pork Rind? .....least the main ingredient seems to be water.
#Pray4Tom
Ace!!
Mechanically separated chicken; you lucky bastard.
#ballstoBear indeed 😀
Go Tom!
[url= https://c3.staticflickr.com/8/7644/27917276850_9a0cf21b73_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://c3.staticflickr.com/8/7644/27917276850_9a0cf21b73_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/JwXkMu ]What could go wrong?[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/123500482@N06/ ]tom howard[/url], on Flickr
The brown one is the burger, slightly more red brown one is the pizza. burger smells of nothing, pizza smells a little of tomato (ketchup)
Hot toast, check.
Spread on, check.
[url= https://c7.staticflickr.com/8/7511/28164114526_0599a1148d_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://c7.staticflickr.com/8/7511/28164114526_0599a1148d_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/JULs2u ]What could go wrong?[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/123500482@N06/ ]tom howard[/url], on Flickr
Add cheese, check.
[url= https://c6.staticflickr.com/9/8764/28198094805_2c5bd21497_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://c6.staticflickr.com/9/8764/28198094805_2c5bd21497_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/JXLBbn ]What could go wrong?[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/123500482@N06/ ]tom howard[/url], on Flickr
Grill.
[url= https://c2.staticflickr.com/9/8663/28120603561_db08107c78_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://c2.staticflickr.com/9/8663/28120603561_db08107c78_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/JQVrJr ]What could go wrong?[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/123500482@N06/ ]tom howard[/url], on Flickr
Enjoy.
I started with the burger, to be honest the first thing I experienced was burning. Freshly grilled cheese slices are bloody hot... but I soldiered through. The next few bites were a little underwhelming to be honest, tastes like poor quality potted beef, a sort of underlying meaty, savoury (bordering on salty) taste. but no resemblance to a burger. 4/10.
Bear, I suspect that you may have sloshed a whole tin on yours? Not sure I'd fancy that as like you say, the texture is very much 'puree of cat food' which may dampen the gastronomic experience.
So, on to the new guy, pizza toast. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised, and will probably finish off the tin (probably not buy it again, mind) it's really not far off the case of the base sauce you get on cheaper frozen pizzas. couldn't taste the mechanically separated chicken though 🙁 was looking forward to that, maybe they missed my tin... 6.5/10
Now, i know what you are thinking. 'What does it taste like when you put the other halves of each slice together?'
Well, STW'ers, I have an answer for you!
It tastes like the above descriptions smashed together, no synergies, no 2+2=5, the result is the exact sum of its parts, resulting in this
[url= https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7742/28198073505_5168c54249_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7742/28198073505_5168c54249_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/JXLuR8 ]What could go wrong?[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/123500482@N06/ ]tom howard[/url], on Flickr
A special mention should also do to my good lady who, despite being told that she did not have to follow me in my poor diet choices, she stuck by my side and eaten everything I have.
So far bowels are fine, but I'm not too worried.
Err.... Beef,chicken an pork is there an animal they haven't managed to stuff in that can.,,
Bet it's some weird beef leftover as well 🙁
Err.... Beef,chicken an pork is there an animal they haven't managed to stuff in that can.,,
Meat feast, innit.
Also, against recommendation, I will be sober. I don't need booze to make bad decisions for the entertainment of others.
[b]WE[/b] need you to be drunk. It eases our conscience. Crikey I need to be a little drunk just to read this thread.
who, despite being told that she did not have to follow me in my poor diet choices, she stuck by my side and eaten everything I have.
On the up side at least you'll both be sterile so it'll save the recrimination
I feel like the the human race has de-evolved a little while I've been reading this thread.
It's like some STW version of a Japanese game show.. 😯
Respect, or maybe pity.. I'm not quite sure tbh..
Not understanding why there is so much "meat" in a box showing a cheese and tomato pizza 😆
Great work and kudos to Mrs Tom!
This however..
So far bowels are fine, but I'm not too worried.
..is naïve.
Brace yourself.
Not understanding why there is so much "meat"
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Anyone remember breakfast grill in rat packs? Possibly the most swapped item.
dirtyrider - Member
Not understanding why there is so much "meat" in a box showing a cheese and tomato pizza
It's a pepperoni pizza on the front isn't it?
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I think you left the plastic on.
I did think that too, I assure you, the plastic was removed!
Anyone remember breakfast grill in rat packs? Possibly the most swapped item.
They reckon smell is linked directly to memory. I challenge you now @murray not to have the smell of breakfast grill burnt into a mess tin over a Hexy block in your nostrils right now.
Add some cheese possesed and youve a mighty breakfast.
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That carpet got me thinking ... did you have dinner in the local care home?
Love that they are 'cheesy' slices not cheese slices, probably more plastic than dairy. Perfect for this experiment.
Tom I admire your no nonsense attitude to this.
How are the guts this morning?
Lol at space monkey . Quality stw threadage btw.
Morning all,
Sit rep. Guts feel reasonably okay, if not 100%. Sort of feel blocked and bloated, rather like I've taken a few too many Imodium tablets. No movements or evacuations so far.
Re the carpet situation.
Tell them it's a pub carpet, actually!
Ooohhh y'all are in trouble....
Haha, top thread guys 😀
Enjoyed from a distance! Thnks for sharing 😆
I think that's probably a formal serving suggestion: "best ..."Enjoyed from a distance!
It's a pepperoni pizza on the front isn't it?
Ah yer 😆
There are so many wrongs in this thread - as its STW it becomes a perverse, twisted right.
Still wouldn't catch me eating that though!
Rather be back on rat-packs....
Sit rep 2:
Despite a day of drinking craft beers, eating lots and generally moving around (inc a 500m roller race) I have not been able to poo in the last 24 hours, plenty of burp and fart though. Could be linked.
Interestingly, the couple of wees I had after consumption smelled a lot like hot dog brine (they don't normally)
Commencing operation poowatch, updates as they happen.
6 days and no update? You must be in agony
Haha, fo be honest I though everyone was bored of the thread! monday evening was the day of evacuation, bit looserer than normal after an initial push to open the traps, bit smellier too, but I've had worse.
The leftover toppings were binned...