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If we have a working lunch any leftovers are placed in the kitchen adjacent to the conference rooms for people to help themselves.
Do you :
A. Take one item leaving plenty for everyone.
B. Hoover up as much as you can and waddle out with a stack of sandwiches and a pork pie in each pocket.
Think carefully how you answer, because come The Revolution one lot of you will be up against the wall.
depends on the sandwich-curl quotient, but generally 4x sandwich corners (and not just the beef or ham, take a cheese bullet for the team) and a mouthful of salt and vinegar crisps.
I'll just stand around, sometimes hiding behind a pillar while i've got my mouth full until someone sees me eating, then i'll sheepishly grab a handful of cake and saunter out
I'm known as an eater, if I haven't already spotted them people come and tell me about them. On this basis, and to go with my proven pedigree, I pile in and smash a good few
Depriving others of pork pies is a very very dangerous game to be playing
c: somewhere in the middle.
c: somewhere in the middle.
I don’t have OCD about much but that’s triggered something in me!
a) Take one...
c) Somewhere in the middle
b) Hoover up...
Pile in and fill yer boots.
Evolution favours the bold.
There are 2 types of people when it comes to buffet leftovers...
The Fast and the Hungry.
Most people here just take all they want so if you're number 3 or 4 in line chances are all you'll get is a curled-up egg mayo sandwich. We have one guy that actually checks meeting times when he's sees a buffet has been ordered and pounces straight away. Being a tight-arsed company the buffet stuff we buy looks ropey even when it's fresh so I never bother unless I'm coincidentally making a cup of tea when it appears.
Playing devil's advocate,
It's leftovers. It's not food for the office, it's there so it doesn't go to waste. The more people take, the less goes in the bin.
It's a non-issue for me as there's rarely anything I can eat, but if that weren't the case I'd probably take something at the time and go back for seconds after everyone else has grazed. Seems fair to me.
Also......once you've gorged yourself on as much foraged grub as you can carry, you should wash it all down by drinking your own piss.
It's what Bear Grylls would do.
You need a chair and a bin between your legs. Assuming standard buffet triangles one bite is sufficient to consume 85% of the good stuff, crust gets dropped into the bin. Sausage rolls can and should be defended with a fork. If the buffet has been out a while, ignore the white bread and stick to the brown, it will be less stale.
That just reminded me - there was a meeting with buffet luch on in the office earlier today.
*heads off to see what's left*
EDIT: Disapponted to find nothing left from the meeting. Turns out the office "eater" was already in the meeting and scoffed the lot.
Added bonus to find birthday donuts in the kitchen area though! There's one less there now. 🙂
Sausage rolls
Sausage rolls? Where do you work?
<dusts off CV>
ahh the old bowl of crisps gamble, do you take a handful and stuff them straight into your mouth thinking you're getting S&V when you actually get a mouthful of beef! eugghhhh.
I see your sausage rolls and raise you chicken satay on sticks, samosas, spring rolls and pizza.
We're dead posh!
Jungle rules apply:
Eat as much as you can, as quickly as you can.
Guard the silver foil platters like they're your first born.
RM.
The real prize is the Chicken Pakora.
If it was in the late 90’s and you used to work in an open office with a 50/50 split of men and women, then the women would beat you with thier flailing elbows as they flock like flamingoes towards the “silver plate” leftovers.
The only remnants being the sandwiches that had been handled 42times, sneezed upon or half eaten.
We used to go for the unopened bags of crisps.
Every man for himself, this includes birthday cakes when passes from your co. to the office as a whole and left-over booze from the office party.
Whenever spare food finds itself in some hardcore socialist utopia it spoils whilst everyone has a two day workshop on how it should be fairly divided.
you actually get a mouthful of beef!
Fnarr fnarr!
If it's lunch leftovers it'll be second lunch for me, so I'll have a couple of sandwich triangles and one or two other bits.
If I've been in the meeting, there won't be leftovers. It's unacceptable when children are starving... etc.
I think I'd not be able to hang about and completely stuff myself. Would have a good handful though.
Where U sed to work, in case clients were still about the building, but not in the lunch room, there'd be a coded message over the Tannoy basically "free leftovers in boardroom" but it was not phrased like that obviously, didn't avoid the stampede though of underfed (and overfed) engineers..
Dive in, get your fill and get out. Yes, don't take the proverbial and just take the whole platter, but certainly don't be shy.
Smash the lot of it, in one mouth full, then stick two fingers up in the style of Vivian from the young ones.
There are 2 types of people when it comes to buffet leftovers…
The Fast and the Hungry.
Damn right! Last place I worked there were often left-overs after a client visit, and as the clients were mostly from major charities the buffet was usually a bit above average. I’d try to make sure I got a good helping before the locusts from other departments caught wind of free grub being available.
I eats all the strawberries and melon chunks
Each man or lady for themselves, fill your mouth/pockets/boots
After the announcement of free food usually no-one moves, everyone wants to go over and get some free food but no-one dare be up first at risk of being called greedy or someone shouting out 'hah, I knew you'd be first up there fatty' so you rally your troops and get together with at least 2 other like minded individuals from your team and saunter over.
and There is ALWAYS a grated cheese sandwich on brown bread which has forlornly fallen open and spread it's contents all the over rest of the platter.
it's all fair game - especially the cheese and crackers. noms.
it's surprising that no-one eats the cheese in the meeting but EVERYONE wants it afterwards.
And don't forget to work from the top down - don't settle for an egg mayo sandwich when there is still coronation chicken to be had. Don't take an individual broccoli quiche when there are still mini scotch eggs or chicken tikka skewers on the platter.
Pah, amateurs.
Being known as the office eater, the buffet leftovers are delivered to me at my desk by whoever was at the meeting and people are told its there and they can have some if they ask nicely.
Crisps - there's a working lunch presentation conundrum. Are they as loud to everyone else as they are inside my head?
If you have an leftovers after a working lunch then you need to change your buffet supplier to a tastier one.
Drj, Do you chew with your mouth open?
Being known as the office eater, the buffet leftovers are delivered to me at my desk
At pretty much every company I've ever worked for, the IT department has been the food disposal department. Nerds might not have any social skills but by christ can they eat.
At pretty much every company I’ve ever worked for, the IT department has been the food disposal department. Nerds might not have any social skills but by christ can they eat.
It's the novelty value, unless they're still living with their mums all they eat at home are Cheerios and pizza.
I had this dilemma today. My packed lunch normally consists of 2 sandwiches and a bag of crisps or something. Today i had three 1/4s of sandwiches and a bit of salad (didn't want to dive straight in to gluttony) and was debating going for seconds.....once everyone had been up I made my return, purely to avoid any waste you understand.
Eat as much as you can until you are full and then have two more sandwiches. Finally lie under the table like a stuffed python.
https://www.seeker.com/python-dies-after-eating-huge-porcupine-1769979758.html
working lunch buffet
A what?
Is that the same as cramming haribo down your throat on the way to your next call?
My M/O is either to enter the room making vulture noises and flapping my arms whilst circling the table (this way it’s clear what my intentions are) or just pile in and take the whole platter back to the office to ‘make sure the caretakers get some’. No-one has yet challenged me on either tactic.
Now this is a proper STW thread.
And fortune favours the fast.
Hoover away but beware the egg mayonnaise sandwiches if they've been sat out of the fridge a while😮
In one legendary incident at our place the meeting was running late, so lunch wasn't retrieved from the kitchen quickly enough. When the directors came out to get it they were greeted by the sight of a couple of engineers polishing the lot off.
I have an aversion to wasting food. So rather than it going to waste I'd pack it up and take it home. But if I thought other's could benefit I'd only eat a modest amount and leave plenty to share. Generally I try not to over eat or drink, the fact that it's free has little impact on my consumption .
My fave at the moment is curried potato skewers- very unhealthy but very yum!
I cycle or run to work everyday so I am allowed to eat like a pig.
But I am a catering manager and by the time the food is served I am already full up.
If I am not first to the buffet then I don't bother. I don't want to eat food that the scruffy oiks I work with have been pawing over.
Am I the first to quote CTBM and say ''don't be a d1ck" and share with everyone else rather than greedily eat everything?
A what?
Is that the same as cramming haribo down your throat on the way to your next call?
I thought you were in management now, so had to endure the all day meeting...
We have two individuals at our place ,Helen & Kevin. They fight each other to be first in the line for any free food. Helen has been known to bring Tupperware in and pack the food away. Kev cycles in to work,but only on cycle to work week , just for the free breakfast.ha.
You snooze, you lose. Ram sandwiches in your face, hamster style.
Yes I am Poly but in the public sector so buffets don’t exist.
Approach it as if you were a seagull swooping in on a discarded chip - with all the lack of decorum and social norms associated with that - including loud squawking if anyone else tries to barge in before you’ve finished.
Being the person (consultant) who the buffet is normally for i had assumed that left overs are binned,.....
I never knew that they got left out for the unwashed....
I will lick all the sandwiches in future...
And spit in the fresh orange juice....
Where I work there was a woman who'd hoover up/nick all the leftovers. Long after she retired she'd still turn up, complete with an empty shopping bag to grab a take-away
Get in there quick, air conditioning means any sarnies on the edge of the stack the bread dries out and goes hard.
Maximise protein based stuff is my method, oh and fruit
Firkin a.
including loud squawking if anyone else tries to barge in before you’ve finished.
Sausage rolls? Where do you work?
<dusts off CV>
I used to work at a conferencing centre. I was exceptionally good at up-selling to hot buffet. Fewer leftovers but a better quality free lunch.
Yes I am Poly but in the public sector so buffets don’t exist.
Most of our custom was public sector.
The frequency with which we'd get two different people booking the same conference was eye-watering as a tax payer. Sometimes the name of the conference would be identical so we would pick it up and point out the error. Sometimes we would host a conference for training purposes and it would turn out to be a leaving party for someone, at tax payer's expense. Colossal levels of waste. Unlike the buffet. Nom nom.
If you're not in before the office-wide announcement is made, there is little point - invariably only a half-bowl of sweaty ready-salted remains, and probably a bunch of red seeded grapes (what sort of monster serves those up?!?).
Sensing meeting leftovers is akin to the feeling when your toddler in the next room goes suspiciously quiet - sort of an eery quiet that gets your lizard-brain jangling.
There are only ever cans of Pepsi Max or Diet Coke left after big meetings at our place. Right bunch of greedy bastards.
At a previous employer, a colleague was known as Cathy, the Buffet Slayer.
There were slim pickings after her visit to the left over buffets.
At a previous employer, a colleague was known as Cathy, the Buffet Slayer.
Surely should have been Vampire, the Buffet Slayer?
Woah WOAH - back up 20 hours.
Am I the first to quote CTBM and say ”don’t be a d1ck” and share with everyone else rather than greedily eat everything?
I always thought that Ed Hornby on here was my brother. Turns out that can't be correct as <span style="text-decoration: underline;">my</span> brother, when we were younger, would have ripped your arm out of it's socket to get the last buffet sandwich from your hand. He, (ahem, we) used to measure cake slices to make sure there was no short changing going on.
"I've licked that now - it must be mine"
"Tough shit Our Ed, it may have a bit of spit on it, but it's bigger!"
for a work buffet yeah - for social or family I'd be sliding across the table like a cowboy in a saloon fight, shovelling with an expertly grabbed serving spoon 😀
UPDATE!!!
Minted.
Lamb.
Sandwiches.
The buffet equivalent of coke n hookers. We must be really trying to impress this lot.
Oh. Yes. They are just a little awesome.
Does anyone else carry/wear a racing spoon? 😳
This thread has made me LOL so much!
Always remember free food has no calories or fat in it. That helps with any decision making.
Most people in my office are healthy eaters so I’m on that platter of left overs like a tramp on a bag of chips. Go for the meat every time, if the bread curls then take off half the bread and combine 2 sandwiches. Rare to see culinary delights like scotch eggs or chicken bits left over so pounce on them like you haven’t eaten for a week if they are there.
If the other people cared they’d get there before you!
Everyone in our team is a runner or health freak and in our last team meeting there was only fruit and sugar free wafer biscuits available.
I had to hide my tears 😭
In one legendary incident at our place the meeting was running late, so lunch wasn’t retrieved from the kitchen quickly enough. When the directors came out to get it they were greeted by the sight of a couple of engineers polishing the lot off.
Birthday tradition at ours was to get a load of cakes, put them in the canteen and then send an email saying 'it's my birthday and there's some cakes in the kitchen'
Certain individuals had some sort of jungle telegraph going where unless you ran back to your office and typed the email at full on 70's typing pool speed, they'd have the word around and a flock of gannets would be tucked in before most people were even aware of the treats, let alone got to them.
So one day for giggles i bought some cakes, left them on the side, wandered leisurely like back to my office and typed 'It's my daughter's birthday today and I've bought some cakes for her party with her friends and left them in the kitchen - please don't eat them!' Waited a couple of minutes and then hit send.
There were some half finished packs of cakes and a few guilty faces around that day, until I owned up.
But if I thought other’s could benefit I’d only eat a modest amount and leave plenty to share.
Hes not one of us. Burn him!
Its all about "B" - Thankfully i sit quite close to our main boardroom so get fist pass on the leftovers.
if the bread curls then take off half the bread and combine 2 sandwiches.
That's Steven Hawking levels of genius right there. But I'd eat the 2 sided curly sandwich with no filling as well.
<div class="bbp-reply-content">
<span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">Birthday tradition at ours was to get a load of cakes, put them in the canteen and then send an email saying ‘it’s my birthday and there’s some cakes in the kitchen’ </span>
<span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">Certain individuals had some sort of jungle telegraph going where unless you ran back to your office and typed the email at full on 70’s typing pool speed, they’d have the word around and a flock of gannets would be tucked in before most people were even aware of the treats, let alone got to them. </span>
<span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">So one day for giggles i bought some cakes, left them on the side, wandered leisurely like back to my office and typed ‘It’s my daughter’s birthday today and I’ve bought some cakes for her party with her friends and left them in the kitchen – please don’t eat them!’ Waited a couple of minutes and then hit send.</span>
There were some half finished packs of cakes and a few guilty faces around that day, until I owned up.
Fantastic. I shall be trying that next time 😀
</div>
If its the leftovers in a rom on my CC I'm filling my pockets before leaving. Crips, cans rolls the lot.
If its the leftovers in a rom on my CC
Does anyone here know brassneck - seems to have advanced to critical level vol-au-vent poisoning. Pop round and administer quinoa enema
STAT !!