[Closed] Kissing your children on the lips

I kiss my 5yo daughter on the lips. Seems totally natural to me and I'm amazed anyone considers it otherwise.

I guess I am hoping she'll naturally grow out of it (which is what I would prefer) but what if she doesn't?

But she will, do you think when she's 15 she'll still want to kiss her dad? Highly unlikely she'll want to speak to you let alone display affection 🙂

I don't see an issue here.

Eldest is 7, younger is 4. Both kiss me on the lips.

Don't see anything wrong with it myself. Just a simple expression of love.

I draw the line at tongues though.

I accidently kissed my mother in law on the lips at the weekend - now that is definitely an issue!

With kids, we've always kept it no lips, I guess pre-empting the issue arising as they grow older. We have had conversations a few times about it, explaining the difference between kisses on cheek and lips. They seem to get it, so a non-issue really.

This is news? WTF is wrong with people. I kiss my son on the lips, he's well cute and cuddly. Very affectionate and extremely confident too. He's three and I'm getting all the kisses and cuddles I can before he disowns me in his teens

But she will, do you think when she's 15

Yep. Own children only. No tongues.

Great big snog - yeah a bit wrong.

Quick peck on the lips fine - my 14yr old daughter still does it before she goes off to school.

is there an age where it is no longer acceptable?

When the kid no longer does it, its a natural thing, it'll stop at the right time.

With kids, we've always kept it no lips, I guess pre-empting the issue arising as they grow older

You've never kissed your own kids on the lips? That's a bit weird. What issues were you per-empting?

Why would you want to stop her kissing you?
She may think she has done something wrong.
She may well stop of her own accord.
She may not, you may be very lucky & get kisses from your daughter your whole life.
Chill out my friend.
I'd be more concerned about your other daughter not hugging / kissing enough, but suspect it's a twin/sibling reaction thing?
I hope all 3 of my children hug/kiss me for a long long time.

is there an age where it is no longer acceptable?

I kiss my mum and dad on the lips, I'm 43.

My daughter is 7 now, i am happy to give her a kiss on the lips, most of the time she will kiss me on the cheek, i don't think there is anything odd about it, it is a father and young daughter being affectionate. I think of all the kids in the world who are abused or not-loved and i think that showing me daughter she is loved is how i want her to be brought up, she still sits on my lap watching TV to and asks for a "snuggle".

I grew up with a father who beat ten bales of turd out of me and stunk of whisky, i know which father i'd rather be.

My sister in law criticises the fact that at 7 she still occasionally sucks her thumb and actively smacks her childrens hands away from her kids mouths, but if it still provides comfort to my daughter (who is T1 diabetic and extremely brave about the finger pricks, pump changes and injections) then why not.

Why would you want to stop her kissing you?

it is the concern about the perception from others

It's none of their business

I guess I should just stop worrying

Yep

It's none of their business

although I did get a flaming from some on here when I mentioned that I joined my girls in a shower after swimming lessons (when they were 6 IIRC).

That's a bit different to a kiss on the lips!

i dont care..... a non issue imo.

That's a bit different to a kiss on the lips!

His daughters saw him naked. Big effing deal.

The wife and I still walk around naked when we get up in a morning and when we go to bed!

Wish my son would just give me a hug occassionally!

I kiss my mum on the lips - I'm 53 and she was 78 yesterday. Happy birfdee Ma!
<3 <3

This is true - although I did get a flaming from some on here when I mentioned that I joined my girls in a shower after swimming lessons (when they were 6 IIRC).

As above my daughter is T1 diabetic, i had an old woman start shouting at me in the pool about abusing my daughter and reported me to the manager of the sports centre due to the needle marks on her bum from injections in her swimsuit, i ended showing them her kit and the old bag didn't even think to apologise for what was very traumatic for my daughter.

I did get a flaming from some on here when I mentioned that I joined my girls in a shower after swimming lessons (when they were 6 IIRC).

Some people are very uptight - especially when it comes to kids and parenting.
(speaking as someone who was falsely [url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/so-ive-been-reported-to-social-services ]reported to social services[/url] 😆 ).

Nothing wrong with either kissing your kids or them seeing your bits IMO.

Surely it fosters far healthier attitudes to affection and body image than being emotionally undemonstrative and treating bodies as something shameful.

His daughters saw him naked. Big effing deal.

I didn't suggest it was a big deal. But it's very different to a discussion on your child kissing you on the lips.

That's a bit different to a kiss on the lips!

His daughters saw him naked. Big effing deal.

See - it is all a very divisive issue.

Nothing wrong with either kissing your kids or them seeing your bits IMO.

Surely it fosters far healthier attitudes to affection and body image than being emotionally undemonstrative and treating bodies as something shameful.

Indeed

I guess there is a cut off point that comes at a certain age (probably somewhere in the teenage years i'm guessing) where kids don't want to be fussed over by parents, but my daughter, whatever age, will always be my daughter and i'll still try and give her a hug when she's 40, it's only weird if you make it that way or the intention is off.

A kiss and a hug are one of the most intimate things you can give a person, and what is more intimate than a parent / child relationship?

I hope I still can hug and kiss my son when he is older, I certainly encourage it now and he is 7.

What are these people actually complaining about? Is it that they don't like to see other people kissing or do they think the kiss is somehow a precursor to a more explicit and illegal activity? How do you get so morally shrivelled that this becomes a thing for you?
Either way some journalists really need to get out of the office and do their job properly instead of social media cut and paste.

My kids have grown up in a house full of love and confidence building. Still tell my 12 yr old son and 15 year old daughter I love them, they look cool, you're beautiful etc. They get so much shit from social media and other such bollox about how they should be. Still get a kiss off both of them as and when. Final thing, tbey both seem happy which will do me!

My smallest one (7) still climbs on my knee puckering up for a kiss, so he gets one. The middle one (10) likes a hug and doesn't mind a kiss on the top of his head - two years ago he refused either. The big one (16) neither gets or I imagine would want a kiss on the lips but she'll still come and sit on my knee or cuddle up on the sofa if she wants to talk about something or watch TV with us. Same with their mum. Kids need affection and I take the view that they can have as much as they want, but it's also on their terms/what they're comfortable with which I think is important as well.

mine are 13 and 11; I don't know why but I do feel slightly uncomfortable about it with my older daughter who "isn't a child" any longer. I still give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead or cheek as greeting / bedtime / just because I love her but on the mouth seems a bit wierd (although I happily kiss my mum wherever it happens to land). Like I say i don't really know why it feels uncomfortable and in fact i feel uncomfortable that it feels uncomfortable, but it's the natural development now.

My youngest is 11 and a different person, she still wants a kiss on the lips* and gets it (although at bedtime I usually try to dummy it and go in for a raspberry on the neck instead, leading to a wrestling match and raspberry blowing being administered to almost any visible bit of skin)

* not this morning as i dropped her at the corner to meet her friends to walk the mile to secondary school for their orientation day. She didn't even want eye contact then as I'm apparently too embarrassing. Kids - strange.

Me earlier (actually who am i kidding. This man is my aspiration, to hit those levels of embarrassing)

I still give my boys a quick squeeze on the bum when we hug* and they're all in their 20's

* This maybe because they have to bend down so much to hug their stocky little munchkin of a father so I have to get my own back somehow

My boys are five and six. I love the natural affection that we share; I'm dreading the day when they no longer want to hold my hand when out for a walk or on the way to school. Can't be too long now 😥

I kiss my mum and dad on the lips, I'm 43.

The trouble starts when they wake up half way through and you have to explain why you're in their room.

I don't get it, it's a kiss on the lips not tongues.

That's a bit different to a kiss on the lips!

Yes but it's also not an issue.

Yes but it's also not an issue.

This. I'm not even sure how you could function without showering with kids under 6 a fair bit. Swiming pools, campsites. The need to closely supervise them and both of you wash makes it pretty much the only practical way.

Yep. Own children only. No tongues.

Just don't end up like the Donald 😉
[b]"I've said if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her." “Don’t you think my daughter’s hot? She’s hot, right?”[/b] 😯

Yes but it's also not an issue.

I didn't say it was. It's amazing how easily people want to jump to conclusions.

Our son is 19, he still gets a kiss and a hug when I'm off to bed or we're going away for a few days.

Reading the "article", it sounds like it's something that (some) Americans get upset about, so not really a thing for normal people to worry about.

😉

I accidently kissed my mother in law on the lips at the weekend - now that is definitely an issue!

Depends. Pictures?

I did get a flaming from some on here when I mentioned that I joined my girls in a shower after swimming lessons (when they were 6 IIRC).

The people doing the flaming are the ones with the problem of course.

[i]This maybe because they have to bend down so much to hug their stocky little munchkin of a father [/i]

That made I 😆

[i]Just don't end up like the Donald[/i]

Would have to marry our call-girl first 😉

Pleased to see you've been liberated over the past two years Drac

Drac - Moderator

Nipping into the bathroom at home from the bedroom naked is one thing, standing with your tally wackle hanging out whilst you wash there hair is whole different thing.

Drac - Moderator

I don't get it, it's a kiss on the lips not tongues.

That's a bit different to a kiss on the lips!

Yes but it's also not an issue.

You dug up something Drac said [i]2 years ago[/i]?

Yes people can change their opinions, probably a difficult concept for yourself.

You dug up something Drac said 2 years ago?

Very odd isn't it.

Yes people can change their opinions, probably a difficult concept for yourself.

Why would it be a difficult concept for me?

Very odd isn't it.

Not really, it's the thread the op was referring to.

Not really, it's the thread the op was referring to.

So you decided to hunt down my comment out of that thread?

Why would it be a difficult concept for me?

As I've seen you many times bone pick people, well me for one, and it's tedious.

not worth a response really

pot/kettle.

Come on guys, kiss and make up. On the cheek will be fine.

What a bizarre thread.

Come on guys, kiss and make up. On the cheek will be fine.

Not in the shower though.

although I did get a flaming from some on here when I mentioned that I joined my girls in a shower after swimming lesson (when they were 6 IIRC).

I hope to never stop showing affection to my son and daughter by hugging them. I kiss my daughter on the cheek or head. But I would never kiss her on the lips. She's 21 and would be appalled if I tried. But this thread shows that there are very different cultural norms, even within the same country.

These days, I generally avoid kissing anyone but my partner on the lips.

I'm happy to kiss, embrace & hug [almost] anyone, but try and restrict kissing to a peck on the cheek. Personal boundaries and and all that.

I did use to kiss my daughter on the lips though when she was young. I can't remember exactly when it stopped but it was 'pre-teen' era I think. It was never made an issue of and we still hug now and she's in her mid twenties! I hope she felt she grew up with lots of love & affection.

My understanding is the origins of kissing come from 'mouth feeding' and like breast feeding, these things have existed as a form of 'intimacy' between a parent & child forever and are part of the bonding and nurturing process. Sadly it is only in recent times that some societies have become hung up about them.

My daughter is a teacher in Spain now and she commented on the difference between UK and Spain in term of being tactile and embracing between parent, child and teacher etc.

We are in danger of losing something quite important I think, that should really be a non issue: Like being in 'the nuddy' around your kids when they are growing up, they may/will generally let you know when they are no longer comfortable with it in their own way.

My daughter is a teacher in Spain now and she commented on the difference between UK and Spain in term of being tactile and embracing between parent, child and teacher etc.

I do really feel for early years teachers who have young kids crying after falling over/missing mum/whatever, and they are "not allowed" to offer them a simple reassuring cuddle to fix it.

I do really feel for early years teachers who have young kids crying after falling over/missing mum/whatever, and they are "not allowed" to offer them a simple reassuring cuddle to fix it

On a tangent slightly but it does remind me of *some* kids who have gone through the 'Public School System' and grow up emotionally detached.

Kids need love and affection. The days of just breeding male heirs to one's estate are hopefully coming to a close.

Iirc wasn't there also some accidental slappage with a swinging appendage?

Two years on they are able to shower themselves properly and have been freed from the fear of slapping tallywhackers.

I do really feel for early years teachers who have young kids crying after falling over/missing mum/whatever, and they are "not allowed" to offer them a simple reassuring cuddle to fix it.

My son's teachers would hug the kids - not sure at what age that went on to.

I wonder about naked but think kissing my son on the lips odd - have never kissed a bloke in that way. Never kissed my sister on the lips either - maybe I'll try that next time I see her and get some to record the results.

fear of slapping tallywhackers

Bet you the fear still exists even if the risk has reduced 😀

accidental slappage with a swinging appendage

#humblebrag

Never kissed my sister on the lips either - maybe I'll try that next time I see her and get some to record the results.

You're going to kiss your sister and then 'get some'?

I thought East Anglia had modernised but clearly not......

My lad is almost 4 and I still kiss him on the lips, don't really see the big deal. I also have the occasional bath with him and his current favourite game is having a wee in the same toilet to see who can do the most-one day he'll understand my joke about not crossing streams.

I feel I have a better relationship with him than with my own dad, who I would never think of as being a loving parent, despite being a great dad.

Perverts the lot of you! A firm handshake and limited conversation is all a Northern child requires.

Didn't do me any harm..... unless you listen to my missus and she will explian what a cold, non empathy driven b*****d i am with a swinging brick for a heart. I believe these are fine qualities for navigating life.

I kiss my daughter on the lips a couple of times a day, she's three though so occasionally it's nose, chin.

At some point it'll become awkward so we'll stop, people who think it's sexual though are ****ing odd.

Like being in 'the nuddy' around your kids when they are growing up, they may/will generally let you know when they are no longer comfortable with it in their own way.

I have no recollection of this, but my mum tells me that the day she stopped getting dressed in front of me was the day I asked her why she had two tummies.

My lad is almost 4 and I still kiss him on the lips, don't really see the big deal. I also have the occasional bath with him

Mines four in Feb and we still have baths together occasionally. He loves it. My father was a dick and I don't recall him ever showing affection either. "Big cuddle me" is a regular request from Funk Jr. He does wipe his mouth sometimes after I've kissed him though 🙁

Lol at Cougars comment

With kids,[s] we've always kept it no lips, I guess pre-empting the issue arising as they grow older. We have had conversations a few times about it, explaining the difference between kisses on cheek and lips. They seem to get it, so [/s]a non-issue really.

People really need to get a grip.

It's kissing your own kids we are talking about.

Not some random kids in the park 🙄

It's kissing your own kids we are talking about.

I wouldn't kiss my eldest son on the lips, that's for sure. 😉

I do really feel for early years teachers who have young kids crying after falling over/missing mum/whatever, and they are "not allowed" to offer them a simple reassuring cuddle to fix it

Same with some children in care. Thanks to the paedos, now some kids in care can go through their entire youth without so much as a cuddle from someone to let them know they are loved.

My son's teachers would hug the kids - not sure at what age that went on to.

I wonder about naked

Maybe a word with the headteacher would clear up the doubts ?