 You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more
So... We've got new neighbours. They've got a dog. I hate dogs. They're stupid, filthy animals. But this one seems particularly stupid, as it seeks to announce it stupidity through relentless barking.
This has coincided with me working from home. Typical. While its owners are out during the day, it never bloody shuts up.
So, obviously, it has to die.
After extensive research, I've found what I consider to be the definitive suggestion from a cat. They'd know about this type of thing. They hate dogs. Jus like me. The cat in question, was on an old animated documentary I saw. He achieved this after briefly pausing in his constant pursuit of a particularly mischievous, but charismatic mouse, and attempted to get rid of the dog (a bulldog IIRC) in a particularly clever manner.
It involved luring the creature outside with a string of sausages (already got plenty of these in the house - bonus!), whereupon on taking the bait, the dog was subjected, via an elaborate system of trips, pullies and platforms to his certain demise, resulting in an anvil landing on the his head. Goodnight vienna noisy annoying pooch!
This seemed initially foolproof to me. Inspired, yet obvious, thinking about it. But on the documentary, instead of instant death, the dog experienced a period of concussion, marked by revolving pink elephants around its head, an instantly developed exaggerated lump, a bit like an egg, but throbbing, but somehow inexplicably survived. Then got really really angry. REALLY angry
I'm quite concerned about this eventuality. I need instant guaranteed death, without running the risk of being chased round the garden by an angry dog, and somehow ending up getting hit of the head with a frying pan (I'm still trying to work out the link there)
Does anybody have any suggestions.... ?