[Closed] Killing a pot plant on purpose - best way

Boiling water?

Just weedkiller, untraceable.

Is she green fingered? Presumably you don't want to get busted?

https://www.rhs.org.uk/advice/profile?PID=462

So just pour the weedkiller in ? Will it not stink the place up ?

Pee in it

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

Salt? Sprinkle it on and water it in.

Proper spit on keyboard lol there Quirrel

Hammer some copper nails into the trunk, or cut a ring of bark about an inch wide all the way round....

Cut the branches overhanging your desk. Make sure you throw them back over to his/her side of the desk though.

Give it to me?
There's a reason all our plant are either plastic or dead...

DrP

Bury it underground

Trebuchet

aggressive symbolic pot plant

Upon discovery that docking their stingers renders them harmless, docked triffids soon become fashionable in public and private gardens. As it takes triffids two years to fully regrow their stings, captive triffids are safe if pruned annually.

Above the base are upturned leafless sticks which the triffid drums against its stem. The exact purpose of this is not fully explained in The Day of the Triffids; it is originally assumed that they are used to attract mates, but Bill Masen's colleague, Walter Lucknor, believes that they are employed for communication. It is revealed that removal of these sticks causes the triffid to physically deteriorate.

Pour aftershave on it, that's what my mother did with my pot plant. :/

Salt is the answer.

Fry it with a table lamp.

I'd have thought boiling water would do it and would be pretty much undetectable.

Roundup. Will take a tiny dab to kill a pot plant.

Have a pet slug in the office

Let it read the religion threads on here. It'll lose the will to live.

@perchy 🙂 but will it go to heaven ?

In the novel 'In The Lake in The Woods' by Tim O'Brian John kills all the houseplants with a kettle of boiling water FWIW. Not a bad read, actually.

Roundup. Will take a tiny dab to kill a pot plant.

We used Roundup on a vigorous patch of nettles. It may well kill them eventually but may well take it's sweet time about it. A week after a proper dousing they're looking a bit peaky but hardly terminal...

[img] [/img]

Smoke it

Not sure if salt is the answer tbh , ive tried salt on the patio ' and not just a sprinkling either , did bugger all to the weeds that keep coming through .

How about domestos .

Please tell me you're not really going to kill your colleague's pot plant while they're out of the office?

We used to poison our maths teachers plant at school with ink.

We were trying to get the flowers to turn different colours one year and went a bit far- it died!

(Not sure if ink is the best option but there is a strong STW tradition of only suggesting things you have experience of!)

As above, roundup.

Diesel - but it will stink

We used to poison our maths teachers plant at school with ink.
We were trying to get the flowers to turn different colours one year and went a bit far- it died!

We used Roundup on a vigorous patch of nettles. It may well kill them eventually but may well take it's sweet time about it. A week after a proper dousing they're looking a bit peaky but hardly terminal...

Nettles have an underground part (rhizomes) that can spread for metres. You need to dig that out if you want permanently rid.

hurl it out the window, be a man and own up to doing it with a well timed "come at me bro'"

be a man

mondays a bit quick for that. but you might be able to get a stick on moustache?

Build a Lego wall.

Weedkiller is all well and good, but the suggestions above are far too quick and will arouse suspicion.

Two options I'd suggest are a) lift and snip the roots or b) spray with rosate, where the plant looks totally normal for 3 weeks, then will suddenly and quite dramatically die, many weeks after the crime was committed.

Trebuchet is clearly the best option here.

Let Mrs M look after it, she's a more powerful defoliant than Agent Orange.....

salt water

[img] [/img]

Napalm. Has to be.

Can you not just give it one of your famous withering looks?

What you want is a small plague of locusts, buy 100 or so from the local pet shop and release these in the office from a Tupperware container while no one's looking, they'll eat everything edible within a 10 meter radius. When your pot plant loving colleague asks what has happened to their plant tell him/her it was Gods will.

Honestly, I feel sorry for your colleague 😕

How old are you ? 17 ?

Vandal

Or place some rocks of crack under the soily bit inside the pot, then ring HR (put on a false voice so they don't know it's you) telling them your colleague has a drug problem and an intervention is necessary as you've seen them sprinkling crack grains on their cornflakes in the kitchen.

The next day your colleague will be confronted about their drug problem, obviously they come out of the meeting upset, or ranting and raving about that the allegations are false, at that moment try to comfort them anyway you can (don't touch them in an inappropriate place though) and tell them "of course the allegations are false" while accidentally knocking their plant off the desk onto the floor, pick the plant up from its plant trunk revealing the crack rocks in the pot! shout "of my god its true look everybody crack!"

I think after that they won't be allowed to have plants on their desk.

Give it to me, I seem to have lost my green fingers.

Is there any tall buildings opposite? Hire a sniper.

Pot plant?
Smoke it.

[img] [/img]

How bad is it in your office that you want to kill a pot plant to get back at a co worker.

Hels, if you pull this off with the plant can you come and sort out my neighbour's shit-machine of a cat?

Kill it softly, with your song.

BoardinBob - Member

Honestly, I feel sorry for your colleague

So do I. Not specifically because of this, though.

Her colleague is probably sick of all the Le Mans moto gp chat and pictures of her sitting on the wee mans broom broom.

Na, I reckon he's dared to park his camper van in a public car park in Peebles.... 😆

ridiculous ugly and downright (doesn't bother with the passive bit anymore) aggressive symbolic pot plant

[img] ~c200[/img]

Plant a small Leylandii hedge between desks whilst he's off.

You'll never see him again.

So, what happened?

Warm salty (how you choose to [s]produce[/s] get this is entirely [i]your[/i] business) water is the right answer.

So, for the record folks - I didn't kill my colleague's pot plant. It was idle musing, and very entertaining. I feel much better !

Reports for trolling