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If you knew what you know now would you have had them?
Absolutely yes! I love my kids.
9&7 btw. The next few years may test me...
made me a better man undoubtedly first 6 months were touch and go though !
We have 5 of the buggers and will be entering grandparent territory next year, have caused some grief in the past and probably will do in the future but wouldn't be without them... parents on the other hand 😉
If you knew what you know now would you have had them?
No. The police were not understanding at all, and the parents had no chill.
Different angle as I didn't have kids but knowing what I know now I still think that was the right decision for me.
Nope. Regretted it from first few months and didn't get any better over last 24 years.
If I had the time again I would stick to cats and dogs.
I don't know. I often feel that I'm one of those people better suited to a solitary life rather than the chaos and stress of family life. But obviously now I have them and know them I wouldn't want to be without them. Maybe it depends if you go back in time with or without your memories of the present?
yes .. there is light at the end of the tunnel. And finally they do actually sleep through the night ! And a lot less worrying.
Started late and wish I'd started sooner...
Absolutely yes! I love my kids
+1 The hardest but most rewarding job ever.
Yes, although the stress levels can be through the roof, I guess I'm lucky in that I've never had a seconds doubt.
yes, I worry about what the future will bring them, but I guess that's probably what every parent has said.
Yes and I would have started earlier and had 2
If you don't have kids, then who is going to look after you in your old age?
My missus was pretty clear from the outset she was going to have kids so if I wanted her then they came as part or the deal.
Wasn't at all sure at first but wouldn't change it for the world now, can't remember the last time I was actually bored, never a dull moment.
Yes, but.... for me I'm glad I did it when I did at 32, some of my mates are only getting going in their 40's/ Glad I now have the efficiency of having twins, would [u]never[/u] have any more. Love them, but looking forward to them gaining more independence, so I get mine back before I'm an old git, ultimately they should have left for uni when I'm 50.. There are elements that I will miss terribly when they are too old, like reading bedtime stories, I have done it almost every night for 9 years now and one day it will end and that will make me sad.
If you don't have kids, then who is going to look after you in your old age?
Android wives.
I have 2 stepdaughters (18 + 21) so missed all but the last 8 years. I kind of take some responsibility for them being nice, normal, rounded young adults both at uni so although not exactly mine I'm glad I know them. I don't have my own offspring so these two will have to do.
My wife and I always wanted 2 children.
Now we have 3, we only want 1.
Got 3 of the little blighters, all boys, 5 1/2, 3 1/2 and 17 months. They're all nuts and I can see us having to teach them to hunt and kill to sustain what will inevitably be three 6 foot plus lumps, given that the wife is 6ft and I'm 5'11".
Already the eldest can munch his way though a small adults sized food portions 3 times a day as a minimum.
They're ace mind
41 and not had any.
Might regret it but I’m not having kids to look after me in old age as said above.
What to do... think I’ll go out and have fun!
I like 'em
Couldn't eat a whole one mind
Yep. It's a young man's game though so I wish I'd had them a wee bit earlier. I was of the opinion I didn't want kids so it's unlikely I'd have had them any younger.
Got one, aged 2.5. Awesome little fella and wouldn't be without him, but don't want another one.
Yes.
Without them I wouldn't be the person that I am today.
Didn't really enjoy the baby/toddler years (as my EX-wife will testify), but now, wow, couldn't imagine life without him. Actually, to be completely honest I might not have a life without him.
No kids here. Knocking on for 41. Who’ll look after me when I’m old? I reckon I’m gonna move to a warm, sunny country and buy a proper fitty in to look after me, what with all that dosh I’m not spending on kids.
Hands down, yes. In fact, I was never actively interested in having as many kids as I do, but - honestly - I wouldn't change the choices we made for anything.
8 kids, ranging from 20 to 4 in age.
I'm 45.
2 daughters here aged 10.5 and 7.
I wouldn't change this for the world.
Sometimes I wish we'd had them a little earlier (I'm 45 now) but I'm not sure I'd have been ready for it much sooner.
Our only regret is that we didn't have a third.
My wife had a miscarriage following a car crash 18 months before we had our second, and birth complications meant the baby factory had to close for good after she was born.
I'd have started younger I know that much. 🙂
After watching the program the other night, I'd adopt also.
8? EIGHT? Blimey, did you not realise what was causing it? 🙂
2 here. 18 and 16. Not without significant challenge especially the elder one. But they've enriched our lives (and made us financially much poorer!) in ways I wouldn't want to change.
And I like to keep them healthy in case I need to harvest a compatible organ 🙂
In fact, I was never actively interested in having as many kids as I do.
You must have had some input?
😛
You must have had some input?
....and also output. 😯
I would definitely have them again, the person I had them with would be changed if that is an option though? Im kind of glad I had them young as I think I wasnt headed in a very good direction before they came along
I was 20 when my oldest was born, he is nearly 7 now and his brother is 5 and I have them both on my own and I wouldnt change them for the world.
We spent 5+ years and many £10000s trying to have them, but to no avail. If I'd known what I know now at the start we'd have saved ourselves a lot of money & heartache.
Considering adopting, but I'm getting on. If we adopt now, I could be in my 60s before they leave school...
Have two - now 14 and 11. Was never a right time to have for me but so glad they came along. Ridiculously proud of them both.
They don't get any cheaper as they get older mind!
I can't say as one of them may read this thread.
I have warned him that if he (the non gay one) has kids I'll disown him.
Couldn't be without them now.
Especially when the youngest (3) wakes you up @ 12.30am as she needs a poo.
20 minutes later of random talk about poo she tells me she doesn't actually need a poo, just wanted to sit down and talk about it... 😆
Not a bloody chance!
With that knowledge I could probably do something much more constructive.
I love my boys, they are endlessly fascinating and wholly beautiful and they have unlocked hitherto undreamt of levels of compassionate adulthood in me.
But the eternal guilt and shame at the inadequacy of my parenting skills, the utter impossibility of preparing them for a world that is spiralling dangerously off course, the stress, the torment and the futility of it all makes me rue those naive and arrogant moments of passion when I briefly believed that we stood a chance of doing this job proficiently.
I could have saved them and myself a lot of anguish and used the knowledge I now possess, to turn my brief material existence into an endless celebration of the gift of my own life and influence on the earth, without the crushing doubt and anxiety of relentless daily failure.
My two are 12 and 14 now. They're alright.
Me and the missus couldn't have kids so we got some second hand ones off the council. They're ace.
(I think if we knew what we know now a bit earlier we could've skipped a bit and adopted sooner, but then we wouldn't have our daughters which TBH I now can't imagine)
Started late and wish I'd started sooner...
Me too. 40 with a soon to be 4 year old and a 7 week old. I miss some elements of my old life, but love them both to bits. I would do anything for them
Funk Jr stopped me at the door this morning “Daddy, don’t have a poo at work. It might smell yucky” such wisdom from one so young
50 here with two 8 year olds. I kinda wish I started sooner but my wife is almost 10 years younger than me and neither of us were ready. But hey, we'd have done lots of things differently with the benefit of hindsight (like keeping hold of my first house and renting it out rather than get over-excited about the idea of having more spare cash to spend on needless things like flash cars and holidays).
But I wouldn't change a thing - almost every day one or the other does something to make me feel proud. Like last week (after taking them to see a local school production of We Will Rock You) they came back and the drum-mad one went straight to her kit and started banging out 'We Will Rock You' (well the simple repeat beat part - she IS only 8 ) pretty much perfectly just from memory.
Then they were on the front page of the local paper/website this week as part of the singing group they are in at school.
When one or the other inevitably ends up solo-ing something at a school concert I shall doubtless be a bawling wreck.
10 months and 3 years here.
It's amazing - hard work but amazing. Much more enjoyable and satisfying than anything else in the world.
I love my kids but I wish I'd spent less time telling my eldest to be careful* when she was a toddler. Then maybe now (age 8) she'd not be so terrified on the bike 🙂
Just more people to share the world with and be close to.
* in case anyone thinks we were cotton wool wrapping, it was more a case of encouraging her to do things carefully than simply saying stop and get down
I wouldn't change a thing, I'm 35 (yesterday, happy birthday to me!) my kids are 7 & 9, so I had a life before, but still started pretty early.
I love them to bits, they're both 2 of my best mates and together we all have a right laugh. Even though sometimes all 4 of us can be bastards.
I've had to make sacrifices obviously, and if I'd not had kids I don't think I'd have regretted it, but you can't have it both ways, and I couldn't imagine life without them.
Got two. 3 yrs and 7 months. Life is hard but I miss them when they ain't here.
Just wish they would bloody sleep.
No kids here and happy with that.
Right now. No F ING WAY. 😈
I’m sure I’ll change my mind on Christmas morning but dear lord the last few days have been trying. 😥
Have two 17 and 14. Boy girl.
Always wanted them at some point and we were quite planned when they arrived - first was before my wife was 30. Can be very stressful, and my son was diagnosed Type 1, 3 years ago - healthy lad, nothing wrong. Shock to the system. Doing OK, but he is sick to the death of the 'disease' at the moment, so hospital psychologists and stuff. We fund some good 'tech' to make managing his bloods better.
It's trying, and it never get's easier - we were close to dragging him into hospital earlier this week as he threw his insulin pump off and wouldn't respond to us - very dangerous.
He's a great lad and has a talent with video making -made a fabulous wedding video for my sister - very impressive and at professional level and done as a favour.
The down side is we don't/struggle to spend as much time with my daughter - but she is doing well and is A* capable. She never asks for much so we try and sneak treats to her.
4 kids here, not sure if, or how many I wanted, they just sort of came along...Married first wife who already had a 3yr old, then we had twin boys together..then all fine until boys hit 14, split from the wife and met someone else who was childless..at 45 I thought I was past nappys, pre school etc but nope, had a little girl (now 5) and she is the absolute apple of my eye, the other 3 kids love her to bits and she is an amazing addition to my life...sure there have been (many) sacrifices but all worth it.
I do worry about me getting old - I will be 60 when/if she leaves school at 16, 70 when she is just in her mid twenties and I'll probably not be here to see her celebrate her 40th, which if I am honest does upset me a bit - but just makes me vow to make each and every day I spend with her special 🙂
How these two are turning out we'd have had 4!
Lots of back story but I was quite settled into not having kids , at 45 for me we had crankbrat up until him popping his head out I was ambivalent about him and all was about crankygirl. From the second I held him I was besoted . He is now 6 and my pride and joy.
I wouldn't change the life I had before it made me who I am, but I wouldn't go back either. Hard life dominating work but also complete and utter fun and satisfaction.
****ing A, 3 here all different, all awesome. Oldest one keeps me sharp on the bike, middle one keeps my dad dancing in check, youngest one one makes us all laugh.
Daughters aged 7 and 5 and I wouldn't change them for the world. They are having the childhood that I wish I'd had - full of love and fun and music and interest in what they're doing and how they feel. I love this time of year with them around.
One 7-year-old daughter - but I’m not sure what I know now that I didn’t know before, apart from complete love for a small person who depends on me. That’s both wonderful and scary at times, but most of the time it’s just normal.
No regrets at all.
If I had know then what I know now I’d have 100% still had my daughter but I’d have been more prepared!
I’d have probably taken a 6 month sabbatical to go riding before hand, coz I damn well ain’t doing it now 🙂
8 kids though?! I salute you sir!
2 kids and a dog is hard work, 8 kids ****!
Although I have to admit as someone who was less than careful in their younger days I would be close to that number without certain interventions 😕
[quote=wiggles ]I would definitely have them again, the person I had them with would be changed if that is an option though?
This - love my kids and sometimes they're the only thing which keeps me going - I also like the idea of having a nice settled family with somebody I love (strangely that wasn't ever something I particularly wanted even up to the point of having kids, but I like the idea now), but that's not what I've got, and never will have.
What Yunki said...
Actually you surrender 99% of your human identity to the process of kids - the only advice i have to prospective parents wedont have more than 2 as the world is not configured for families with 4 or more kids.
Surely there's the bigger picture to see here...that of biological need. Without kids we'd be gone in 70 years. Overall, having kids is essential. OK, like the animals, a number of us won't for some reason or another.
Personally, I thought life was important before kids. How wrong I was! They ramp things up a few notches and turn you into a better person. You have to learn a new skillset almost immediately. Absolutely nothing feels as good as a little persons love for you.
I love the idea of having more, I'd have 5 or 6, but I don't have the energy for the early months of waking up in the night, and Mrs is absolutely against any more.
Yeah... I love being a Dad 😀
That's not to say that sometimes I don't want to stove their skulls in with a mallett....
But that's the minority of times. Probably :|.
DrP
My first daughter was unplanned. If she hadn't come along then I probably would have remained childless. However now that both my Daughters are here, I could just not imagine life without them. They opened up a whole depth of love that I never knew I had in me. Still cause me worry even at 18 and 21, but they are my two best mates and I'll be utterly bereft when they finally both leave home.
... turn you into a better person.
Course they do, I've never had any dealings with evil people or aholes who had kids, they're all better people. 😉
The jury is currently out with regards to my answer. If I were to base my answer on their performance yesterday It would be a resounding NO!
My daughters almost five and most of the time shes pretty good value, but my son who has just turned two is a freaking NIGHTMARE. Its like having human siren anchored to your leg. From the moment he wakes up all he does is whine! My wife is literally at breaking point 😯
I'm sure it will all come good soon enough, but till then I have my bikes to keep me sane 😀
What Yunki & crankboy said.
Scary Carey my boy is approaching 4 and still whines all the time. He's just not a fun time kid! Went sledging, lasted two runs before it started. Groups of kids running about having fun and he tends to sit at the side, or sort of tries to play by following someone and just ends up annoying them instead!
middle one keeps my dad dancing in check
You're doing it all wrong. Dad dancing should never be checked, your purpose is to be as embarrassing as possible.
It's been a blast though I worry I didn't get the best out of the experience. They appear to be well rounded types and enjoying their lives and want to see us regularly. (Mrs Sandwich must have done something right).
Without a shadow of a doubt. He's my buddy.... he's my boy... We do many many day and boy things together and enjoy them all.
It's very very rare we have cross words.
Without him, my life would be much worse.
nope.
I started the thread as my wife and I were talking about it yesterday.....
We both agreed we wouldn't be without them, love em to bits and they are our 'everything'....
It is hard work, Lily is 3 1/2 and Fynn just a year. They are very different characters, Lily serious and moody with plenty of fire.... Which I love, she will be a force. Fynn is just mental, a smiley happy wrecking ball.
We live in Croatia, have a new, very busy, business, house renovation and, of course the kids.... Sometimes it is all to much. The kids do take everything you have and it is hard to have anything of the life you used to, we are now mummy and daddy and that is, seemingly, all we do...
It is a selfish notion really, I miss my pre children life, the freedom, the sense of identity, the sleep!!!
It's hard, but I wouldn't ever be without them but maybe we would have changed other life plans to accommodate....
As soon as I get tired of large amounts of disposable income, peace & quiet & quality freetime, then I will have children. Its not happened yet.
Yeah definitely ..I always wanted family..the first time I was ready my then wife wasn't and this among other things led to our split ..met my daughter's mam a couple of years later and at the age of 34 my daughter was born ..she is now 26 a fantastic kid and has a similar sense of independence to my own.
The hardest decision in my life came when it no longer became possible to live with her mam and I left a broken hearted 8 year old behind ..made even harder when her mother out of spite alone denied me access and it cost thousands in legal fees and a couple of years before I got to see her on a regular basis ..all the while though my daughter still wanted to see me which made the whole process worthwhile ..
There is regret there of course ..that I didn't see her every day and play a bigger part in her life as she was growing up ...
At 42 I met my current missus when she was 25..and we have been together for 18 years..I have never been happier and we have a 14 year old son ..again knows his own mind and is a not so little ( 6'1") shit at times ..but I'm proud of the way he is turning out ..he is the Apple of his mother's eye and gets away with murder..but knows where to draw the line ..I like how he pushes things to see how far that line can stretch..all part of growing up 😆
Kids don't cost a lot until you go on holiday tbh.
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(I haven't got kids 😆 )
Never wanted kids when I was in my 20s and early 30s. As friends started having them I began to warm to the idea. Had some trouble conceiving until my daughter arrived 2 years ago. Love her to bits, she's often the only thing than can make me smile.
Negative things:
Have zero intimacy with wife, not helped by daughter still breast feeding and co sleeping.
Simple things take for ever
Less bike time
Very difficult to run a business from home and have a child (there are positives to this too that I just have to remind myself about).
Wish we would have had her earlier, or at least at a similar time as friends, factoring keeping a 2 year old when friends kids are much older means getting together surprising difficult.
Above all I worry about bringing her in to this world of Brexit, Trump, increasing nationalism, inequality and the threat of automation. We've been trying for another and have had 2 miscarriages, I'm beginning to think that may be it's for the best 😥
So no I'd never regret having our fantastic daughter, but I have doubts about whether having children was the correct thing.
[quote=cheers_drive ]Have zero intimacy with wife, not helped by daughter still breast feeding and co sleeping.
If you really do mean zero, that includes all forms of intimacy (not just having a shag) and that's been the case since she was born, then get it sorted mate. You might think you can cope, but eventually it kills things.
though I'm not sure how to equate that with:
We've been trying for another and have had 2 miscarriages
which means you've had at least one more "moment of intimacy" than I'd had when my oldest was 2.
We've been trying for another and have had 2 miscarriages
Sorry to hear that mate - sending lots of love.