[Closed] Just imagine, hypothetically you had forgotten Valentines day tomorrow

You are soooo screwed.

Give it a really good wash, maybe some manscaping

Shit, got to write out the card!

Thanks op!

Also, this from your other thread seems appropriate op.😁

Nice answer: be honest. She'll understand hopefully.

Real answer: ha ha, you're toast!

So you need something you can sort out now for tomorrow. Bit if a long shot but are any of your local pubs or restaurants doing meals for collection? Might be able to book something online to collect for tomorrow lunchtime or evening?

Is there time for a youtube video of you carving a heart out of wood with a chainsaw?

Please can I have your votes and suggestions how to mitigate C

You can offer to surprise her with marathon sexy time perhaps?

Omg

Bake her a cake.
Easy, can be done now, or after she's gone to bed anyway. Shows thought and effort and there's nothing else you could have done because of the plague.
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I'm one step ahead of you, just need to ice mine 😀

Tell her to do one....

Not bothered with valentines or even Christmas for the last 18 years so why now?

Put a sign saying "Help!" in your window.

I've made fudge. Has your wife got a sweet tooth? Can't go wrong with fudge.

Taxidermy squirrel?

I’m not one to show off but my wife can’t stand Valentines! Which is great cos I’m a forgetful twit!

You are soooo screwed.

Neither will your partner (well not by you) 🐒

Get a Sharpie pen and tattoo something suitable, somewhere suitable. Redo this every day until lockdown ends, then get it done properly.

Or

Come clean, spend the day with her doing what you know she wants to do and clean the house.

I'd go with option 1 myself

You'll be fine. Texaco is open in the morning.

Make a card!
I'm feeling particularly pleased with my efforts to mitigate this exact problem ... 😁

My daughter was also very amused when I asked to borrow her coloured pencils.

Valentine's Day is just a huge scam perpetrated by the military-industrial-giftcard complex.

[i]Valentine’s Day is just a huge scam perpetrated by the military-industrial-giftcard complex.[/i]

They have been at it a while then

Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate romance and love and kissy-face fealty. But the origins of this festival of candy and cupids are actually dark, bloody — and a bit muddled.

A drawing depicts the death of St. Valentine — one of them, anyway. The Romans executed two men by that name on Feb. 14 of different years in the 3rd century A.D.
Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Though no one has pinpointed the exact origin of the holiday, one good place to start is ancient Rome, where men hit on women by, well, hitting them.

That Big Evil Internet Warehouse still delivering some items on Prime by tomorrow. I just ordered poetry book and also hundreds of sticky glow in the dark stars for a surprise reveal at lights off. Pan pipes and prancing satyr panto suit considered optional. Then reconsidered not.

We have an 11 foot ceiling though, so looks like the stepladder is coming out of hibernation. How will I smuggle that in?

Card is going to have to be made at breakfast. STW saves my skin again. I hope.

How did 'that woman' get the cigar in the White House for the president?

Still time to make some squirrel slippers!

hundreds of sticky glow in the dark stars for a surprise reveal at lights off

Are you sticking them on your person. Or is that a bit weird?

^ yeah no yeah. Would be weird at my age and shape.

Her: ‘Awwww. Am I to guess? Are you supposed to be glow-globe’?

Me: ‘No, er. Ok yes. Very much yes.’

(Disappears to lock self in bathroom, crying silently whilst peeling off the burning stars of shame)

Toast for breakfast.

This is making me sad that the annual tradition of bumping into at least one colleague in the cards aisle at Tesco at 10pm on Feb 13th is not being observed 🙁

Shops open at 8:00, you'll be fine.

Don't worry OP, she will say "it's fine, I didn't get you anything and we are a bit old for all this valentines daftness ".

She will then bury/burn whatever she had got you,then order a giant bag of premium squirrel food.
🙂

stripeysocks
Free Member
This is making me sad that the annual tradition of bumping into at least one colleague in the cards aisle at Tesco at 10pm on Feb 13th is not being observed 🙁

The Aisle of Shame.😁

By far the worst is going through the desiccated remains of the flowers in the water bins. The humanity.

If emergency garage flowers and a crappy card really can't be sourced then you'll have to be up early, prepare breakfast in bed without any prompting, ask what she would like to do today as if you're a considerate sort, and worst comes to the worst just blame Amazon...

Valentines day is a bastard invention, apparently "it doesn't matter" but it's quite clearly does and is basically another "Princess day" for women who, like my wife, frankly don't deserve it, but are unbearable if some degree of fuss isn't made, and even worse if you're honest and point out that it's just a load of sexist consumer drivel...

You can tell why she loves me right!

Good luck OP.

Already despised by my better half, spent 2 days in hospital this week with a suspected heart attack. Her goodwill towards me avoiding death lasted about 20 mins when i got home 🙂

The missus knows I got her a card because she saw it come in the post.

She also knows I put it in a safe place so as per usual I don't know where it is. She's a lucky gal

Reach into your wife's keepsake box, remove last years card. Present as this year. No excursion to the shops needed.

I put the card in my bike helmet last night, so that when I slope off riding before she gets up, I remember to put it out. All I need to do now is not forget to remove the £1 sticker 😉

I've been working overnight so card is under her phone, bottle of Pouilly Fume is now in the fridge.

A homemade squirrel purse?

Can’t go wrong with fudge?

You can, but we ended up calling it toffee.

If I’d said that having been together for 30 years then it’s a total wind up because I already know you haven’t bothered like always. Already told My OH not to bother and let’s just be nice to each other 365 days of the year rather than waste any money for one. But I’m what you’d call low maintenance and when I say something I mean it, rather than having to be able to speak code.

But I’m what you’d call low maintenance and when I say something I mean it, rather than having to be able to speak code.

Do you have a sister?

There was an exchange of cards about 6.30 when I got up to make us a coffee. She read a book till she fell back to asleep, I read the latest ST mag till she fell asleep, just had breakfast, put the washing on, checked Fridays riding kit is dry ready to go out just after 9.

She's away again next week on caring duties for her parents. Last year she went away on Valentine's Day to lead a Scout and Guide trip to Switzerland. Romantic we are not 🤣

She knew you had forgotten.

You can stay at my place.

bottle of Pouilly Fume is now in the fridge.

Not bad, but nothing says Valentine's day like a clean oven after a cooked brunch. Now to write the card I bought a week ago!

oldmanmtb2
Free Member

Already despised by my better half, spent 2 days in hospital this week with a suspected heart attack. Her goodwill towards me avoiding death lasted about 20 mins when i got home 🙂

Never mind all the romantic guff, how are you doing?

but nothing says Valentine’s day like a clean oven after a cooked brunch

Don't know what that is but it sounds filthy

Never forget it, just ignore it.

Managed to nip to the shops before she remembered this morning and got her favourite chocolates, no card as they are considered a waste of time. She was happy as she knows I love her all year round and said she wasn't expecting anything extra to show it. Happy days.

You can, but we ended up calling it toffee.

A fair point, well made, but not this year: it came out great. Fudge, a card, and some flowers: win win win.

There was a lot of forlorn looking blokes in Morrisons today at 3:45. Not a single flower or flowering pot left. I hope their sofas are comfortable... 🤣

There was a lot of forlorn looking blokes in Morrisons today

Reality though not one I'd much want to share. We accidentally got a meal out on valentine's night a couple of years ago, we'd sat down before we realised with a sinking feeling what night it was when we realised the place was full of (other) couples, we needed to eat so stayed. I'm really not saying we're better/have a better relationship than those couples for whom valentine's is a thing (I don't want to tempt fate...) Just that it doesn't look very enviable.

Ignored it as usual. Total rubbish.

When I first met my other half about 7 years ago, I didn't know which direction to take Valentines, we'd spoken about it being daft going to huge expense. It was more important to show you'd made an effort.

Cue me doing a whole load of research looking for romantic novels which had a character called Sarah. (There's loads with characters called Louise surprisingly).

I bought 7 of these books second hand from various places and scan read them until I found a page where the words 'I love you Sarah' were in the right order but not together in one phrase. I got my favourite highlighter, tore the page out and framed it.

Thought I was on to a romantic winner there, but the look of 'WTF' was recognisable from 200yds. I got some Graze boxes and a reach round.

Bizarrely she's got more romantic as the years have gone on, I got a book printed with all our emails from Match etc. yesterday. She got flowers.

What is she doing for you?

valentine's day - what a load of commercialised bollox. I suggest telling your wife you love her more often then she won't feel the need to get gifts on one particular day of the year.