[Closed] Joyless Bores Assemble.

You had me until biscuits

Don't quite see how setting fire to fivers so you can wreck your lungs, smell like an old ashtray and die from cancer is being a bore.

Cake? get out.

I can tick 5, am I in?

Are they going to ban pr0n?

I wish I was as cool as you, OP.

Is that all in one day? sounds like an awesome day, count me in.

Drink? - just started having the occasional pint again after not drinking for over 12 months due to medications. TBH didn't miss it much but it's nice to have a decent pint occasionally.

Takeaways? - maybe one every couple of months or so.

Biscuits? - chocolate Hobnobs and Jammy Dodgers are my failings here.

Cake? - Can't stop baking then eating them. You can't have too much of a good cake.

The other stuff just isn't worth it.

Is my life only slightly hollow?

Have to say, I think that Avengers Assemble was a much better pitch to the studio execs than your suggestion. I'm not sure they'll go for it. Might not play all that well to the cinema going market.

This thread is a joyless empty shell without a binners retort.

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Cheers! 😀

Smoking - no
Drinking - yes
Drugs - no (although technically alcohol and caffeine are drugs, so possibly yes!)
Takeaways - yes
Biscuits - yes
Cakes - yes
Religion - no
Gambling - yes (if you count the lottery)

I can tick 4, can I join too ?

Tick on five or six (depending on whether you count giving in to my wife's cravings for Chinese takeaway once every two months) and I don't think I'm lacking in joy.

Lacking in high blood pressure, lung problems, excess weight maybe, but not joy.

Is disappointed. Was expecting a thread for Morrisey fans....

Smoking - No, only very stupid people smoke - it's an addictive drug that produces no 'high' other than the freedom of cravings. I watched a loved one take their last desperate breath in an drug induced sleep because the pain was too great to take awake because of Lung Cancer. It's possibly the last post for natural selection in the Human Race, we're slowly weeding out the terminally stupid from the gene pool with tobacco, it's only the fact that smokers live long enough to reproduce that it's not happening sooner. You look like crap, I can spot a smoker from their darkened sunken eyes, and the smell of course - but do keep spending a fortune on them, it's subsidies the tax of the rest of us.

Drinking - maybe twice a year, I like being a bit drunk, I don't like spending the following 24 hours feeling unwell.

Drugs - not in 10 years, for me drugs were all about escaping an unhappy life for a few hours, then spending the next couple of days feeling worse - happy, secure people don't need drugs.

Takeaways - had one last night, maybe 2-3 a month when I can't be arsed cooking.

Biscuits and Cakes, not really my type of thing, I prefer chocolate and Ice Lollies.

Religion - well, let's say I hedge my bets, I don't go to church unless I'm getting married or having one of the kids christened soon, but I do believe in God, but not always with the Church.

Gambling - I play the lottery sometimes, I've recently re-found my love for scratch cards, I've won a bit, lost a bit, nothing worth worrying about. I used to play Poker a bit, I'm pretty good too, but I don't have the time now.

doesnt religion ban all that fun stuff anyway?

Hold on, not eating biscuits. Is that even a thing?

doesnt religion ban all that fun stuff anyway?

I think they just frown upon fapping off in church. Everything else is OK. Oh no hold on, I don't think they like bummers either.

I fail on cake and biscuites. I am a dirty man! I have a pack of lidl custard cream sneaked into my desk draw (they are not quality but the are cheap). I hide my buscuit eating from others, trying not to russel the pack. I often think I eat too many biscuits. Somtime I refrain, just to prove I can but then spluge on a an entire pack. I need help. Thanks for helping me admit it!

I think they just frown upon fapping off in church. Everything else is OK. Oh no hold on, I don't think they like bummers either.

Unless it's an altar boy being 'bummed'.

it's an addictive drug that produces no 'high' other than the freedom of cravings

well that's balls! google nicotine rush if you've never experienced it before.

OP
Don't worry about all the naysayers.
You just keep basking in that warm glow of fitness and health([b]age related[/b])as you creak through your dull and boring training sets. 🙂

I get the impression that heterosexual bumming is OK as long as there was one of those "marriage" things.

well that's balls!

No. That's the actual event properly described.

Speaking as an ex-addict, like.

Smoking - Never appealed

Drinking - There are probably more days in the week when I do have a drink than when I don't, so probably too much

Drugs - Never appealed

Takeaways - Once a week-ish

Biscuits - TBH, I could live without them, but I'll eat them if they're there

Cakes - You'll have to pry them out of my cold, dead hands

Religion - raised sort of Catholic, now completely Atheist. But live and let live.

Gambling - Play the lottery when I think the jackpot is worth winning, which is nuts, cos any jackpot is worth winning innit, really

All of the above however has no bearing on the fact that I can be a miserable tosspot sometimes 🙂

Biscuits and cakes are the work of satan. Weird hybrid combinations of the two - the Jaffa cake - is the personification of all evil.

jaffa cakes are overrate, much like the wheelbarrow

Surely an evening of competition planking with your other half would beat cakes and biscuits any day of the week. 😆
Followed by a celebratory bowl of brocolli.

5/8 here.

Could do better with cakes, biscuits and takeaways, although giving each of them a separate category seems a bit harsh. Not sure a daily intake of 20 Embassy equates to 1 tunnocks caramel.

Surely an evening of competition planking with your other half would beat cakes and biscuits any day of the week

Are you admitting that you are a competition level planker? 😉

I sometimes have a piping hot bath. No candles though

No interest here, no sirree...

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1 out of 8. And I'm a vegetarian!

If I didn't hang about in beer gardens once a week with Binners I'd probably top myself.

Mr Woppit: Are they happy frolicking nazi nymph's? That's some really niche porn.

If I had to hang about in a beer garden with binners once a week, I [i]would[/i] kill myself.

Strength Through Joy, apparently...

No smoking , no drugs, no religion and no gambling.

The rest , game on !!

Sweeties ok then? Tangfastic!!!!!

Trouble with Tangfastics is the only reliable source of them is Superstar Components. Even a slight addiction leads to bikes made entirely of pinkish-red anodised bling.

An occasional 1 out of the 8 here. I am however a joyless bore.

Smoking: tried it once, it was disgusting
Drinking: well, I'll be over the pub tonight and tomorrow night, if there's a pub handy when I'm out walking on a Sunday then I'll have a couple.
Drugs: a mate gave me a piece of resin to chew on once, because I don't do cigs, and I was totally off my face for hours, I have little recollection of the Johnny Thunders gig at Bath Pavilion that night. I have no need to try it again.
Takeaways: oh absolutely, partial to a kebab or a burger after I've dropped my mate off from the pub, and fish'n'chips is a regular treat.
Cake: depends on the cake, but yes.
Biscuits: depends on the biscuits, but leaving an unattended packet of McV's Digestives around is [i]really[/i] asking for trouble!
Religion: nah. Pantheistic Humanist, couldn't give a toss what anyone else wants to believe, just so long as they keep it to themselves.
Gambling: well, I do lotteries as and when I remember.

Pretty much don't touch any of them. Oh dear am I a joyless bore?

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I have loads of vices from a blacksmiths one to a mini desk one.

Try the fish......

Non from Monday until Christmas, then all apart from Fags, drugs, take a ways & religion

I suspect twinw4ll is Fred.

Is cheesecake a cake?
If so I am occasionally guilty on all counts your honour