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https://youtube.com/shorts/TN4RnCLXHHM?feature=shared
Just saw this one crop up again and it's never not funny.
Which Tyler and the pedants' revolt
Blackadder explaining to Baldrick how the war started, in particular the final couple of lines
Yes well there was *tiny* flaw with the plan...
What was that Sir?
It was *bollocks*.
It's not jokes in the spirit of the thread but as we've moved into scenes from films, anyone watching Last One Laughing? 10 comedians in a 'Big Brother' style house trying not to laugh at each other in an elimination style contest.
If you don't like the comedians then maybe you won't enjoy it, but the Mrs and I have been in bits at some of it.
No spoilers but highlights so far are Joe W's talk about the RNLI, Bob's songs and if you've seen it 'Naughty Taughty'
Bob Mortimers podcast athletico mince. He used to do Peter Beardsley sketches, and at the end Peter would read some jokes from his joke book. The one that tickles me most to this day;
I used to play triangle in a reggae band. I ended up leaving in the end, it was just one ting after another.
If we're allowing clips, the immortal Sean Lock on Countdown.
(I originally typoed that as "immoral" and almost left it as an improvement.)
I used to play triangle in a reggae band. I ended up leaving in the end, it was just one ting after another.
The original version of this I believe is:
I play triangle in a reggae band. I stand at the back and ting.
I think he says he just robs the jokes from everyone else. Mostly Tim Vine, for the one liners.
I found a website with a pretty decent list of them. All equally cringe inducing!
https://thenorthernhalf.wordpress.com/2020/11/23/peter-beardsleys-joke-book/
There's a joke around Korean meatballs.
And: A bloke goes into Halfords and asks if they have a wing mirror for a Skoda. The assistant replies, that sounds like a fair swap.
Not the nine o’clock news Swedish chemists sketch
Fake Swedish accent vital…
Customer:
’I’d like some deodorant please’
shop assistant: ‘
Ball or aerosol?’
Customer:
’ neither it’s for my armpits ‘
The kangaroot joke from t'other thread still has me laughing 😅
Someone: "Drunk mind speaks sober heart"
My drunk ass: "got any barlic gread?"
Bloke gets hit right in the mouth by a ninja star, 'what Kung Fu dat den?'
The Aristocrats.
If we're doing Sean Lock, carrot in the box and rectum of the year.
That first Carrot in a Box was comic genius
Morecombe and Wise: emergency vehicle passes the window. “He’s not going to sell much ice cream going at that speed “
Interrupting Cow.
My 6 year old lad is firmly in the "telling jokes" part of his life, and it's brilliant.
Interrupting Cow.
He absolutely nails the timing with this one, one of his favourites to tell new people.
Today was:
Why do bees stay in their hive in Winter?
s'warm!
“What, with these feet?”
Not a joke, but the Shooting Stars scene with Matt Lucas buying a caravan off Bob Mortimer. Can't watch it without crying.
The Doug Stanhope joke, 60 Inches of Aids on Any Given Sunday. A modern "Aristocrats". Consider every possible trigger warning applicable. But, my God, the sheer baroque richness of the language: every single simile is a work of art.
Following an electricity sub station explosion today in West Bridgford, local Nottingham news groups are speculating on more Russian sabotage, including one poster who was adamant that we were already in a "gorilla war".
Which gave me a not to be missed opportunity to ask if the gorillas were livid.
Interrupting Cow.
One of my all-time favourite jokes. I played an escape room one time which had an element where we had to put on a stage performance, one requirement of which was "tell a joke." I did the Interrupting Cow gag, then we lost two minutes of game time as the rest of the team was reduced to giggles and fit for nothing.
Which gave me a not to be missed opportunity to ask if the gorillas were livid.
Ah, Gerald?
Reminds me of the time a mate invited me round for a barbecue:
i will never get tired of this (or any of police squad/aeroplane)
https://youtube.com/shorts/50MpMrnFZyY?si=qUeEU2-Qb-yTIMnN
Thing is, I'm trying to think of stuff that guarantees a laugh, but very little of what comes to mind would be appropriate for a potentially leakable WhatsApp group, never mind a public internet forum.
A safe one would be Keith's performance review in The Office.
"What are the options?"
Caroline Aherne as Mrs Merton.
So then the lovely Debbie McGee.
What first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?
🤣