[Closed] Jokes about cheese please 🙂

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

How can you joke about cheese?
It's a very serious business.

don simon (qualified cheesemaker) 👿

What type of cheese is made backwards?

EDAM.

Gouda been such a good thread this.

what's white and sits in a tree..?

Rupert the fridge..

(not technically a cheese joke but I reckon you could sneak a cheese reference in there without upsetting anyone..)

What cheese to you use to entice a bear down from a mountain? ... Camembert
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? ... Halloumi

What cheese do you use to disguise a horse? ... Mascarpone

How do you handle dangerous cheese? ... Caerphilly

What cheese is made backwards? ... Edam

What cheeses would you eat on a windy day? ... Bries

Can you make cheese without milk? ... No whey!

What cheese was really good at running in the 80s?

Gorgonzola Budd.

I clearly just copied and pasted but who cares!

Familiarity brie-ds contempt.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

What's a Pirates favourite cheese?

Chedd-AAAAAARGH

Why did Michael Jackson coat his willy in dairylea? ...because kids will do anything for dairylea ....I'll get my coat.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

why the hell didn't I know that saying when I was still young and carefree enough to wield such a poignant gem with aplomb..?

Cheers folks, a couple of new ones there...nice pirate one Shane, how's life with the Jacks?

Cheese jokes, pah! I camembert them.

Some spotty youth threw a block of mild cheese through our lounge window today. I went outside and shouted after him "Well that's not very mature!"

I was walking along the street yesterday when some bloke threw milk and cheese at me. I thought "How dare'ee!"

Jack's ***t! LOL

My Toddlers bike has a tiny edam zip tied to the bars. It's his baby bell.

My Toddlers bike has a tiny edam zip tied to the bars. It's his baby bell.

Can we borrow your small edam for my school nativity play? We need a Little Baby Cheeses

I bought it at a special dairy products market in the middle east called "Cheeses of Nazareth"

There was a young man from Dundalk

Who was marooned for year on a rock

He had nothing to eat

But the corns on his feet

And the cheese that he picked form his xxxx

What's a freedom fighter's favourite cheese?
Che, dur.

OK that's bloody awful but it's an original dammit.

How does a pornstar like his cheese?

Blue and veiny.

I've just made that up you know 🙂

Dundalk and rock don't rhyme. 😕

It's becoming more obvious to me why most people just repost old jokes

I thought the camembert one was to do with Yogi's little friend BooBoo 😆

I don't know any jokes but cheese based names are

Reg Leicester
Cheddar George
Gordon Zola
Wesley Dale
Phil E Delphia
Cameron Bear

How do you handle exploding cheese?

Caerphilly.

"One day Jill (a virgin) went to the zoo with Jack. They were walking around, and saw one elephant mounting another. "What are they doing?" asked Jill. "Oh, they're making pizza", Jack said. "Hmm...interesting. Can we make pizza, Jack?" Jack replied, "Not right now Jill".

They keep walking and see two lions having sex. "What are THEY doing Jack?" Jill asked. "Oh, they're making pizza, too", replied Jack. "Hmmm...interesting. Can we make pizza NOW, Jack?" said Jill. "No Jill," Jack answered". "Not right now".

They keep walking and see two monkeys having sex. "Are THEY making pizza, too, Jack?" "Yes, they are making pizza, Jill", answered Jack. Jill then said "Jack...can we PLEASE make pizza NOW? Jack thought about it for a second, and said, "Okay Jill, let's go make pizza".

So Jack and Jill go behind a bush and start getting it on. After a little while, Jill stops and says, "JACK! I think the pizza's ready!!" Jack looked at her and said "How do you know that, Jill?" To which Jill said....

"Because the cheese is running down my leg".

There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France......
All that was left was de brie.