Jet skis - anyone got one?

I don’t want to be accused of over-reacting but I think the Royal Navy should be taken off whatever anti-immigration nonsense the Home Office has them on, and deployed to sink jet skis behaving as you describe.

Hahahaha

A guy I know runs a jet-ski sales/servicing place. He loves the job, tinkering with the engines and whatnot - the only problem is (in his exact words)
"95% of my customers are complete ****s" 🤣

I have. They're loads of fun and people love to see me razzing about.

Not really. Issue lifeguards with bazookas and call me a moderate. There used to be a couple of fat twits, forgive my body shaming, who'd do this at saltburn and were universally reviled. Not seem them for years now I think of it, though I don't surf there that often these days.

It just looks so boring as well.

You know the anti social MXers and Surron ****s tearing up footpaths etc - it's the water equivalent of them

My neighbour used to have a 'big' one - used to spend quite a while hosing the intakes out on return. Main issue was finding somewhere you could legally use them, certainly in the North West.

As mentioned, they should be no-where near swimmers etc, and follow the bouys into the launch areas.

Was at a beach in North wales last year, seemed to be a bit of a haven for the damned things. Not exactly peaceful. Hopefully the cost of fuel will put them off (not holding breath)
See also Snomobilers and mx riders..

I rented one for half an hour once. It was incredibly boring after the first five minutes. No skill required, no challenge in it at all.

remember the stand up ones? I had a go a few years back in a rental place near Swindon, and after 20 years I could still stand straight up on the thing. stand up ones were much harder and would kill off the fat knackers if they had to do this :-)))

There is something about them for sure that attracts a lot of odd people

I'm not big on guns. If and when I become overlord there would be a gun ban APART from anyone with a jetski sniper rifle licence. That would be the only gun sport/target shooting allowed. It would seem a reasonable and balanced compromise - if you own a jet ski get quite literally in the sea and then get to **** far enough out to sea that you are out of range. If you dare to come back into range and 'play' with the swimmers and other sane, quiet water users expect to get slotted by my massively frustrated militia of bloodthirsty twunts.

Stupid stupid things. I can imagine they are interesting for the first 30mins or so and then when you've pretty much mastered everything there is to master all that's left to do is do more of that and annoy other people. You get the same sense of speed after learning to windsurf/kitesurf etc but it takes years of building up technique to get there. That's where the sense of achievement comes from. Jetskis just seem to be for the knuckle draggers without either the skills or the patience.

And then there is the noise. Even one being used safely is ****ing annoying to listen to even a mile or two away. Hundreds of other beach and water users having their peace shattered by some fat skill void lump.

And breath.

Anyone on here got one and shed any light on why they race up and down along the shore right next to swimmers etc?

Haven't got one, but have seen loads driven in an annoying way. The only reason I can think of for being in amongst the surfers is to jump the breaking surf, but they should be doing that well away from swimmers obviously.

A lot of beaches have a designated swimming area cordoned off with a rope with floats to stop jetskis and boats getting mixed in with swimmers.

I don't think they're all driven annoyingly,the problem is that the ones not driven annoyingly will be miles away from anyone so never seen,leaving just the annoying ones .

As far as I know there is no legal requirement for any training to operate any kind of pleasure boat (Inc jet skis) up to a certain size (24m?) in the UK,so no surprise that there are some idiots driving them.

Harbour master chased me out from the harbour on my paddleboard yesterday after I launched from the slip.

The three yobs on the jetskis causing havoc for all other users didn't get any hassle at all.both on the water and with their complete lack of ability to reverse a trailer.

Harbour master obviously can't see the dangers in his harbour for his own skewed prejudices ...

…the police turned up. Said there was nothing they can really do.

Sadly, that is still the case. There was a consultation last year about changing the law, but they are still "analysing the feedback":

https://www.gov.uk/government/consultations/strengthening-enforcement-of-the-dangerous-use-of-recreational-and-personal-watercraft

Thanks for the replies.

Answer seems to be because they are utter w@***s.

The comment about them being the equivalent to MXers razzing around on foot paths is spot on.

Surly the consultation must have have simar feedback.

Well, enough of them are indeed w****ers and in such a high profile way as to eliminate any good will for those that are not.

That said, whenever theyre out here theyre usually being utter cocks with the usual close passes with boarders/swimmers. So maybe it is all of them.

@trail_Rat

That wasnt Stonehaven by any chance?

I don’t think they’re all driven annoyingly,the problem is that the ones not driven annoyingly will be miles away from anyone so never seen,leaving just the annoying ones .

Hmm, i have a fuzzy memory about something along these lines. Isnt there a limit as to how far a watercraft of that size can travel from shore?

Edit, if there is I dont think its relevant to Git Skis

Surely the consultation must have have similar feedback.

It certainly did from me. Unfortunately it was a horribly flawed consultation paper. It started with the clear objective of regulating jetskis, but by the end of the document it was proposing to regulate literally (and I do mean literally) anything that floats, powered or unpowered, unless it's under 2.5m long. It read as if somebody senior had written the objective, given it to a student to write the details, and then published it without checking it. So even though there will have been a lot of support for regulation of jetskis they can probably say that the feedback to the consultation was mixed.

Hmm, i have a fuzzy memory about something along these lines. Isnt there a limit as to how far a watercraft of that size can travel from shore?

No definitely not. You're only limited by the fuel you can carry and your own sense of survival.

I'm in two minds about them on the one hand people moaning about them sound very similar to the red socks moaning about mountain bikers on bridleways, on the other hand I have seen them being driven by absolute pillocks causing huge conflict with swimmers.

I guess the difference is there is no reason for the jetskis to be in amongst the swimmers,they could be doing exactly the same thing a mile offshore,whereas mountain bikers don't have anywhere other than bridleways to ride.

I wonder if the people that buy them without any prior boating experience are a bit scared of going round the coast to a quieter area with no swimmers etc,or haven't had a look at a chart to see what's round the corner.

Plus mountain bikes don’t have engines and the majority of riders I know and see on trails don’t endanger others. I’ve never seen a jet ski being used sensibly or courteously.

To try to reduce the number of jetskis being misused locally the harbour board introduced a higher launch fee.
Then they added the stipulation tjat you had to have 3rd party insurance
Then, as the numbers and actions still left alot to be desired they made you have RYA powerboat 2 or pwc cert.
This seems to have had the desired effect and the numbers are down.
They still ignore the " no power craft" zone.
They still breach the "no landing zone", an area of about 1 mile where everyone swims, kites, sups, windsurfs etc.
The council toom away the beach patrol who could actually do something.
They still speed in the harbour, seem to aim at swimmers.
And go about 250mtrs, turn rpund, go back 250mtrs, turn round and repeat.
As if all the female part of the beach will whip off their bikini tops and run out to sea screaming " take me know, you jet ski stud" at their amazing abilty to use a twist grip accelerator

That wasnt Stonehaven by any chance?

Yeah it was.

Wouldn't be so bad if access to botany bay wasn't made terrible due to all the works going on to the harbour.

Damn, tuned in to see if this was a post about recommendations for decent Jet Skis 😉

Been looking into it and plan to get one when the eldest turns 16. Will both be doing the RYI course ( which appears to be a requirement to obtain insurance etc)
May even stretch the budget to one of the new fangled electric ones just to annoy the luddites even more 😀

Been looking into it and plan to get one when the eldest turns 16.

Damn, sorry to hear he was born with learning difficulties. Well done you though for finding him something he can do as well as everyone else 😉

p.s. It's RYA - not been around boats much maybe?

An electric one would reduce the w****er rating a bit actually.

They seem to love revving them as then come in to shore and when they are on their trailer on the prom.

At one point I could taste petrol.

I have no idea what the attraction is. I mean motorbikes go on trails or roads which go up, down and side to side. Jet skis just go zip on way then zip the other way. I can't imagine how it would hold any attraction after the first go.

They seem to love revving them as then come in to shore

Need to use a fair few revs to push the ski onto the trailer.plus they don't turn unless under power.

and when they are on their trailer on the prom.

Flushing the engine through with fresh water, to get rid of the salt water. The engine needs to run for a bit with the fresh water supply connected. If its not done various engine bits will corrode over time.

I have no idea what the attraction is. I mean motorbikes go on trails or roads which go up, down and side to side. Jet skis just go zip on way then zip the other way. I can’t imagine how it would hold any attraction after the first go.

I don't know what the attraction is when all they do is zip up and down the same beach 100 times,but like I mentioned up there you don't have to do this,you can use them to go places, but I don't know why most users don't do this, I presume it's because they're a bit lacking in confidence to go a few miles round the coast and explore.if I had one I'd use it to go places and explore.

I mentioned up there you don’t have to do this,you can use them to go places, but I don’t know why most users don’t do this,

I'd say its because if you are into noisy ways to travel around on water and go places, you'd have bought a rib.

To me fair there is a photographer I watch the odd youtube video of in Canada. He has a big old jetski and uses it to go places on the lakes and it looks a bit more fun than what the twunts you see on theme here in the UK do. But I'd still buy a rib instead.

I’d say its because if you are into noisy ways to travel around on water and go places, you’d have bought a rib.

Something you don’t get soaked using, can tie up or anchor wherever you want? Madness

But I’d still buy a rib instead.

I think that's the issue, they don't do anything better than a rib/small boat, except go faster in very flat conditions.and I guess they take up less space 9m the drive or in storage

They're no cheaper to buy, not significantly cheaper to run or maintain (arguably jetskis cost more to maintain than a rib with outboard), they have less space on board, and can't handle the chop as well as a rib.

A rib is a better all round bet for travelling between places.

My neighbour used to have a ‘big’ one – used to spend quite a while hosing the intakes out 

Flushing out the frozen sausages?

They are useful for water rescue/safety, but sadly the rest get used by utter knobs.

Near me, they buzz surfers, seals, paddle boarders, ignore the 5 knot speed limit for nesting birds and make such an irritating drone next to the most beautiful spots.

I’ve used them and honestly, within 30 seconds you’re at a pro level; they’re so unbelievably boring.

They attract a certain type, don’t they…? 😖

I used one to visit my girlfriend on the Isle Of Man once. Only time the rozzers ever took an interest in my activities. ☹️

Edit: Double Post

I once hired a jet ski in Kefalonia, about 20 years ago now.

It was amazing. 20 minutes of absolutely ridiculous fun flying back and forth and, as my confidence built, diving down and up out of the water like a dolphin.

When my 20 minutes was up I asked for another go as I was absolutely buzzing..I was advised not, but I ignored their advice.

I'll cut to the chase. A few minutes later I inevitably fell off, and my arms were so battered from wrestling this thing I was actually unable to get back onto it.

So yes, I was floating like a limp cock in the Med and had to be rescued by the hire people and dragged back onto the jetski by my swimmers - in front of my girlfriend who was watching from the shore - and towed back to safety.

And that's my story about jetskis.

I used one to visit my girlfriend on the Isle Of Man once. Only time the rozzers ever took an interest in my activities. ☹️

Reminds me of a time when a mate rescued a jetskier who, whilst attempting to cross the Irish Sea, ran out of fuel…🙄

Said Jetskier tried to bill them for the loss of the jetski as they only winched him on the Sea King and left the ski behind… the boss acknowledged the cost of the ski and said he’d deduct the £3k, or whatever it was, off the £50k he was going to charge for the cost of the rescue. They didn’t get a reply after that…

The big problem is they’re so easy to use (hence the boredom issue). Folk buy one and don’t have any seamanship to safely and responsibly use them. Something that is also happening in paddleboarding, sadly, but with different outcomes requiring rescue.

I used one to visit my girlfriend on the Isle Of Man once. Only time the rozzers ever took an interest in my activities

The lad that did that had a some bollox......
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that needed emptying pretty badly to take that on!

Damn, sorry to hear he was born with learning difficulties. Well done you though for finding him something he can do as well as everyone else 😉

p.s. It’s RYA – not been around boats much maybe?

Thanks for the correction, I knew what I meant, just used the wrong letter 😎
Oh and it’s the youngest who has learning difficulties , but luckily I’m not offended by idiotic comments 🙄

I don’t know what the attraction is when all they do is zip up and down the same beach 100 times,but like I mentioned up there you don’t have to do this,you can use them to go places, but I don’t know why most users don’t do this, I presume it’s because they’re a bit lacking in confidence to go a few miles round the coast and explore.if I had one I’d use it to go places and explore

That’s the plan, use it for exploring, with a bit of adrenaline rush when its safe to do so. The kid likes his cliff jumping so will be able to find new spots for him ( lights blue touch paper and retires to safety 😉)

That’s the plan, use it for exploring, with a bit of adrenaline rush when its safe to do so. The kid likes his cliff jumping so will be able to find new spots for him ( lights blue touch paper and retires to safety 😉)

Then buy a bloomin rib then.

Thank me later.

Then buy a bloomin rib then

Yup, if it wasn’t on this thread I’d have thought that lost was all about buying a rib or similar

Ribs and their users are barely any better, although I suppose like the Ronnie's sketch they do get to look down on someone so they're happy.

They generally sod out a bit further to sea though rather than just hanging around the beaches.
Although having had a couple fairly close when in a kayak I would prefer for them to sod even further out.

Ribs and their users are barely any better, although I suppose like the Ronnie’s sketch they do get to look down on someone so they’re happy.

I'd say ribs are waaaaay more varied in their use. I've spent enough time in one as a rescue boat, and a glorified taxi, and driving a photographer, and a swim support vessel, and delivering marines and well, loads of stuff to see them as an incredibly varied tool. Whilst jetskis are for uber rad surf support and bellends with precious little in between.

It always amazes me when I see pictures of celebrities bobbing around on them when on their endless holidays. All that time and money and thats the best you can do? If you must be noisy at least learn to wakeboard or something

That’s the plan, use it for exploring, with a bit of adrenaline rush when its safe to do so. The kid likes his cliff jumping so will be able to find new spots for him ( lights blue touch paper and retires to safety 😉)

There are loads of ways to explore the coast without pissing everyone else off.

Tried one years ago and whilst great fun the 2nd go was somewhat boring after you had got used to the go fast in a straight line part.

Rented a SurfJet next time and that was brilliant. Stand up powered surfboard. Needed lots more skill to turn and stay upright.

Apparently you can now buy an electric version.

There are loads of ways to explore the coast without pissing everyone else off.

The point is to explore the bits where the grockles aren’t . Not planning on pissing anyone off.
I’ve got a fast car but I don’t drive it 100mph everywhere I go , only where it’s appropriate to . 70 mph I meant 😉

The point is to explore the bits where the grockles aren’t .

Someone on a jetski is the very definition of a grockle.

But still...get a rib.

My favourite ever bit of schadenfreude involved a jet ski:

We were in a small sailing boat, heading out of Conwy harbour. There was a bit of a procession of boats, because the channel out of the harbout is tidal, so people tend to set off at similar times. There was a bloke on a stand-up c**t ski weaving in and out of the boats, throwing up waves by making sudden turns as close a possible to them, and trying to catch people with a silly littly piddly stream of water that the thing threw up behind it. Someone on another boat eventually told him to eff-off, so he did his best to soak them, laughed, and nailed the throttle towards the horizon...

...and the sand banks.

He didn't spot that the seagulls on the water he was heading towards were standing up, but we did.

The jet ski slid onto the sandbank and ground to a halt. It threw up a huge plume of very sandy water as it did so, and the howling chainsaw engine noise turned into a wonderful strangled gargle before the engine died. He went cartwheeling over the front, but appeared to be un-injured: He was last seen standing in ankle-deep water, tugging at the handlebars of his ski, trying to get it unstuck from the rather muddy sandbank.

Oh how we laughed - as did everyone else.

I've had a few goes on one of the stand-up ones, but as above, the novelty wears off quickly. I now consider them hateful things - they are an absolute menace on Black Rock sands - buzzing kids paddling in the sea, and even if they are kept off shore, the noise they make carries for miles.

I used to have a speedboat for waterskiing and wakeboarding in the sea 20 years ago, used to launch it from Black Rock Sands near Porthmadog. We'd always head out about half a mile and then have a play, everyone else seemed to be on some kind of elastic that kept them within 100m of the shore, it was a bit of a nightmare sometimes coming back because of all the dickheads from Brum razzing about (Abersoch is the same but they are all from Liverpool).

Surfing down at Llangennith a few years ago, and I watched as a boy spent a while launching his jetski from the seaward side of waves, landing on the beach-side downslope as it were. In doing this he wasn't able to see any surfers paddling out, swimmers, etc. After a while, he misjudged it, cartwheeled over the front and obviously hurt himself, but drove to shore and the safety of his dad.

"the police turned up. Said there was nothing they can really do."

In Scotland a switched on cop would realise that jetski + swimmers = dangerous and (at least threaten to) lift them for Reckless Endangerment. I don't think the same offence exists in E&W (it translates roughly to "being a dick in a way that puts others at risk"). Given the type of people who like to Jetski in populated areas, I'd have thought there's a good chance a thorough vehicle check would find some irregularity with the tow vehicle, paperwork or trailer too... perhaps the sort of petty thing that anyone else would be advised about but the attitude test would mean becomes a bigger issue. Do cops not learn the "ways and means act" any more?

I've got to say I've actually had very few bad experiences with Jet Skis/PWCs - because I generally avoid areas where they are likely to be: crowded beaches etc are my idea of hell!

Years ago a wee jetski prick in an anchorage was deliberately soaking the yachts moored there, whether people were on board or not. On his third pass my dad shot him with a marine flare right in the coupon. Can’t condone his reaction, but it got a cheer from the other yachts and the prick never came back.

paino - Is your dad in fine fettle? If so, I might well have a spot for him in my militia (come the revolution and me becoming overlord yadda yadda).

This guy doesn’t seem antisocial.
I used to work for a guy that had one, he was, frankly, an antisocial twunt.
Everything he did was done with regard to his fun only, **** the planet, **** anyone else.
He did go on, at length, about how much fun it was, but I’ll be honest, it didn’t appeal to me.
That adam sword guy linked above, what he does looks like fun though.

W*nker round the corner to me has 2 x Jet Skis.
His favourite pass time when not out riding the Jet Skis appears to be revving them on his driveway for hours on end - usually on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
I wouldn't mind but the engines sound like sh*t - he needs to find a decent mechanic.

A colleague of mine has one.

Gets used a lot up and down the coast and out of the archipelago, mostly for overnight island/coastal hopping camping trips and fishing from various rocky outcrops 15 km from the shore.

I doubt he even knows how far the throttle rotates.

We were out kayaking and snorkelling on Sunday in the coves around Javea, the only noise was the jetskis buzzing past. To be fair the riders weren't too bad, even at cruising speed the noise travels.

There are clearly marked swimming zones to keep boats and jetskis away, plus buoys so no anchoring allowed.

I just looked up the prices and decent jetskis are 15-20k, looks like fun for 30 mins tops.

revs1972

Buy a used standup one and restore it, much better 🙂

Not planning on pissing anyone off

So you're not planning to ever use it within say 2 or 3 miles of any other people? It takes a particularly self centered kind of ****er to see any appeal in these idiotic machines. Ban the lot and shoot the owners.

So you’re not planning to ever use it within say 2 or 3 miles of any other people? It takes a particularly self centered kind of **** to see any appeal in these idiotic machines. Ban the lot and shoot the owners.

Whilst you think your argument is justified - consider for a moment that this is exactly the sort of vitreol presented by Daily Mail readers in the comments section when cyclists hold up their trip to the shops. It is really not a particularly sensible argument that because you don't see the appeal in them that they should be banned and the owners shot.

i quite enjoyed my time on one. its a proper work out. good when its a bit wavey as you can jump them etc quite a challenge and a proper workout. only time i`ve ever bounced on water is when i fell off one at full speed. wife hates them as she is a sea swimmer.

i dont understand why people ride them near swimmers though as you need space to get up to speed to have fun. just riding one around on the flat will be about as exciting as an XC ride in norfolk.

its like all motorised things - they are fun in the right places but you get loads of nobbers driving them.

This guy doesn’t seem antisocial.

He says "she's having her best life" a lot though

So you’re not planning to ever use it within say 2 or 3 miles of any other people? It takes a particularly self centered kind of **** to see any appeal in these idiotic machines. Ban the lot and shoot the owners.

That statement wouldn't look out of place on a rambling website in a thread complaining about mountain bikers.

So everyone thinks people on jets skis buzzing swimmers and making loads of noise are c****s.

Funny that.

So you’re not planning to ever use it within say 2 or 3 miles of any other people? It takes a particularly self centered kind of * to see any appeal in these idiotic machines. Ban the lot and shoot the owners.

Wow, who pissed on your chips… ?
Did you win bully’s special prize of a speedboat whilst living in the midlands ?

It’s quite easy not to be a * . Perhaps you should get a few lessons yourself 😉