[Closed] Jaffas (of the surgical variety)

It's a doddle. 20 mins of discomfort and you are away.

Fixed on the Friday
3 mile walk on the Sunday
Work on the Mondey

Rattled my knackers on the top tube of the bike about 2 weeks later 😯

Op wasn't an issue, haven't got time to describe the worst bit but search my profile and i'm sure i've recently responded to a similar question. It's not painful, just shameful.

The procedure was uncomfortable for a day or two, no worse than a mild ache, but I got an infection in the wound which was more problematic.4 weeks all told before I could bike again.

Still worth it...... 😉

Piece of cake, day after was no probs, it was 2 or 3 days after that is was slightly sore but not much.

The op is nothing to worry about, the lovely nurse held my hand 8)

The waiting room banter was priceless

Clear your tubes thoroughly before getting back 'in the saddle' You can still ensure the future of mankind for a long time after the stopcock has been turned off!! 😯

Yep friday for me, work on monday.

Pretty sore here. The doc struggled with the right plum. The best bit was when he announced that "You may smell something like cooking bacon." As he did the quarterising.

About 45 mins all in - oh you still have a reserve tank inside you that requires regular emptying.

As i found out when i got a letter after my first test saying i needed "to use it more". Used it as ammo for the missus.

Literally.......

So probably not back to work that evening then, but a couple of days is better than I had thought.

Thanks.

When I had mine done, my bollocks ended up the size of grapefruit

nobody warned me there'd be shrinkage 🙁

About 45 mins all in

15 mins for me.

Don't make my mates mistake and slice your sack open with the beard trimmer while clearing a path the night before - cheered up the nurses in A&E though apparently.

Make sure the couch you lie on is warm, or it will quickly become microsurgery, though should be OK this time of year.

From [bitter] personal experience, don't worry about the surgeon not using enough local - he will discover his mistake a fraction of a second after you do. Just trust me on that one.

Be sensible and follow the advice the nurses give you. I had it done Friday morning, only needed pain killers that afternoon, took it easy over the weekend and back at work Monday. Only problem I had was that the wound was cauterised closed (love the smell of burning ball sack in the morning!) and due to some ill-advised "action" the scab came off just before it healed, and it then refused to heal over fully for nearly four weeks.

As a quack who sees the results of this. 95% of the time - no problems - no issues.

5% of the time people end up with something the size, colour and texture or a small christmas pudding between their legs... for a few weeks. And yes - you need two negative tests done about 20 comes afterwards so.... keep your hand in...

I have only seen one which definitely failed... 😀

Got mine done on a Monday and had a week off....procedure it's self was ok, if not undignified. Fairly uncomfortable for a day or two but then both knackers and my k$%b turned a very disturbing colour of purple for about a fortnight afterwards.....i then got an infection that i thought only ladies got. Very uncomfortable and itch'y....quick dose of antibiotics and all's well.

Clear your tubes thoroughly before getting back 'in the saddle'

JD Friday, had an issue finding one bit, he offerred to send me home 'half cock', but I told hime to MTFU and get on with it, I wasn't shaving and exposing to the world again.... 😡
The lovely (and I do mean lovely 21year old blonde nurse) was holding my hand and more.... 😯
I spent the weekend badly bruised and with one 'nippy' stitch. Pulled the stitch out myself after work on Monday and all was fine, if somewhat sore for a week (just bad bruises).

Looking forward (not) to the procedure too , I have a list of phone numbers waiting for me at the docs so I can phone round to see who's got the shortest waiting list.

My bro in law needed jabbing twice due to feeling the first cut 😯 and another mate has needed the procedure doing 3 times before it was succesful.

I got a cancellation and had it done double quick!!

I didn't need to shave, they didn't shave me neither, it was like a no shave type op 😉

Have i told ya the nurse held my hand?

A very good friend of mine had it done on a Thursday and I think it was the following Monday that he woke up on a tube station floor having fainted after someone caught him in the goolies with a swinging briefcase. He then took a few days off work.

How I laughed.

I'm back now after watching the mighty Royals give those welshies what for in the play off semi.

Worst bit was being naked from the waist down 'but keep your socks on, the floor's cold', on a table, having a sheet laid over your nethers, and then your meat and 2 pulled through a hole in it. And then painted brown with antiseptic.

At this point, I didn't care what happened next as long as it was a/ quick and b/ no-one made eye contact with me.

LOL @ theotherjonv - I recognise that feeling!

I'm still wondering who the woman was who gave my tackle a right good feel at the initial consultation claiming to be the surgeon.....never saw her again......

I've just read this thread, and now I've got a little bit of sick in my mouth.

I think I need to lie down.

I'm still wondering who the woman was who gave my tackle a right good feel at the initial consultation claiming to be the surgeon.....never saw her again......

WRVS?

Did she offer you a cup of tea?

[url= http://harrythespiderblog.wordpress.com/2010/11/25/back-in-the-saddle-%e2%80%93-take-2/ ]Bollox blog post [/url]

It's fine mate...

The worst bit for me was the worrying about it in the days before hand.

🙂

I found it pretty painfull (lefty was easy, righty a lot less so). . No purple or black discolouration but very, very sore for 6 days. iPad earned it's stripes in protecting them from the kids when out walking 🙂

I have a list of phone numbers waiting for me at the docs

(Okay, I admit, haven't even had the snip)

F*ck that!
Heard too many horror stories to go for that! Like a friend who had it done and he can feel it pull (with pain) when he . . . well you know. That was after 2 weeks off work with massive swelling and then he found out it didnt work!
Another guy experienced impotency. etc etc

Im not risking that!

Not to mention the guy that had it done only for his missus to divorce him, she can have kids with her new man but hes gotta have an op that maybe wont work if he wants to start a new family . . . .

I'm booked in this afternoon to organise a seeing to. Not worried about the pain, more about the indignity of pissing myself, shooting my last load on the table or having a tent peg moment. I will be making specific requests that all of the medical staff look like this to prevent a trouser accident.
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Once the procedure is confirmed a success I can join the SAS (Saturdays and Sundays) AKA The Territorial Army as a bona fide blank firer...

There is absolutely no way that you will get a stiffie... unless you've got a thing about men in masks with knives.

Danni Minogue herself wearing nothing but her ear rings could have painted the twins with iodine and there wouldn't have been a twitch... I was looking at the scalpels.

It was a while ago, but op mid week back to work the following day, what I do remember was ball stubble…

And the gown that doesn’t cover your arse

Oh yes, I'd forgotten "the stubble"

*shudders*

piece of cake not half as interesting as a colonoscopy ( look up your own bum..) or heart surgery ( watching video a month later and crying when they get to the bit where they use a jack to seperate your ribs..)

Ah yes, getting neutered. I remember the words of the nurse 1 week after my op

"oh dear, it's not meant to look like that" 😯

The stubble, the sal****er baths, the plums the size of grapefruits and the colour of aubergines...

Oh yes, the pain aswell!

Keep clearing those tubes out - Ahem - 😳

You see my mate at work had it done a few years back, and he got told not to shuffle the pack for a few days, so of course the first thing he did when he got home was do just that to see if it still worked. Then his balls swelled up like aubergines. So it's hard to know what's best really.

Well, that was considerably worse than I expected.

I learnt yesterday that local anaesthetics don't work very well, scalpel cuts to the bollocks are as bad as you think, and that it can take quite a while to find a 2nd surgeon to rescue the 1st one.

One of the worst hour and a half's I have had I think.

and that it can take quite a while to find a 2nd surgeon to rescue the 1st one

Did something heavy fall on him or something?

Dropped a bollock?

Dropped a bollock?

Looks that way, from a great height looking at the sorry state they're in this morning.

The 1st surgeon managed the left side ok, but then couldn't get the right cabling out, and after half an hour of basically mashing my plum said something along the lines of "we'll get Mr so-and-so to have a look, he might be a bit gentler being a bloke as well, I don't really know what it feels like". It wouldn't feel like anything if she'd put enough anaesthetic in to start with.

Did they send you home in one of those rather fetching goolie hammocks?

No, missed out on a goolie hammock, just wore my normal boxers with some gauzes wedged in to soak up the ooze.

You've missed out on a treat there. It makes Stephen and the twins look like a baby elephant with tooth ache.