Good luck at the new place Jakester
Thanks all. Spent most of the rest of yesterday being variously cajoled and harangued in turn to speak to my current employer about staying. I've agreed to have a chat, mainly to shut him up, but I know that if I reject whatever they're going to say (which is probably where I'm going) I will be accused of leading him/them on. It's a sort of lose/lose situation for me now.
It is all down to the effect it will have on my boss; nothing really to do with me at all, it will just make his life harder.
I'm left feeling thoroughly drawn out about the whole thing and frankly I wish I'd not done it. I feel I'm being, well, bullied, into discussing something that I don't really want to.
He's off today and Monday, so I am going to spend the weekend stressing about this now. I'm tempted just to tell HR now I'm jacking it in and don't want to discuss it further, but I know come Tuesday (or possibly even over the weekend when he finds out) I'll be in for even more of an ear-bashing.
You should do just that - it is pointless stressing yourself out about it if you have no intention of staying anyway. Either way he'll be having a shit weekend so just do it and put both of you out of your miseries.
Definitely put your notice in in writing if you've not already.
Just tell him ... "it's not personal, it's business"
Just tell him … “it’s not personal, it’s business”
And add that his behaviour is emotional blackmail, getting on for harassment.
Definitely raise with HR but stop just short of making a formal complaint - but don't forget that HR are not there for you; their sole purpose is to protect the company's interests.
I would raise it with HR and ask for a HR manager to be on the next call with your boss
singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/ive-just-told-my-boss-i-have-accepted-another-job/#post-11925436
When I left my last job, with another one to go to, I’d had 10 months of micromanagement, weekly one-to-one meetings, an extended probation and , essentially, bullying by my manager.
Same here...Good money, but the stress was just silly.
Tell him "it's you, not me"
Sounds like you need a 3 month sick note if he's going to carry on acting like that, he'll regret it then!
I had a bit of fun a few years back when I was finishing up my apprenticeship in engineering. The company was in financial difficulties so wasn’t taken on any of the apprentices but was more than willing to offer a very short term contract for the yearly shutdown. Half way through I’d got a job offer so had to had in my notice so went up to managerial offices to see the maintenance manager and talk things through (and to leave on good terms and see if they would consider me at a later date). He was not there so had a long think about how to see next. Just then the site’s manager came up to me and said he wanted to speak with me in his office (he was a right p****k, short man syndrome, there to work and not make friends (his quote), no one like him in the company. “When a manager says good morning to you you’re excepted to say good morning back”, I was really puzzled by this and only realised what he was on about after I’d left the office - I’d clearly not heard him but he thought i’m blanked him on purpose. Que me walking back in to say I might as well give you this (my letter of resignation - he was not impressed). Not only was I walked off site pronto, no one was a load to talk about it and he spread rumours that I’d been aggressive to him and swore at him - anyone that knew me all said it was bo**ocks. Wish I’d got a solicitor in involved for defamation. Changed jobs again shortly afterwards of which new company knew people at my old company, still got a glowing word of mouth reference
Well, just the two phone calls from my boss over the weekend...😳
I checked messages and emails and neither was urgent, so didn't answer/call back.
Slightly reproachful tone when we spoke this morning that I hadn't answered! He's on holiday again today, so will have the final stand off tomorrow.
Having discussed with family over the weekend the conclusion was definitively that I should GTF out now irrespective of any offer my current employer puts forward, and I (unsurprisingly) concur!
Too right - and I would tell my soon to be ex-boss that that is the case and why that is the case.
I have made it clear in my new job that my work phone is turned off at the end of the day and that’s it. I don’t mind working extra when it’s needed and won’t ever leave loose ends but we have staff in over weekends and evenings when I’m not in so there should be no need to contact me.
Thankfully with the “mindfulness” and mental health stuff being very popular nowadays that isn’t argued with.
I have made it clear in my new job that my work phone is turned off at the end of the day and that’s it.
This is our company policy.
As a senior manager there is always one of the three of us with a phone on - but that is emergencies only with staff travelling around the country. Basically none of us are expected to answer anything outside normal office hours, we even have a line on our email footers to confirm this.
Slightly reproachful tone when we spoke this morning that I hadn’t answered!
Ask him if he's going to pay you a retainer to be on call and overtime for any work you do such as "answering the phone" at weekends.
It's been a while but I think our lot get something like £100/week for having their work phone switched on, time and a half for a minimum of an hour and 15 minute increments thereafter if they answer it, and double time on Sundays. Something like that anyway.
Otherwise, "I'm not at work, you're not a charity, bugger off."
(he was a right p****k, short man syndrome,
I've known people like that, a right Planck
I'd similar emotional blackmail when I left a small butchers to start college. Owner was himself and his brother, who had schizophrenia, so wasn't really that capable in the shop, with the owner running the front of shop and me the rear. It did put him in a position I can accept that, but need to be strong and sort yourself out and that in the long run is what is important.
I know the shop shut a couple of years later, but it had been in the same family for 80 years and had paid everyone's mortgage. I would say thats more the state of the trade rather than that one business and me leaving.
Still after 6 or so years there it was tough to be tough and just keep refusing to stay. But as said, you need to think of your own life and own options. Unhappy in work is the worst thing.
Slightly reproachful tone when we spoke this morning that I hadn’t answered!
"What are you going to do? Fire me?"
I’ve known people like that, a right Planck
At least he was constant.
At least he was constant
I'm uncertain about that
I moved from Bristol to Silicon Glen and the first people I ran into in the coffee room were two engineers who had according to the rumour tree at old place been sacked for shagging in the coffee room 😀
Well if nothing else they've got a propensity for hanging out in coffee rooms together. I'd say the rumour was 50% confirmed on that alone.
When i handed my notice in the boss took us all out for a curry and gave me £100 in a thanks for everything card.
You're obviously doing the right thing, mutual respect, if it isn't there resentment follows.
I would ask him if he honestly thought his behaviour towards you was professional and likely to retain you!
I think it's time you gave in. Send him the following:
Okay I'll stay on 2 conditions:
1. Not just match but beat the other place's offer
2. You leave
(Actually, turn your phone off and go ride your bike, they've pissed on their chips, don't give them an inch.)
Okay I’ll stay on 2 conditions:
1. Not just match but beat the other place’s offer
too late for that, but id have had that conversation before accepting the other job. you could have pretty much named your terms by the sounds of it... 3 weeks notice tho!? i would hate that. never understood long notice periods, in my line of work you throw your notice in monday or tuesday and finish on the friday. sometimes even finish immediately and get paid till friday which is a winner. the employer does not want to pay me to sit around clock watching, or pillaging information any more than i want to remain in a job ive lost any commitment to.
get ont sick!
get ont sick!
No, don't do that.
Okay I’ll stay on 2 conditions:
1. Not just match but beat the other place’s offer
2. You leave
Lol!
but id have had that conversation before accepting the other job. you could have pretty much named your terms by the sounds of it… 3 weeks notice tho!?
It came completely out of the blue - despite all this I genuinely wasn't looking, got headhunted so it all went very quickly. And 3 months, not weeks! Though if things start to deteriorate, I'd expect both of us to be agreeable to a shorter notice period. As said earlier, garden leave would be the absolute dream though!
never understood long notice periods
It depends entirely on your line of work. If you have a job then it is (usually) a role which is required by the business. So your leaving will leave a hole which needs to be filled and that takes time. There may also be a period of handover.
I've worked in roles where I've been expendable (and one where my boss explicitly told me this) but replacing a CEO might be a trickier task.
in my line of work
In my line of work you'd likely be escorted from the premises.
If I was the OP, I'd be working to rule and not give a fig what the boss said, did or wanted.
Ultimately you are leaving so what do you care.
Don't forget you're at work - it is supposed to be you being paid to do a job - not a place to go and get bullied and feel stressed by the actions of another. No job is worth your health and mental stability. If this is a real threat, seek some professional advice on how to handle it, as it sounds to me as an outsider like bullying in the workplace.
Essentially, don't let him get to you and imho try not to go sick. No matter what anybody tells you, it can't look too good to future employers.
Right, so, had THAT conversation - they can't match it, so that's that (not that if that had done I'd have stayed after this experience). Boss took it surprisingly well, though is (unsurprisingly) going to hold me to the full three months. Formal written notice going in later this afternoon. Thanks all for advice/support/comedy etc! Now to see how the next three months pan out...
Good luck Jakester, hopefully he'll ease off a bit now they know there's nothing they can do. Maybe keep a diary of any unpleasant incidents just in case though...
In my line of work you’d likely be escorted from the premises.
Someone of my acquaintance was once "escorted" off the premises by armed guards. Desk contents etc were already packed up, on a (few) trolleys when he came in for the board meeting. Boardroom coup; gawd bless 'murica.
And OP - turn your phone off out of hours!
learn to read rosey
Formal written notice going in later this afternoon.
You should have done that on day1, you'd already be 3-4 days through your notice period now!!
Make sure you book all the holiday you're entitled to, too.
leaving will leave a hole which needs to be filled and that takes time
In which case the stroppy boss should have spent his time starting the recruitment process rather than wasting time hounding the OP.
When i handed my notice in the boss took us all out for a curry and gave me £100 in a thanks for everything card.
That's a classy boss. I'm sure if circumstances changed you'd go back.
To the OP, just stay professional. In general people who are given a counter offer and accept, still leave within six months. Your boss has not behaved well, perhaps if they had shown how much they valued you before... People join companies and leave managers.
