[Closed] I've just eaten a phal...

I think Johnny Cash wrote a song for you 🙂

You've an onerous task to equal blutone's infamous thread, but I have faith in you (and your soon to be ruined anus). Keep us posted...

Ooh I like Phal.

We tend to keep the sauces (they always give you way too much sauce when you order a takeaway!). We then freeze it so we can use it ourselves another time. It's lead to some "interesting" times around the table when we've mistakenly whipped the Phal out of the freezer instead of a madras 😆

I'm not aware of said thread. Not much going on which an unusual reaction for me with hot food lately. Still feel like I'm over core temp though...

I think Johnny Cash wrote a song for you

I don't think i've ever braved one while sober. Was a semi-regular thing as a student after a night out - we always kept a toilet roll in the fridge for the morning after a Phal - If you think getting them down the top end is painful just wait till they come out the other end!

I've only eaten one once, it was very hot going down. I made the mistake of drinking to much afterwards and ended up puking it back up. Having a phal being pressurised back through the nasal membranes is not an experience I ever want to repeat.

I'm nervous. I have an important business meeting tomorrow morning.

Good luck for tomorrow! And LOL @ ace

I once ate a phaal that the (80yr old) chef said was the hottest curry he had ever seen prepared, and just dipping the little finger in for a taste had all my friends running for the nearest tap.

It was ludicrously hot.

The Dorset Nagas I have in my freezer on the other hand will completely change your perception of how hot a "food" can be.
The last chap who ate a whole one turned blue and an ambulance was nearly called as he had difficulty breathing.
I won't be eating one again in a hurry. Unless money is involved. 😀

🙄

If it'll make you feel any better, a naga curry is even hotter. It's the only curry I've not managed to finish.

We used one hazelnut sized naga in a big pot of chili and it was pretty much inedible to most people.
I'll grow some more this year but only for dastardly shenanigans.

[img] [/img]

Yep. A Naga chilli is waaay past what I could take 😕

I went 15 minutes before succumbing to a glass of milk, and managed to keep my composure the whole time, but really I thought I was going to die. 😆

Forget milk.

Banana. Trust me 😉

Ooohh naga pakoras are a good one to hand out to unsuspecting mates.....
Poor old Jonah was discovered in the garden on his back with the outside tap running into his mouth!

Vaseline before your first movement of the day maybe?

bearnecessities - Member
Forget milk.

Banana. Trust me

Oh great. I don't like bananas.

Well, 3.5hrs in an not even a fart. Something highly unusual is going on.

Well don't eat stoopid curries then!

Something highly unusual is going on.

Your system is in shock. And probably planning its revenge.

Hopefully your business meeting isn't sandwiched by a lengthy train trip or car journey. Good luck.

Ring of Fire was written by June Carter.

[img] [/img]

Oh great. I don't like bananas.

Well, 3.5hrs in an not even a fart. Something highly unusual is going on.?

are you hoping for a fart that would be the last thing on my mind dont think i'd dare.

Get some of these:

[img] ?v=3[/img]

Heaven for the chilli damaged balloon knot.

Blutone's thread ?

Is that the tale of the office toilet, and trouser round ankle's, and ending up on the floor and somehow manage to pebble dash the next cubicle..... ? or did i see that on LFGSS

Epic tales on that theme on LFGSS, thread about selling a FOFFA bike turned into pages of crap. Won't link as some where graphic and a bit rude for here.

Burn baby, burn, disco inferno....will it melt a plastic toilet seat ?

Ooohh naga pakoras are a good one to hand out to unsuspecting mates.....

Blutone's is the picolax one, right?

[url= http://singletrackmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/the-picolax-thread-returns/ ]Picolax[/url]

I would get in some practice for doing hand-stands in the shower if I were you ... 😕

Well, the warm midriff glow is cooling down now. But, that's still the only reaction I've had. No vile smelling gas, no sudden urge to do a poo, no acid reflux.

Nothing.

I have a horrible feeling my body is deliberately waiting for tomorrow's meeting to reveal to the audience what I had for dinner the previous day.

I am (as you know) a wuss in all things spicy but my mate Rob is not.
Even he commented after one spectacularly spicy meal that the burning urine was a surprise the next morning. Enjoy the meeting 🙂

friend of mine was bet £300 he couldn't eat a phal by itself with a spoon and nothing else, the kitchen staff came out to watch but he managed it, he then went to a drum n bass night at the fridge and spent the night in a squalid bog with fiery ring death. he hasn't done it again but he got a cheque for £300.

Good grief, I've dropped a log in the Fridge many years ago under normal circumstances and would never do it again.

I've dropped a log in the Fridge many years ago

I haven't lived.

Possible sweepstakes.

Kryton57, nip off and weigh yourself.

As/IF/when you start firing on one or two cylinders.

How much weight will Kryton blow out ? 🙂

12st 1/2ib. I'm usually 11st 13.5 by 7am so well see if any activity results in a difference.

I'm off to bed now, I'm leaving the iPad in the bog so I can post live updates a la twitter.

Still feeling good 🙂

leaving the iPad in the bog so I can post live updates a la shitter.

Is there a hashtag on twitter to follow this?

I reckon it's dissolved his innards like that Ebola virus does and now has no way out. Hopefully not to death though.

I often eat a naga in the local curry house. The chilli gives a great flavour so it's not just hot with nothing but hot flavour, this is normally achieved by curry houses using just cayenne pepper to heat things up rather than chilli. My farts are awesome during the night, often wake myself up. Wife normally sighs as I order one up as she is aware of what will happen in the next 12 hours or so.

Kryton, tomorrow:

[IMG] [/IMG]

Well, here it comes or so I thought. But no, just a round of early morning extreme flatulence although the warm midriff glow has now gone. Back to bed then...

Ah ha.

I had to get back up. Well that was what I'd consider to be a normal movement, sorry to disappoint.

That's just yesterday's lunch getting out to a place of safety. I reckon by 10am at the latest your arse will sound like a load of old shoes falling out of a loft.

Gutted about the outcome so far!

That's just yesterday's lunch getting out to a place of safety

This.

Much like a decent symphony, it's only the second movement when the action starts to get going.

For me round one after a curry always seems normal, it's rounds two and three that make me wince!

Never tackled a phal, had a few hot vindas though.

They were just testing you, next time you order you'll get the full experience...

I gotta be honest. When I saw the title, I thought it was the start of a "coming out" thread. Very disappointed.

Epic tales on that theme on LFGSS, thread about selling a FOFFA bike turned into pages of crap. Won't link as some where graphic and a bit rude for here.

Don't read it in the office folks.

[i]I've dropped a log in the Fridge many years ago[/i]

I'll never look at kitchen appliances in the same way.

Did you buy it from Currys?

[awesome]Quite enjoy a good phal now and then. I sweat a bit while I'm eating it but otherwise no probs. First one back in my student days was distinctly underwhelming after all the build-up.[/awesome]

As is this one. I've managed to get through the morning ok with absolutely no sign of the phal. It's athough I hadn't eaten it.

In e last two years - I like hot food - my to,ere de for hot & spicy has dramatically. Reduced to the point that having "hot" marinade in Nando's , means a. Rest on the pan before leaving. It's not just Nandos marinade either. So it's really confused me that a curry hotter than the sun appears to have completely vanished - if you'll forgive the pun - up it's own arse.

It might not be on its way out but i think its messing with your head!!

In e last two years - I like hot food - my to,ere de for hot & spicy has dramatically. Reduced to the point that having "hot" marinade in Nando's , means a. Rest on the pan before leaving

Good man for the update. 🙂

I've found that it's only fresh chilis that give me the Cash Rash. Cooked up in sauces it's much less of an issue.

That's just yesterday's lunch getting out to a place of safety. I reckon by 10am at the latest your arse will sound like a load of old shoes falling out of a loft.

So skip rat - that's ispelling for you.

I was stating my tolerance to hot food has reduced dramatically over the last two years....

thegreatape - Member

That's just yesterday's lunch getting out to a place of safety. I reckon by 10am at the latest your arse will sound like a load of old shoes falling out of a loft.

^ One of the funniest comments I have read on here. Genius!

Good to know kryton, for a second there i thought it was melting you from the inside out!! 😉

Ha. Weirdly, I'm not...

This thread is the reason why I keep coming back to STW 😆

Kryton....keep a bog roll in the fridge...you'll need it when you've got that
[url= http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/b/e/collegehumor.6017b52b0a0d939b6be8cdced1bc0b4a.jp g" target="_blank">http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/b/e/collegehumor.6017b52b0a0d939b6be8cdced1bc0b4a.jp g"/> [/img][/url]
"fire in the hole" moment

we also have a healthy stock of assorted chillis in the fridge/freezer...consisting of a few bhut jolokias,some dorset nagas and loads of naga moriches in addition to the standard green finger chillies...
we also have a few jars of this stuff too
[url= http://www.scorchio.co.uk/images/mrnagapickle.jp g" target="_blank">http://www.scorchio.co.uk/images/mrnagapickle.jp g"/> [/img][/url]
this pickle is 70% naga morich (the dorset naga is a substrain of this)

Proper lol'ed in the office - how embarrassing.

+1. I'm now trying to stifle aftershock giggles. Good job most of the office left at 5.

OP can I thank you for cheering me up with this thread. Ta very.

We've got a curry challenge in our squadron, Xacutti from Jamura in bath that they spice up for us, 7x hotter than a vindaloo they claim.
After completing it I had burning ears, face and pretty much all my insides. Then cue being woken in the night with crippling stomach pain.
Still, didn't chunder like 50% of the people who tried it!

It could get worse. My stomach is grumbling I like mad now and I. 20 mins I have a hard turbo session. I'm really hoping that the drops/TT position I'm about to spend an hour in doesn't force things along - although I do have a an outside toilet next to e mancave, bib shorts aren't always akin to quick removal.

bog roll in the fridge

The local curry centre owner has a very nice box on the parcel shelf of his car, something seen regularly in other cars around town. After a late night stuffing as much as we could manage, my brother and I decided that these pretty boxes actually contained a chilled bog roll, for obvious reasons. Either that or the charred ringpieces of previous victims...

Have you had any poos today other than this morning? If you have then you may have slain the monster. If not then I would approach your next visit to the pan with great caution. And savlon.

Not yet Yossarian.

I just applied so,e chamois creme with utmost caution so as not to cause a disturbance. Hopefully the next hour will go smoothly.

I have a hard turbo session

ooooh, you're going to sweat it out. Maybe wear goggles, wouldn't want phaal in the eyes.

I find a proper hot curry blocks me for a bit. Just to let you know like...

See now I'm worried for you. If there is molten evil lurking within you that oh so innocent turbo session make have woken the shit demon from his slumber.

Good luck and don't try and hold it in.

Still not blown yet ! the horror to come.

2 tales of cycling action 🙂

Got chatting with an ex-pro roadie at the Core show, somehow we got on the topic of a rolling poo, or in laymans terms, how to have a dump mid peleton.
The method involved taking one roadie cloth cycling cap, stuffing said cap down your bib short's and getting it just in the right spot so you can crimp one off straight into the cap.
Withdraw cap cafefully, and hand to some unsuspecting spectator who assumes he has nice race souvenier 🙂

Greg Lemond in his tour days had gastric flu. Being a pro he kept riding. No one would draft him and he was easy to find in the peleton as there was big gap behind him.
His sickness seeped through his tights, down his legs and saddle, and dripped onto the back wheel......and sprayed anyone who got too close 🙂

Will Krytons bike have it's paint stripped by phalpoo, will he follow through. will he make it to the bog in time, will the bib's be a hurdle to clear too many.

Will look back later, lets be carefull out there 🙂

Well if turbo sessions were wind powered I'd be top of the charts. No action yet, but whipper snapper was right, I seem to have spicy/garlic sweat, which would have been an issue but it start raining so that watered it down.

My bowel area does feel warn now- like my midriff yesterday do I think the phal is definitely moving through. A matter of time I think...

I hinted at an epic thread on LFGSS.

Been back to check it out and cry laughing.

One tale of doom involved the use of a tub of ice cream, but it didn't quite touch the old starfish, frozen brussel sprouts FTW

Could be a handy hint..... if/when you blow Kryton57, although you may well have cast iron innards.

Will check back tomorrow for updates 🙂

It might not be on its way out but i think its messing with your head!!

Skiprat has previous with hot curries.

And... KABOOM! Just when I thought it was safe...

I had to get up at 5am this morning for a Journey to Oxford. So, always fine until I felt a bit "windy" at approx J19 anticlockwise of the M25 - those that know the M25 know that this is a pinch-point where the traffic is traditionally slow for 10 miles to the M40, where I needed to get off.

As I was about to let go, I got that "I'm not so sure this is a gas-only event" type feeling and quickly clenched to avoid another hour travelling in soiled bestest work-suit trousers, and having to dash to an Oxford M&S to get an emergency backup pair for the day.

However, I as proceeded through the traffic the urgency of course got worse, and worse and worse - I was really struggling by the time I rushed into Beaconsfield Services on the M40.

Suffice it to say an explosive series of eye watering events lasting nearly 30 minutes occurred. I am left with a svere case of "ring-sting" - I would go so far as to say it feels like 3rd degrees burns.

I've rushed into my office for the day just now only to repeat a shorter version of the same event. Again I have a 10-12 business meeting so I'm hoping that I can get through the post event repetitive tremors before 10.

Whatever happens, I'm not comfortable "sitting" in the slightest 🙁

*Note to self - Phal was a once in a lifetime event*

Christ, it burns... 😥

😆