Is my wife having a...
 

  You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more

[Closed] Is my wife having an affair??

62 Posts
38 Users
0 Reactions
119 Views
Posts: 13356
Free Member
Topic starter
 

She left the house this morning at 06.45 to go to work & still hasn't come home (20.45) 11 miles away, should I be worried?


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:43 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

You sure you went home to the right house?


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:44 pm
Posts: 0
Full Member
 

Canary Wharf?

Tubes shut, so too DLR.

Expect to see her about 3am.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:44 pm
Posts: 2305
Full Member
 

If she's not prearranged dinner for you, yes.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:45 pm
Posts: 9440
Full Member
 

Ask her if she minds you buying a ridiculously expensive bike. If she says no not at all - then yes she is.

But at least you'll have a new bike.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:45 pm
 Drac
Posts: 50352
 

Does she work for the NEAS? If yes then no sure's not and will be at least another hour.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:45 pm
Posts: 25815
Full Member
 

Whoever it is, If he (or she) can last that long "at it", you're never getting the wife back


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:45 pm
Posts: 251
Full Member
 

She's a manager in retail, isn't she?


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:45 pm
Posts: 50252
Free Member
 

Hold on a minute, I'll just pop downstairs and ask her.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:46 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Is there a reason why your first thought is she's having an affair, rather than; her car broke down, she fell asleep at her keyboard, went shopping etc?

I'm assuming you've phoned her?


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:47 pm
 MSP
Posts: 15473
Free Member
 

Is this question just laying the ground work for a new patio?

"No your honour, I was so concerned I even asked on STW, I had no idea she had fallen into the hole I was later to fill with concrete"


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:47 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

She's asked me to say no, it's not an affair.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:48 pm
Posts: 17779
Full Member
 

Hold on a minute, I'll just pop downstairs and ask her.

What? She's not upstairs? Well that's OK then.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:49 pm
Posts: 50252
Free Member
 

Ian, are you in the dungeon as well? I thought I heard a noise....

Slowoldman - As above, one wouldn't have a dungeon anything other than downstairs, as I'm sure you'd agree.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:49 pm
Posts: 12329
Full Member
 

Is my wife having an affair??

Don't be daft!

She's just left you.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:55 pm
Posts: 346
Free Member
 

It's Milly and Eg, it's text book stuff


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:55 pm
Posts: 0
Full Member
 

She's a bit tied up at the moment - any message?


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:56 pm
Posts: 50252
Free Member
 

Lucien, not you as well?

Is everyone in my dungeon?

FFS! What does a chap have to do for a little privacy these days?


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:58 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Depends what job she does...........
Or how badly you've been treating her..... 😆


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:58 pm
 Drac
Posts: 50352
 

FFS! What does a chap have to do for a little privacy these days?

Media room.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 8:59 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

CFH - essel's missus told me to let you know the woman you have is an imposter


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:00 pm
Posts: 8819
Free Member
 

You're all laughing but this lad hasn't had his tea yet. IT'S NEARLY BED TIME!
Plus, what if he needs a shirt ironing for the morning, you hadn't thought of that, had you. And who's going to put out the gas lamps?


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:01 pm
Posts: 17273
Free Member
 

If she's not having an affair, she might consider it after she reads this thread 😳


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:01 pm
Posts: 11
Free Member
 

Just enjoy the peace and quiet as it will end. It always does.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:01 pm
Posts: 31206
Full Member
 

Flashy how the hell are you able to type in those thick rubber gloves and fake nails?

In fact, how can you even see the screen? I thought we'd zipped the eye holes shut.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:02 pm
Posts: 13356
Free Member
Topic starter
 

Phewww (?) She's back just now. Another long shift at Harrogate District Hospital.
That's nurses for you!


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:02 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

[quote=esselgruntfuttock ]Another long shift at Harrogate District Hospital.

I shall make a note of that euphemism


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:04 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

She's a nurse?! 😯

They're the worst! Have you not seen that documentary 'Carry On Matron'?


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:10 pm
Posts: 32265
Full Member
 

Playing doctors and nurses then?

Not dungeons and dragqueens


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:11 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

That nurse uniform isn't NHS standard issue.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:13 pm
Posts: 22922
Full Member
 

FFS! What does a chap have to do for a little privacy these days?

Well the safe word would be a start, Followed by switching off the webcam.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:15 pm
Posts: 17779
Full Member
 

Slowoldman - As above, one wouldn't have a dungeon anything other than downstairs, as I'm sure you'd agree.

Ah. Confusion on my part brought on by living in a bungalow.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:16 pm
Posts: 6409
Free Member
 

She left the house this morning at 06.45 to go to work & still hasn't come home (20.45) 11 miles away, should I be worried?

same here

she left a bit earlier, and isn't due home until 10pm, its a bit further at 15 miles away though

to be fair though, if mine is, it

a) serves me right
b) gives me some free time
c) saves me a job
d) i think she's still someones wife anyway

winner winner chicken dinner


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:16 pm
Posts: 5890
Full Member
 

I sent her back, I was fed up of the constant whining.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:18 pm
Posts: 3139
Full Member
 

Does she work for the NEAS? If yes then no sure's not and will be at least another hour.

Drac...hahaha! If I worried about everytime p20 was late home....


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:21 pm
Posts: 6409
Free Member
 

She's a nurse?!

They're the worst! Have you not seen that documentary 'Carry On Matron'?

champion shaggers the NHS, the reason its on its knees (ok, ok, clam down) is half the staff cannot work together due to relationship policies


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:23 pm
Posts: 1
Free Member
 

She'll be home in a bit now I've finished. Careful, she's full.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:23 pm
Posts: 13356
Free Member
Topic starter
 

I'm both happy & sad that she's home.
Happy cos....err, she's home & ok.
Sad cos I was watching some NHL & now she's telling me about the kid who almost 'crashed' cos the crash team took ages to arrive etc etc etc!
Talk about spoiling a good night in!


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:28 pm
Posts: 785
Full Member
 

Bugger! My wife's just come back!


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:31 pm
Posts: 8819
Free Member
 

What's for tea then?


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:31 pm
Posts: 50252
Free Member
 

watching some NHL

OK, so we can all agree that this is an acronym for surfing the one handed web, but I for one am struggling to work it out.

Nice hand lotion?
Naughty hidden lob-on?

Please confirm.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:31 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

[quote=esselgruntfuttock ]now she's telling me about the kid who almost 'crashed'

Little willy?


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:32 pm
Posts: 6409
Free Member
 

Sad cos I was watching some NHL & now she's telling me about the kid who almost 'crashed' cos the crash team took ages to arrive etc etc etc!

😆

almost similar,

mines due through the door, champions league on and she works at Rampton 😆


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:33 pm
Posts: 2661
Free Member
 

Have you stopped her pudding ration ?


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:36 pm
Posts: 13741
Full Member
 

[quote=esselgruntfuttock ]I'm both happy & sad that she's home.
Happy cos....err, she's home & ok.
Sad cos I was watching some NHL & now she's telling me about the kid who almost 'crashed' cos the crash team took ages to arrive etc etc etc!
Talk about spoiling a good night in!

Aye always get the shift debrief when mrs b comes home, I could lecture on midwifery. Then 30mins later she's Zzzzzzzzzz


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:36 pm
Posts: 50252
Free Member
 

pudding ration

So.
Many.
Euphemisms.

Can't cope.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:37 pm
Posts: 13356
Free Member
Topic starter
 

esselgruntfuttock » now she's telling me about the kid who almost 'crashed'
Little willy?

No, a 2 day old baby who was pretty close to death, (actually) but ya know, all in a days work eh?

and she works at Rampton

Much respect to yours mate. Really.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:37 pm
Posts: 50252
Free Member
 

Well, that fun stopped quickly. 😐


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 9:53 pm
Posts: 2305
Full Member
 

We've still not found out what she's made for tea yet. Plenty of fun left.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 10:10 pm
Posts: 25815
Full Member
 

what she's made for tea yet
I assumed it would be (hidden) sausage


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 10:13 pm
 Drac
Posts: 50352
 

Drac...hahaha! If I worried about everytime p20 was late home....

My Mrs use to comment about it too, jokingly.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 10:17 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Mines still out. Not seen since 8am this morning. I believe she came home at 6pm and got changed and went out. But I was tinkering in the garage. Not fussed about her coming home, she had cauliflower farts last night , so having the whole bed to smell free and to myself tonight would be great. 😯


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 10:29 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Damn, she's home and had garlic !!


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 10:36 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

My Wife/Nurse gave up ward nursing in favour of Community Nursing, it's 9-5ish and a fugging nightmare - my PlayStation/GoldRush/BikeFettling time gone, Bosch!

She doesn't even work nights any more!!


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 10:44 pm
Posts: 0
Full Member
 

Mines over at the Albert Hall having watched some old French crooner go through the motions..

At least that's what I think she said, could be she's with an old French crooner watching his Prince Albert go through some motions... 😆


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 10:44 pm
Posts: 11
Free Member
 

Thrustyjust - Member
she had cauliflower farts last night

I thought they grew in fields. Note to self to always wash cauliflowers before eating.


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 10:45 pm
Posts: 13356
Free Member
Topic starter
 

Typical! Now she's gone to sleep on the settee & I feel like talking!


 
Posted : 03/11/2015 10:57 pm
Posts: 27603
Full Member
 

Thats odd, mine was out until past 11 last night as well. Maybe there was some kind of Wives Trade Union meeting going on.

Best watch out for subtle changes around the house...


 
Posted : 04/11/2015 9:29 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Ian, are you in the dungeon as well? I thought I heard a noise....

Slowoldman - As above, one wouldn't have a dungeon anything other than downstairs, as I'm sure you'd agree.

CFH...you kinky devil you.. 😉


 
Posted : 04/11/2015 10:49 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Phewww (?) She's back just now. Another long shift at Harrogate District Hospital.
That's nurses for you!

Hmm, I would still be worried. Was she limping?


 
Posted : 04/11/2015 2:36 pm
Posts: 19
Free Member
 

If you want to check ask to borrow her phone, if she says no or is reluctant then she probably is


 
Posted : 04/11/2015 3:16 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Thats odd, mine was out until past 11 last night as well. Maybe there was some kind of Wives Trade Union meeting going on.

Best watch out for subtle changes around the house...


What like housework, hovering and dusting being done ? I would know something was definitely up, if that got done in our house. Especially when I am sitting down watching tv with a cuppa in my hand....


 
Posted : 04/11/2015 3:24 pm
Posts: 27603
Full Member
 

hovering

Yep, I notice if she was hovering alright...


 
Posted : 04/11/2015 3:38 pm

6 DAYS LEFT
We are currently at 95% of our target!