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With all that is going on around us, I can't help thinking the same thing. Although I can see the logic behind it, I feel really bad and guilty about it.
For the first time in nearly 2 years (yes, nearly 2 years) I'm glad Lyanda isn't here. I don't mean that in a horrible or selfish way, just with her reoccurring pneumonia and other quite severe health issues I honestly don't know how she would have coped and got through this.
Does the way I'm thinking make me a bad person? I certainly hope not as that's not what is intended, but I can't get past this for some reason.
Perfectly normal I'd have thought.
Sounds like you'd be wanting the best for her.
Seems a reasonable reaction to me. Thats because you love her and cared for her and do not want her to struggle thru this.
You're thinking that out of love and caring, Gnusmas, that cannot make you a bad person at all.
I'd hate to have the stress of having family with underlying health issues through this crisis, I can definitely see your line of thought.
No, not wrong to think it at all. You're not a bad person, you're a good person who not only cares but thinks about caring.
No, not wrong at all. I’ve been thinking that I’m glad my Grandma who was a life long smoker and died of pneumonia, managed to get the care she needed at the time... She more than likely wouldn’t have done in the current climate
I was thinking same in relation to my dad, and my father in Law, both of whom passed away last year. Quite a normal thought process in such a time I reckon.
I had a friend die from cancer at 49 about 3 weeks ago. Another friend who is a virologist and now working on the virus remarked that it was a mercy he died when he did as his palliative care might have been very different now and in the coming weeks/months.
Of course it’s not bad to think that way. Trying to protect her even now is natural surely. No doubt if you had the chance to bring her back, you probably would in a heartbeat and they would be partly ‘selfish’ reasons. Imho thoughts like this are inevitable throughout life, they are just musings. All good people have bad thoughts (not meaning these are) that does not make them bad people in any way. It’s the people who act on those thoughts who we strive not to be.
I hope that comes across as intended. These are difficult times for everyone, but you have been dealt a more difficult hand than most, everyone is behind you.
I echo what everyone above has said. Completely natural thing to think.
Not at all my friend, I wrote something similar
I’m taking some comfort that had Carolyn still been alive I would have been in a constant state of dread with her advanced MS (she had aspiration pneumonia twice) and us having carers in so I could go to work.
Everyone copes with stuff in different ways.
I cracked a 'joke' earlier about holding back from repaying my mother in law twenty quid as I might get away with not paying it....
I just (and I mean just) managed to make wife laugh at that. But it was a close run thing.
So one of my ways of coping is to make silly jokes and hope no one gets too offended. It is a strategy that has had mixed results in the past....
I think it's perfectly natural, to show relief that someone you loved dearly isn't in any danger of further suffering.
To question yourself clearly shows you aren't a "bad person"
As above. It's your way of saying that if she was here you'd be very concerned with the situation.
In no way is this wrong.
Hubby and I were saying only today, how glad we were that his mother and my father didn't have to go through this. They both had lots of health problems.
As it was they died with their loved ones being with them for the last week or so of their lives and they were looked after.
Keep going gnusmas. Post on here if you need to.
+1 for it not being wrong to think like that, not sure how my dad would have coped or us with him if he was still around.
It's not wrong, it's care.
Mrs_oab has primary immunodeficiency and multiple chest infections and pneumonia a year.
I'm terrified of her getting it, it won't be good.
I thought today that although I'm sad my mum passed away 3 years ago I'm glad she's not living through CV with her dimensia & associated health issues. I'm worried enough about my perfectly healthy for his age 83 year old Dad
I've been genuinely worried my logic and reasoning for thinking it was wrong. Seems to be a normal and natural line of thought by the looks of it. I'll try to stop beating myself up about it now. Thanks all, and many (socially distant) hugs all round
Absolutely normal Gnusmas. The last thing any of us want for our loved ones is avoidable suffering. These are pretty scary times with no obvious end or mitigation. My mind has gone to some dark places this last week.
Hi Al- I'm passing tomorrow, I'll wave as I pass. I'd call in but I don't think that I'm allowed to do so.
Worrying about your loved ones who are at risk when you’ll probably be ok is the hardest part.
Today is 19 months since my wife’s heart transplant. I’m more than a bit concerned.