[Closed] Internerd Dating help

my wife was sold on me in a photo wearing an outdoors coat on top of a mountain... good conversation starter too.

ooh - I started having a look at these recently too. I'm too chicken to do much so far, can't decide if now is the right time for me

Are you using Plenty of Fish or one of the ones you have to pay for?

Strikes me its a pretty brutal game and a very thick skin is required

especially as it was held wide open and he had nothing on underneath...

tyre preference?

You need a picture of you (or someone better looking) cuddling a dog in front of an Audi TT.
Girls love that sort of thing.

cuddling a dog in front of an Audi TT

Chuckling at this. 🙂

You need a picture of you (or someone better looking) cuddling a dog in front of an Audi TT.
Girls love that sort of thing.

My good friend is currently internet dating to find a life partner/ suitable victim and has been sharing her experiences with me, top of the list is photography.

You need a picture ideally one taken many years ago, on holiday, in the best possible circumstances. The kind of picture that one might have taken of oneself perhaps twice in a lifetime, it is imprerative you look nothing like your photo I'm told.

If you have a decent income, preferably wear some kind of uniform to work and have a strong desire to be completely smothered I know just the girl for you.

Use this for your profile pic.

[img] [/img]

You'll be beating them off with the shitty stick.

That's a very good find Mike!

[i]taken many years ago[/i] - check

[i][s]on holiday[/s] in Bristol[/i] - check

[i]in the best possible circumstances[/i] - that guy's eating my dust, so check

[i]The kind of picture that one might have taken of oneself perhaps twice in a lifetime[/i] - check

[i]it is imprerative you look nothing like your photo [/i] - here's the problem. I'm actually almost exactly that gorgeous in the flesh. 😀

Be yourself. You'll attract alot less hits but you wont have mentalist/pointless dates either.

**** wading through the chaff to get the wheat.

Be yourself.

This is terrible advice. I am a cretin. 🙂

hora - Member

Be yourself. You'll attract alot less hits but you wont have mentalist/pointless dates either.

Yeah, imagine having a date with Hora..

Have you thought of an ad in classified section of this site?
Open to offers / will split.

Surely casually mentioning being a regular poster on stw is all it takes?

imagine having a date with Hora

Hora, if you're putting yourself down as "woman seeks emotionally stunted man with high income in SW London for meaningless, unfulfilling sex" then this is definitely a possible. PM me. 😉

I've always been myself. Although not in anyway a 'catch' I've always attracted similar girls to me (in a good way). If I created a new image/persona I might have ended up with nutters.

Depends on your track record with lasses though- do you have a type that you attract? Has it been you or just circumstances why you split?

Are you too obsessed with bikes?

You need a picture of you (or someone better looking) cuddling a dog in front of an Audi TT.
Girls love that sort of thing.

Sure it'll be girls?

Be aware that any single female over the age of 30 is either ugly or psychotic.

😉

Watching this thread with interest...

I am too.

Mainly for the follow up postings when said Clapham venues have been visited, and dirty sheets hastily straightened in trying to make a good second impression...

Ignore hora. Not only would he f--- a frog if it stopped hopping, but he's a new parent and must be having a lack-of-sleep induced psychosis.

Be aware that any single female over the age of 30 is either ugly or psychotic.

To maintain the overriding theme of this site:

Fit, sane, single. Pick two.

If I created a new image/persona I might have ended up with nutters.

One can't help suspecting that there's a few girls you've met who feel they've fallen foul of that particular one...

To maintain the overriding theme of this site:

Fit, sane, single. Pick two.

Pick two

I am really not that fussy at this stage. 🙂

And I have two sets of impeccably bachelor-ish sheets which are kept in good order at all times. Do you take me for an amateur? 😉

Ignore hora. Not only would he f--- a frog if it stopped hopping, but he's a new parent and must be having a lack-of-[s]sleep[/s] [b]sex [/b]induced psychosis.

fixed that 😉

- DPM plastic sheeting

😆

I have no idea what to write...but I really am looking forward to hearing about the dates which haven't gone so well.

EDIT: It helps if you've used shitloads of fabric conditioner on your bedclothes and have hung them out to dry in the fresh air. Chicks dig that shit lots.

Pyjama's aren't good (especially your Superman ones).

Make sure your eyes look deep and mysterious, with a hint of sadness...you'll be like a walking piece of velcro 🙂

A girl I used to work with told me about the more interesting dating sites...

The ones were likeminded people cut to the chase. She regularly visited them as she loved having threesomes with married people (shes bi-sexual) 😯

Be aware that any single female over the age of 30 is either ugly or psychotic

I have two friends who are over 30 and single. If I was single I'd consider them keepers- banging my head trying to work out why both girls keep meeting utter wierdo's. Heck even when I was drunk I offered a sharing arrangement (I know) 🙄

All men over 30 who are LONGterm single are:
- Are too close to their Mother
- Live with other likeminded males like perpetual students (who never grew up)
- Commitment-shy.
- Have an almost autistic-obsession with a hobby?

And I have two sets of impeccably bachelor-ish sheets which are kept in good order at all times.

Just make sure the vinyl hasn't perished.

You could always put down you ride a !7" and 19" at the weekend? 😯

It can be a highly enriching experience I'm sure.

My chum has had her house decorated, garden sorted and furniture moved by a succession of amourous suitors who had more enthusiasm than sense, don't fall prey to mercenaries.

Demonstrate a sense of humour don't tell people you've got one.

All men over 30 who are LONGterm single are:
- Are too close to their Mother
- Live with other likeminded males like perpetual students (who never grew up)
- Commitment-shy.
- Have an almost autistic-obsession with a hobby?

Dont really agree with this I tend to get the feeling you dont really need as many men as women. There seem to be a lot of men who marry some one their own age have a family then leave and start again with a younger women. If all men were to do this you'd only need half as many men as women, but obviously they dont.

garden sorted

I met my wife on an internet dating site.

My advice would don't take too much notice of what people write on profiles most of it is made up. Speak on an instant messenger service to get a better idea, & then phone before meeting

If only.

He did a complete revamp anmd landscape and then she binned him.

Since her divorce she seems keen to punish mankind for the failings of her ex..

NO PICS WEARING BUDGIE SMUGGLERS

[url= http://tech.uk.msn.com/news/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=153415381 ]Stalk them for charity...[/url]

I met my man on a dating website 🙂

The things that attracted him to me was:

a) He had 'normal' pictures but also photos of him mountain biking which was a really good talking point

b) He was funny in his messages but wasn't trying too hard

c) He remembered all the stuff I said to him and referred to things in later conversations, which showed me that he wasn't getting me mixed up with loads of other girls he was talking to 😉

d) He took it slowly, messaged me for a few weeks, had a couple of phonecalls and then asked me out on a date.

e) He was up front and told the truth! Very important...if you lie about yourself on a dating site, you WILL get found out eventually.

We now live together and have both never been happier (cheesy, sorry!). Does any of that help?

That's both rather sweet and very helpful satsoma. 🙂

That's both rather sweet and very helpful satsoma

Glad I could be of service! If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.

And good luck in your search! 🙂

dont hit on her FFS she has a partner 😉

One of said friends was on Match- a bloke she was talking to her suddenly sent her a full-frontal nude of himself via email. wouldn't normally be a problem (she said) however this was out of the blue- conversation hadn't even turned to carnal activity..

According to the ladies in my office, that's not a great photo...

However, the postie (she's quite cute) is interested to hear about your massive income, and would be willing to overlook the photo evidence...

A girl I used to work with told me about the more interesting dating sites...

benaughty.com?

There is one site I know of (I won't say which as I don't really want a ban), but

Go on....

****book?

facebook of sex?

You always come across on here as being intelligent with a great/wicked sense of humour. If you can get that across, then you're a winner.

Good luck.

According to the ladies in my office, that's not a great photo...

Thanks for conducting this research Nick. A diploma from the University of the Bleeding Obvious is in the post. 🙂

second half of the address is heaven and the first part is what monkeys like to do.

eat bananas?

humpingheaven.com?

eat bananas?

what monkeys like to do.

eatbananasheaven.com?

climbheaven.com?

eatnutsheaven.com?

Monkeys like to do it when they are in a tree and it is also a term for what some couples like to do...

Ah i see

😉

[url=www.singletrackworld.com]www.holdontothebranchesreallytightlywhilemakinggibberingsoundsandoccasionallyeatingbananasornutsheaven.com[/url]

My work google-browser is filling up with some really fruity words! 😆

You're welcome, I thought I'd share, you know..?

You're quite the topic of conversation, there are some suggestions worthy of the name...

A lunch date suggests a bit of class, and perhaps more importantly avoids the obvious "coffee" moment. Further to this, eating with your mouth closed, using both pieces of cutlery simultaneously, and knowing which ends to hold seem quite important. Cheesy but true; a sense of humour is important, and Star Wars is not a topic of conversation... Smelling nice and clean, neat hands is important, in depth knowledge of the off side rule/the works of AC/DC less so.

More if they're not smutty (the postie seemed keen...really)

Monkeys like to argue in trees?

Bunnyhop, that's a lovely thing to say, thank you.

Chaps, it's been instructive, as ever. 🙂

BD, post work, nipping down to Clapham for something sweet....

[img] [/img]

It helps if after a few bad dates, you talk about them a lot.

Obviously you shouldn't ask her to buy the roll of DPM from the builders merchant 🙂

You'll probably want a photo of you wearing just jeans with either a child or a puppy (or both?) flexing "the guns". Oh, black and white or soft-focus would work too.

Probably.

I'd leave any mention of money well and truly out of it.

[img] [/img]

Show your sensetive side by mentioning that you use shampoo, not soap when washing your hair. (assuming you have hair)

If you really want to weed out the losers, put a footnote saying something like . . . "whiners need not apply"

I hear Fitness Singles is quite good.

Mention of income is unnecessary IMO. Might actually put me off if I was looking on dating sites.

Humour is important and I agree with Bunnyhop, you do seem quite amusing 😉

Just to counter what some people have said..... I have several friends who are in their 30s, single, lovely, and not bonkers - that pick 2 thing is nonsense.

Try WSOTG.COM 😉

What about afternoon tea at Fortnum and Mason, If it doesn't work out you're only 2min from Soho

Just to counter what some people have said..... I have several friends who are in their 30s, single, lovely, and not bonkers - that pick 2 thing is nonsense.

There is one in every group of women, and if you don't know which it is, then its you!

That was a bit harsh and uncalled for MSP. I know Anna and she is totaly normal .
She does, however, ride a [s]clown[/s] bike.

Just to counter what some people have said..... I have several friends who are in their 30s, single, lovely, and not bonkers - that pick 2 thing is nonsense.

On the other hand, some girls are single, lovely and likely to outshine 90% of blokes, which tends to put them off 😆

say that your 5ft2 with shoesies and like the feeling of lycra against your skin, that aught to do the job

on a serious note, why would you mention the wage? that just gives a nutter a chance to rape you for every penny and the rest, saying that the sex would probably be good!

I have several friends who are in their 30s, single, lovely, and not bonkers - that pick 2 thing is nonsense.

Well my wife was all 3 before I married her (IMO!) but now is none...did I ruin her?

I once said that 'pick two' thing to a girl that appeared to defy it, meaning it as a compliment. We were in a romantic situation and she was quite offended, not that offended though. Is the STW accepted knowledge so out of touch?

Anyway, good luck big dummy, you probably come across best face to face in a relaxed setting (I imagine) so go with and once you get through the awful first stages it'll get easier, or so I'd imagine. I know nothing about this and I've been single for ages. So my advice is worth almost nothing. All the best!

talking about ruining your wife on a public forum is pretty full on! haha

Well, are you 100% certain that you are ready to "move on"? In other words you need to clear your head and be comfortable with yourself and who you are.

Would suggest just being yourself and definitely echo bunnyhop's comments. 🙂

Be careful with how you mention your [s]obsession[/s] hobby, assuming mtb is the main one. Would definitely recommend getting a decent pic taken, after all, do you want to resemble a candidate for rogue's gallery?

Agree with singletrackmind's defence of annabananna, MSP's comment was out of order.