Nobby Jr has been badgering me to let him set up an account as "everyone at school's on it and using it instead of Facebook". Whether that's true or not, I've always resisted on the basis that I've read/heard a lot of bad things about it i.e. bullying, happy slapping, links with teenage suicides etc All of these seem extreme and, I guess, are highlighted in the press because the media loves a bad news story.
I know it seems odd to ask about this on an interweb forum but some real world experience of kids & Instagram would be appreciated as I'm, apparently, ruining a 12 year old's life at the moment.
If it makes you feel any better, Facebook owns Instagram.
I'm, apparently, ruining a 12 year old's life at the moment.
At least you're sorted in your old age - with that sort of flare for the dramatic he's obviously going to be an actor...
🙂
Not really, Jamie.
More interested in anyone that's had experience of the [i]bad[/i] side of it.
I use it as a picture blog for this image a day thing i'm doing. My 14 year old sister is on it and I get to see all her updates. It's a complete yawnfest of grainy selfies and her mates commenting guff.
Let Jr use it but add them to an account of your own so you can keep an eye on it if it makes you feel better.
More interested in anyone that's had experience of the bad side of it.
In the brief time I was registered, I saw loads of [s]purposefully out of focus[/s] artistic selfies and pictures of people's dinner made to look a bit like Polaroid Instant Camera pictures.
That was bad enough.
my kids use it, ages 7, 11 and 19. I don't but the missus is on there too and keeps an eye. All good so far, the elsedst has been on for ages and uses it more than Facebook. Middle one isn't allowed Facebook but enjoys Instagram, youngest has a passing interest but posts amusing pics of his big bro 🙂
My eldest (10) is on it. We set the following rules:
* I follow her account
* Her account is protected
* She only follows people she knows
* She only accepts follow requests from people she knows
* We are allowed to look at her iPod messages whenever we want
Pretty much the whole of years 5 and 6 at her school have accounts (90 kids per year group), so she has about 100 people she shares pictures with.
We check through it weekly, or more; sometimes with her with us, sometimes without.
I prefer that she's on there to Facebook; I didn't want our family having to worry about the fact she'd see their statuses and so have to consider/filter what they shared.
It's also much more 'disposable' - she changes her username fairly frequently and has already binned one account and started again. Facebook feels far more permanent.
Thanks chaps.
Can you actually see everything they're up to? I heard a piece on the radio a while back that was saying kids like it because they can hide stuff or cover their tracks.
Check the privacy settings! Mate's 10 yo daughter got on it on her tablet and a few weeks in he found a lot of very unsettling messages on it before deleting her account and everything else... Difficult when parents aren't aware just how unprivate things are by default.
My 14 year old has it. I prefer her to use it more than facebook to be honest.
All of Miketually's points there.
I'm following her so can see all she posts, and we know her password so can edit if we need to. Not that we have, I think the knowledge that we can prevent anything inappropriate on there is enough.
we also are on her facebook and know her passwords so can intervene if we need to. That has been required a few times, like when she was 12-13 and PM's got a little too familiar with 17 year old boys (she did know from the unders nights in the rock club). Probably harmless on their part, but a 12 year olds crush on older boys can be a problem, best prevent that before hand if we can.
I am still gobsmacked by the amount of parents letting their kids use social media without any form of guidance.
EDIT:
we have however restricted her to facebook and instagram. she can't come up with any reason other than she would like tumbr and snapchat to justify the additional risk from other apps.
We just asked her what she wanted them for. Mostly to post selfies and pics and chat with mates. She can do that with Instagram and facebook.
My 10 and 14 year olds both have it, Miketually's basically covered it all.
More generally we've been talking to both of them for a number of years about how to use the internet, they're both fairly sensible and so far we haven't had any major problems. They also get classes about it at school. They also both know we have their passwords and will check up without warning if we need to.
Instagram is just a way of sharing images. I'm more worried about the SMS'd images which don't go through social media channels. Junior 1 is 10 and I've had the frank conversation about why he shouldn't take pictures of his bits, but he's not not getting a phone with a camera until peer pressure really kicks in.
OH christ my lad will ask next year based on the ages on here - FWWI they are aware friends have FB and use but they have no interest in using it themselves
Thankfully mine have no interest in the modern desire to overshare the minutiae of their life on the internet - yes I am aware of the irony of posting that on a forum.
If kids have their own laptops/smartphone/tablet, whats to stop them setting up their own private Facebook etc. accounts without asking permission?
Is there some way you can lock down their internet access?
Making kids aware of how to use the internet is fundamental. Of course, without scaring them.
We ran through scenarios about some pictures she had taken of herself, basically copying a lot of the pics she seen of he mates, same age and older than her (mostly older), asking her if she minded her mates seeing it, anyone at school seeing it,then asking her if she'd mind her neighbours seeing it, or that guy down the street you don't know seeing it.
If the answer is no, then don't post it. Took her a while to realise mobile uploads on facebook are automatically set to public unless your profile is private (or it was).
Then ran her through a delete/undelete as she didn't believe that it's difficult to properly delete files. Didn't tell her how to properly delete stuff though..;-)
She's scared some of her male school mates with that info. They thought as soon as you deleted something it'd gone. guilty young people....lol.
Oh, BTW, if your kid has an android phone, and are concerned with what they send out/receive, get Airdroid. Allows remote access and locates the phone, security wipes etc too. tell them it's good to back up their phone with.
I am liam neeson.
Actually, no I have a daughter with Aspergers who fell into the wrong crowd when she was 12 (one of which is now very pregnant, at 14). Apps like this were essential ways to make sure she stayed as safe as possible. Helicopter parenting...
Instagram is just a way of sharing images.
It's a bit more than that, there's chat + commenting too.
somewhatslightlydazed - Member
If kids have their own laptops/smartphone/tablet, whats to stop them setting up their own private Facebook etc. accounts without asking permission?
Nothing.
Is there some way you can lock down their internet access?
There are lots of ways to do it - but realistically none of them are much use, unless you want to be Victorian Dad / Mum. All of the girls in my eldest daughter's class have smart phones, social networks and the like - without making her the weirdo in her class, how can I stop her using them? (Answer: I can't.)
The only real solution is education, make sure they know where the limits and risks are, and then keep an eye on what they're doing.
If kids have their own laptops/smartphone/tablet, whats to stop them setting up their own private Facebook etc. accounts without asking permission?
Nothing at all. This is why we look at our daughter's iPod directly - though even then there's nothing to stop them uninstalling the Facebook app everytime they put down their iPod and reinstalling it when they pick it up again...
Is there some way you can lock down their internet access?
You can, but they'll get round it, go to a friend's house, use neighbour's WiFi, find a service you've not blocked...
IMO, the internet is no different to the real world. Once they're out of your sight you just have to trust that you've given them enough sense to act sensibly.
Instagram is just a way of sharing images
If that were true I'd not have bothered posting. Having seen how quickly a single photo can turn into an (albeit inadvertent) bullying campaign, I did some searching & found many negative stories. It was this that made me post my question.
Thanks Miketually et al, I think it's time for a chat with the young 'un & the Mrs (as she'll likely be the one keeping an eye on him) and a trial period.
