Incident at School

Well it sound like the parents aren't going to be much good/take on any advice so give your son a pair of bombers and let him rip.

Hope the little one is ok, not nice at all 🙁

Speak to the school ASAP. Don't go in all guns blazing, speak to the teacher/year head/head. All then the questions you're asking us.
I'd expect the school to be speaking to the other child's parents and keeping a close eye on their interactions with your. Incidents like this are rarely isolated so I suspect there's already stuff going on at the school to deal with it.
You should also have an injury report slip at that age I think
If any of the above isn't satisfactory, then kick off, but give the school a chance first, teachers have an often impossible job.

Easy for me to say from a distance, but right now nothing. See what the school are doing about it and then take your guidance/cue from that. FFFF, you say you don't have them yet.

Maybe if you do need to do something, contact them, tell them your understanding of the situation and ask if your understanding is right and listen to response and probe gently on what's going to happen next.

School should bollock the kid and tell his parents. Thats about it really. 6 year old kids be 6 year old kids. If it happens again, and then again I would be thinking about speaking to the school, but now, not really.

IMHO

Kids are kids, rough play happens...

Assuming your lad is OK and you feel the school has handled it appropriately. Stick with that.

Talk to your lad to check in that it isn't a bigger issue with the other kid

Not to be flippant but kids hit each other. By the end of the year, your kid might have smacked another one.

Talk to your kid about what happens when emotions get too big or play fighting goes too far. Also make the point that its not okay but it wasn't the end of the world. If the other kid has problems at home - do what you can to be generous and be grateful it's not your kids.

Well it sound like the parents aren’t going to be much good/take on any advice so give your son a pair of bombers and let him rip.

yup sure my dad would have just told me to hit him back twice as hard next time but i'm not sure that kind of advice is still "current" or advisable these days (or ever).  🙂

Hold the little ****s arms behind his back and tell you son to let rip.

As the father of a 6y old in a nice school - I'd also say you should do nothing.  You've been informed, the school will have procedures for this and they'll be followed.  If it happens again, then might be the time to request more information, but not now.

No pudding for a week.

Drop kick the kid, next time it coukd be a dog’s face.

Thanks all. I was assuming nothing would be the best response.

I've just not been in that situation so wasn't really sure what should happen.

My son seems fine and so as long as the school raise the issue (which i have no doubt they will) i'm happy.

My wife is a little bit more emotional about it than me.

I agree that boys will be boys and rough play happens but its my understanding that my son said somthing he didn't like and he just ran over and walloped him in the face - which is slightly different in my book.

I think its happened before just not to my son.

Does he have a lawn... or a dog?

OP
Get your son to point out the kid,then wait at the gates at drop off/pick up time.
Once you spot the parent/parents,walk over and punch one or both of them in face.
At the same time ,shout loads of abuse about failed parenting and that the child is already a lost cause.
😉👍🤣

not a bullying thing either, i think just a game that got out of hand.

In that case, leave it with the school to sort it out. I don't see the need for escalation at this point.

find a kindly old Japanese chap who needs some free labour  to have his collection of classic cars polished and fences painted.

find a kindly old Japanese chap who needs some free labour to have his collection of classic cars polished and fences painted.

I will however be speaking to his karate teacher about some ROI for the last two years of lessons!

I will however be speaking to his karate teacher about some ROI for the last two years of lessons!

By not reacting, he will have done exactly as he's been taught I would assume.

ROI for the last two years of lessons!

wax off wax on ?

By not reacting, he will have done exactly as he’s been taught I would assume.

correct, i mean he should have blocked it!

correct, i mean he should have blocked it!

Fair enough

The puncher should have it explained to him by a teacher why it isn't ok to punch people and should apologise to your son understanding why he his doing so.

That really should be the end of it.

What he needs is to recognise the situation where he is about to be hit and get out of it before it happens, not block it.  If it means not playing with / saying things to the bad kid then so be it.

This is easier said than done, I finally think we've turned a corner with my soon to be 9 year old boy in recognising situations which may turn into a fight

He is now recognising the kids that cause trouble and thankfully choosing to play with others.

Its been tough to get him to recognise and avoid the bad uns.

and yes I've 'labelled' them bad, I know you apparently arent supposed to but it they hit my son, or bully or tease then they are bad kids in my view.  There are so many people in the world there is no reason to waste your time with bad ones

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face…

M Tyson esq.

Devil's advocate and I am not a parent:

I'm sure that like every parent you think your own is perfect, but I would put it to you that a 6-year old is an unreliable witness.  As Jon suggests, the four Fs apply here - First Find the Blinking Facts.  For all you know your lad was the instigator, had been tormenting the other kid for weeks until that kid lost his rag and lamped him one.  Then your kid comes running back to his parents, "Harry hit me!"

The story as presented isn't implausible either, of course.  We had one at school when I was around that age, he liked to kick.  He'd run up to you, punce you one in the shin and run off.  What if anything happened ultimately I don't know, point is that some kids are little shits.

Use some bombers to hammer frozen baby robins into his dog’s shoes.
From orbit…it’s the only way to be sure.

I'm reminded of another tale.

A mate of mine has daughters, one of whom was a proper tomboy.  The teachers noticed that she was often bruised, bruises which later became apparent were from the climbing frame she was lobbing herself about on at break times.  They queried it with her and she blurted out "daddy hit me."

There was a grain of truth in this, he'd given her a tap on the leg for being naughty the previous day.  But shit got real, real fast.  Social Services were involved, conversations were had around taking her away and putting her into care.  It took weeks to unravel.

Let the school deal with it.

We had a kid punch my son in his very recently broken arm, unfortunately his dad was in our friends circle and simply didn't see the problem and was a total dick about it, he often encouraged his son's cartoon violence, it took the head explaining to him several times that what his son did could have had serious (surgery) repercussions for the penny to drop that maybe some parenting was required.

Surely the lad owns shoes and your lad needs to pee?

School should bollock the kid...

I'm guessing it's a while since you had any involvement with a school.

.

I’m guessing it’s a while since you had any involvement with a school.

I mean, i'm 48 so it's been a while since I was there, but the school that my 2 kids go to would definitely reprimand a kid for punching someone in the face. Christ my kids school mark you down for forgetting your shin pads!! Maybe bollock was the wrong word though....

They queried it with her and she blurted out “daddy hit me.”

So I have a kid in reception, and one of the first things they said as part of the parents welcome stuff was that we no longer have secrets from the teachers. Our kids will (and do) tell them anything and everything with no regard for phrasing or context.

my understanding that my son said somthing he didn’t like and he just ran over and walloped him in the face

Chat shit get hit is a lesson you're never too young to learn;-)

I'd be finding out what my son said first, then going from there as to whether he needed a talking to about actions and consequences as well as the kid who hit him.

I mean, i’m 48 so it’s been a while since I was there, but the school that my 2 kids go to would definitely reprimand a kid for punching someone in the face. Christ my kids school mark you down for forgetting your shin pads!! Maybe bollock was the wrong word though

A restorative conversation is more likely than a bollocking or even a reprimand these days.

Contact the school.

Although they should have contacted you first.

Stuff happens and the school will follow a process.

However, primary schools sometimes need reminding of this while secondary schools are more tuned in.

Did he use one of daddy's special words?

See what the school say

my son said something he didn’t like

I'm guessing there are more details there. Was the something a reasonable something or a highly inflammatory (to a 6 year old) something?

But yes, a one off incident is a concern but only that. Multiple incidents or evidence your lad's behaviour has changed because of it is where I'd say you need to get involved with the school about it.

I’m sure that like every parent you think your own is perfect, but I would put it to you that a 6-year old is an unreliable witness. As Jon suggests, the four Fs apply here – First Find the Blinking Facts. For all you know your lad was the instigator, had been tormenting the other kid for weeks until that kid lost his rag and lamped him one. Then your kid comes running back to his parents, “Harry hit me!”

It was told to us by the teacher. I only said i didn't have all the facts as it was relayed to my wife not me directly and i've not had a chance to ask either the teacher or my boy. But for the record he is perfect.

The story as presented isn’t implausible either, of course. We had one at school when I was around that age, he liked to kick. He’d run up to you, punce you one in the shin and run off. What if anything happened ultimately I don’t know, point is that some kids are little shits.

its plausable because its what happened. I love the way you've gone straight from him getting hit in the face to being a little c-unit that deserved a good shoeing 🙂

I’m guessing there are more details there. Was the something a reasonable something or a highly inflammatory (to a 6 year old) something?

I've been told they were all playing a game where everyone gets a role, he didn't like his and was playing up.  He was then told it was his turn to be what ever it was and tough luck  - this was the catalyst.

I’ve been told they were all playing a game where everyone gets a role, he didn’t like his and was playing up. He was then told it was his turn to be what ever it was and tough luck – this was the catalyst.

Plenty of teachers and people who work or volunteer with young people will tell you that a lot of kids missed the opportunity to learn to play nicely and take turns through lockdown

same sort of thing happened with our boy, repeatedly. most around rules and him telling the bad uns they are not following the rules, which then resulted in an altercation

the answer was dont play with those kids. learn that whilst you maybe right some kids (and adults) are special and do not react in the right way.

im bascially trying to get him to make adult decisions about engaging with ****wits.

if he cant learn that lesson he coukd well end up saying the wrong thing to a kid with a knife.

so i would focus not on bollocking the other kid but on your kid and how they respond to situations. like i said up there the key is they learn to assess the situation before an incident happens and either deescalate or avoid

I have 2 kids - one the same age as your son.

It's not unusual for him to come home with talk of "X hit me".  After a chat they all turn out to be games that got a bit out-of-hand that end in a bit of pushing etc.  No action required.

However, 5-6 year old's do not usually go around punching each other in the face (in my experience) - what's being described needs does need some follow up IMO.

I think all I'd do is have a chat with the teacher and make sure they are aware of the incident - if they are, no action required.  If not, I would let them know, as it may be part of a wider (or escalating) pattern.  We are friends with one of the kids in my son's class who has had a few incidents of angrily lashing out.  The school have had multiple constructive conversations with them about what might be causing it, what they can do etc.

Other than that - the usual advice applies:  "oh, he/she doesn't sound like somebody that you would want to be playing with" and "let me know if anything like that happens again"

I think all I’d do is have a chat with the teacher and make sure they are aware of the incident

If you read it through....the school rang the OP's wife. That's how the OP knows about it.

If it is a one off let it go. A primary school won't rip the offenders kids head off as our cuddly little society we live in doesn't let it happen but he will get a bollocking. If its repeated start to be mildly concerned. Speaking as someone who has 30+ years in primary schools and is now avoiding spending my lunch time writing accident reports.

No pudding for a week.

I came here for this!

When my kid's friends (6 and 7) decided to slap each other in the face, the school started a 'keeping hands to ourselves' group with the school counselor. The group had an hour a week for around half the year. The parents were asked if they would let their kids participate and were told why. This happened before the parents heard anything about it from the kids. The school actively nipped it in the bud across the 1st-grade classes. I think there were around 8 kids in it. It has worked well from what we heard from the parents. The kids are young and driven by their emotions; they don't know a lot better, really.

The kids are young and driven by their emotions; they don’t know a lot better, really.

Quite, and as also said further up, they are unreliable witnesses, which is why: "give your son a pair of bombers and let him rip"; "Hold the little **** arms behind his back and tell you son to let rip"; "Drop kick the kid, next time it coukd be a dog’s face"; and "walk over and punch one or both of them in face" etc aren't exactly a good way to respond in this century.

Sorry, I found this type of language quite disturbing when referring to a 6 year old.

I could be going out on a limb here but, regardless of what century it is, a sense of humour in these situations is never a bad thing. I don’t think anyone is seriously suggesting any of these things take place.

I’d just have a chat with the teacher and ask  that they monitor the situation. Six year olds aren’t in control of their emotions and these things unfortunately happen. Repeated behaviour of this nature isn’t good and the kid clearly needs some guidance or the OP needs to wee in his parents shoes.

I don’t think anyone is seriously suggesting any of these things take place

I know I see that, I just found it too aggressive in this context.