[Closed] Incessant non sleeping screaming child

I was going to suggest reflux but it sounds like you've covered that one. Our eldest had her cot propped up on blocks at one end for a couple of years which helped with the reflux.

Aye...done the raising bed thing too.

He's an absolute angel by day...and demon by night.

He'd better remember all this before carting me off to a nursing home!

Not being funny here but is he hungry ? Until we started to create what i sometimes feel is a mini foi gras our little girl was a bad sleeper. Since we have been stuffing her we do not hear a peep from 7-7 (teething excepted). We worked out that it was because as she moved to solid food and breast she was still hungry. I just keep giving her food now, good food obviously not a mars bar at 11pm, i tend to stick to milky ways that late at night 😉
Beyond that you have my sympathy. Could be teeth as well.

It's simple. You & your good lady wife just need to stop humping
[url= https://www.sciencenews.org/blog/growth-curve/babies-cry-night-prevent-siblings-scientist-suggests ]It's science.[/url]

Unlucky. Was also going to suggest reflux. In your position, I'd consider co-sleeping. Our 17 month old used to wake on the hour every hour, feed and sleep for another 50 minutes. Then I started popping him next to my sleeping wife and slowly, surely, he's begun sleeping through in his cot. Secure in the knowledge that if he needs his mum, she's only a wail away.

Could be worse, my daughter ate part of the wall in her bedroom. Seriously.

He eats solids really well and we avoid foods at teatime that we know give him trapped wind.

The most frustrating thing is that we have no idea what's wrong. Docs have seen him umpteen times but say he's fine.

Worse thing is he wakes up in the morning at 5am with a big beaming smile as though the last horrific 10 hours have never happened...and me and his mum are like zombies.

Ox - very interesting...must have my genes

DavidB - you didn't decorate with Willy Wonka's lickable wallpaper did you?

DavidB - I would say WTF but with a 14month old i can only nod sagely and understand entirely how that can happen.

Well as it's 0347 on a Tuesday morning, I consider myself to be in exactly the same boat as you. Been up since 0215 with an incessant screaming 15 month old daughter. She's been saying breakie so took her down for toast in case she's hungry. Now all she wants is peppa bloody pig. Every time we try to get her back down she screams. Co sleeping won't work she thinks it's play time.

I've got ones of those buddy. The only way we can get a half decent sleep is if he sleeps next to his Mum. All the recommended techniques failed, doctors say he's fine, no reflux etc coming to the conclusion that's just the way he is right now. Polar opposite to his older sister who slept great from early on. I can only offer you empathy!

Sounds 'normal' for a lot of people I know :0(, and they are too exhausted to fix things!
However worth keeping an eye it any clues eg wind as others have mentioned, itching / scratching, possible allergy type things; irritation from detergents etc;
Are they hungry, do they look tired but cannot sleep?
Are they on formula, some swear by a bottle before bed as a top up.

'Good' sleepers will generally be in a routine so if all else is normal and nothing medically untoward, is there any way you can force the routine. Eg nice wind-down before bed (bath, relaxing stories etx), and lie near them for reassurance.
Gradually wean them of the dependence on you..

Failing that yours might just have a broken sleep sensor :(, return to store for a replacement!

Silence is golden.. duct tape is silver

Is he overtired? My three were all the same, if they didn't have a good two hour nap in the day ( at the age your's is) they were up and down all night ... Most other parents scoffed but over tired kids just don't sleep as well.. Just a thought, the 'symptoms' sound very similar. Does he sleep in the day?

We had this with one of our three. Two years of maximum 1 hour of sleep.

Again, we went through all the medical stuff and the comfort stuff.

In the end, we just worked out it was a control thing and that became a habit.

We warned the neighbours, and had three nights of screaming. He literally lost his voice and had a sore throat. We just left him to it, and repeatedly took him back to bed silently.

It was tough. It took real effort and teamwork to just ignore a clearly upset child - but it was of his making, and life could not continue as it was.

But, since then he has slept through, although still the worst sleeper in the house. He is now 12.

I hope you work it out OP.

With one of our two I ended up sleeping on the sofa with said small boy sleeping on my chest.

Apparently it's not advised as you can move and crush/suffocate them, but they survived fine and it got my wife some decent sleep.

I'm not going to be able to supply a tale of cheer our son didn't sleep through the night until he was 3 and not consistently until he started school. Same pattern as the OP - constant waking, demanding chest/bottle bright as a button at 6am the next morning.

We should have done the controlled crying thing more consistently but, frankly, it was easier to just microwave a bottle or shove a nipple in his mouth and know you could get another 1 or 2 hours sleep. When we did try it my wife couldn't really cope 'He's distressed'.

When he was born we told the placenta was slightly calcified but no more than that. We recently found out this may have meant he was getting enough nutrients in the last stages of pregnancy and was constantly 'hungry'. Even now (he's 17) he gets very agitated if there isn't a meal available when he was expecting one.

One thing, when you're both tired and stressed and it's 4am it's easy to fall out over trivial things. We had a 'what's said in the night stays in the night' rule - it saved a lot of day time stress.

Our daughter was far better.

One thing: They both slept on their fronts. Our son wouldn't even be put down on his back. We looked at he risk factors (income, smokers, type of property - all significant markers) and we were very low risk.

The best bit;

Wait 10-15 years (I know, but you have to play the long game as a parent) when it's time to get your teenagers out of bed for school you can walk into the room, bright and breezy, throw the curtains open and spend 5 minutes chatting to them in an animated way whilst they lurk under the duvet muttering swear words. I loved it 🙂

Sounds like its become habit to me if no medical reason. How to change it, well good luck with that one!

It's simple. You & your good lady wife just need to stop humping
It's science.

Our little one is sleeping through OK most nights, he obviously knows he's nothing to worry about on that score 😐

He often spends the evening screaming for no discernable reason, but seems to get it out of his system, or just wears himself out for bed time.

She's been saying breakie so took her down for toast in case she's hungry

he only way we can get a half decent sleep is if he sleeps next to his Mum

They are in a habit of waking, nothing more (probably !)

Good luck, it feels horrible breaking them out of it , but it is so worth it

The best bit;

Wait 10-15 years (I know, but you have to play the long game as a parent) when it's time to get your teenagers out of bed for school you can walk into the room, bright and breezy, throw the curtains open and spend 5 minutes chatting to them in an animated way whilst they lurk under the duvet muttering swear words. I loved it

There's something really heartwarming about that grunting, tortured animal noise a teenager can make when you wake them up early, isn't there? 😈

In the end, we just worked out it was a control thing and that became a habit.

We warned the neighbours, and had three nights of screaming. He literally lost his voice and had a sore throat. We just left him to it, and repeatedly took him back to bed silently.

It was tough. It took real effort and teamwork to just ignore a clearly upset child - but it was of his making, and life could not continue as it was.

This. It's a behavioural problem. Buy and read Toddler Taming by Dr Christopher Green, 99 pence on Ebay, it will be the best 99p you ever spent.

Blooming heck. Beginning to think it's luck of the draw. Our first (14 months now) has for the majority of the time slept like an angel from the off.

We're considering to try for our second but I don't think I could cope with so little sleep if it turned out to be a monster.

Thanks andyfla for the wise words, and that worked for you, but not us. For many reasons leaving him to scream his head off doesn't work for us, one of them being that it wakes his 2.5 year old Sister. One non-sleeping child we can just about deal with.

Unfortunately you are rewarding them for their behaviour - we followed the advice in the toddler taming book

Yep, tried that. But when it gets past 5 mins and there's seemingly no end, we don't feel it's beneficial at all. Last night is probably a 1 in 4 occurrence and I genuinely believe she thinks it's the morning and she's ready for play and breakfast. Interestingly, as has been said, it occurs when her day nap has been interrupted as yesterday she woke herself up coughing.

But when it gets past 5 mins and there's seemingly no end, we don't feel it's beneficial at all

we had about 3 nights where it had to go over 10 mins, but breaking 6 months of habit was never going to be quick . having said that his behaviour changed quicker than we though.

very diff situation with another child, funnily enough our older one - he was 5- slept though fine.

i have found the little buggers won't read the book though, makes it very difficult 😀

18 months of c.1hr at a time with our first (now 2.5yrs), sleeping through only really started when he became much more physically active (i.e. walking all the time). You may be at this stage now though OP? If not, then perhaps something to attach some small hope to?

I can't offer a solution to the crying however are you both getting a night out? Or even a sleepover/break? (take turns occassionally).

It does wonders for the mind/body - you wouldn't believe it.

Do you have a cellar or a shed ?

We've got 3 kids, now 8, 6, and 2, and the middle one was a ****ing nightmare that was broadly equivalent to your situation OP. Feel for you, it is hell.

basically, what matt_outandabout said was what we needed to do. Strong, coordinated, loving and consistent. Finalyl cracked it when she was 2.

She has turned into the most beautiful, inteligent, wonderful daughter, and at age 6 is showing that the massive obstinate streak has turned into a (mostly!) positive atribute.

Kids, eh, gotta love em!

Have you tried Ashton and Parsons? In the King household this is also known as baby crack. Its predominantly for teething however it has a soothing affect for most things. Honestly, if you've not tried it give it a go.

not read all the above as i'm not that interested, but my sis-in-law has a hair dryer app on her phone.

it plays the noise of a hair dryer and seems to send her screaming baby to sleep.

Leaving you with the sound of a hairdryer every night.

Speak to the health visitor and gets child physiologist in. We had one and out really helped, basically her advice was, if you go in when they are crying then it reinforces that there is something wrong. They think mummy and daddy have come in so there must be something wrong with me. When you look at it this way and start to do controlled crying then we found it really helped.

I'd take with a pinch of salt anyone who says 'this is your problem' on an internet forum. It may have been the problem for their kids, but every situation is different. Unfortunately they often have the same symptoms. My kids for example only sleep well if they [i]haven't[/i] had a nap.

Fortunately my eldest understood the concept of things needing to be done the proper way. So we were able to convince her that you should be asleep cos it's night time, and that's the way things need to be. Also foruntately we went through this through autumn and winter when it wasn't light at 5am 🙂

black out blinds are your friend

We had this - at one point he was waking every 20 minutes and I nearly lost my mind... Tried everything in Toddler Taming and various other books, checked with docs that all was well, took advice from health visitors etc - none of it worked. In the end, this is what worked for us:

1. Co-sleeping - we put a single bed in his room, when he woke I'd go in and put him in bed with me, and he'd usually sleep much better. That way husband still got sleep so he was capable of work in the morning, I got a fair bit of sleep and at least started the night in my own bed. Had to put up with a lot of judgmental crap from various people about it, but by then I frankly couldn't have cared less.

2. Accepting that he was a bad sleeper, and it was just a matter of time. Once we'd gone through all the possible causes and tried various solutions, I talked to my family and discovered that we are a family of lousy sleepers. I didn't sleep through til age 2, my brother's kids didn't sleep through til age 5. Accepting this and giving up the search for a magic cure that would suddenly sort everything out was very important for me. It helped me realise that we just had to do whatever we needed to do that would keep us sane, and the rest would come with time.

Our son finally started to sleep through more often than not aged 2, and it's now unusual for him to wake in the night - he'll be 3 in July. Co-sleeping wouldn't work for everyone I'm sure, just like controlled crying doesn't work for everyone - but you just need to work out whatever you can do to keep yourselves sane. Good luck!

black out blinds are great and we always used them but can cause problems if you try and get them to sleep elsewhere - we ended up covering one of the sleeping pods in our tent with blackout blind material as the kids didn't wake up when it got light at 4am that way...

Baa Baa blinds are your friend for travelling - they have sucky cups on them to stick to windows - truly awesome

Edit - but won't make any diff for a pod in a tent !

our chap was not good at sleeping through at all until ~18months

co-sleeping didn't work, night feeds didn't make any difference, nor did pre-bed feeds.

after we did the fixed bedtime routine & somewhat controlled crying thing. he's a lot better now. maybe its what we did, maybe he just started going through on his own.

bedtime itself is still not perfect, some good nights some not so good.

good luck finding a solution!

[quote=hora ]Leaving you with the sound of a hairdryer every night.

Makes me sleep like a erm... baby. There's also an app called "white noise baby" which gives you options of different white noise if you choose that route. I have no children so can't offer any advice, I just like sleeping to white noise!

black out blinds are your friend

Our 4yr old 'I'm not going to bed yet its still light' (no its dark/go to sleep) 'opens blind- look its light ok'.

FFS 😆

I also advocate the controlled crying approach, you say that this would disturb your other kids but this would be short term only, for everyone's long term gain.

We took the timed approach. Put him down crying, leave for 30secs then go in a and lie him back down (no cuddles or chat), then leave 1 min, 2 min, 4 min, 8 min etc.

It is not easy, on anybody. I'd go so far as to say it is actually really distressing but if it works it is worth it. It worked for us and, at the risk of sounding very OTT, it was actually life changing.

Another vote for controlled crying here - Tyred Jr 1 was pretty much exactly as you've described, OP. Its only after you've fixed it that you realise how much it takes over your life.

It was a last resort for us once everything else we could think of or had recommended to us had failed. It wasn't fun, but it didn't take quite as long as we'd feared it would.

You and your partner have to be completely 'on the same page' with it though - if you aren't, then one of you will crack and it won't work (plus you'll have caused upset for all concerned). Make sure you take the time to ensure this is the case and don't be afraid to admit to each other if it isn't.

You have to be persistent and concentrate on the end result.

Tyred Jr 1 is now 9 and sleeps less than the average 9 year old - some people just need less sleep than others. What's important is that since the whole controlled crying episode, Mrs Tyred and I became the Bosses of Bedtime, not him! Once he realised that it was better to just go back to sleep rather than scream and shout to get up every 3 hours, life changed for us all.

neither of my 2 boys are good at bedtime. eldest is 8 this year,and still gives us a headache each night. calls all the time with excuses as to why he can't sleep. if you ignore him, he just gets louder and louder and wakes his 2 year brother up. the two year old wakes up at least twice every night and shouts for me. if you ignore him he wakes his older brother up

happy days

Although I think controled crying gives it a bad name, it does appear to be the only way. Kids are manipulative when it comes to getting what they want, even babies!

M6TTF just proves that his kids are in control 😆

At what age did people start the controlled crying .? Sweajnr1 is 7 weeks old and doesn't sleep for more than an hour at a time and probably only 10 hours total. We've been told that have to go with it for 16 weeks at least but some of these stories make me apprehensive.

3 full nights sleep in 16 months

I didn't sleep once through the night until I was 5 🙂
Our first didn't sleep once through the night till she was 5 🙁

We then had twins when she was just coming up to 3, I still remember being so tired I was hallucinating.

At what age did people start the controlled crying .? Sweajnr1 is 7 weeks old and doesn't sleep for more than an hour at a time and probably only 10 hours total

That is perfectly normal for a 7 week old!

Controlled crying for us was around 9 months old. Not saying that is right for everyone but was right for us/her

what franksinatra said ^^

Think we did controlled crying at around 16 months, it really was a last resort. In hindsight we'd have done it way sooner, but 7 weeks is jumping the gun a bit!

16months seems like a long time!

Was he foreceps delivery by any chance? My daughter #2 was and she was a very poor sleeper and would't settle day or night; other family had experience of this so we tried Cranial Massage by an Osteopath and it worked a treat. Basically the babies headplates give it grief and the trained pro can identify this and help to deal with it. Not all of them offer it anyway here's a link
www.somauk.com/osteopathy-edinburgh/maternity-infant-care/#CRANIAL OSTEOPATHY FOR BABIES

On the other hand Daughter #1 was allowed to get into a bad habit of skawking at bed time and we had to take a tough it out stance, 3 days to break a habit and it worked.

I'd advise googling the negative effects of controlled crying first before you go ahead with it to see if it's what you really want to do, but we're not going to try it on our 17 month old non sleeper!

I'd really seriously consider looking further into cranial osteopathy with a view to not doing it.

I don't want to deride others experience but it's snake oil (sorry).

Perhaps, but a head rub is nice. Perhaps babies need love and caresses and close contact to feel secure? Rather than stressed parents

WWW - based on what experience? Are you qualified in someway?

My child went from fitfull short sleeps and incessant crying to peaceful and more regular sleeping pattern after just one session. Only went twice in total. Same for my Nephew, was recommended by family Doctor.

I'd really seriously consider looking further into cranial osteopathy with a view to not doing it.

Yes but that would be child abuse, and if you let your child cry to that extent it is wrong.

Babies and small kids can not articulate themselves like adults so when they do not like some thing they cry. There is nothing wrong with a kid crying, its just their way of expressing their disklike for some thing, even as in this case if they are not getting everything all their own way.

Kids like routine / habit / getting their own way. If that means they get used to waking up at 2 am every night, they are used to it and will keep doing it, especialy when m&d come in and give them lots of attention.

Got to be cruel to be kind at times.

But every decent parent will know when controlled crying is just a battle of wills between kid and parent, or whether the kid is in distress.

[i]Are you qualified in someway[/i]

not medically but then neither are osteopaths.

This really isn't the thread for a 'cranial osteopathy is bollocks/Oh no it isn't' thread.

I think the OP should do his own googling and reach his own conclusion.

[as an aside (and in an age before google) we tried it in desperation for our son, other than a bruise on his head it made no difference to him]

We had this with one of our three. Two years of maximum 1 hour of sleep.

Again, we went through all the medical stuff and the comfort stuff.

In the end, we just worked out it was a control thing and that became a habit.

We warned the neighbours, and had three nights of screaming. He literally lost his voice and had a sore throat. We just left him to it, and repeatedly took him back to bed silently.

It was tough. It took real effort and teamwork to just ignore a clearly upset child - but it was of his making, and life could not continue as it was.

But, since then he has slept through, although still the worst sleeper in the house. He is now 12.

I hope you work it out OP.

That's where we got to with our eldest, eventually implementing the the old "Controlled Crying" technique after a week or so of feeling like awful neglectful parents, it apparently just clicked and she has slept through ever since, which after ~18 months of sleepless nights was a proper shock to the system, it actually takes a minimum of three consecutive nights of proper sleep before you stop feeling like a Zombie...

Our previous coping strategy was night on/night off shifts, I was on duty one night, the missus did the next. If that meant the off-duty parent slept on the Sofa or in the spare room to get some kip then so be it. This just about kept us both going for a while, but then 'er indoors propensity for martyrdom got the better of her and she had to get up on her off nights just so I knew how hard done by she was, lack of sleep generally makes us both more argumentative and arsey so it had to be dealt with...

Second one we just neglected, she slept fine from about 12 months...

There will not be a third, I have gotten used to having my evenings back and sleeping...

I figured 7 weeks was a little early but planning in advance just in case......

We had this with both of ours, and it's a beast. Both were sorted out with controlled crying, but that doesn't mean it's going to work for yours.

First things first - take turns if you can, so one of you at least gets a full nights' sleep. If needs be, take turns going to stay at a friends' house, travelodge or with parents. Getting a full night's sleep will give you perspective - trust me, I've been there. Literally, go somewhere and go to sleep - don't stay up watching telly. Go to bed. One of you will have a hellish night - but only one of you, instead of both of you. Remember - you outnumber the nipper, and you've got a lot more experience. 🙂

We had similar and tried all sorts of things. It sorted itself out in the end but I think it was more just time than anything else.

Some things which helped: Sound - you think it should be quiet for them but actually noise helps, particularly white noise.

Dad going in to settle him rather than Mum. This was really tough as he wasn't happy. I basically managed to settle him by playing him music and then eventually singing to him. Very tough though with also working.

Will he/her settle ok and just wake?

Don't let them get over tired. Sleeping during the day helps. Also spend plenty of time in their room and bed during the day so they are happy there.

Controlled crying didn't work for us and got to a point where he was over stressed. Everyone told us that's what we had to do but we decided if it felt wrong then it was.

It did settle down eventually, but it was 2-3 years and he's still not a great sleeper.

What ever you do, don't let this damage your relationship. Very important.

At what age did people start the controlled crying .? Sweajnr1 is 7 weeks old and doesn't sleep for more than an hour at a time and probably only 10 hours total. We've been told that have to go with it for 16 weeks at least but some of these stories make me apprehensive.

7 weeks is tiny, and will only just be working out night from day and will barely know they are not still inside. Things change all the time at that age don't worry.

What ever you do, don't let this damage your relationship. Very important.

Rubbish. She gave birth to the noisy monster, it is entirely her fault. Blame her at every opportunity. Point out that a dog would be much easier to train, and cheaper. 😉

That Ashton and parsons stuff worked for us when the getting up was all the time. That said I haven't slept fully for 5years now (kids 5 and 4) and can't even remember what sleep used to be like.

The joy of parenthood!

What did I used to do with all that spare time?!

This. It's a behavioural problem. Buy and read Toddler Taming by Dr Christopher Green, 99 pence on Ebay, it will be the best 99p you ever spent.

The advice therein made precisely zero difference to our non-sleeping screamer. It turned out that all she wanted was her door left open and the hall light left on, but wasn't able to communicate it to us. She sleeps fine now...

not sure but when my boy had chickenpox a few weeks back, a small dose of piroton knocked him out for about 14 hours...

THANK YOU EVERYONE..all much appreciated. At least I know I'm not the only one. Had half expected a load of MTFU responses! Lol

The wee man always naps in the morning...and he even gets his sleeping bag when he's knackered and goes to bed initially without issue. It's just once he starts waking...it doesn't stop.

To answer a few points:-

Have heard varying stances on controlled crying from opposite ends of expert opinion...more research and mum and dad discussion first before attempting.

Used the Ashton stuff...didn't work for us.

Had black out blinds since it started to get light last year...no effect.

He was pulled out via suction cup...and tangled up several times in his cord. I love head massages...but not sure he would be amenable to it.

Shed or cellar? - for me and the wife...or him lol?

I was also a nightmare sleeper...so maybe it's hereditary.

He runs away from the hairdryer...so not sure he'd enjoy the noise!!!

Wife was made redundant at Christmas but has just got a new job. We're hoping nursery may see an improvement...otherwise we could both be screwed!

Thanks again folks...and I'll remember all your kind words in about an hour from now 🙂

WWW - based on what experience? Are you qualified in someway?
My child went from fitfull short sleeps and incessant crying to peaceful and more regular sleeping pattern after just one session. Only went twice in total. Same for my Nephew, was recommended by family Doctor.

It's fascinating that certain internet warriors understand the complications of the human body so well that they can discount every form of medicine/therapy/treatment which doesn't fit with their narrow world view. Show me a medical professional that can tell me definitively how every part of the body works and I'll write off every non-standard approach. And then to declare from their high horse that this isn't the place for an argument about it. FFS...

Good luck OP - my wife almost lost the plot when ours screamed incessantly during the day for months and then it suddenly got better. Try whatever might work (and really persevere with whatever you're trying) and hope for the best! It never stays the same for ever!

i would be careful with the cranial stuff- apart from the lack of clinical evidence it is also [url= http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/call-for-age-limit-after-chiropractor-breaks-babys-neck-20130928-2ul6e.html ]Dangerous[/url]

I have nothing to offer other than my sympathy. I've been awake pretty much since Tuesday morning with a 3 month old mini RRR and a wife with some sort of chronic food poisoning. As such poor wife has been crumpled in bed barely able to move and I've been spending the last 16 hours or so trying to appease mini RRR with bottles instead of Mrs RRR's ample frontage. The boy is not happy, I'll be attempting the night feeds and also have the laughable prospect of going to work tomorrow and dealing with several pressurised projects. Oh and then I'm on call from Friday afternoon for 8 days (as well as the 9-5).

Rant over

Apologies, hope you make some progress 🙂

Ours was a 1hr squawker for a few months which was a bit testing. She would go down ok then wake up bang on the hour and think it was morning ! It became habit and we had to break it. I arranged for my wife to be out 3 nights in a row and had to be quite firm about it then did a bit of pseudo controlled crying, i hated every second of it and will happily admit to being in tears at one point on night one. Second night though it was remarkable the difference and by night three i plonked her in the cot, read her a story, showed her Mr crazyface light thing and she lay down and went to sleep ! That was 4 months ago and she does that every night now, sometimes she does appear at 5am but its more stable. The controlled crying thing has to be thought through big time, we were not keen but there just came a point when it seemed like we coudl do it with no psychological damage to all concerned and we went for it.
I do also try and settle her in the night if she wakes, when my wife did she was on milk duties so started another habit. Again, it won;t be well recieved the first time but once it becomes the norm it will settle down.
Good luck, and like you its nice to read that everyone else has times when you just think W T F !

We have a 3 year old and a 1 year old (both boys) My mrs has had no more than 5 uninterrupted nights sleep in the last 3 and a bit years! 1 year old woke up 10+ times last night.

3 year old sleeps well now. We tried everything but he just sorted himself out in his own time.

5mins of crying before you respond? When we broke mini_oab out of his non sleep habit it was a couple of hours.... 😐

We have a good sleeper (12 hours straight) but a terrible getting-to-sleeper.

I guess you could call it controlled crying that got him to sleep through... well, the baby monitor broke so we have no idea if he cried.

He's 25 months and until this week, needed my wife or me to sit at the end of his bed until he fell asleep.

With number 2 arriving in October, I decided over the weekend that enough was enough so, after a bath and stories, we turned the light off and left the room. I sat on the landing with an iPad and glass of wine.

He cried until he was sick on Monday (got cleaned in the dark - I had a towel on his sheets in preparation) and then fell asleep.

He cried until he fell asleep (20 mins) on Tuesday.

He grumbled for 5 minutes last night and then slept.

I know our situations aren't the same but children are craftier than you think. If you leave them long enough they'll sleep by themselves. It's tough, but worth it.

We got our little one sleeping through at 5 months with some controlled crying. I think it can be done at 3mo - anything earlier and they don't know enough about anything.

Did lot of research and considered any risk of psychological damage done over 1 week was going to be outweighed by months/years of lack of sleep.

Like all of us little ones go through cycles of light and deep sleep. At the light part you might wake up momentarily get in a comfy position and go back to sleep. You probably are totally unaware of this.

This ability to resettle is a skill that little ones need to learn. When they wake up at the light part of the cycle they need to Realise 1. they are secure 2. That they should continue to sleep.

For us this meant a good dark room, a consistent night/nap routine - bath, feed then 2x stories - so they are relaxed and know it's bed time - and controlled crying.

We did a week of it. Went in to her room after allotted time and placed a hand on her so she knew she was secure. Not a time for hugs - this is sleepytime - she has to realise we are here, she's safe but not reward her for being awake.

Hard to do but sleep and a sane household (mostly) are the rewards.

Your mileage may differ.

wow! i feel very lucky with my 2 compared to what some have or are going through with their little ones.
our eldest is 6 and we got him onto a routine very early and it worked wonders as he would sleep through the night. it got a bit difficult when he was between 2 and 3 as putting him to sleep would take up to 2 hours but again sheer perseverance got the end result.
our second is nearly 2 and again, we got her into a routine early on. again similar results but recently we moved her into her brothers room to make way for number 3 (due in 2 weeks) and again its a right pain getting her to sleep at moment.
its taking up to 2 hours. the only way she gets any comfort is by sticking her hand down her mum's top so she gets that skin on skin comfort...but this is usually followed by shouts from her mum because she pinches her as well. she does this with me if its my turn but for some reason she doesnt pinch me. one thing i have found that helps is if she watches me play on my phone in the dark...usually within about half an hour she's fast asleep. the wife doesnt agree with this technique but if it works then why not?
i dont know what number 3 will be like....