 You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more
How do you cope?
My father n law is up at the moment and he winds me up so badly. He was a shite father to my wife, yet is acting like he's the greatest grandfather ever. he accuses people of being racist, yet is blatantly homophobic, he doesn't shut up, talks over everyone, doesn't listen to anyone, and to top it all off thinks he's staying for 5 days over christmas.
we're watching a film now, and he hasn't shut up once. how do you cope? I'm really struggling.
"Uzi 9mm"
Hmmm. Did you marry my ex-wife?
My ex FIL was an utter tool.
Is he in your home?
Tell him to shut up. Or leave. Simple.
You have to remember you're repeatedly sticking your penis in his daughter, I guess some FILs don't handle that too well 🙂
it wouldn't bother me, but he mainly talks about absolutely nothing at all.
M...
Great comment RJ
Since women tend to pick men like their fathers, perhaps you also hate yourself?
My fil is awesome.
lol theyeye
Just concentrate on his weaknesses and see if you can snap him. There's only one dog in your house and that's you. Have fun baiting, prodding and otherwise hounding the fyck out of him.
My father in law has introduced me to a world of axe swinging, chainsaw wielding, tractor driving, post knocking, wire tensioning, barb unrolling fun that I would have never experienced otherwise. Although I do have to put up with a bit of stick about the English rugby team from time to time, his efforts to kill me by forced consumption of 2 gallons of Rhymney's finest ale and the once-in-a-while "sorry but I'm away for a few days, can you sort out the septic tank again..." answerphone message.
That aside I can't say I agree with all the In-Law bashing that goes on!
You have to remember you're repeatedly sticking your penis in his daughter, I guess some FILs don't handle that too well
Yes, jealousy is a very powerful emotion.
What a shame!
I have just come back from my in-laws and I count myself quite lucky as they are two great people who have really showed me a lot of kindness over the years 🙂
well, if he is staying your wife obviously doesn't mind him to much so it's probably one of those things you just need to stay quiet about. However, if she also thinks he is a massive bell and he gets on her nerves too then I would probably say something. If he's in your home, what you say goes.
Or - you could just do what I do sometimes and slip into full on manipulative wind up mode to become center of attention again. May not have the same impact if you do it though cuz your a man and you might just look stupid.
what does your wife think if she allows it what elf said otherwise suck it up.
she knows his downfalls, but its her dad. She knows I struggle, and she understands why, but I'm expected to put up with him. "Its only a few days a year" (although since my son has been born its quite a bit more than that
My in-laws are quite the most magnificent people. They're like second parents. I love them to bits.
My in laws were awful alcohol abusing, domestic violence inflicting snobs, but they are both dead now so i no longer have to tolerate them.
I'm expected to put up with him
Eh? Why??
If it's your home, then he needs to respect that. Otherwise he's taking the pee. Just tell him what the rules are; either he shows you respect, or he does not in any way get to come round. Simple as that.
I don't see why anyone should have to suffer someone else's rude and disrespectful behaviour in their own home.
Would he tolerate you coming round to [i]his[/i] home and taking the pee?
Does he have mental health issues which affect his behaviour? Different story if so, but I'm not one for this 'just keep quiet and don't rock the boat' crap, cos ultimately someone will get wound up and fed up with it. Why should that be you?
Just concentrate on his weaknesses and see if you can snap him. There's only one dog in your house and that's you. Have fun baiting, prodding and otherwise hounding the fyck out of him.
This would probably be my approach too. Psychological Warfare. I've never lost....
I like your thinking, Yoss. It disturbs me somewhat that it's very close to my own, butI like it....
Actually I cant believe no-one has suggested pee'ing in his shoes yet? Or owning him with bombers?
Thing is he doesnt do it on purpose, he's just very annoying. I dont know, I just want an easy life!
How long is he staying?
Very familiar story there Warton and I blame my (now deceased) FIL for the erratic/lunatic behaviour of my ex-wife.
To give an example, I went out for a drink to my local with my Dad who was visiting and the ex-FIL. I went to the loo while he went to the bar for a round. When I came back, all hell was breaking loose as he had called the barmaid quote- "[i]a useless fat slag"[/i] as she had served someone else when it was his turn 😯 He was banned for life at 75 years of age!
As he was fine 90% of the time, I found it easier to remember some other pressing engagement when he went off on one.
Emma, till tomorrow. I'm out on bike in the morning so I'll survive. Already dreading Christmas. My wife knows he can't stay for five days.
My FIL is as sound as a hound! A real good guy!
His daughter on the other hand is .. I'll stop there.
Seriously, some of my own family are god awful to have staying. I've got 2 coming next week and am already annoyed before they even arrive! I just try and ignore them (its hard) and when it's over - celebrate that I dont have to live with them full time.
well if he's leaving tomorrow I'd just head off for an early night tonight and get out of his way. Talk about Christmas once he's gone. He can't stay for 5 days and ruin your Christmas, he'll be even more of a nightmare. Perhaps say your diaries are jam packed at Christmas so a few hrs Christmas day or one night, but not five.
My MIL is coming in january. Until june 😯 Shes great though and her prescence will really help us out. Likewise the FIL was here for a month in the summer doing diy for us.
If the bloke is talking over a film, what happens if you politely ask him not to? If hes trying to be a good grandad because he made mistakes with your wife then that's a good thing. My own parents have barely seen my daughter due to circumstances.
the best bet is to sleep with your MIL that way the FIL will probably never speak to you again
but I'm expected to put up with him.
As Elfie says, "Why?"
Have a word with him. Be calm, confident and concise. Big weight off your shoulders an' al that.
My FIL was also a crap father, I kept my trap shut for 25yrs till one visit he kept going on about how he'd do anything for his girls.
I kept calm but gave him full chapter and verse on his failings as a father.
It did no good to be honest, he will never change or admit any fault, and it wasn't really my place to tell him. But at least he knows how I feel.