[Closed] I'm not suited to my job

😐

Change jobs then.

I'm the opposite. Undemonstrative, but then I go home and moan to my wife. Suspect my colleagues think I don't care sometimes.

Sometimes they're right of course...

[i]Problem is, I get too emotional and het up sometimes[/i]

Rubbish.

You're judging yourself by assuming you know what other people think of you, and you're assuming they think badly of you.

I've been in meetings where people have thrown things across the room, where they have openly been in tears about relatively mundane things, and I'd rather have it that way.

I don't want to work with dull ****ers, I want to work with people who have a passion for their work, who will shout and stamp their feet, who are involved enough in what they do to actually care enough about it to be annoyed, to be emotional.

Give 'em some stick.

Nothing wrong with expressing your feelings. Within the bounds of professional behaviour.

But, developing a "calm head" is useful for dealing with real crises.

Don't worry about it, your an ESTJ!

[url= http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ESTJ.html ]EST Explained[/url]

FWIW, so am I 🙂

As the man you've called a 'prick', ... I hope that you are a little more restrained with your work colleagues when you get 'het up', Molgrips. You are very poor at dealing with people who disagree with you. It doesn't matter on here but in the corporate world if you hand out ammunition to people the way you do here then one of them will use it to shoot you down.

Now there's a man who can harbour resentment, put in a big pot and let it simmer, test it for saltiness, add some more bile, and serve it to you cold while he staples your feet to a flat bed truck full of ants and covers you in honey....

I never fitted in with the other senior folk, apparently 'integrity' is something 'to be left at the door'...

I'm with Crikey on this one..

I'm just as happy to have people on my team that wear their heart on their sleeve, as I am to have those that can hold their counsel..

They're equally as useful to have around in my opinion, more so in many cases.. Very good for moral and good for hunting out slippery n'er do wells too..

Stick at it mr mol.

You're far better at than a lot of folk, but you know that.

You're judging yourself by assuming you know what other people think of you, and you're assuming they think badly of you

Certain people take it the wrong way.. then complain to my bosses...

You are very poor at dealing with people who disagree with you.

Do me a bloody favour. Talk about patronising! As if I don't know the difference between STW and work!

Crikey & co - thanks for the support. Got any jobs going? 🙂

bikeboy - 😆

Problem is, I get too emotional and het up sometimes. Always with a good reason, and I control it, but I guess I'm just too demonstrative for some people and they take offence. Which makes it worse.

You see their offence to your reaction as their problem?

Get on with it!

We'd all like to be Mr. Cool, Mr. Calm and Collected, but the world would be a much poorer place if we all acted that way. Just make sure that people know that the reason you act like that is because you care about what you are doing.

You see their offence to your reaction as their problem?

Not quite what I meant. Some people interpret agitation as aggression. It's my fault for being agitated of course. When it's a new client and I'm consciously on best behaviour then it's not a problem, but after I've been there a while and I've formed working relationships my guard drops, as it must I suppose. That's when people new to the group can get the wrong impression unfortunately.

There's not much that's worse than people who arent passionate about what they do. If you think people are muppets it's fine to call them muppets as long as you can explain, and perhaps convince themselves of, their own muppetry when asked.

As the man you've called a 'prick', ... I hope that you are a little more restrained with your work colleagues when you get 'het up', Molgrips. You are very poor at dealing with people who disagree with you.

Good judge of character though 😉

Not quite what I meant. Some people interpret agitation as aggression.

If it is more than one person, then the only common element here is you.

That's when people new to the group can get the wrong impression unfortunately.

Again - if it has happened more than once, it isn't an isolated incident and you need to learn to control what it is that you project. You would not believe the levels of tact and diplomacy that I have been known for over the years, but I had to learn them very early in my working life. If you are that good at the rest of your job, the onus is on you to make real efforts in this area.

Problem is, I get too emotional and het up sometimes. Always with a good reason, and I control it, but I guess I'm just too demonstrative for some people and they take offence. Which makes it worse.

Worked for artitic types,once you realise its not personal abuse, theyre just wanting to achieve what they want to and sometimes fail to understand others cant achieve that result.

We are all different thats waht makes us all so special.

For the record, I didn't say Edukator WAS a prick, I said he was BEING a prick. Big difference. He was pretty insulting to me, so I told him he was acting like a prick. I explained it in detail at the time.

In fairness, on STW you can't hear my tone of voice or see my body language, so you must appreciate you only have part of the information. Bear that in mind when you judge.

As long as you never attack anyone personally and try to make your criticism constructive, not to mention give positive feedback where it's due, you can't go wrong.

Someone needs to ask for 360 feedback don't they 😉

I'm not particularly upset this time because the person in question is doing a disgraceful job of managing. I know I'm being made a scapegoat, I think that's kind of inevitable given my personality in this case....

If you think people are muppets it's fine to call them muppets as long as you can explain, and perhaps convince themselves of, their own muppetry when asked.

For someone with grip in their forum name, you should be better at getting one.

When it's a new client and I'm consciously on best behaviour then it's not a problem, but after I've been there a while and I've formed working relationships my guard drops, as it must I suppose

You suppose wrong. From what you've said there it sounds like you [i]can[/i] control your behaviour, but after a while you can no longer be bothered. Then it's anyone's fault but yours.

You know, you can improve your "soft skills" for business, there is a whole industry built around it. Why don't you try getting some coaching. Of course, first you have to admit that you need improving and aren't right all of the time, sounds like you aren't quite there yet, if you know what I mean, and don't mind me saying.

Throwing a tantrum when you don't get your way can be effective in the short term but not as a long term tactic. Nobody is irreplaceable.

I always assume geeks to have spent a lot of their growing-up years in the bedroom with the curtains shut, and as such, may have struggled to develop their interpersonal skills at an important age. I allow for this in my social and professional interactions with them. So don't worry mol, not everybody will be getting het up at your hettiuppiness matey. 🙂

Then it's anyone's fault but yours

Of course, first you have to admit that you need improving and aren't right all of the time, sounds like you aren't quite there yet

Threads like this are meant to be acknowledging responsibilty... And I'm not talking about throwing tantrums, don't get the wrong idea. It's not about getting my way or not.

It's about the level of animation and emotion I sometimes display when I am making a point. Some people think I am being agressive and belligerent, but I really am not. I am always willing to discuss and find compromises, I just sometimes look like I'm not.

Someone put their notice in because I used to get agitated. Shocked me to the core; I was completely unaware of what I was doing and the effect it was having on my colleagues. Have since discovered much better ways of working in a team.

If you want to change, you can.

wow.. I wish I was surprised at some of the more obsequious poster's replies here..

but I'm not.. 😐

http://ocduk.org/ocd-awareness-week-news-2012

Have you ever heard the phrase 'perception is reality'?

You admit that more than one or two people are 'misinterpreting' you. This is down to you, not them.

If people think you are being agressive and belligerent, then you are.

If you want to change, you can.

Start with the man in the mirror mol. Ask him to change his ways. No message could be clearer than that. If you want to make your workplace a better place, then take a look at yourself. And make that change.

Ooh.

For the record, I didn't say Edukator WAS a prick, I said he was BEING a prick. Big difference.

I'm sure your work colleagues won't be any less offended by "being a prick" than "is a prick". Most people would say there is not a "big difference" between the two as both are insulting. There's a big difference between "prick" and "top bloke".

Anyhow, here is one of the times you refered to me as a "prick":

[url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/idave-diet-joinee/page/11 ]Sigh.. here we go again.. the annoying prick[/url]

You see you called me an "annoying prick". Not condusive to good working relations.

**** me... there's some sensitive souls around.. 😆

This is down to you, not them.

Yes, I know!

You see you called me an "annoying prick". Not condusive to good working relations.

Edukator - you are not a colleague. I do not treat my colleages the same way I treat my friends, or random bods on an internet forum.

I was hoping for an apology for lying in your post on the previous page about what you had called me, Molgrips. There is no "being" in your insult, I was right, you were wrong. Most people would apologise for accusing someone of misquoting when in fact the person was absolutely right and the accusation a lie.

You insulted me through the whole iDave saga, rubbished my credentials and blindly supported the fad diet peddler.

[url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/anyone-have-a-copy-of-the-latest-idave/page/3 ]This makes amusing reading with hindsight. [/url]

Edit: in case you wonder why I'm doing this, it's a reality check. You've rubbished what a British autotest champion has to say about ABS. You've rubbished what a triathlete that has finished 6th scratch in French national championships has to say about sports nutrition.

I suspect you rubbish what your clients say when they know their businesses and needs a whole lot better than you.

You're being quite the helpful prick this evening Ed.

For reference: you can quote this at me ad infinitum. Well, until you have your next attempt at having every trace of yourself removed from STW. Can you let us know when that might be?

It's precisely this sort of petty playground ****ery that is lived out so often in the work place.

If you can't handle the effects of losing it at your colleagues, don't lose it at your colleagues. Otherwise, man up and live with the consequences of acting like a child.

deadlydarcy - Member
Start with the man in the mirror mol. Ask him to change his ways. No message could be clearer than that. If you want to make your workplace a better place, then take a look at yourself. And make that change.

Ooh.

Ourmaninthenorth +1

(that's my first +1 on STW) Nighty night.

What the...?

Where did this thread go..??

So, like "wayward"

I mean.. I'm pretty good at figuring things out quickly, solving problems and delivering great solutions, I work very hard when required, and can really get things done. I work well with a team and I'm flexible and adaptable.

molgrips - Member
....... I do not treat my colleages the same way I treat my friends, or random bods on an internet forum.

....yet you seem to be able to provoke a negative reaction in both some of your colleagues and some RBOTIs 😕
anyway FWIW I'd suggest explaining to your boss/colleagues that you're a "wear your heart on your sleeve" kind of guy and hope your passion/enthusiasm isn't being taken as antagonism.

Hope you get this sorted, if you enjoy your work it's worth making sure your colleagues understand your viewpoint/attitude so you can all have a more pleasant & constructive time 🙂

Good judge of character though 😉

Get a giant ego inflated way beyond your own ability like myself and quit caring what others think of you?

I was hoping for an apology for lying in your post on the previous page about what you had called me, Molgrips

I apologise for making a mistake. I was thinking of a different thread. You know the difference between lying and making a mistake, don't you?

I suspect you rubbish what your clients say when they know their businesses and needs a whole lot better than you

I don't, but you won't believe me. And given how utterly un-reachable you are, nothing I can say will make you believe me. You are the new TJ of this forum, congratulations. Only you're less likeable.

If you can't handle the effects of losing it at your colleagues

No-one lost anything. I'm not talking about a huge bust up here. No-one shouted, no-one called anyone a prick.

your colleagues obviously don't realise they are in the presence of greatness

That's about right 🙂

Have you tried sneaking off for a power wxxk ?