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I've been told tonight by the Nursery my 2.5yo has been withheld her pudding, as a punishment for refusing to help tidy up. I don't believe they have the moral right to withhold food where available from a growing child. Or am I overreacting?
But that's my first point. The second is that said daughter has an as yet undiagnosed liver/low blood sugar issue which they are aware of, and keeping her hungry aka blood sugars low can send her into seizure in the worse case. So im doubly furious!
Am I right?
No it was pudding she had her main ,wont starve and its no more than many parents would do at home
[quote=Kryton57 said]The second is that said daughter has an as yet undiagnosed liver/low blood sugar issue which they are aware of, and keeping her hungry aka blood sugars low can send her into seizure in the worse case. So im doubly furious!
Were the nursery aware of this medical issue ? If so then v. naughty of them! If not then v. naughty of you 🙂
If you don't like it, reign in your middleclassness and get mrs kryton to stay at home to look after them.
Especially with a medical condition 🙄
Just sayin
Is there an agreed 'schedule' of punishments?
Sounds like someone said 'tidy up or no pudding' on the spur of a moment and had their bluff called.
Surprised they have pudding.
You could try teaching your child to tidy up.
Is there an agreed 'schedule' of punishments?Sounds like someone said 'tidy up or no pudding' on the spur of a moment and had their bluff called.
^ +1
Discipline should be outlined to you and stuck to.
I would be furious that my kid refused to help tidy up. Manners maketh the man n all that.
Life's too short to get annoyed over something so trivial. It's pudding, a treat and not a necessity.
If in 20 years she still harbours anger and resentment over the matter I'd burn the place down. Play the long game.
Get yourself over to AIBU. Mumsnet will have several opinions for you to choose from.
Depends on the pudding.
Sticky toffee pudding i'd be running around cracking skulls, fruit salad i'd not bat an eyelid.
I'm with the OP a 2.5yr old child should not be denied food as a punishment.
Depends on the pudding.Sticky toffee pudding i'd be running around cracking skulls, fruit salad i'd not bat an eyelid.
True that. Cheese cake would be a cardinal sin in my book.
If in 20 years she still harbours anger and resentment over the matter I'd burn the place down. Play the long game.
Brilliant!
Sort your kids out.
Next it'll be suspended from school.
Then locked up in prison.
Thank the nursery for doing your job with discipline.
Phone the police.
Jesus Christ, how judgemental.
Yes they are aware of the condition and have even been given and emergency pack / taught the procedure should they need it. For the record, both my kids are brought up with manners an politeness, which regularly gets commented on at Nursery / School as an outstanding asset of thier personalitys. Tidying up, and helping with chores in other ways is a regular part of thier upbringing thanks very much.
And yes, ey usually and agree with the parents the timeout concept as punishments.
That said, she's 2 for ****s sake, strops happen to 2yo's.
irc - Food should never be wit held as a punishment i.e. Dinner, but a pudding is a treat.
You can't have pudding if x y z was the standard [i]threat/punishment[/i] when I was growing up.
Along the same lines as sport/exercise should not be used as a punishment, but not being allowed to play/do because you have been a little sh1t should be.
Was pudding after a meal or just a standalone? If it was after a meal, she wasn't left to go hungry. And if it was a standalone, if she would go hungry without it, why the hell were they giving the kids pudding? They need actual food.
2?
She should be applying to Uni by now.
I'd have thought it was a good lesson. Pudding is a treat, if you don't do as you're told, no treat.
If there's going to be consequence for her actions, then what would you have preferred she was denied? Story time, playing outside or something else entirely? Or do you not think it's the nursery's job to discipline?
Not saying you're right or wrong, just curious.
EDIT: just read your other post, see you prefer time out. I suppose it depends what was said to your daughter first then. Not sure it's worth being furious about, just tell nursery how you want it to work. If they don't agree, choose a different nursery.
Jesus Christ, how judgemental.
she's 2 for **** sake, strops happen to 2yo's
Not just 2 yo's, eh?. No pudding for you.
It was maybe not the best idea from the nursery but being "furious" seems like an over reaction. Maybe a quiet word with the manager?
Think you've got this just a smidge out of proportion. She got fed, hence no danger. It's natural to be defensive when your kids have been punished, particularly if it is in a way that you wouldn't do yourself. But soon (very soon and quicker than you think is possible) Kryton Jr. will have to start learning to play by others rules. She's probably learned something today. Ask yourself if you'll still be this angry in a week?
That said, she's 2 for **** sake, strops happen to 2yo's.
Yep, and with a little appropriate discipline while they are young, like say not letting them eat pudding, then they won't still be throwing strops when they are 40.
You posted this 'does it really matter' bollocks on the internet for people to make a judgement and then whine about people being judgemental. Are you sure?
"My child has a medical condition and could have .....insert something....because she didn't get her pudding for being a bit of an arse as very young people are liable to be".
They hardly kept her hungry though, did they?
If she whined half as much as you, I'd be expecting a conversation with the nursery very soon inviting you to find another nursery.
As an aside, I can't get my head round this bit.....
said daughter has an as yet undiagnosed liver/low blood sugar issue which they are aware of, and keeping her hungry aka blood sugars low can send her into seizure in the worse case.
How can it be undiagnosed yet the worst-case scenario be known? Has she had a seizure before?
Or am I overreacting?
Yes.
Am I right?
No.
Actually I am impressed that a nursery took a stand like this. I have an eight year old and many of her peers were completely undisciplined and self centred when they started school. After four years of school many still are and the standard of education for all the kids has suffered as a result.
As long as the discipline was fair and proportional then I think it is a good thing.
Has the little prncess ever had a seizure due to not having a pudding? Or even had a seizure for that matter?
FWIW the nursery that I sent my kids to wouldn't have accepted them if they were as medically unstable as you say yours is.
Sorry, I think you're over reacting. From the way you tell it, they didn't deny your daughter sustenance, they with held a treat while trying to her a valuable lesson.
She was fed, she was safe, and the nursery subsitutes for the role of parents while you're unavailable.
Did you react when you went to collect your daughter or did you keep a poker face? Do you need to apologise tomorrow?
As a father of a child in nursery I must say I side with the majority in this .
A they did not withhold food they with held an unnecessary treat.
B they did not keep her hungry if your nursery has pudding as the significant source of nutrition you did a poor job in selecting it.
C getting doubly furious over your child receiving a very mild consequence for poor behavior is a bit hysterical and if you have allowed your child to pick up on any of this you need to have a good think about the message you are sending.
D nursery's can't have special punishments for individual children it does not work for lots of reasons .
E ffs apologise to the nursery if you have expressed any of this to them have a rational word with your kid to reenforce the very good lesson that you tidy up when told to and if you don't listen and do as you are told you don't get treats.
I'd have taken them straight out of Nursery, put my foot through the door and sent them the bill.
It's Dessert FFS 👿
Is it a good idea to give pudding to children with blood sugar issues? (I'm not being judgemental - it's a genuine question).
When a child in your care has a serious medical issue related to food intake/sugar levels then it's stupid to use withdrawal of food as a punishment IMO. Would they do the same to a diabetic child ?
Put the child on the naughty step or something.
Am I right?
Sounds like you're asking for people to share their judgement on this issue...
Jesus Christ, how judgemental.
What was the question again?
I think this deserves another airing, as it's so good:
If she whined half as much as you, I'd be expecting a conversation with the nursery very soon inviting you to find another nursery.
Cobblers. She clearly needed to be torte a lesson. Perhaps she'll turnover a new leaf after this.
When a child in your care has a serious medical issue related to food intake/sugar levels then it's stupid to use withdrawal of food as a punishment IMO. Would they do the same to a diabetic child ?
not sure I buy that argument as unless the food was carefully planned according to the childs needs then it should not have a bearing. What if the child decided it didn't want pudding?
Now to refuse a significant amount of food or to force a high intake of sugar if a condition exists then yes, very wrong.
the pudding should not be making up a significant enough part of the nutritional intake and should be balanced itself as to no be like eating a bowl of sugar.
But I do not agree with withholding food as punishment in this case. Food related behavioural problems can arise and be very difficult to remedy.
As an aside, I can't get my head round this bit.....said daughter has an as yet undiagnosed liver/low blood sugar issue which they are aware of, and keeping her hungry aka blood sugars low can send her into seizure in the worse case.
Sounds like a standard 'I'm disgusted thread' bolt-on template intended to shore-up and vindicate the OP's initial whinge, whilst simultaneously rousing support amongst dim-witted readers and instilling guilt in any perceived guilty party that happens to be reading the post.
For example:
[i]"To the idiot who [s]accidentally lightly bumped[/s] intentionally smashed a trolley into my car in the supermarket car park this morning. Thanks a lot!
What you didn't know is that my grandad was in the back seat as I was taking him shopping as he's too old and frail to go himself after being wounded at Verdun and awarded the George Cross for bravery... having worked every day of his life, never claiming a penny in benefits... and suffering from a rare undiagnosed PTSD condition that can easily be triggered by IDIOTS ramming trolleys into him. I hope you're proud of yourself![/i]
Pudding is not proper food, it's a treat. The treat was withdrawn as a punishment. Fair enough I reckon.
If you think their nutritional plan for her is sorted down to the last calorie to include this pudding you are deluding yourself. As said above what would you have wanted them to to if she had refused to eat it?
You are over reacting.
You're a bundle of fun aren't you 🙂
jambourgie that is.
When a child in your care has a serious medical issue related to food intake/sugar levels then it's stupid to use withdrawal of food as a punishment IMO. Would they do the same to a diabetic child ?Put the child on the naughty step or something.
Thank you. Yes, she has had seizures, last episode in Hospital was this time last week after a 24 hour vomiting bug. Maybe try considering my anxiety based around that fact, before posting some insulting content regarding my character - I appreciate I didn't use it initially. Of course she deserves the discipline, in the "time out manner" we agreed and have come to expect, same at home. Andyl - do you have kids? And if so do you refer to the, as "it" also? A bit heartless IMO.
She clearly needed to be torte a lesson
Spelling maybe?
OP, get a grip. What would you rather have the nursery do on this occasion?
I can't recall ever meeting a 2 year old, so I'm curious about what they can do! Can they talk and understand and actually tidy up? It just sounds a bit too young to me. I'm not sure that 'punishment' would work - I suppose nursery staff can't dedicate too much time to individuals, but I seem to remember that as a young child I responded better to explanations (and an example) of what was expected of me, rather than threats.
Get over yourself.
Discipline is good, even at an early age. I used to get my pudding withheld if I didn't finish my main course.
Based on this thread: http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/my-mil-bought-me-a-garmin-vivofit
I think we know that dessert is not something to be trifled with in the Kryton household!
Parent entrusts their child into the care of a service providor, service user,(small child) refuses to do as told, service providior then refuses a treat.#
Parent then creates a a medical history un diagnosed by medical personnel to make a story out of a small matter of indiscipline.
Spelling maybe?
I know, it's a cultural dessert round here.
Spelling maybe?
Heh
Re-read Mr Hutch's post in a less pedantic light.
Made me hungry, it did...
I didn't creat a medical history , to tart up an Internet post Project, what do you take me for? She's being treated for sudden crashing of blood sugars when in a fasted or deprived state by GOSH by medical personnel btw not the cleaner, , the underlying cause is not yet known.
i was inclined to say it seemed like a fair punishment, then I asked my wife (lectures to degree level in early years education and is an ofsted inspector). It turns out you are absolutely right to be furious!
Nurseries have no right to deny food at ant time, even pudding, they should not have done it, and ofsted would be very very unimpressed. She then started going on about the UNCRC (1989) welfare requirements, asking for the behaviour policy of the nursery to see where it says witholding food is an accepted punishment for not tidying up.
She wasn't happy and I am a little scared!
She clearly needed to be torte a lesson
Spelling maybe?
Some people donut get a hint I guess
I'm discustard!
united nations convention on the rights of children UNCRC (I had to ask!)
It's PC [i]scone[/i] mad!
What nursery is it?
A lot have policies on acceptable punishments so worth asking to see it.
With holding food is specifically banned as a punishment at the nursery chain my girlfriend works for.
Some people donut get a hint I guess
I'm embarrassed now! Never saw that! 😳
I think they are in the right.
I'd do the same thing myself without an afters-thought.
Having a 2 year old I'd be a little hacked off with that method of punishment, especially with a known medical condition. I would most likely be emailing the nursery to say you disagree with the approach of withdrawing food for poor behavior and whilst you agree that discipline is important you would prefer them to use another method with your child such as the naughty step or time in the quiet corner to try and avoid any agrivation of their medical condition.
Perhaps she wouldn't tidy away the dishes from her aperitifs, starter and main course, so they couldn't give her pudding because there was nowhere to put it. Unless she was to eat off the floor. I for one would not be impressed that they would not let her eat off the floor. Why are people criticising the nursery for not making a child eat off the floor? The mind boggles...
I can't believe you're all getting so het up over a trifling matter.
Discuss it rationally tomorrow with them, tell them it's out of order (maybe without quoting the UN specifically) and ask them not to do it again.
Tell your daughter that if she refuses to help tidy up again she will be punished in another way.
End of. People make mistakes, it's how they deal with them and learn from them that matters.
Actually after reading this again I think the nursery are taking the biscuit.
Having a 2 year old I'd be a little hacked off with that method of punishment, especially with a known medical condition. I would most likely be emailing the nursery to say you disagree with the approach of withdrawing food for poor behavior and whilst you agree that discipline is important you would prefer them to use another method with your child such as the naughty step or time in the quiet corner to try and avoid any agrivation of their medical condition.
I shall be talking to them tomorrow.
Apologies if this has been said, but seems a trifling matter.
Given the medical condition and your disgust at them withholding food. I'm presuming they had an agreed menu approved by doctors to manage the condition, and pudding was an intricate part of it. I mean, if it was a meal that didn't include pudding you'd be ringing up checking that she had sufficiently size main meal and her intake weighed and monitored?
Make sure you know what you are going to say before you go in,
You know, don't go off all half-baked.
You really [b]are[/b] trying to sell the concept that your daughter not getting her (just) dessert(s) by deprivation by the nursery staff could of......what? Caused some kind of medical crisis?
You're funny.
"I shall be talking to them tomorrow"
And they'll be having a right laugh at you on your way out.
Did the police send you a letter informing you of her bad behaviour and warning you of the consequences of giving her pudding?
She could have passed out at the dinner table and possibly fallen into a korma.
Steady on laddoo. We're not doing curries today.
Poor wee lassi
Even though she's only 2 1/2, the earlier she realises that she can't have her cake & eat it the better. (IMO)
I rather feel the OP has lost his sense of perspective on this one. I'm not surprised sympathy is lacking.
martinhutch - Member
Steady on laddoo. We're not doing curries today.
Sorry mate, sometimes I have to be spoon fed the rules.
imnotverygood - Member
I rather feel the OP has lost his sense of perspective on this one.
Give him a break, he might have a lot on his plate at the moment.
[quote=colp ]
martinhutch - Member
Steady on laddoo. We're not doing curries today.
Sorry mate, sometimes I have to be spoon fed the rules.That looks pretty cool fae here.
Joking aside, I'd be more concerned that the Nursery are using the children as a source of free labour. I have friends with 2 year old kids and they can't even talk let alone tidy up! Don't they have a caretaker or external cleaning service? What else have they got these poor babies doing? Cleaning chimneys? Servicing motor vehicles?
Apologies to Kryton for being naughty, now lets assume your daughter was elderley and she had ben deprived of a part of her meal, would that be anymore acceptable.
No refusing people food no matter what age for petty non medical reasons eg dietry, weight loss allergies, etc is not acceptable.
Report the matter to Care standards and see what they do/say, they inspect child care establishments.