[Closed] iFoot (will I die?)

Finally, family went off to bed so I could return to this exciting resurgence of interest in [s]cycling[/s] browsing for The Bike.

Equipped with newly burning hole in pocket I retreated to the poobicle (no windows, no light) with (iPad in hand) [s]momentarily[/s] for an undisclosed aeon.

So sitting there with (unknown to self) my right elbow bearing down on leg above right knee. I finish sitting (literally can't remember achieving passage of anything other than time), remove elbow from leg, fold iPad, and make as if to stand up.

Firstly, my right foot feels like a gigantic hovercraft-pillow-marshmallow thing. Can't feel it when go to walk.

Fall forward and catch self by against wall. iPad survives.

Walk a timid step, left foot ok, right foot still very weird. As approaching kitchen the foot is tapping left and right, as if testing the way ahead, like a blind-mans stick. It feels a little less marshmallowy. It still feels weird. Like it wants to lift up and fly away, can't tell if foot is soft or ground has turned to rubber.

Then it feels suddenly hard* on the floor, and I realise it has gone back to normal.

*The reason (I then discover) that it now feels hard is because the left [s]croc[/s] slipper is still on the left foot. The right foot must have involuntarily ejected said [s]croc[/s] slipper when it was playing silly buggers.

Bunch of bastards, all of them.