If you won the lottery, would you tell the wife?

I'll go first.

My Citroen is red and so is a Ferrari. I reckon my wife would never tell the difference. The kids might when they have to ride on the roof...

Just popping out for a loaf of bread.....

I wonder how long you could pretend to go off to work on a morning and go ride bikes / go surfing / fishing / metal detecting etc. instead. You just need some discipline and pretend to be in a shit mood when you go out the front door every morning. No one need ever know.

I've always fancied an island in the Forth. You'd definitely not be noticed by anyone. To be extra cautious, wear a fake mustache when heading over on your boat.

Of course I'd tell her.
"Pack your bags! I'm buying a more current model."

Sorry to say that it might've been Bernard Manning but...

"pack yer bags luv, I've won the pools" "where shall I pack for?" (etc)

gah - would've gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for that pesky eddiebaby 🤬

This is why I prefer to stay single: if I come into money, the money is mine.

Reminds me of the old joke -

Man comes home to the wife and says:

"pack your bags love we've won the lottery!"

Wife -  "oooh how exciting! Where are we going?"

Man - "Just pack your bags and **** off"

I’ve always fancied an island in the Forth. You’d definitely not be noticed by anyone. To be extra cautious, wear a fake mustache when heading over on your boat.

Give someone an inch...

I think she'd notice the coke and high-class hookers! 🙂

Id tell the wife straightaway, but It would be incredibly difficult for us to keep it from the wider community our my lives are part of that, and we couldn't just move away quickly.

As for relatives, depends on the sum....

@scotroutes

I May do that 😜

I'd let my relatives know by text from Whistler.

Wouldn't be possible here as the funds would be in the shared bank account. If she survives the shock we'll go mad together, if she doesn't I get a younger model!

My Citroen is red and so is a Ferrari. I reckon my wife would never tell the difference. 

Reminds me of the story about a chap who raced MX. He'd by a new Maico every year but as it was just another red bike his wife never twigged. When Maico changed to blue he switched to Honda. Wife thought he was marvellous keeping the same bike for 10 years 😆

I May do that

LOL.

Geographic in-jokes 🙂

I live alone and have no friends! Simple!

I'd buy my son a new bike and a car probably. I'd tell the ex-wife, but not in a gloat. And you know what.. she'd be pleased for me. Aw

Thinking about it I'd just give the wife the majority of the money. As long as I have enough left to buy myself a little cottage somewhere with a bit of land to grow some veg. And....

A secret underground bike store/pool-room/bar/gym/cinema/endless-pool.

Like a batcave just with fractional less jet-cars and black rubber suits. 😆

My boss would be finding out before my wife.

Heck no she's still unaware I won £2.60 on the euro millions

I wouldn't bother telling work. I'd like to see how long before they actually missed me and how long they'd keep paying me for.

I think she’d notice the coke and high-class hookers! 🙂

So long as she shares them....

I'd send her a postcard

 I’d tell the ex-wife, but not in a gloat.

Yeah right...

It would be easy.
Lottery money goes out of our joint account, any winnings go into the lottery ‘wallet’ & can be transferred into another account.
Like mine for instance.

How about something egalitarian....

I could buy a wind turbine for the town, along with battery storage.

The wife might twig when she sees that the new massive turbine on the local hill is called Ian.

I May do that

Can I cram one in?

I’d tell my wife, I’d tell my brothers, I’d tell my very closest friends and family - and share winnings with them. I believe they would keep the win in confidence. I hope.

I really like the idea of a massive wind turbine being called Ian.👍🙃

LOL.

Geographic in-jokes 🙂

@fasgadh to the forum, please

My team would send a memorandum from my villa in Ibiza.

I really like the idea of a massive wind turbine being called Ian.👍🙃

I thought all wind turbines were called Ian.

I’d give my wife half, then if she stayed around it wouldn’t be for the money.

I would gradually buy every house on my street as they came up for sale.

my wife is my number 1 cycling buddy. and drinking buddy.
we would cycle tour the world , staying is s****ing hotels and visiting many drinking establishments.

a bit like now really, but with more cash.

staying is s****ing hotelshostels

Fixed that for you Tony.

Although Ian may be declining as a name, if you look carefully Ian is is all around you.

I give you...

Electric-ian

Music-ian

Tecnic-ian

Statistic-ian

Mathematic-ian

And my favourite....

Barber-ian

The thursday lottery here is $160m..... I may have given this some thought.

My conclusion is that trying to keep it a secret from close friends/family is only possible if you don't intend doing anything with the money - or are so committed that you'd be literally lying about everything.

I think you'd have to have a "cover" story for all but your closest friends/family - maybe some sort of job that would explain you having money, and taking regular holidays/work trips etc. But vague enough not to invite further questions - some sort of consultant or board member or something. I recon you could tell everyone that you are an "actuary' without ever needing to explain what that is.

I wouldn't want everyone knowing - but I wouldn't want to be constantly lying either.

My wife has a friend with a mysterious husband who apparently does something mundane like fitting gas ... but seems to spend his whole time away on boats. They seem to have a bigger house and fancier cars than you would expect. We'd assumed he was a drug dealer. Maybe he won the lottery and didn't tell his wife. Maybe he did but she's not letting on.

fitting gas

Euphamism innit. Maybe he's on onlyfans?

Hmmm maybe… would that find an extravagant lifestyle?

(I gave up with my account)

Depends on big his t$$s are 😜

Double post

Patio?

I we have had similar conversation before. 100% tell my partner, my parents. Not her mum but would tell her dad. Wouldn't tell anyone else but have a list of people we would be give some money to or help in various ways.

I‘d tell her, I’d have to as I would want her to know she had the opportunity to start that small holding she wants. She’d also probably guess that something was up when I spent less time at home and more time n places where there was sun and skydiving. Or snow and steep hills. Given that she’s better than me at both of those things, I’d want her there for the company and the coach8ng.

Family…yeah, not got much left of that now so I would want them to have something, although I might make it conditional on my mother not talking about Brexit.

I'd tell the wife but no one else. I don't have a relationship with most of my family. I'd wait until the money was in the bank and then collect her from work in some kind of overlanding vessel and tell her we were off for a few months.

If I won it we'd be set for life. If she won it her mother, brother, sister, cousins etc would slowly bleed her dry.

Mrs_oab and I would tell each other.

We would likely not tell others beyond our parents and kids.

A lavish lifestyle* doesn't work for us, so a big win would see us having enough to live on and an effort for the rest of our lives to give the money away to better causes than us.

(*Probably a slightly bigger house with no mortgage, a few trips to see family around the world, and an income yearly ongoing).

jambourgie
I’d tell the ex-wife, but not in a gloat.

Yeah right…

Don't judge by your own standards an all that. No, I'd tell her cos she's the mother of my son.
I don't do any lotteries anyway, so it's quite unlikely to happen

I'd get headhunted by some elusive billionaire with the intention to set up multi-disciplinary design consultancy/modular housing facility/green energy/carbon reduction tech companies and he'd give me free access and use of both his amazing house and any of the cars in the garage. Salary would be on the generous side too. ;o)

#coverstory

Like a batcave just with fractional less jet-cars and black rubber suits. 😆

Sounds dull, I'd be signed up for the full jet car and sex dungeon package.

Yep, but no one else and TBH I don't reckon anyone else would notice - mainly as we're old enough to early retire, wouldn't move (lovely plot in the country) and have always driven new(ish) cars.

We'd sort out the kids & grandkids, but they wouldn't need to know why/how as they'd just assume we'd 'liquidated' sone assets.

my wifegirlfriend is my number 1 cycling buddy. and drinking buddy.

me too

not sure who else would get told though.

Mrs_oab and I would tell each other.

We would likely not tell others beyond our parents and kids.

A lavish lifestyle* doesn’t work for us, so a big win would see us having enough to live on and an effort for the rest of our lives to give the money away to better causes than us.

(*Probably a slightly bigger house with no mortgage, a few trips to see family around the world, and an income yearly ongoing).

This, basically. When we talk/dream about it, we normally land on a post-lottery lifestyle that looks something like what we have now but without having to work, so that's something like:

- pay off mortgage and do whetever we want to do to our current house. We don't really want to move.
- have a yearly income that's about what we have now, as we're very comfortable on it and it allows us to do the things we want to do with people we want to do them with, i.e. our friends.
- we'd like to help friends/family do the same if we can and they want it
- if it's a monster win, I'd spend a lot of time giving a lot of it away.

We'd deffo tell each other and family. To be honest, I don't think I'd broadcast it, but I wouldn't lie to anyone that asked.

Honey, whose car is that?

Of course I'd tell my wife. I know the thread title is tongue in cheek, but I never understand why people get married to someone they don't seem to want to be with. My wife IS my best mate, its a bonus I fancy her and she seems to think I'm also not a minger!

I'd tell my family, and share as much of it out with them as I could. Friends (proper ones) would also get something if possible as well.  If it one of those silly 150m euro millions wins all my friends would be getting their mortgages paid off.

I don’t do any lotteries anyway, so it’s quite unlikely to happen

to be fair, it'd be reasonably unlikely to happen if you did do lotteries

If I won I'd definitely tell her before anyone else, and I'd put a large chunk in the joint account, but I think I'd maybe like to keep a substantial "slush fund" set aside...

It's not that I don't trust her, but I'm pretty sure she'd piss a lot of it away without fully considering the future. We've had the "what If" conversation a few times and she seems very keen on giving lots to charity, friends and family and going on holidays galore, while I'm dead set that I would never ever want to need to work again, be fully financially secure and I would want the kids able to live comfortably before anyone else got a look in...

Just different priorities and abilities with maths is all, so I'd hold back enough to cover her inevitable losses (and everything else)...

Honey, where did this bike-sized cardboard box come from?

I'd buy a new MTB....

I'm not sure she'd notice 🙂

My current wife, or the one I'd have if I was a multimillionaire 😉

Hello - saw the sign on the cloud and hit the Bogmobile
How can I be of assistance?

BTW It happened, she keeps asking me "what is an ice cream truck?"

Bloke at work said “if I ever win the lottery I’d organise a Perspex block with a million quid inside and get it dropped off in the car park. I’d then sit on it and tell people to go away as it’s all mine!”

Clearly thought about this a lot! Oddball.

I do have friends who are genuinely in need, I like to think that if I won the jackpot I'd anonymously help them out in some way. Likewise I'm not a flashy person so I'd be content to buy my own home, have it redecorated and put some cash aside to help my stepkids with deposits for their first homes and to pay for my elderly father's care home - even though he and I don't get along.

I'd sure as heck treat my missus to something nice though. That might sweeten the pill when I inform her that I've ordered another bike and some shiny custom parts for it.

my wife is my number 1 cycling buddy. and drinking buddy.
we would cycle tour the world , staying is s****ing hotels and visiting many drinking establishments.

^ This is genuinely lovely.

If you won the lottery, would you tell the wife?

Yes, just the wife assuming both of you are genuinely. No one else beyond that. Not even the children.

Screw it, if I won the Euromillions I would also make a handsome donation to my local foodbank, local CLP and Green Party and offer the Conservatives a shedload of cash in exchange for me being in charge of their next six election campaigns.

I do need a new car though, my current one is approaching it's sixteenth birthday. Nothing flash though, I reckon that a sensible Golf would see me to retirement.

Edit

I did miss this glorious typo though:

staying is s****ing hotels

- Ton's post has brightened my evening in more ways than one.

I did win the lottery.

The lottery of life when I met my wife and I tell her so regularly.

I’d probably offer to buy the neighbours house then demolish it as I’ve got no off road parking at the moment. And they’re mildly irritating. Probably a house somewhere in the Alps and on Tiree too.

Oh and of course the wife (to be) would know. Wouldn’t be marrying her otherwise.

Most people who win serious money on the lottery do end up getting divorced

I don't have a wife

MrsRNP dream lottery winning car would be a WW2 Willy's Jeep, she absolutely loves them, and it's just another reason why I married her.

Won £5 on Tuesdays euro millions 🤫

£7.50 in last month is that enough to get divorced over?

MrsRNP dream lottery winning car would be a WW2 Willy’s Jeep, she absolutely loves them, and it’s just another reason why I married her.

Sounds like a keeper!

Just dropped MrsMC and daughter at the station for a girls weekend in Eurodisney that I wasn't told about till last week.

I'm off to buy a lottery ticket. How far could I get with millions of pounds before 10.30 Sunday night?

Just dropped MrsMC and daughter at the station for a girls weekend in Eurodisney

I suspect she's won the lottery and not told you.

I suspect she’s won the lottery and not told you

Fair enough, the house is paid for anyway....