If...you were a traffic cop, what car would you pull and why?

I admire your honesty about your old car and drink problem

Doesn’t Northwind drive one of those?

Any T5 with a Hope or Santacruz sticker on the back. Just to see which forumite they are.

I think the reason is self explanatory…

Whatever the modern equivalent of the older chocolate brown Allegro or beige Marina. Driven by those committing crime to avoid drawing too much attention to themselves.

@Sandwich - I think you'll fins that's a green Mondeo on a 52/54 plate!

Any car with a pops n bangs map.

Any car with a 'chameleon' windscreen tint.

Any car with excessive 'stance'.

Any car with a shopping list on the side.

Any car with an excessively smoky remap.

And that's just for starters.

Whichever one that was breaking the law.

Anybody delivering hot food.
Mopeds and cars . Without fail piloted by people with scant regards to others and the speed limit, some of whom won't have the correct insurance in place for delivering said hot food.

Closely followed by our Irish gentle travelling folk. If it's a requirement for everyone else to have rfl , MOT ticket, valid licence and insurance then there's no reason for them to be exempt. Using the highway with no intention of paying a penny towards it's upkeep whilst it's enabling their nefarious activities, book em Dano

Do flatbed vans count?  Every single one that’s overloaded with washing machines/fridges/old bikes etc.

The ‘Why’ should be obvious.

Audi's (especially white ones) - just to see if their indicators do actually work

Blacked out windows and mucked about with number plates.  Driver wearing a hat.

And at the other end of the age spectrum, trilby or tissues on back shelf.

And at the other end of the age spectrum, trilby or tissues on back shelf.

Been a long time since I saw one of those! And I fall into that age bracket, I’ll have you know! I won’t have anything on the ‘parcel shelf’ in my car, it’ll obscure too much of my view out the back window, and anything sliding around would drive me nuts! Any hats get chucked on the back seat.

Blacked out windows and mucked about with number plates.

Won’t argue with that.

maccruiskeen Full Member
Doesn’t Northwind drive one of those?

He used to, but not for a few years now.

@countzero riding buddy was a copper, he said that the car modders were most likely to be fully documented. They were aware of the attention their cars would get from BIB so made sure they were legit. Also they took pride in the cars so wouldn’t risk them being impounded.

maccruiskeen Full Member
Doesn’t Northwind drive one of those?
He used to, but not for a few years now

done for driving uninsured?

What car?

Regardless of the brand,any tailgaters would be top of the list,but in a strong second place would be E-MX riders ,like the one on a Surron that hooned past me and small dog on the river path this morning.

Their ride, along with their balaclava, would be fast tracked to the nearest crusher.

Shift bingo....

By the end of the shift you need to have pulled over:-

• A left hander
• A man in chinos
• A woman in a miniskirt
• Someone call Kevin (without cheating and using the system)
• Someone with a chainsaw in the back.
• A married man travelling with a lady who is not his wife.

Then let you car prejudices and your frustrated inner detective, that never got a chance so you are stuck bored out of your mind as a traffic cop, work their magic to pull the right cars.

I'd pull the car that displayed probable cause. Profiling is just one of the many issues we have currently with the criminal justice system.

Using the highway with no intention of paying a penny towards it’s upkeep whilst it’s enabling their nefarious activities

Aye they don't pay road tax do they?

but in a strong second place would be E-MX riders

First place for me, bloody dangerous scrotes. Late the other night I was about to pull out onto a main road after the car coming along it and luckily spotted a few yards behind it were two blacked out yoofs on a blacked out Sur Ron or equivalent wheeling along at great speed. It was a close call I tell you.

The one with tons of parcels on the back seat, parcel shelf and every other nook and kranie in the car, none of it secure and im betting thier insurance policy does not include business use

Always see them driving around with their rear screen and rear side windows blocked, didnt realise how bad it was until an Amazon delivery depot opened up on my commute route, riding to work has got considerably more dangerous!

I'd say the ones that jump lights on very reddish amber, but that would be about every third car nowadays and there aren't enough hours in the day.

Although just occasionally it works out

https://twitter.com/SurreyRS/status/1786668462934282503

Any car with "Powered by fairy dust" on it.

Every Tesla until the owners get annoyed and buy a different car. I'd post every time on twitter and tag Elon in. The massive **** bag

Anyone with a 3D number plate. It’s the minimum punishment you deserve for your lack of taste.

any car that is too big for a typical british road................. or a **** car as i call them.

any type of pick up truck, and range rovers or copies of this, most SUV things.

basically any vehicle drive by a selfish ****........  who could most possibly be driving a normal saloon car.

Trades vans as according to the thread on here they all have a basic diet of coke and weed.  Stop em every day at 5 or so..

Any Audi or BMW.

Six years of motorway commuting and I can guarantee that they are the only makes that usually drive like entitled ****s.

I drive a BMW . With blacked out windows.
Looks like I'm due to get my collar felt by the stw driving standards authority very soon.

along with their balaclava, would be fast tracked to the nearest crusher.

Do they have to take it off first?

I drive a big 4x4 with tinted rear windows. Lock me up.

(It’s 20yo and tows a trailer most of the time however still lock me up)

:o)

Mobile phone users.

During whatever the last football tournament was (Euro 24? - don't know, don't care), I was behind some guy who had his phone on landscape mode on his dashboard with the match on it! I could see it through his rear window.

He'd have been pulled over immediately and then the phone smashed repeatedly against his head.

Mobile phone users.

Yeah the police should start using un-marked transit vans or something to catch phone users from the more elevated position, it would be like shooting fish in a barrel...

All Audi A3 S3's. You just know they are stolen and up to no good.

Anyone in a baseball cap. Pete Docherty was right

Oh… and people in pork pie hats. In case it’s Pete Docherty. He’s bound to be off his nut .

Golf mk4, usually black, diesel, remapped, loud exhaust, plumes of soot = dope smoker

Same applies to Fabia mk1 Vrs.

The white fiesta who did an amazing overtake across double white lines earlier. Sometimes I wish I was in police car.

Second 3D number plates.

the older chocolate brown Allegro

That would be Russet Brown.

mucked about with number plates.

I've never understood why they don't get pulled every 100 yards.

Personal number plates.

Just to ask what they mean

Yeah the police should start using un-marked transit vans or something to catch phone users from the more elevated position, it would be like shooting fish in a barrel…

There's an unmarked lorry patrols the A3/M25 sort of area and gets loads. Their twitter account is fun, apparently in some people's eyes unmarked cars and lorry 'isn't playing fair'

All the ones with mobile phones (I’ve even seen iPads) on holders stuck to the middle of the windscreen.

BMWs because most drivers are ****s.

Arborist trucks for drug swipe/booze blow/overweight with logs.

I’d also sit outside a pub and breathalyse everyone who comes out and gets into a vehicle.

I saw a van conversion that instead of a "GB" sticker on the rear had a "LSD" sticker, it also had stickers of mushrooms and fairy's - I'd hit em up...

And anyone parked like this:

Any 2015/16/17 BMW with a blue M on the back

Yeas, Any diesel VW, Beemer/ Audi badged up as an R, M or an S or whatever...usually accompanied with tatty aftermarket 'rims'.

Guarenteed to get a few violations on legality/roadworthiness, and possibly a large drugs haul... winner!

Where I live has a terrible problem with pavement / double yellow line parking. It's absolutely rife - often outside takeaways and almost always outside the local supermarket.

These cars would simply be blown up. As the owner "just nips into" the local shop, the police would be fully empowered to put the window through, lob a grenade in and then the bill for clean-up would be charged to the owner.

However, in a moment of civility, I would get them to remove babies/children and pets before the bonfire.

BMWs because most drivers are ****.

And Mercs. . . and indeed any other German make.

White vans and pickups at about 6:30pm as the pissed tradesmen are heading home for their tea.

The car with the person who threw a drinks can out the window while a marked car was behind them.

Also anyone parked on the zigzags at pedestrian crossings  even if it was only for two minutes.

Any one in an suv. Clearly they have no sense or they wouldn’t be driving one. I would start with range rovers and  go from there

Mercedes A class.

A decade or so back my answer would have been a Fiat Punto. YMMV

There’s an unmarked lorry patrols the A3/M25 sort of area and gets loads.

It's a national operation that's been running since 2014, variously called Op Orbital, Op Tramline, etc. https://www.gov.uk/government/news/unmarked-hgv-supercabs-will-patrol-m25-in-bid-to-reduce-road-collisions

Detects 5000 or so offences per year

Any car which is tailgating.  It’s frightening common and totally unnecessary.  In 90%+ of circumstances, there’s nowhere for them to go even if the car (less than 1m) in front of them wasn’t there.  Dangerous and ignorant.  Pulled, 6 points and £2000 should be the default.

Any car with “Powered by fairy dust” on it.

Unless qualified with "Driven by Jabba the Hut"

Mobile phone users.
Yeah the police should start using un-marked transit vans or something to catch phone users from the more elevated position, it would be like shooting fish in a barrel…

As already noted, the police use an unmarked tractor-unit to spot truck drivers misbehaving, some of the video is unbelievable, just because the drivers are high up they just think they can do anything they want, because nobody can see them.

All the ones with mobile phones (I’ve even seen iPads) on holders stuck to the middle of the windscreen.

Dunno about iPads, but that would mean hundreds, maybe thousands of people who’s only access to a decent satnav would be their phone on a suction holder on the screen, like I used to do for many thousands of miles, because a great majority of the vehicles I used to drive either had no built-in satnav, or else anything built-in would take far too much time to try to set up for the trip I would be doing to deliver the vehicle, with no guarantee it had been updated. My phone was always set so it’s bottom edge rested on the dash, to stop it vibrating. An iPad Mini would work just fine, it’s not much bigger than many phones these days.

Yes, it could be attached to the dash, but then there’s the problem that I keep banging on about, car dashboards becoming one huge screen that you have to take your eyes off the road to use; with a phone, or a dedicated satnav unit on the screen, it’s easy to just glance at to confirm what the voice instruction has said.

eddiebaby

Free Member

White vans and pickups at about 6:30pm as the pissed

You'd be disappointed pulling me over, in that case.

Dunno about iPads, but that would mean hundreds, maybe thousands of people who’s only access to a decent satnav would be their phone on a suction holder on the screen, like I used to do for many thousands of miles, because a great majority of the vehicles I used to drive either had no built-in satnav, or else anything built-in would take far too much time to try to set up for the trip I would be doing to deliver the vehicle, with no guarantee it had been updated. My phone was always set so it’s bottom edge rested on the dash, to stop it vibrating. An iPad Mini would work just fine, it’s not much bigger than many phones these days.

I still use my phone as a Sat Nav. It's either tucked away and just the voice prompts used or attached to the bottom right of the windshield so I can glance at it and it's not obstructing my view. Middle of the windshield, then your car gets exploded like mentioned up there

Closely followed by our Irish gentle travelling folk

how would you determine their nationality from outside the vehicle?

Nobody buys one of these with the intention of obeying speed limits.

Nobody buys one of these with the intention of obeying speed limits.

I think they are actually geo-fenced these days so the car knows if it's on a recognised race track etc. and it removes the limiters.

I think it will still 'only' be limited to 140mph on public roads though, and not any limit on acceleration/ I don't know the details.

But let's be honest, it's not people buying super expensive 'hyper cars' that are the real problem, it's karen in her range rover sport!

maybe thousands of people who’s only access to a decent satnav would be their phone on a suction holder on the screen,

It should probably be mounted on an air vent rather than on the windscreen.. that could be illegal in itself as it could obscure vision...

...but more to the point..is not having a touch screen that's a really a problem... it's fiddling with it/watching videos etc, whilst driving, not just using it as a sat nav.

That's why drivers really need to be caught in the act.. just having google maps on or whatever GPS I would say is ok, as you don't need to interact with it.  Scrolling twitter and watching ticktoc videos, is not.

People’s preconceptions are interesting. I doubt you’d get much of a hit pulling modified cars - most are driven by people who pay through the nose for insurance, complain about it a lot on forums, but nonetheless are fully legit and are fastidiously kept that way. Likewise anyone in a GT-R is pretty unlikely to drive anywhere like a loon as they just stand out too much.

I’d start with any disheveled anonymous repmobile that has a hint of being a pool car.

The few traffic cops I’ve met on bikesafe or driver instruction days seem to have an eerie sixth sense for picking out the right people. I’ve been pulled twice in 30 years. Both times I wasn’t doing anything actually wrong, but looking back I’ll admit I looked out of place and they could tell.

I’d start with any disheveled anonymous repmobile that has a hint of being a pool car.

I've been pulled over twice and both times I was driving exactly this type of car. First one was a Mondeo that had definitely seen better days (it was back when I was a poor graduate) and - looking back at it - it was exactly the sort of thing that would have been cheaper to run it uninsured and just pay the fine if I was caught.

It was of course fully legal but the nice policeman gave it and me a thorough inspection.

I was just unfortunate enough to drive it through the middle of some big "crackdown area" along the M6, there were loads of marked and unmarked cars on patrol up a maybe 5-8 mile stretch.

Any one in an suv. Clearly they have no sense or they wouldn’t be driving one. I would start with range rovers and  go from there

Anyone in an estate car, that hasn’t realised the benefit of an SUV over an estate

Anyone smoking, to include vaping, middle lame drivers , anyone doing 40-55mph in a 60

Any car with a green P on it with people embarking on a journey that are looking vaguely like home care helpers from an african nation, if the HMO in the village that has 4 bangers parked at varying angles across the pavement  in the braking bushes , or using the handbrake lamp post the council so handily provided to stop them rolling downhill  generally with panels or windows missing ,I can pretty much guarantee that the people running out the back door and down the snicket are the users , mrs smith the ever so polite 70 year old who takes the lodgers doesnt own any of them, and that none are insured or even have an owner with a license that has been obtained with any level of driving standard other than yes , yes , you showed up, thats a pass.

Anyone in a white Velar.

how would you determine their nationality from outside the vehicle?

I obviously don't know where you live , but in the south east of England it's a constant battle between the council and the travelling community.

Their usual tactics are to gain entry to a field . Start a mini crime wave , fill field with rubbish , get evicted, move to the next town and repeat.

These movements also mirror events like the Wickham horse festival, derby , Goodwood races.

Locally the latest group upped their tactics to doing snatch and grab runs stealing phones and bags from the younger generation.

The police know exactly where they are within hours but allow them transport to be able to leave their patch

Plus the Irish number plate is a giveaway.

All the trades Vans leaving any pub car park about 5.30.

Black rear index plates.

Also, saw a Carnie lorry coming out of Cardiff the other day.

Trailer had a broken number plate and one brake light working. Then it's next trailer had a different number, then the tractor unit (back) different number. I was a passenger and glanced back, and you know what a different index on the front of the tractor unit.

Also, index plates in the window. See the same car/s everyday.

All the ones that give out a smell of weed as they go past....

Any car with an 'Arnold Clark' yellow sticker in the window. It's where people who don't care go an buy their cars. The full bingo is a brightly coloured Nissan Juke, almost invariably the drivers of which look surprised that they've somehow managed to end up on the motorway.

Either that or the BMW M2 - false plates an optional extra; which according to the cops who hard stopped me on the M62 a few years back is "the choice of car for the discerning drug runner"

All the drug dealers by me drive completely nondescript cars, basic ford focus, astras ect. So one of those with a couple of lads in would be a start.

Any car with an ‘Arnold Clark’ yellow sticker in the window. It’s where people who don’t care go an buy their cars.

Or where Derbyshire County Council hire cars from for staff doing long days out

Throwing out the window.

Whichever one that was breaking the law.

that would be all of them then 🙂

Also, saw a Carnie lorry coming out of Cardiff the other day...

"Carnie" = Showman??

They're exempt from pretty much everything, including some ULEZ, so you might get a defective brake light out of it. They're professional and will know the law better than you 🙂

Examples:

Operator's licence: Exempt
Tacho: Exempt
VED: £165 (Special Vehicles Tax class 14 - half the price of a small van)
Goods vehicle test: Exempt

They’re also exempt from rules governing length and articulation of the train. Hence you can have tractor, dolly, articulated trailer with the ride then a caravan which itself might be dolly hauled. I seem to remember that the tractor having a genset bolted to it and not carrying anything else basically excludes it from all rules ever.