If you couldn't eat anything for 24 hours....

Pizza. Maybe two

Or sausage and mash, with baked beans.

...after 24h of not eating, you may be surprised how little you can eat.  Your stomach will have contracted substantially.

Beforehand, I wouldn't change much, but afterwards...maybe a nice fillet Stroganoff or a (proper) pie.

Wild mung bean curry with Himalayan goat hair…

Not sure about the 'before'.

But for the after - toast and strawberry jam served by a nurse in the recovery room as you come round from aesthetic - there is absolutely nothing finer.

It probably depends on the timings. What time of the day does your fast end?

…after 24h of not eating, you may be surprised how little you can eat

Years ago I was on an escape and evasion exercise. 48 hrs no food. I can confirm you will have no trouble whatsoever

It probably depends on the timings. What time of the day does your fast end?

I can't eat from now and I reckon that by the time I've finished being poked and prodded and I'm back home its going to be late afternoon

Probably worth making sure your before is fairly plain and low on fibre so your picolax experience goes a little easier.  They should give a list of foodstuffs for the prep for 48 hours ahead.

edit - maybe try the above next time

Fwiw a lovely nurse will offer you two of toast and a brew when you wake up.

but afterwards…maybe a nice fillet Stroganoff or a (proper) pie.

@BadlyWiredDog - I think you've just made me seriously reconsider my initial choice

Boring, but overnight oats.  Avoids potential issues with overloading.

Make it in a jam jar and eat with a small teaspoon to slow down a bit.

Nothing worse than a scoff then vomit. (Technically not true but you get my meaning)

But for the after – toast and strawberry jam served by a nurse in the recovery room as you come round from aesthetic – there is absolutely nothing finer.

How did you know he's on the William Morris ward?

Chicken, sausage and leek pie* with mini rosemary and garlic roasties .

Veg on the side.

* full wrap, not one of those stupid versions with a pastry lid.

😉

Pizza, the biggest, thickest, glutenest, cheesiest, greasiest pizza imaginable. Probably won't want to eat for 24h after that!

But for the after – toast and strawberry jam served by a nurse in the recovery room as you come round from aesthetic – there is absolutely nothing finer.

This is an indelible fact of life.

Full Sunday roast (on whatever day you finish your starvation)

All things considered, I’m going for a big ribeye steak and chips

Jesus, just imagine the blockage with your "sensitive internal organs" in the morning.

I'd be eating something with MASSES of some cheesey or creamy sauce on it.

When you wake up?! Amateurs...

Take it like a (wo)man and then you can nip in the pub on the way home for two pints of lager and a packet of crisps.

You boys are all assuming the 'nurse' in the recovery room, with 2 perfectly crisp warm buttered pieces of toast, spread with jam is a pretty, young woman. The nurse could just as well be a big butch weight training male (wink).

Hope it all goes well Binners.

I was ill once for a few days and inhaled a rice dish full of chicken and veg as my first meal.

Something light before and after. Your gut will take a few days to settle from the experience.

24 hours is not actually all that long to go without food.  Don't overthink it.

Before – massive sausage, bacon and egg butty (it was good)

hmm - hasn't been seen again yet , has it ? 🤐

(and I'd be letting my guts warm up on something easy and save the steak for the day after)

Chilli Con Carne - Hot. Washed down with an Ale (Ice Cold in Alex stylee).

You boys are all assuming the ‘nurse’ in the recovery room, with 2 perfectly crisp warm buttered pieces of toast, spread with jam is a pretty, young woman. The nurse could just as well be a big butch weight training male

Not at all - I wouldn't care it if it was Geoff Capes serving it -  it's just the toast and jam - either the NHS have got some sort of secret supply of divine jam and perfect, cloud-like white bread. Or sedatives and anaesthetics just make everything taste better.

Perhaps Heston Blumenthal should try offering a little tray of Propofol hors d'oeuvres as part of the Fat Duck dining experience. Although I guess that would require guests having an hour or two's sleepy time before the next course. (although if you'd have to sell a kidney to afford to eat there.....two birds one stone and all that)

Chicken bacon and haggis in a peppercorn sauce with chips.

I'f you come up ill shout you that above meal in the crown plus a couple of staropramen

A Calzone filled with lots of cheese and spicy, meaty goodness. Before and after. 🍕

You could try something new how about vegan main course soup?

Or sprout and sweet potato samosas?

I had a custard cream after a day off food and general anaesthetic.

It was literally the best thing I have EVER eaten. Genuinely. Like angels singing on my tongue.

When I told the nurses this they looked at me like I was still high on anesthetic and gave me another. This ( identical in every way) tasted like a bog basic custard cream and was a very large disappointment.

So ONE custard cream followed by what ever you like.

My first meal back would be chip shop chips. A double portion. I'd bring them into the house 5 mins before the 24hrs was up and torture myself with the smell. Brown sauce and extra S&V ready if I could handle it and .....I know this might be sacrilege - a good chilli sauce for dipping.

Before would have to be a well stuffed bacon sandwich with lashings of butter so it melts and trickles down my chin, with tomato ketchup.

I would only have one thing in mind afterwards. Cheesy beans on toast with 2 slices of Roberts extra thick toastie loaf, and again, lashings of butter.

I've just had my dinner and am now salivating over that.

wrong thread

You boys are all assuming the ‘nurse’ in the recovery room, with 2 perfectly crisp warm buttered pieces of toast, spread with jam is a pretty, young woman. The nurse could just as well be.....

TJ!

If you're having a camera into the fundament you'll be fine to eat whatever you fancy.

You're overthinking it - unless, of course, it's something  a bit more serious.

Nothing more serious Frank, fortunately. Only that particular indignity

Picolax Armageddon is well underway and that should definitely be the name of a Norwegian Death Metal band 😃

Ice cream....

Firstly...

Years ago I was on an escape and evasion exercise. 48 hrs no food. I can confirm you will have no trouble whatsoever

Makes mental note to never **** with Kormoran.

Secondly...

#prayforbinners

after 24h of not eating, you may be surprised how little you can eat.  Your stomach will have contracted substantially.

This.  In my experience it tends to be that you go from ravenous to full/bloated quite quickly.

Before, a bowl of cold Scottish oats with a sliced banana in milk.

After, a single cold salted caramel hot cross bun.

Don't have steak.  Nice steak needs to be pretty bloody and that could be a bit if a difficult digest on a post picolax tummy.  Go with a slow cooked beef stew type dish of your choice.

after 24h of not eating, you may be surprised how little you can eat. Your stomach will have contracted substantially.

This. In my experience it tends to be that you go from ravenous to full/bloated quite quickly.

This +1.

I fast a few times a year, 2 of them are 25 hours (no drink either, even water! Make sure you're properly hydrated beforehand if you're off drink as well).  Anyway, IME it's exactly what's said above. A drink is welcome, then some coffee & cake and a light meal such as soup or fish works great.

I'm in the middle of this at the moment. You lot recommending Scotch oats and bloody steak haven't read the leaflet!

https://www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/health-information/colonoscopy-diet-advice-and-bowel-preparation/2-days-your-colonoscopy

And as for this:

a well stuffed bacon sandwich with lashings of butter

That's a recipe for loads of colonoscopies in the future, surely...?

Sort yourself out a nice stew, top it off with a slice of puff pastry 😜

Or have a pie

You'll probably be encouraged to look at the screen seeing what the endoscopist is seeing as the camera is wiggled around your bendy bits.

Ah, that's what the pipes look like when they've been cleaned.

There will be another couple of medicos in the room so while the endoscopist is telling you what they're seeing the others could be having random chats about...holidays, what's good in the sales and other random stuff - which goes some way to 'normalising' what's happening.

@binners - did you decide?

FWIW, I've had the camera in both ends and the one down is far worse than the one up. Didn't have sedation or gas+air either. It's weird but not that bad.

I went home and had a bacon butty after the camera up. With Dylan's brown sauce FTW

FWIW, I’ve had the camera in both ends and the one down is far worse than the one up

depends on what order they do them in and whether they give it wipe in between.

@binners – did you decide?

@ElShalimo - after all the advice on here and Mrs Binners telling me not to be so bloody stupid I've decided I'm going to cook a herb and parmesan crusted cod loin with Jersey royals, about half a cows worth of garlic butter and roasted asparagus with more parmesan, wrapped in parma ham

After an 'interesting' picolax-fuled night I now feel like this. I think I did actually see a rusting shopping trolley at one point. Off to hospital shortly. See you on the other side...

bonne chance and don't forget to smile when they take the photos

🙃

Mrs Binners telling me not to be so bloody stupid I’ve decided I’m going to cook a herb and parmesan crusted cod loin with Jersey royals, about half a cows worth of garlic butter and roasted asparagus with more parmesan, wrapped in parma ham

Tenner says he pops into Greggs for a sharpener on the way back.

You're not going to get anyone betting against that 😀

I once did over 72 hours due to acute pancreatitis.

Fore and aft nosebags were of no interest to me!

Goat curry, garlic naan and some pilau rice. MMM

Well I’m still alive, but there a few small bits less of my internal organs than there was at lunchtime

More importantly… FOOD?!!!

When I came round from the anaesthetic I had one thing and one thing only in my head, and  once it’s in my head nothing else is going to cut it. No way was my previously mentioned cod loin going to get a look in. That can wait for tomorrow

I NEEDED BRATWURST!!

So this was tea… two bratties with strong Red Leicester, loads of fried shallots and smothered in Tommy K, on white finger rolls, obvs. Both of which were absolutely inhaled! 😃

Take that colon!!!!!

1 kg of ground beef and 6 fried eggs. Can go 24 hours easy. Do this regularly on the carnivore diet.  Feel great.

I hope it was nothing on screen that subliminally triggered your craving for something looking like an overpacked kebab.

Jesus Christ I thought that was roadkill

Looks suspiciously like margarine on those buns, I expected better, like lashings of butter!

Looks suspiciously like margarine on those buns

Margarine on the buns is part of the preparation for the scope

Looks suspiciously like margarine on those buns, I expected better, like lashings of butter!

How very dare you?!! We don’t have that muck in this house!! We’re not savages! Strictly Lurpak only 😃

Phew! That's a relief to know Binners 😁

Denby plates?

They are indeed. Simple and classic

Its almost insulting to besmirch them with the filth I generally eat off them 😃

I'm not angry, I'm disappointed. And angry...

Jesus Christ I thought that was roadkill

I thought the dog needed worming 🪱

Your thoughts on Bratwurst for breakfast?

I've had a couple of pieces of ardennes pate on thick, buttered toast so far, but I'm going to take some filling up today

Recovery Pie 🙂

Take that colon!!!!!

I'd heard they had a new album out

Take that colon!!!!!
I’d heard they had a new album out

Its a reworking of their greatest hits

How deep is your love? (about elbow deep)

Get ready for it (this is going to take a lot of Marg)

Hold up a light (but don't strike a match)

Patients

Back(side) for good

Could it be Polyp?

Take that colon!!!!!

I’d heard they had a new album out

"Slide it in" by Whitesnake seems (in)appropriate.

Tunnel of Love 😁

I once did over 72 hours due to acute pancreatitis.

Same here, but I was 5 days with no food, just 10ml of water and hour 😫

At the end of it the thing I craved most was just flavour and a small glass of fresh orange was just the job!

10ml of water and hour

100ml an hour

🙄