If a suicide bomber...
 

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[Closed] If a suicide bomber...

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... blows himself up, he believes that he'll now get 99 virgins in paradise (there's your insecure male fantasy right there) or some suchlike. What if the suicide bomber was female, I'm guessing she's not so hung up on the promise of multiple sexual partners without any possible previous sexual history. What does she have to look forward to...?


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 5:50 pm
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I'd have to read up to be sure; i seem to remember she'll be reincarnated as a blue-jay, and will be able to sit and listen to her village elders reciting passages from the Koran.

Might be wrong, though.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 5:52 pm
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Rabbit.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 5:53 pm
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Qwerty, is that with the batteries included?


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:10 pm
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What does she have to look forward to...?

Is it you respecting her right to work as an assistant referee/lineswoman...well you got have a dream eh


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:12 pm
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is that with the batteries included?

Mains operated, it's heaven innit.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:14 pm
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Is it you respecting her right to work as an assistant referee/lineswoman...well you got have a dream eh

Keep trying buddy, you'll get there eventually... 🙄


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:20 pm
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Raisins, innit?


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:22 pm
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Mains operated, it's heaven innit.

Of course! Silly me. 😉


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:24 pm
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I never understood why 99 virgins (it's 72 actually) was considered an ultimate reward.

a) after 72 sessions you'd run out of virgins, and

b) who the hell wants 72 nervous, inexperienced partners? Now, 72 sluts, I'd be tempted to strap on the TNT myself.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:35 pm
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In seriousness,

As I understand it, the 'virgins' reward is supposed to go to all males (along with a permanent erection to cope with them), irrespective of the nature of their check-out. What women get, or even if they go to 'heaven,' I've absolutely no idea. Anyone know?


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:37 pm
 Mr_C
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72 Virgins you say.

[img] [/img]
[img] [/img]

No, Thanks


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:39 pm
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In some places the family of the bomber get money to support them. It isn't just about the afterlife.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:41 pm
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I never understood why 99 virgins (it's 72 actually) was considered an ultimate reward.
a) after 72 sessions you'd run out of virgins, and
b) who the hell wants 72 nervous, inexperienced partners? Now, 72 sluts, I'd be tempted to strap on the TNT myself.

😆


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:43 pm
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Keep trying buddy, you'll get there eventually.

Nope not getting yor point tbh? What is it?
it's 72 actually

this is what the prophet [ not in the Koran] said awaited everyone in heaven and it was wifes and it also included 8000 servants and it is the least reward
we are having a scholarly debate aren't we?

Just seen your edit so a bit redundant now


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:43 pm
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In seriousness,
As I understand it, the 'virgins' reward is supposed to go to all males (along with a permanent erection to cope with them), irrespective of the nature of their check-out. What women get, or even if they go to 'heaven,' I've absolutely no idea. Anyone know?

An eternity free of persecution maybe...


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:44 pm
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Googling would suggest that in Paradise, "Women shall derive benefit from what they acquired" and that "they shall have whatever they wish with their Lord."

Seems that women are a bit of a P.S. in the Qur'an, "oh yeah, they'll be ok too", but sounds to me like they get the better deal.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:45 pm
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we are having a scholarly debate aren't we?

Well, I expect the typical Four Phase STW Thread™.

Phase 1) Someone starts a humorous thread.

Phase 2) A serious, mature and sensible discussion breaks out.

Phase 3) Someone takes umbrage, and it descends into arguing and squabbles.

Phase 4) I take the hump and close the file.

We're transitioning between phases 1) and 2) currently.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:54 pm
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72 virgins to last you all eternity - and they'll only be virgins once...

I guess the aim of a lady martyr would be not to die a virgin.

Where are all these virgins being killed? I'm surprised they can keep up with demand.

edit: eternity - not maternity - although for a virgin they last the same amount of time


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 6:56 pm
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I work alongside a Muslim prison officer & a while ago this question came up about 72 virgins etc & his response was 'It's a pile of bollox'.
So now you know.

(actually, I'm not sure cos Faz, or 'Fiz' as we call him, gets drunk quite often, which is BAAD, for a Muslim)


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:01 pm
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We're transitioning between phases 1) and 2) currently.

Speak for yourself I am at three already 😉


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:01 pm
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this question came up about 72 virgins etc & his response was 'It's a pile of bollox'.

I'm no expert, but I'm fairly sure he's wrong.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:03 pm
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Eternity, it's a terribly long time really. 72 wouldn't be enough.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:08 pm
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I mean, what the hell else are you supposed to do for that long.

I'd end up with a jigsaw puzzle the size if Yorkshire just for something to do.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:10 pm
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[i] As I understand it, the 'virgins' reward is supposed to go to all males (along with a permanent erection to cope with them), irrespective of the nature of their check-out. What women get, or even if they go to 'heaven,' I've absolutely no idea. Anyone know?

An eternity free of persecution maybe... [/i]

I was going to say 'get treated like equal human beings' but then I realised this is religion we're talking about. Never mind.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:12 pm
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[i]I'm no expert, but I'm fairly sure he's wrong.[/i]

He's not a very good Muslim to be fair, so he could be wrong. I'm not saying he's got a drink problem but he does go on the 'lads nights out & leaving do's'.
Just do NOT tell his Mum, she'd be livid if she found out about his alcohol consumption.
To me though he's one of the boyz. 😆


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:23 pm
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Who says the virgins are female anyway?


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:23 pm
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To me though he's one of the boyz.

Is there beach volleyball? Lots of high fiving and bum slapping?


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:26 pm
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[i]I'm no expert, but I'm fairly sure he's wrong. [/i]
um, I'm with Faz (or Fiz) it's definitely bollox.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:26 pm
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retro83 - Member
Who says the virgins are female anyway?

POSTED 3 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST


Or human.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:27 pm
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Heaven sounds so Lame... dressed in white, hanging out with virgins, do-gooders and martyrs... yawn!

I bet its only "designated trails" as well.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:31 pm
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dressed in white, hanging out with virgins, do-gooders and martyrs... yawn!

Apple Store?


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:32 pm
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[i]Is there beach volleyball? Lots of high fiving and bum slapping?[/i]

Yep, loads!


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:33 pm
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I would hope the CSA are forgiving in paradise.
If you want more virgins you will have to become a serial offender. The virgin rate increases on a logarithmic scale! 🙂


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 7:42 pm
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Do the poor girls get any choice? It's like - we have this scrawny little bloke with no education, an excessive interest in guns and making loud bangs, and an awful lot of scar tissue, or you can have this one, scrawny little bloke...


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 8:21 pm
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... blows himself up, he believes that he'll now get 99 virgins in paradise (there's your insecure male fantasy right there) or some suchlike. What if the suicide bomber was female, I'm guessing she's not so hung up on the promise of multiple sexual partners without any possible previous sexual history. What does she have to look forward to...?

Just goes to show the power of [s]brain washing[/s] religion. Those of weak minds......

Religion - the root of all evil.


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 8:33 pm
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What happens if a gay Muslim blows himself up? 72 hunky virgins? 72 hunky walls?


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 8:49 pm
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[IMG] [/IMG]


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 10:04 pm
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What happens if a gay Muslim blows himself up?
Probably doesn't get into "heaven", I'm pretty sure being gay rules that out.

Extremist heaven is probably full of dudes waiting for somebody to think on and blow up a double-decker full of virgins with their exact same idealogy..

I'd end up with a jigsaw puzzle the size if Yorkshire just for something to do

You would already [i]be[/i] a jigsaw puzzle spread out of an area the size of Yorkshire...


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 11:03 pm
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You would already be a jigsaw puzzle spread out of an area the size of Yorkshire...

^^^^now that was a genuine lol ^^^^^


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 11:16 pm
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What does she have to look forward to...?

She's aloud out of the house without the table-cloth over her head...


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 11:22 pm
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the real question is if an illegal immigrant suicide bomber blows up a room full of pedophiles what would the Daily Mail have to say about it?


 
Posted : 15/06/2013 11:32 pm
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Of the 72, how many would do anal?


 
Posted : 16/06/2013 12:28 am
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...I sense a transition to phase 3.


 
Posted : 16/06/2013 12:44 am
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72 virgins

I'd want some specifics about the virgins really. Can you imagine sacrificing everything and blowing yourself up, only to wake up in games workshop.


 
Posted : 16/06/2013 7:24 am
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The horror


 
Posted : 16/06/2013 8:03 am
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I'm no expert, but I'm fairly sure he's wrong.

Well, I got it, well played, Cougar.


 
Posted : 16/06/2013 8:53 am
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Cougar - Moderator
I never understood why 99 virgins (it's 72 actually) was considered an ultimate reward....

It's actually dead simple.

One for each bit of suicide bomber....

And just pray they find your working parts for eternal pleasure. 🙂


 
Posted : 16/06/2013 9:26 am

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