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Slice Scotch Bonnets for a salsa. Go for piss before washing hands.
Ow. And possibly more ows.

Just don't rub away your tears with the same hand.
I remember a chap actually creasing up onto the floor of the gents in my local pub about 15 years ago after doing much the same - a bottle of Dave's insanity sauce did the rounds because several of the regulars had told me previously it couldn't be that hot. It was not a floor you really wanted to stand on, let alone roll about.
I have a mate who a few years ago decided to make a meal for ( his now ex) girlfriend, and put a few chili's in it. His plan worked to a certain point until they started intimate then she suddenly discovered he hadn't washed his hands after cooking. I believe the night ended abruptly after that.
>Idiot
You called?
If you take your contact lenses out (even after washing) it stings. Next morning (if you're using monthlies) it also hurts and gets expensive when you have to throw them away.
Been there done that. Chilli was great through.