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I've realised that both my 14 y-o and myself are starting to see the effects of not being able to socialise as we used to.
I'm still working (from home), but regular zoom meetings with colleagues that I've never actually met in real life are not really cutting it when I haven't seen actual mates for weeks and weeks. (I just started this job in September). I live in Wales, so we're being encouraged to not see other people at all.
My son is only with us half of the time and is being a superstar at accepting that he just can't go out, but I can see his behaviour changing too.
My partner is fabulous, and is still working, so gets to see patients all day, but I'm just missing all the day-to-day interactions. I do realise that there are people in far worse straits than me, but maybe they'd find something to help, too.
So I thought I'd try starting a thread which I'd like to be full of positive suggestions as to how to alleviate these slightly lonely feelings, without it becoming a platform for a) bashing those people who are not following the rules as some of us see them or b) telling us all how crap this government is. Oh - ideally no Brexit bashing either - I agree that's its crap, but it's not going to help here...
I'm sure there are others who are feeling this way, and hopefully some who have found something that works for them, so please share!
I find getting out on the bike helps. If you can do something with your son. My son is 20, but only got part time job at present, but been helping him fix his car when needed. He's missing being able to see friends, but on-line games alot.
Buy a gaming console for youreslf and one for your son.
My kids socialise way more with their friends than I did when I was their age without ever having to leave their bedrooms.
Volunteer to help the community in some way
+1 Volunteering is a good idea.
In the first lockdown I ended up doing deliveries for the local fruit and veg shop to vulnerable and shielding people. It fairly rapidly expanded into deliveries for several of the local shops, all of which was coordinated by the fruit and veg shop. In general, recipients were very grateful and happy to have a quick (distanced) chat, plus there was good camaraderie with the other delivery folk (mainly via whatsapp).
I'm having to home school the kids now while my wife (teacher) is in work so can't do the deliveries any more, and it has made me appreciate how much it helped with feelings of loneliness and helplessness.
Volunteering is indeed a good idea, my local vaccination centre is looking for non-healthcare volunteers, so that way you meet lots of people and feel like you are helping us get out of this 🙂
Ooh, I like the volunteering idea - thank you.
He has an xbox, so he's not cometely cut off, but I just wanted some other ideas. I'm not a gamer, and I'm not sure how that would help me (it's definitely made it a little easier for him, though)
Firstly well done for raising this issue. I feel that young people are being massively undervalued and left behind by all of the shenanigans linked to this pandemic. They are constantly berated for meeting up yet people do not realise that by being a member of a household they are denied ALL physical access to their friends. It's a terrible situation and whilst it is great we are protecting the elderly at some point we need to turn and face the young people who have had their lives put on hold for nearly a year.
It sounds counter to all the usual advice (about getting outdoors) but encourage him to play and interact with others online. He needs to be interacting with those in his age/peer group and at the moment there's really only one channel to do this, the internet. If there is something he likes to do that is constructive and translates, so much the better. Make a video with others by sharing and editing clips. Put together a song. Build a Minecraft world. Code an app. Make an interactive map of places you'll meet up post lockdown. Anything that means communicating, sharing and working with others. My wife and I made a series of spoof album covers with ourselves as the subject. Anything out of the norm and engaging helps.
If you go for a walk then theme it. For example, let's go and see if we can find some hedgeporn. I wonder what's up that lane we never walk up? Who can record the weirdest sound on their phone. Give him something to look forward to as part of it rather than just getting out. And while you are out there ask him some proper adult stuff, get him thinking, what does he think of the pandemic? how would he solve it? Has he ever thought about how the wheel got invented?
My kids are 14 and 17. School and college returning made me realise what lockdown had done to them, and I know both of them chat to friends all day online, have done Zoom meetings for Scouts, Guides, music and gymnastics.
Zoom quizzes with friends have been popular, virtual pub nights.
Volunteering would be good if you can - helps kids understand that some things only happen because someone will sacrifice time and effort, whatever activity it is
Got some elderly neighbours you can garden or shop for. Someone who can't get out to walk their dog as much as they'd like because of isolation or similar.
As crap as facebook is, the local group we have in our area is quite useful for small things like this as is a whatsapp group of people with dogs. These aren't people who are long term 'friends' but people with who I can ask for favours or offer help.
Beyond that, talking to people, either via phone or video is better than just text messages a lot of the time, but even an occasional text is better than nothing for people who are lacking in human contact.
Do you have the space / skills / motivation to build / fix something together?
Depending on your skills / space / money you could alter the project. Maybe something small so that its not a big long project initially.
For you - a zoom / facetime / messenger video pub night with pals. You all get set up with the refreshing beverage of your choice and sit and talk shite
We did it a few times and it really was quite good fun.