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My twin daughters are 21 in October this year.
Im strugglng for a gift idea. They are both away at college during term time. The weekend of theit birthday they are running Cardiff half marathon for charity.
My ex wife will be going there, and due to a painful divorce i wont go to places where she is going to be. My ex knows this, so makes an effort to attend showcase events to display her wonderful daughters. The kids lived with me since our divorce and live with me when they are home from university.
The girls are v different. Im currwntly in Les Gets for a fortnight DH with one, the other is still doung her nursing placements. They never ask for anything, although they are funded through college by me. They have their own car, shared, that i fund entirely. I cant afford to provide a car each for them.
Im really stuck with what to get them as a gift or experience. I have been on all sorts of adventures and hols with them, but i wanted to get a special gift. It doesnt have to be expensive, just something that means something to us both.
My mother asked me the same question about their birthday, all i could think was a ladies G-shock watch for thr more ourdoorsie one. Neither of them really wear jewelry, one doesnt even have pierced ears. They both had a handsome dress watch for their 18th, and they love those.
Any ideas?
I'd be leaning towards "experiences" here. Something memorable that the three of you can do, maybe?
Skydiving?
Cash is always popular with young people. And old people for that matter.
They are students and dont seem to lack cash with the funding i give them.
Id like something more permanent, even a memory of a great day.
Difficult one :(. 'classic' jewelry of some sort? If they don't normally wear it then it is even more useful to have something that can be work on the few occasions that they need it.
Having said that though, I think I'd probably remember having done something special with my dad but it's difficult to know what :(.
Long weekend on a narrow boat. Teamwork, relaxation, lots of fun. Meals in the pub.
sounds like you’ve done a great job with them and they appreciate you already. Experiences will always last
Mine’s in Vietnam/Cambodia/Hong King before his 21st in three weeks. He’s been gone three weeks and I can only assume he is still alive based on absence of Foreign Office contact
Spa weekend in Iceland with a chance of seeing the Northern lights?
An iPad or Macbook air or Samsung Note 9 for each one.
Ouch! The wallet.
😀
Coke and, oh, erm, gigalos?
Def not tech - transient
Def not cash - you do enough of that already
Either a keeper item or a keeper memory.
Maybe a nice pen or a nice wine bottle opener - bother with an engraved message.
But as they are twins and given your trio status I think a joint experience would be best. I like both the canal holiday and sky diving ideas above a lot.
Nice pen? Bit like a watch, but I got a nice one for my 18th and another for my 30th, and always enjoy using them.
Pen? Does anybody actually write nowadays?
Good point. Get them a nice keyboard.
Pen? Does anybody actually write nowadays?
Those of us who are literate never stopped. You?
Photo album(s)? May or may not be naff depending on what photos you put into it.
Those of us who are literate never stopped. You?
I use pencil but not the mechanic type. 😀
I like the narow boat idea. We always love going away together. Im not sure it has enough excitement for them, as they are into riding motorcyle trials and DH mtb. There is also the oroblem of termtimes and so it would have to be Easter as i guess Christmas would be grim. A pen is lovely idea too. They both write lots of notes on their current courses.
thanks for the suggestions. Anything else and im happy to listen 🙂
Be a watch or a necklace if it was me. Engraved with a message. Being really boring I may even look at buying them a cash ISA to be used towards deposit on future house. You can carry on topping it up over time.
Pens are a good idea, but they can get lost or stolen fairly easily.
If they are both running a half marathon on their 21st it obviously means a lot to them.
Man up, put your feelings towards the ex to one side and be with them on the day.
I would have thought that would mean more to them than any monetary material gift
Could you do the half marathon with them? Starting now, with a coach and enough determination, you still have a bit of time to get ready.
The memory of you putting a big personal effort in to be part of their birthday event could be a very special one for you all. Perhaps you could do it without telling them and make it a surprise on the day (not easy but, again, they'll not forget it).
Something like that could also help to remind your ex that it takes two to create kids and that you have the right to be included in your childrens landmarks in life. Especially if she isn't running...
For a 21st I'd be looking at something 'permanent', so watch/jewellery or maybe the pen. The watch I got for my 21st is one of my most treasured possessions.
I like the running idea. Bonus points if you don't tell them and just show up on the start line with a "fancy seeing you here"* to your ex.
If ones a nurse, maybe a nice stethoscope? Most of the medics I knew got nice ones for their 21st to replace the basic studenty ones, they weren't cheap.
*maybe not, its their day not yours, just run it and disappear after the finishing photos.
Power kite.
How about a portrait of them and you, drawn by pencil. The type were you supply the artist some photos and they do the portrait from them? Get 3 copies made, one for each of you.
Sounds like you all need to do the Megavalanche!
Sadly Funkydunc the man up part doesnt really apply here. She is a violent alcoholic and has a criminal record for GBH on me with a glass, and in a second incident was arrested for my attempted murder. Suspended prison sentences....
I do like the 1/2 marathin idea, and although the event is now closed i may consider just turning up and running. May have to check the logistics and i then run the risk of alienating my partner (their step-mum) who wont go near my ex....
I had also thought a trackday driving someone elses Caterham!
Next vouchers?
Not called Louise by any chance? 😉
Time together is what they will remember. Ok it’s not downhill mtb adrenaline (unless you open the wrong lock paddles and sink) but I seriously commend time on a boat somewhere. Never had a bad time, even with very young kids. Older ones are just great. It’s a great bonding if you’ve not done it before.
Top Gear style race/road trip! 🙂
Buy a banger together and spend a fortnight driving round europe. 😀
Holiday for the 3 of you. A nice city break or one of those river cruise style holidays maybe? Make sure there are some memorable things to do on the trip - eg activities, tours, visits, amazing restaurant etc.
My Wife got me a flight in a Tiger Moth for my 40th. It was great fun & very exhilarating.
Something I won't forget in a hurry!
Some sort ofcooking course followed by a quality tasting menu meal. Plus nice hotel.
Something that they're unlikely to do themselves.
Artistic leanings? Outdoor art class wandering around getting lessons? Screen printing etc.
Swimming with basking sharks?
Whatever you do, do NOT introduce them to the 13th Duke of Wybourne!!!
the event is now closed i may consider just turning up and running.
Contact the organisers and explain its dayghters 21st etc etc. Roughly 1/3 of entries to running races don’t turn up on the day. If your going to do it do it properly.
At it sounds like the ex won’t be running 😳
A tandem bicycle.
Wood burner, coffee machine, axe, beard, some schmancy trews from hebtroco, orange5, audi estate and a couple of pints of real ale.
Boom 🍺🤳
What about a trip to one of the DH races somewhere that you wouldn't normally go? No idea when the season ends, or starts for that matter! Long weekend skiing?
1/2 marathon wise, usually not a problem getting a last minute place if you're willing to run for a charity. It'll have a minimum sponsor values, but wont be megabucks, and you can just pay it.
My other thought is a gold sovereign, or similar. Classy, but not in the difficult territory of jewellery. Will last forever, and can be sold in emergency for funds etc. My parents god all their kids one on their 25th wedding anniversary. I'm quite proud of mine. I guess if you dont do this for 21th, would be ideal as a plan for 25th.
The portrait one suggested above I think. I've got a cartoon style one of my family and I love it. Although the youngest child isn't on it, so we need an update.
well my skydive idea had been hijacked.....the twin who isnt on hols with us is going skydiving with her bf as a 21st present tomorrow.....