[Closed] I think I've hit Peak Middle Class

free-range pancetta

Is that some kind of zombie pig meat?

I joined the National Trust.

I have worn out my wine decanter brush.

I get my pancetta from the butcher. Along with Iberico pork cheeks.

I think my peak middle class moment was buying a yoga mat from John Lewis.

In my defense it was on sale at half price.

I've nearly finished my Roquefort infused salami...

I've just bought a portable pizza oven, and also recently learned to make my own soda bread*

* although that also puts me into a class of my own devising - nouveau poor - since soda bread is traditionally what poor people would make when they went to the larder and it was bare; at least you could make bread from start to eating in under a hour.

(I think I then spoil the image by toasting it in a Dualit and putting smoked salmon and a free range organic poached egg on top)

I've just put some opera on my Michell Engineering Gyrodec

They no longer ask for my ID at the Click & Collect desk.

They no longer ask for my ID at the Click & Collect desk.

... at Argos.

i have bought a projector to watch movies through

I didn't anything last month, apart from food and whatnot.

It's when:

You have a choice of pasta makers in your kitchen.

You're a member of the wine society.

Or you wear red cords.

I was in Tesco last week and heard myself call out to the wife 'darling, I think we are out of walnut oil'. I cringed.

I sent Mrs Kryton back to the shops today to replace the "value" Tonic she bought with some on-offer Bombay Sapphire with something half decent.

First world problems.

I'm quietly thrilled that my bulk organic bread flour order now comes from a miller just outside Edinburgh rather than from one in Gloucestershire, food mile guilt reduction.

[b]I was in Tesco[/b] last week and heard myself call out to the wife 'darling, I think we are out of walnut oil'. I cringed.

Peasant

I booked the train to go to Athens for a conference next week cos it’s better for the environment and that makes me feel good. 1st Class, obvs.

Rachel

Just had my lunch, had a tot up, seven sorts of cheese to choose from (and not from a cheeseboard for people coming round for a country supper). Edit: and mrsmidlife can't help me eat them up as she's slumming it at the Celtic Manor this week.

better for the environment

Do you mean less bad than some alternative other than not going to Athens?

I just can't decide what chocolate to buy.....

Do you mean less bad than some alternative other than not going to Athens?

All the people sat in the room waiting for me to talk are going to be a bit miffed if I’m not there, though!

I will take that as a yes 🙂

[quote=ian martin ]It's when:
You have a choice of pasta makers in your kitchen.

Did have 4 of them at one point, gave myself a shake now I have 0

I buy my pancetta, and suchlike, from Aldi, but then decant it into Waitrose packaging before returning home

You know that class of person

Who drives a shit car. Everything they own is old and tired but they're actually minted.

Thats me i just bypassed the accumulation of wealth.

I'm sitting in my Zafira in Tescos carpark reading this. Just had a creamy chicken slice. Half price because it had been in the heated cabinet too long.

Screw you all.

I was in Tesco last week and heard myself call out to the wife 'darling, I think we are out of walnut oil'. I cringed.

'Oi Slag', would have been more in keeping with the surroundings, no?

Sorry but with the honorable exception of joshvegas, you all sound like you're trying a bit too hard. Which I hate to say comes across as a bit er, [s]lower middle, or upper lower middle which is even worse[/s].

No can't bring myself to say it. Because that might look like status anxiety which I'm far too secure in my (lack of) status to want to project .

I am paid less than I am worth, I don't use my hands in my trade instead I use my intellect and sit on my butt in an office. I don't own the means of production though 🙁

davosaurusrex - Member
I'm sitting in my Zafira in Tescos carpark reading this. Just had a creamy chicken slice. Half price because it had been in the heated cabinet too long.

Screw you all.

😆

Enjoy these last days of middle-classdom guys, give it two years and we'll all be crawling around in the gutter.

Anyway, can't stop, the bloke who delivers my avocados is at the door.

I shop at Aldi and only go to Waitrose to buy their puffed wheat (non sugared Sugar Puffs) and take advantage of the free coffee.
Saving me the cost of the puffed wheat, and making them virtually free.

Scum.

I don't use my hands

I've got an image of you typing with the tip of your nose now.

Or you wear red cords.

I've got an image of you typing with the tip of your nose now.

Thanks, that's an image that i can use to replace the other thing I thought he might be bashing the keys with.

Although.......chewkw....... would explain a lot?

I'm wearing real pearl earrings ( no, not necklace).
Bought some organic coconut oil, t'was £5.00. omg.

My butler goes to Waitrose for my shopping. Allows more time to peruse the Antique fairs and local drinking establishments. I can then get foobarred on gin.

I'm walking home from work trying desperately not to shit myself after consuming a decidedly dodgy egg mayonnaise sandwich for dinner.

Can I be middle class?

It's when:

You have a choice of pasta makers in your kitchen.

Sorry but with the honorable exception of joshvegas,

*Touches forlock*

CaptainFlashheart - Member

I just can't decide what chocolate to buy.....

there is a whole thread about this somewhere - might help you decide 😉

You know that class of person

Who drives a shit car. Everything they own is old and tired but they're actually minted.

That's not Middle Class; that's Proper Posh. There's nothing so pitiful as fallen Gentry.

I can then get foobarred on gin.

Just found a carrier bag in the bushes so I have got a hat for Ascot this year

Brace yourselves.
I took the harp to be serviced last week.
What do I win?
(Before you ask - no, I don't know what a harp service involves, but it took around 3 hours to complete)

I bought some trousers from Rohan this week?

I took the harp to be serviced last week.

I think that puts you in an entirely different class. Seraphim perhaps?

You can only approach peak middle class if you have an Aga, Log burner, and a family estate car over 10 years old (Volvo, Passat or Audi) that you just keep for taking the children to Uni. Otherwise your just f***Ing about. OH and your kids need nick names that are not connected to their real names like jemima puddle duck

My wife wears Boden.

The harp service was good but sparkyspice wins this thread - I accidentally clicked on his username and it took me to a Kent hot air ballooning website!

I bought some trousers from Rohan this week?

I bought some trousers from Rohan this week?

That's not middle class, just old and with no taste!

Bang to rights Guv. Oh today's are red too (well burgundy actually which is more middle class).

My butler goes to Waitrose for my shopping.

Poor you. Can't you afford a housekeeper as well?

I made my own pomegranate molasses as I did not trust the provenance of the items in my local deli
Shoot me now....please

Surely an [url= http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/products/ikea-family-products/bicycle-bicycle-accessories/sladda-bicycle-grey-art-30326733/ ]Ikea bike[/url] is approaching the top of Mount MiddleClass
EDIT no, no I most definitely don't

The Sunday Times has an ad for a £550 Dyson handheld thing. I am genuinely amazed anyone pays that much for a marginally better dust buster!

Some friends of ours admitted tidying up before the cleaner arrived. 😀

I bought some trousers from Rohan this week?

I was in Tesco last week and heard myself call out to the wife 'darling, I think we are out of walnut oil'. I cringed.
'Oi Slag', would have been more in keeping with the surroundings, no?

You've met my wife I see!

Tinners - you get your harp serviced? Ours just sit in the corner of the lounge and the nursery.

BTW - which large estate car for transporting the harp? I suspect the Octavia isn't quite big enough.

I have had someone do my shirt ironing for the last year. And not my wife!

At a gin festival wondering whether the juniper berries are organic.

corner of the [b]lounge[/b]

Akshewally....that's perhaps the most middle class word used on the thread so far. Bravo. 😉

We know aristocracy.
The proper kind, non of yer life Peer nonsense.

16 year old, very scruffy Audi, btw.

I make self-conscious jokes on singletrack.

As a child Jago was dressed exclusively in Boden.

I've just bought a portable pizza oven, and also recently learned to make my own soda bread*

* although that also puts me into a class of my own devising - nouveau poor - since soda bread is traditionally what poor people would make when they went to the larder and it was bare; at least you could make bread from start to eating in under a hour.

(I think I then spoil the image by toasting it in a Dualit and putting smoked salmon and a free range organic poached egg on top)

The salmon and eggs is still well within your 'nouveau poor' ethos. In the middle ages there were riots in Scotland over salmon - The main grievance being the poor wanting there to be just one day a week - just one - where they didn't have to eat salmon. Salmon was so abundant at the time it was cheaper than porridge.

Wining and dining the local Councillors to ensure planning permission for the new buttery in the basement extension.

Interviewed four maids today and researched appropriate health insurance for them.

Yay, first ever glitch double post.

[url= http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2017/03/22/45-things-overheard-in-waitrose-thatll-make-you-laugh/ ]things overheard in waitrose[/url]

Can't see any problem with no 14

7. ‘Ever since they started to offer free coffee in here it has been like a bloody soup kitchen.’

Very close to the bone. One of the reasons I don't shop there anymore. That, and the FT being excluded from their free paper offer...

I only ever go in there for Cavolo Nero.

The Today program keeps dropping out on my Sonos. What do I win?

I took the harp to be serviced last week.

Ah. So that M12 "nut" in the pedestal is actually the sump plug? 😀

Zomfg no tahini in Booths!

I've just been out to buy some food for tea from the local farm shop……

Burger, buns, salad and sweet potato fries for 3

….for £26.75

😯