I Think I Just Went Dogging

It was 5pm on a Wednesday!

Mid week matinée

Mid week matinée

You say this as if you are completely non-plussed by my experience, is this normal 🙂

Toby the dog hates cyclists

Are you not a cyclist then?

It was 5pm on a Wednesday!

Tory leadership contest? Were there biscuits?

Pics or it didn't happen

Jim from Friday Night Dinner

actually, on seconds thoughts, maybe not

Are you not a cyclist then?

This is odd I agree, he hangs around me on bikes all the time without issue but anyone else..............forget it.

actually, on seconds thoughts, maybe not

Before death

Sloppy seconds thoughts?

What3Words location? Since it's not a life or death situation.

Or has BigJohn just given it already?

Is this not a regular occurrence? I'd say I have such an encounter once per year. Maybe not in the middle of the day, but the action sounds familiar.

I usually just give a cheery greeting as I ride past.

Sloppy seconds thoughts?

My only thoughts were how to escape before they all converged on me like in a zombie apocolypse

Is this not a regular occurrence?

Considering myself and an awful lot of other dog.................walkers, yes, walkers, use the area every day I can't say I have come across it before. But now I have recounted my experience to friends who are proper locals they have said "Why are you surprised, it's a local male meet up site" My favorite dog walk is forever sullied

Is the OP setting up a rather elaborate excuse for being where he’s been caught being?

What3Words location?

mid week matinée

Rubber_Buccaneer

Kyuk.

So although not intentional but by the sheer fact I had a dog with me and was surrounded by naked people, have I just been dogging

Dogging doesn't actually in involve or require dogs you know. It also usually done in cars.

OP, had the cyclist not rung their bell, would your dog then not have been "under control"?

I'm sure there are other people on here who'd share my opinion of owners such as you.

APF

That's not dogging, it's cottaging.

OP, had the cyclist not rung their bell, would your dog then not have been “under control”?

I’m sure there are other people on here who’d share my opinion of owners such as you

Jeez there's always one...lighten up 🙄

That’s not dogging, it’s cottaging.

Foraging surely?

@alexpalacefan

OP, had the cyclist not rung their bell, would your dog then not have been “under control”?

I’m sure there are other people on here who’d share my opinion of owners such as you.

APF

He is reactive to cyclists, motorbikes, and intact male dogs so the fact the cyclist let me know he was heading out way rather than appearing very quickly upon us, a bit like the naked man, I was able to prepare for the situation. Not that it is any of your business but he was muzzled, on a lead, and on a footpath, is that OK with you and the other cyclists or would you like me to put him down?

Foraging surely

Yeah you're probably right..deffo not dogging tho

Foraging surely?

Pretty sure there was some of that going on

Foraging surely?

Actually: Foraging, Nigel

It was 5pm on a Wednesday!

Many years ago when I was living in Chorlton, I was working from home on a lovely sunny day, getting a bit of cabin fever so decided to nip out for a spin on the bike. Theres some singletrack that takes you past a well known cottaging/dogging spot (Jacksons Boat). It was a midweek lunchtime though so I wasn't expecting to encounter anything.

As I was weaving through the tress I saw someone walking towards me. I wasn't expecting to see anyone and I doubt he was expecting to see me. We both stopped and stared at each other. I was wearing your standard biking kit. He, however, was dressed to impress. He was clad in a black lace basque, stockings and killer heels. He was 50+ if he was day. We did what you'd do in these situations. A nod.. alright mate... passed each other and both went on our way.

Midweek lunchtime.

I was impressed with his commitment

@alexpalacefan why did you post that? It's really peed on my chips. I was having a bit of a laugh at the end of the work day by explaining a comical situation I found myself in and you just poured a pint of pee all over it. Is the term"I bet your fun at parties" appropriate here?

@Binners, I tip my hat to you, you have out storied me, that is brilliant!

JJ2000, I think it's because cyclists can be entitled d****s, just like a proprtion of the general population.

We did what you’d do in these situations.

It's funny how these things work themselves out, isn't it?

I remember once hurrying along a canal towpath as a shortcut to get to a pub before last orders.

I was striding along when I saw in the gloom a carrier bag or something blowing in the breeze.

After a couple of steps I realised it wasn't windy.

Couple of steps more and I realised it was moving kind of rythmically.

Couple of steps more and I realised it wasn't a plastic bag at all but a young lady's bottom shining out of the darkness as she straddled a fellow on a bench.

At which point I had something of a dilemma. Politeness dictated I should quietly withdraw. But, as I have indicated, I was minutes away from last orders at the boozer, which I would surely miss if I were to retrace my steps.

So I did the next best thing and pressed on past them pretending nothing was happening. And they pretended much the same thing. It was kind of a triumph of British reserve all in all.

It was 5pm on a Wednesday!

Midweek lunchtime.

Pffft.
Cross dresser in just stockings, knickers and bra between Ashfield and Dunblane at 8am on a Sunday morning...

Are you not a cyclist then?

Dog is probably aware that OP pays Road Tax and is hence a Motorist on a Bike rather than a dirty good-for-nothing cyclist.

So I did the next best thing and pressed on past them pretending nothing was happening. And they pretended much the same thing. It was a kind of triumph of British reserve all in all.

Nope. The next best thing is to casually say "nice evening for it" as you stroll by.

is that OK with you and the other cyclists or would you like me to put him down?

blimey, no wonder the dog is a bit skittish if his owner is that quick to anger from a forum comment

When I was much younger I went for a walk in the woods with a young lady and, well, it wasn't premeditated but once deep in the woods and well away from civilisation we ended up with the aforementioned young lady knelt astride me doing as nature intended.

... when on a hitherto unnoticed fire road maybe ten or twenty metres away, a lad on a motocross bike rode past.

... about six times.

I went night riding in Brighton a good few years ago with that Jo Burt chap. We had a great few hours on the South Downs singletrack and then whizzed back into town via, what I now know is called 'Queens Park'.

Our mighty 20W Vistalites (or similar...) cut a mighty beige glow through the night as we took in some of the cheeky paths (it was now probably midnight...) and, rounding the corner, lit up for a split second, were a couple of blokes... and then they, and we, were gone.

We'd gone round the corner on our way though they were still imprinted on our retinas. Perhaps it was the flash of white skin, though I do remember some stripey boxers too... Anyway, we were committed to our descent and it was only at the bottom of the hill on the seafront that we could do the 'Did you just see...?' - all good fun.

There's a big park called Casa de Campo in the centre of Madrid near to where I live. Well-known place for dogging / cruising, but I thought that just went on at night.

A couple of years ago, on a busy Saturday afternoon, thousands of people around, I discovered a trail I'd never done before so decided to check it out.

First thing that told me something was up was two shifty looking men who looked like the Chuckle Brothers, 80s trackies and all, scuttled out of some bushes looking all suspicious as I rode past. Next minute I look up and see a totally butt-naked guy whistling and masturbating behind another tree. Carried on and came across a glade with 10 or so completely naked men going for it Roman orgy style on a huge picnic blanket. The trail went right past where they were (about a meter or so away), got a good look at the action. They were completely unphased.

Funniest / most random encounter I've had while out riding. I wish I had a GoPro to capture the moment. I'm a very open-minded person and the sight of a load of guys going for it doesn't phase me but I did think afterwards how parents would have had to explain it to their kids.

Once I happened to pass a young semi dressed guy being photo'd by an older guy. This was in the local country Park in the early evening on a Wednesday.

🤷‍♂️

Or has BigJohn just given it already?

That made me laugh

I can’t say I have come across it before

Good to see you getting in the spirit of it though

In 30+ years of cycling I've not had a dogging encounter yet. I must not go to the right places.

I've encountered a couple of outdoor enthusiasts over the years though. Most memorable would be an unfortunate gentlemen who I assume was choking by the side of the railway climb on Tunnel Hill near Deepcut. His friend was behind him doing the Heimlich so vigorously that both their trousers had fallen down. But it clearly worked because he recovered quickly enough to run off when they saw me coming. Er, 'saw me approaching' might be better words.

And the other at Afan. We saw them from a long way away on the bridge between the visitor centre and the start of the trails, and there was something not right. As we got closer we could see she had one of those white featureless masks on, plus a long overcoat and high heels. And closer still, her partner was set up to be photographing her for a specialist art pamphlet, presumably.

Good job Toby isn't doing the archetypal dog-sausage thing......

Nope. The next best thing is to casually say “nice evening for it” as you stroll by.

You're not wrong 🤣

Nope. The next best thing is to casually say “nice evening for it” as you stroll by.

Or, as a good riding buddy and GP did one evening, offer medical assistance as they were clearly underdressed to be in a car in Rivelin Valley on December....he made this offer while tapping the window and shining his headlight in..

I've been racing CX since the early 90's, organising and course marking for new courses is fraught with danger, and a very high risk of meeting two partially clad, errrr, individuals in a forest somewhere. I don't even know how many times, a dozen at least.

Then the big weekend ride a group of us did in the Peak district, a near enough 200km off road loop over three days. Second day somewhere near the top of some massive climb we stopped for a leg stretch, a comfort break and some food. Some of us decided to hop over a dry stone wall to get out of the wind (less risk of blowback) to find a couple of teenagers, frozen in terror, half way through the act.

What's more impressive is they were about 5 miles from the nearest inhabited building. True dedication to the cause.

In the first couple of weeks living here in Germany I found these nice nice tight trails in the woods near the center of the city. I found out fairly early why these trails existed. I rode along there one evening to find a young male pair involved in the act of sodomy with an audience of what seemed like hundreds watching on with their tackle out. I was so speechless that all I could muster to say was one of the only phrases I had learned in German at that point… Viel Spaß noch!

OK, I am back on track now, I have let the crystal place fan wash over me..................if you will.

These encounters are excellent, disturbingly British Edit - Or now German

Many years ago, in Freshfield Nature Reserve, I happened across a young couple in a shady glade. I can only assume she must had been stung by a wasp in her groin area because her male companion was bravely attempting to suck out the venom (or so it seemed from a distance of 20m as I sauntered by).
He seemed to be very effective as this as she jumped up quickly and rolled her dress back down...

I'm yet to meet them in real life but there's quite an active dogging club of some kind near me. They take group 'action' pics and then bizarrely print them out on black and white A4 paper and then proceed to distribute the home printed A4 pics in the local hedges for all and sundry to see??!!

It's bizarre, especially being out cycling and at times of their prolific activity there'll be home made dogging po×n placed in the hedges at 200-300m interviews for a mile or two! :-O

whistling and masturbating

So that’s a thing is it?

"What’s more impressive is they were about 5 miles from the nearest inhabited building. True dedication to the cause."

I met a couple on the moors one summer's day. The chap was lying back, watching the summer clouds and she seemed to be, er, bobbing for apples in his pocket... Being on a bike, I was there and gone again before they had a chance to react, but my friend following got all of their visible embarrassment without knowing why...

Did make me think that, on foot, we were MILES/hours from the nearest road or house, but on a bike, it was probably eight minutes into our descent from the main road. Top tip, if you've hiked miles for a blowie, don't camp out on an actual trail junction... maybe go into the heather a little.

Dogging doesn’t actually in involve or require dogs you know. It also usually done in cars.

Give him a break, he's new to it.

I came across a young couple going at it.

I did the correct thing and apologised and moved on.

Give him a break, he’s new to it.

😂😂

maybe go into the heather a little.

But how did you know her name?

There's hundreds of miles of forestry where I live and I often commute through on my MTB. I see all sorts of strange things, including what looked like a dead kangaroo but turned out to be a mutilated "mannequin" once on a little used track around the side of a disused quarry. Weirdly it disappeared within a week of me seeing it. Another time a steamy windowed car and a couple that were laughing their heads off with embarrassment. The preponderance of 'utes' means there's often a bit of tailgate action happening too.

A mate insists that people that reverse park in one of the mtb car parks are signalling intent... I said there's no way people are doing things in this car park, it's so public. Then one day i'm riding home from work, heading through the car park and there's a large white female bottom poking out of an open car window! I'd suggest that car was too small for two people to try and change into their riding gear at the same time.

It's happeneing everywhere FFS! Considering I now know that the location I was in is a local cottaging (see, learnt the correct term) hot spot, I can't believe this is the first time I have caught them at it

I've never seen anything myself, even though i've been riding on the Chase, mecca that it is, for many years. A good friend of mine was employed by the geezer who was embroiled in the Stan Collymore dogging affair.

When it became public, the only thing that really pissed him off was being described as 'portly' in the National press.

There was a video doing the rounds a few years back of a couple getting amorous in some trailside woods, as I recall they never even broke sweat as however many guys hurtled past giving verbal encouragement.

Remember some of the Vibe Racing boys telling the story of being out in Kinnoull Woods (maybe? somewhere near there) and stumbling upon a full blown porn set. The title escapes me at the moment and I'm sure as hell not googling it in work time. A variation of Monarch of the Glen or something similar springs vaguely to mind.

rounding the corner, lit up for a split second, were a couple of blokes… and then they, and we, were gone.

We’d gone round the corner on our way though they were still imprinted on our retinas. Perhaps it was the flash of white skin, though I do remember some stripey boxers too…

Made me think of this...

The preponderance of ‘utes’ means there’s often a bit of tailgate action happening too.

Is that a euphemism? Why does one need a ute? Oh, gotcha, tradesmans...

a local cottaging (see, learnt the correct term) hot spot

I thought that was what happened in public toilets? Cruising is outdoors (which I always found amusing in the Max Power days).

Is that a euphemism? Why does one need a ute? Oh, gotcha, tradesmans…

Not in this case actually… people put the Ute’s tailgate down as a ledge.

As a student union bouncer one of our jobs was to check and clear the basement cubicles at Bloomsbury Theatre. Possibly the most awkward thing I’ve ever been paid to do. Again I literally mean we had to go into the gents, check under the doors and if there were more than two legs visible ask the occupants politely to move on. Amazing how many people get sick and have their friends help them out in a small toilet cubicle.

Right, so my experience today was now cruising not cottaging? I can't keep up

There was a video doing the rounds a few years back of a couple getting amorous in some trailside woods, as I recall they never even broke sweat as however many guys hurtled past giving verbal encouragement.

Was Irish I think

Edit found it https://metro.co.uk/2017/11/03/mountain-bikers-riding-through-woods-catch-couple-having-sex-7052698/

A very long time ago I was night riding on the Mendips with a few riding buddies. We came screaming down a decent into a car park to find a very fat dude, hammering into his equally fat lass on the bonnet of his old Rover. We stopped open mouthed, he looked back and said ‘evening’ and didn’t miss a beat. We rode on…

SD1? P5?

I can’t say I have come across it before

Good to see you getting in the spirit of it though

Brilliant MCTD 🙂

I happened across a young couple

Sensible wording.

whistling and masturbating

So that’s a thing is it?

Popular with naked female skydivers.

turned out to be a mutilated “mannequin” once on a little used track around the side of a disused quarry.

A few years ago we went rock climbing at a local quarry, to discover a couple of several-metre high polystyrene penises. We assumed we'd missed some sort of amateur film set. I have a photo somewhere.

SD1 in gold I think

Hmmmm… as teenagers we used to take the piss out of an older guy with a gold sd1 that used to try and pick up schoolgirls. He’d sprayed the wheels to match the bodywork, you could see gold overspray on the tyres. Pure class. He wasn’t fat though.

Twin Plenum?

whistling and masturbating

So that’s a thing is it?

I asked a mate whose knowledgeable about these sorts of things and he told me that the whistling is a type of code signalling what kind of "action" the person is looking for.

Odd, a lot of people are rubbish at whistling. I’d have to blow really hard and would be incapable of anything too complicated

few years back I encountered a couple on the North Loop of Whinlatter. Mid afternoon, just a few feet away from the trail.
I was quite envious of the lads stamina. I'm usually pooped by the time I reach that bit......

Many many years ago whilst serving in the Military, was on a patrol around some quiet lanes of the RAF base I was stationed at. Saw a parked vehicle a few 100 yards away, front door was open and something was sticking out.
As I got closer I realised it was a pink bottom. A chap was kneeling outside of the car whilst the young lady was still sat in the passenger seat. It was 3pm. As I drove past he just waved "Afternoon!!" and carried on.

whistling and masturbating

So that’s a thing it.

Hope not,I’m crap at whistling 🙂

Anyway what do you whistle?

I asked a mate whose knowledgeable about these sorts of things and he told me that the whistling is a type of code signalling what kind of “action” the person is looking for

Can only assume this is a knock on effect of the demise of the handkerchief.

Anyway what do you whistle?

Dixie?

Just chatting to the dog walker as she picked up Toby and recounted my story. She is pretty young (early 20's) and was amused but not hugely taken aback by it. I finished by saying "Anyway, wanted to let you know as you use that area and I am sure you can avoid the same experience by staying to the outside paths not in the wood" Her answer was, "ahhhhh it will be fine, I know a few people who will have done that in their younger years, just a bit of fun" I took a moment and looked at her, and explained that these were fully grown adults, one was over 40 if not 50. The look on her face, it changed from amusement to looking like she would be sick on her walking shoes 🙂

I think I may have to have a diciplinary hearing based around ageism. Fun in the woods should not just be reserved for the young (actually it should, nobody wants to see naked wrinklys)

If you live in Brighton your "I happened upon two men ..." stories don't really count. It's Brighton.

@johnjn2000
I assume you've tried the 'give your dog a treat every time you see a cyclist' technique? It worked with mine, eventually. He's learned to give his full attention to me as soon as he sees a bike.

I assume you’ve tried the ‘give your dog a treat every time you see a cyclist’ technique? It worked with mine, eventually. He’s learned to give his full attention to me as soon as he sees a bike.

@easily, trust me, we have done all the things. The muzzle makes it difficult to administer treats quickly and efficiently however pre muzzle he was given treats for all the scenarios he reacts to with no significant improvement in reaction. The strangest experience was when the in laws insisted on doing a long dog walk on a route strewn with bikes and people, he reacted to 50% of the bikes others he just ignored. He is the same with people, some he will ignore, about 1% he will actively interact positively with (trait of the breed, are not interested in others outside of family) and others he will yell at, usually men. He is difficult out of the house that is for sure, but an absolute pleasure when at home. Appreciate the suggestion though and always open to anything we may not have tried. I don't have any more money in the pot for the behaviourist to continue but do constantly work on the challenge ourselves

Can only assume this is a knock on effect of the demise of the handkerchief.

Pretty much this.

I’d have to blow really hard and would be incapable of anything too complicated

Ooh err missus!

Right, so my experience today was now cruising not cottaging? I can’t keep up

I always though cottaging was a public toilet affair, involving one of the participants standing in a carrier bag....

I now realise I know far too much about this shit!!

I saw a couple at it in Southport sand dunes.

Walked right past them

I was with my mum

We both never mentioned it

On a related, but much scarier note, a guy i ride with was out on a big long solo night ride a couple of decades ago and came to a gate in the middle of forest. Part of a long fency/hedge thing.
Hops off his bike, opens and swings the (very) creaky gate so he can get through, when half the forest stands up and starts to move past him, one misshapen lump quietly whispers "cheers mate, done us a favour there" in his ear.

The lot of them promptly disappear back into the woods leaving him with an open gate and slightly soiled clothing.

Army night manoeuvers are apparently terrifying.