[Closed] I N L A W S !

Solihull for me ... Being well looked after on the food front.
They are all busy - I'm sat watching top gear with the mutts 🙂
They've got me some Guiness in the garage that will be started on soon.
Can't complain so far 🙂

Mother in law has been here since Saturday. Seems OK so far. Not buried her or banned her to the shed.......

Pie for Xmas dinner?

They are all busy - I'm sat watching top gear with the mutts

While that might seem like a lovely Christmas Eve image, 'Mutts' is what Stox calls his testicles.

Hmm, will it be suspicious if I relay my patio of Christmas day?

I'll have to wait 'till tomorrow for either a uneasy silence or a full on bigoted rant. It's difficult to predict which way it'll go to be honest. Worst of it is that its my family rather than the inlaws.

He likes stroking them whilst looking at stings helmet.

Never mind Inlaws, it's my blimmin parents spreading their misery, anyone want to swap?

That of course was meant to say stig but autocorrect fail made me chuckle

He likes stroking them whilst looking at stings helmet.

I think The Police would take a dim view of that...

He likes stroking them whilst looking at stings helmet.

So that's what tantric sex is all about

Spending the weekend with the in law(luckily she only speaks with one of them) 130 mile drive after work friday 🙁

And I have to pay £6 to get back into wales afterwards... Might sneak the bike in the back with the kids so can get out for a cheeky ride one day.

I would but the wife keeps going out to her mothers. So just me and the dog I have mulled wine, actually it's pretty good.

I would but the wife keeps going out to her mothers. So just me and the dog I have mulled wine, actually it's pretty good.

While that might seem like a lovely Christmas Eve image, 'Dog' is what Drac calls his[b][NOPE!-MODS]

[/b]

On the Wirral with mine but I've brought the bike so hopefully get a blast over in Wales at some point , possibly llandegla as that all hold up better in the wet

FIL seems to be watching top gear repeats for the duration of the break

The wife's out doing things so at the moment it's just me, having a few old Rosie's then going for a ride.

Anyone else 'enjoying' family time

I feel a bit better now.. 😐

I made the decision we weren't seeing the inlaws at theirs this year on Christmas Day , as we wanted my m and d over for dinner. The wife's inheritance took a severe downturn on profitability it would appear.

having a few old Rosie's

All diplomatic relations with the inlaws ended very recently here. Apparently over something that occurred in May!

WTF?

Mine are for lunch tomorrow ,but will bid an early retreat as they want to be home before dark.

Perhaps the pumpkin will reform after dark,or mother in law needs to to locked away after dark.

At mine. They're veggies. I brought a BBQ and a turkey crown.

In laws coming to us too, but they're pretty cool. Plus I have a fridge full of beer that won't drink itself, and I have a Garmin coming for Xmas that will need registering, setting up and a connect profile sorting 😛

This is the last year we will be going to parents, next year we will be doing the dinner... My mum and dad tomorrow and in laws on boxing day, which is alright because FiL is a wine importer 😀

I like mine. They are round here all day tomorrow.

I expect a good time with the kids and when they have gone to bed a quality piss up.

T'in "r" ogate this year having had a year off last Xmas, so far it's bloody cold and I've been cooking all afternoon. Went off to church this morning to watch the Nephews perform nativity and despite 30kids hacking around the alter and knocking over candles it was great fun to see all enjoy themselves, funny how you remember the words to carols not sung for a few years 😀 had to sneak in a few substitute words to enliven things.. 😀
Beans on toast for supper then 😉

Have the delight of being stuck between my mum and my wife tomorrow - the two women who mean the most to me and who bring out the worst in each other

Supposed to be going to the outlaws on Friday for 5 days - weather warnings suggest we may not be going Friday!

My mother in law has been here since Friday, I have 3 more days to endure. Other half and I agreed this morning that a week is too long.

Inlaws are at ours, they're here for a week!

They have obviously learned from last time thoughts they are at least helping around the house this time.

Clearly my little talk worked.

Wigan too by the way, if you need to get out Tomasso, email me. Please, email me, please?

FIL was here from January until October. MIL arrived early November and will probably be here until the summer at least.

Thought the title was a new version of I N R A T S...

Tomaso - I know what you mean, I am at mine tomorrow - a family gathering of 20. I have been "warned" by other half to behave, I'm driving so I don't get bladdered and say anything controversial.

RichPenny - Member
FIL was here from January until October. MIL arrived early November and will probably be here until the summer at least

At least you can use Christmas as an excuse for alcoholism this time of year.

Going to in-laws tomorrow for tea. F-i-L is an old extreme right-winger who has got the early stages of Alzheimer's. He's just been told he needs driving lessons if he wants to keep his license.

Cue rants of "I've been driving over 50 years!".

Tomorrow is going to be a right bag of laughs. 🙁

Mine are with us. Been here 2 days, another 2 to go.

It is...trying

Cue rants of "I've been driving over 50 years!".

At risk of falling asleep at the wheel, shirley?

mine arrive boxing day, I have new slippers to show them monogrammed with

"Bring me a beer the inlaws are here"

Stepson, wife and 2 boys arriving this afternoon through the weekend. Daughter-in-law expects to be waited on and never raises a hand to help, leaving an endless trail of glasses, dishes, etc wherever they go. Will have the TV universal remote so screwed up, will take a day to sort out. House will be a disaster by end of Christmas day.

Trails are either snow/ice covered or a mud-pit (this being in the desert, mind you) so no escape on the bike to be had---oh the humanity!!!

Copious amounts of good food.
Enough booze.
And the repetition of the mantra that 'it's all about the kids'

It's still not quite bearable!

There are going to be some upsets at this rate..........

I have just built a wooden train set for the kids in the morning. MIL and FIL are fighting over it as I write this. OP post needs a like button.

[url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/xmas-eve-dumped-by-the-missus-via-text ]Can't ******* wait to see mine over Christmas, starting tomorrow.[/url]

I'm visiting my son and his partner tomorrow. I hope I'll be better behaved than some mentioned here. Sadly getting bladdered isn't an option.

I have the mother in law, currently too pissed to go to midnight mass, mrs anagallis pleased. Sister in law currently eating everything, I just hope she doesnt mistake the dog for food, my mum who is deaf and drunk and the step dad who is just grumpy. I mumbled something about being worried santa wouldnt come and have left the to.whatever shit is on the telly. Must not kill anyone.

Just back from mine - we do dinner here in Denmark on the 24th. Even managed it sober as was my turn to drive. No problems, actually enjoy their company. Even the wife's spoilt nieces were not too bad. Loads of kids the so my daughter loved it. Bit calmer this year on presents so that helped make the day a bit more bearable. Get to do English Christmas tomorrow, then my parents are out for New Years Eve. All good.

Just the two of us and the two cats on Christmas Day. Presents, a walk, fizz, port, dinner with chardonnay and dessert with sauternes. Maybe some more port after that. Bliss.

😆
Ahhh! The upside of divorce... quiet evening drinking wine eating chocolate, no racism, bigotry or passive aggressive behaviour.

Merry Christmas STW! 😀

Mine will be arriving just after midday.

Maybe I am lucky but I really enjoy seeing them, particularly at this time of year.

No in'laws til boxing day. Tomorrow is presents, smoked salmon blinis and bucks fizz before going for a posh curry with friends.
MsD's parents are rather old fashioned and right wing so i'm expected to keep my red banner to myself 😉

been with my other half for 6 years, met her mother twice (who she she's probably 3/4 times a week) never met her dad

dirtyrider - Member
been with my other half for 6 years, met her mother twice (who she she's probably 3/4 times a week) never met her dad

When you met her mum did she make you wear a bag on your head? or say you were her gay friend?

My missus hasn't seen her mum since she was kicked out when she was 15 so I don't have to see her, just her dad that is ok apart from the usual daily mail-esque viewpoints every now and again....

MIL v 1.0 has been downloaded and installed here. Not quite as entertaining as last year so far, as she's been weaned off the Tramadol. That stuff led to some bizarre conversations about the film Ted (she woke up during the Thunder Song) last year. 😀

Mrs Scape and I have had a little jape this evening. I've been straining all my hedgerow liqueurs, and managed, by stealth, to get her to try Damson Gin, Sloe Gin, Apple and Blackberry Gin, Bramble Whisky and Damson Vodka. She isn't used to drinking, and so we've watched her slowly getting to the stage where I had to position my lad on the stairs to see her safely down to bed. Bless.

Mrs Scape started to offer "advice" on my conduct, until I reminded her of the time she gave my octogenarian mother a Gin and Tonic that would have anaesthetised a carthorse, and we had to prop her up for Sunday lunch.

Happy Christmas all!

oldboy - Member
All diplomatic relations with the inlaws ended very recently here. Apparently over something that occurred in May!
WTF?

My father-in-law did that to me one year... Shame because it upset his wife - who was the nicest of people and I had not actually done anything. All in his mind...

Good news is even cheap Black Pudding is great in Wigan! Although it was difficult to tell the difference between the sausage and bread

The orgy of present unwrapping has subsided and its just the stupid dog that is still going potty!

I normally escape to the kitchen to cook for most of the day getting quietly ratted, but I might actually have to be civil this year 😯

Merry Christmas!

Many things annoy me about the Mil, these are the things that are really testing me so far this year.

1. Carrier bags, full of stuff, left all over the house
2. Constant irrational panic about losing things like mobile, usually found in one of the aforementioned carrier bags.
3. Constant commentary on weather. They have a camper van parked on the drive, each outing to the van is concluded with detailed description of the weather. So far today the mediocre wind has been described as perishing and torturous.
4. Complete inability to put anything in the bin or dishwasher, ever.
5. The fact that even after knowing me for 15 years, she still acts so surprised when I say that I do not want to drink alcohol with breakfast.

My MIL bust her ligaments yesterday, which is amusing me no end.

She's stuck in the front room watching xmas tat, occasionally hopping very badly (no physical exercise in 30 years) on crutches to the side door for a cig.

It's the least interfering she's been in years 😉

Goose is on, Ham is on and it's just gone 12 so I've opened the homebrew winter lager.

Life is good.

Ha amateur the lot of you. We pulled up at the outlaws, got the dog out who had a pee (only a pee and still outside). MIL not happy flailing arms, shaking if the head at the window. Back in the car and home, not even 1 word spoken and we've fallen out.
The Boxing Day fillet steak for tea I think.

Just been for traditional Xmas day lunchtime beer with mates and got home to discover OH has invited alcoholic sister to dinner . Now had to hide beer as she would not leave until it is all gone.

I will now have to endure endless inane conversations and my fantastic GF trying to keep me from relaying the patio until she is gone.

At inlaws in London. I am lucky as they're a good lot. Off home to Wales tomorrow to see what the damage is after the storms.

Oldschool - legend.

Franksinatra - if I was making a list of things driving me up the wall for the last 48 hours those would be in my top 10.

I'll add one - my usual 45 minute walk with the hounds, probably my favourite time of the day, taking 45 minutes to get out of he house then an hour and 30 of plodding with inane commentary and random panicking about the dogs getting lost, hurt etc

I've had a reprieve - Mrs W full of cold, didn't want to pass it on so had to go to in-laws to collect Xmas meal and return to Mrs W. It was looking tense when I left in-laws so probably for the best

4 of us sat on a three seater couch as selfish FiL is laying on the two seated.

Despite my hints if he wants to lie down there's a bed upstairs, the FiL won't move.

Think four letter word starting with a "c"

Just had to go through the whole "family picture" fandango - luckily we have the dog with us to use as a get out clause

I swear it's 30+? in the outlaws house.. I could be sat in a pair of shorts.
Strange burnt roast dinner and dry as a bone turkey as per usual, even the dog kept getting it stuck in his throat as I passed most of it to him. I've been a bit more tolerant due to the 80mg of codeine I just found on the bathroom shelf.

At mine along with brother & sister in law and their son. Poor dog is exhausted we've been out for so many walks.

I want to add to my earlier list:

Gluttony
Emmerdale
Fear of fresh air

I keep getting up and saying I'm taking to dog for a walk you coming to mrs and some other keeps saying "I'll come" excuse me I dont remember inviting you! ****ing leave me alone for a moment please! Step dad has now found tv remote so I'm about to be deafened!

I did field archery all day at my local club.

No hassle and semi descent score but broke 3 arrows 🙁

Have the delight of being stuck between my mum and my wife tomorrow - the two women who mean the most to me and who bring out the worst in each other

You need to tell your mum where the boundaries are! It will help.

Update. Brother in law has now had bust up with his wife, all gone bad and police involved. Happening 300 miles away but MIL is in her element with a mixture of ott emotional instability and excitement. Real life eastenders, I really need to get a dog as this thread makes me realise how important they are to get out of the house.

Oh you get 100 points in the Xmas Family Eye Spy book for "Police called to Xmas day family bust up"
Top work - next year they could come to yours!

I am suffering from the less dramatic slow torture of soaps and Downtown Abbey and banal conversation.

More Leffe Blonde doctor...

I may go and see if they've got any opiates in the bathroom 😉

tomaso - Member
Oh you get 100 points in the Xmas Family Eye Spy book for "Police called to Xmas day family bust up"
Top work - next year they could come to yours!
I am suffering from the less dramatic [b]slow[/b] torture of soaps and Downtown Abbey and b[b]anal[/b] conversation.
More Leffe [b]Blonde doctor[/b]...
I may go and see if they've got any opiates[b] in the bathroom [/b]

Ingredients for a good night are all there if you look close enough

Oh you get 100 points in the Xmas Family Eye Spy book for "Police called to Xmas day family bust up"
Top work - next year they could come to yours!

Generous but the police stuff is not at my house so 100 points may be too generous......

But then I should also get extra points given the fact that the MIL is staying in her camper van on our drive in a Meet the Fockers style!

We managed dinner with only two mildly racist and one "He's a gay" comment which by the standards of previous years is pretty good going.

How many times can you use "the baby's tired" or "hungry" or "getting agitated with all the noise" as excuses to evade conversation?

How many times can you use "the baby's tired" or "hungry" or "getting agitated with all the noise" as excuses to evade conversation?

Mrs mw had a partial seizure after dinner. It's a mixed blessing, she didn't really want to have any kind of seizure in front of my family (or anywhere else for that matter) but it was pretty mild, she's fine now and we managed to leave with everyones blessing without having to watch Downtown Abbey.

On balance she took one for the team.

I get on well with my MIL.

But.

She insists that beef should be cooked for about 3 weeks my wife insists we cook it to her mother's liking, it's battle every year to get it cooked and out before either interferes. I lost last year but triumphed this year.

I bought beef dripping for the the yorkshire puds and the roasties. I got lectured for about 20 minutes on how to cook the roasties, in the end I told her I'm cooking them how I like them done. When it came around to heating the fat up the Mrs asked if were were using the beef dripping, I was at the sink cleaning stuff but the silence between her and mother meant her mother had turned her nose up. So olive all it was, my blood boiled here but I kept my cool as the rest of the year she's great.

Then the TV, I dodged the Ice dancers as we had the Xmas Dinner then, managed to skirt a few other shows but on came Corrie. Then proceeded the MIL's narration of what was happening and who was doing what with who and future plots, a painful hour. When that was over I reclaimed it with Indiana Jones, the wife asked what it was (look it's her mother so she's never seen many films) her mother declared I don't know but it's load of rubbish. That was it, you can knock anything but my childhood heroes from the 80s. So they were told "It's Indiana Jones and it's a far more believable story plot than that Corrie shite." She did see the funny side and the Sisters in Law said she agreed with me, hmmmm!

You need to watch this episode of The Big Bang Theory

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/ustv/s217/the-big-bang-theory/recaps/a522878/the-big-bang-theory-recap-is-indiana-jones-irrelevant.html