I feel I’ve been li...
 

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[Closed] I feel I’ve been lied to for years....

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BBC R2 has just reported that a study has shown the phrase ‘beer before wine and you’ll be fine’ to be a myth. Totally deadpan, not tongue in cheek at all.

I await the results of the study on the toilet habits of bears in woods with baited breath...


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:12 am
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Get to ****, what about a stitch in time ?


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:17 am
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Pfft - next they'll be telling us that shepherd's aren't pleased to see a rosy glow in the sky of an evening.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:18 am
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Wait until the study of the religious persuasion of the Pope is released.

You might lose your shit.

Arboreal ursine style


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:18 am
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I always thought it was 'beer after wine, makes you feel fine' and wine after beer, makes you feel q*eer' (assume in the strange sense, rather than the non PC term to describe someones sexual preferences).


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:21 am
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In other, equally crushing, news... despite regular and frequent consumption of apples, I seem to be seeing more and more doctors. I demand to know why.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:23 am
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beer after wine, makes you feel fine

Oh it was a thorough study, they tried both options. Neither worked. Sorry to break it to you.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:25 am
 scud
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And Robert isn't my mothers brother.. lying barstewards...


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:27 am
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I seem to be seeing more and more doctors. I demand to know why.

It’s probably because you keep going into hospitals.

There are loads of them there.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:27 am
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but what about "never mix grain and grape" or something like that


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:29 am
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Just made a cuppa, and the kettle boiled right before my eyes. Very disappointed in my mother lying to me all these years 🙁


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:29 am
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I have to say my takeaway from that piece was slightly different. They gave 91 volunteers 2.5 pints of lager and 4 large glasses of wine. Some were sick. Where the hell did they find these lightweights? That's just a warm up!


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:31 am
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For balance. I went to a chefs' convention the other day where everyone chipped in with their favourite ingredient to make a huge pot of stew for the evening meal. It was rank!


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:32 am
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“a stitch in time, saves nine”

Thats fairly reliable ..


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:35 am
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Oh it was a thorough study, they tried both options. Neither worked. Sorry to break it to you.

FFS!


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:43 am
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It’s probably because you keep going into hospitals.

There are loads of them there.

*posts from hospital waiting room*

You may be onto something there...


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:46 am
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I've not gone blind yet... 😉


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:46 am
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Pfft – next they’ll be telling us that shepherd’s aren’t pleased to see a rosy glow in the sky of an evening.

Ah, but... The saying is most reliable when weather systems predominantly come from the west as they do in the UK. "Red sky at night, shepherds delight" can often be proven true, since red sky at night means fair weather is generally headed towards you.

A red sky appears when dust and small particles are trapped in the atmosphere by high pressure. This scatters blue light leaving only red light to give the sky its notable appearance.

A red sky at sunset means high pressure is moving in from the west so therefore the next day will usually be dry and pleasant. "Red sky in the morning, shepherds warning" means a red sky appears due to the high-pressure weather system having already moved east meaning the good weather has passed, most likely making way for a wet and windy low-pressure system.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:48 am
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So the weather prediction system I have been using for years is a lie ?


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:49 am
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Imagine my disappointment when I fancied a bit of a holiday so turned into a random road on the way home and it didn’t lead me to Rome.

Cumbernauld is a poor substitute.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:49 am
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For balance. I went to a chefs’ convention the other day where everyone chipped in with their favourite ingredient to make a huge pot of stew for the evening meal. It was rank!

Bet the work involved wasn’t too heavy though?

Imagine my disappointment when I fancied a bit of a holiday so turned into a random road on the way home and it didn’t lead me to Rome.

WHAT!? I beg to differ!

https://flic.kr/p/2dxrMhG

Sign was in Majorca too, so doubly impressive.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:51 am
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stevied

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I’ve not gone blind yet… 😉

Looks like it may be happening one eye at a time!


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 8:52 am
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Arboreal ursine style

Lovely bit of Greek there Mr Beer

(Sort of)


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:05 am
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Hmmm - now I think about it I was out in Swinley this week and saw the army marching... but they were on their feet, not flat on their bellies.  What's all that about?


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:06 am
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Isnt it Gear before Wine?


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:07 am
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And Robert isn’t my mothers brother..

But my dad's sister is called Fanny.........


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:08 am
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I before E, except after C is just good science you can rely on, though. Works every time.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:10 am
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I hurt my back the other day, tried laughing but it didn't help. Then I tried some opiates. Medicine is definitely the best medicine.

I've also tried leaving all sorts of dirty shit out in the sun, but it turns out that disinfectant is a much better disinfectant than sunlight.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:17 am
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I'm still waiting for the trails to come alive.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:17 am
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I before E, except after C is just good science you can rely on, though.

Seems weird to me.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:18 am
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Looks like it may be happening one eye at a time!

Who said that? 😵


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:18 am
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I before E, except after C is just good science you can rely on, though. Works every time.

The rule only applies when the sound represented is ‘ee’, though. It doesn’t apply to words like science or efficient, in which the –ie- combination does follow the letter c but isn’t pronounced ‘ee’.

Neither does the rule apply to any word without the ee sound, even when there is no c involved.
There are a few exceptions to the general i before e rule, even when the sound is ‘ee’. Examples include seize, weird, and caffeine.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:21 am
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shit rule then really...

Bit like the rhyme about days of the month.

30 days have september, april, june and november all the rest have 31. Well, except February which has 28 but theres really good explantion for that, that doesnt really fit i this song....


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:30 am
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It really does seem like a shit rule doesn't it..


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:32 am
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What's your name? Keith?


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:34 am
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Pish.
I can guarantee that if I drink some wine before beer the chances of me vomiting in the next 8 hours will be high.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:36 am
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Maybe not a shit rule, but one takes far to much explantion to be worth it...

#myenglishisnothebestest


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:37 am
 jca
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re: red skies, I though the modern interpretation was 'red sky at night, the neds have set fire to the barn'...


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:40 am
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Brandy still makes you randy though - right ?

(email in profile)


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:41 am
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Pish.

Don’t drink that, either before or after wine.

Unless you’re Bear Grylls. He seems to enjoy that sort of thing.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:41 am
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Brandy still makes you randy though – right ?

You should try Buckfast.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:42 am
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You should try Buckfast.

1st meal of the day?


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:45 am
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When recent bonfire got out of hand I reached for my blowlamp.
I now need a new shed and have painted on eyebrows.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:47 am
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You should try Buckfast

hmmm, maybe. Tried rum - couldn't sit down for a week


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:49 am
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The brandy / buckfast / rum cocktail.

It’s not for everyone.

It’s called a “Centre Parcs”


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:51 am
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Posted : 08/02/2019 9:58 am
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30 days have september, april, june and november all the rest have 31. Well, except February which has 28 but theres really good explantion for that, that doesnt really fit i this song….

That's a lie too. Here's a better rhyme.

"All the months have got 28 days, and 11 have got 30.

Some have got an extra too. Louise is really dirty"

Does that clarify?

On other matters and bringing phrases up to date.... does Bear Grylls shit in a 5 star hotel a short helicopter ride from the woods he wants you to think he shits in?


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 10:07 am
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In other, equally crushing, news… despite regular and frequent consumption of apples, I seem to be seeing more and more doctors. I demand to know why.

Are you eating the pips? They've got arsneic in them.

4 large glasses of wine = 4*250ml which is a bottle and a third! plus larger. Even if you consumed a bottle of aspirin with that lot, you're getting a shit hang over, unless they got a room full of Shane McGowans as subjects.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 1:34 pm
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In other news, bishop of Rome has large balcony.

They’ve got arsneic in them.

Cyanide chap, cyanide.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 9:44 pm
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Given that living on a planet with a breathable atmosphere doesn't exclude us from being in space, it turns out that in space people can sometimes hear you scream.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 10:00 pm
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It turned out that Bob was not in fact my uncle. He was my great-uncle. **** YOU MUM AND DAD!


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 10:04 pm
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I'm checking it out tonight. I'll report back tomorrow.


 
Posted : 08/02/2019 10:54 pm

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