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Surely someone out there can make and market a pair of cycling shorts with a bum pad and a willy warmer. It's always alarming to come in after 2 hours of icy shredding and not be able to find wee Rob when I need a pee.
Assos make one, I believe - if your veg are worth it
The T.tiburuShorts_s7 are the latest result of the challenge posed by the great Freddy Maertens back in the early days of ASSOS. When it is neither cold enough to warrant full tights nor warm enough for regular cycling shorts, what is the answer? A sport as demanding as ours needs a solution for every season, and so we provided it. The properties of our advanced RX Medium fabric fit the bill perfectly with both the necessary thermal protection and the high breathability, low weight, low volume side that we believe cannot be compromised. Added crotch and abdomen protection from our windproof blasenSchutz feature and DWR treatment to deal with the scourge of rain start to explain why the T.tiburuShorts_s7 are a must for your year-round cycling wardrobe. They come in our dynamic and slimline racingFit - these are bibs for thriving not surviving.
Outstanding. The veg are still useful so I must protect them. Lol 😎
Time to bring back the insulated sports-cod piece I reckon.

I'm reaching for thermal tights well before willy freezing temps on the road bike and wear baggies over bibs on the MTB.
Put it in a sock?
Endura FS260 shorts have a wind proof knob insert in the front of the pad. Might not be warm enough for winter though.
Time to bring back the insulated sports-cod piece I reckon.
Black Adder I presume? That might work, but you'd have to be **really** err stimulated by MTBing to feel the benefits 😆