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So, a member of my team has this weekend had to have a foot amputated (diabetic, circulation problems, recently diagnosed with Charcot foot, abscess, sepsis ... and on Saturday amputation was the only option left).
Grim news for him.
There'll be a lot of support for him personally from us as colleagues, and our employer will, I imagine, be pretty good about flexibility and adjustments when he's ready to face coming back to work.
So, I've come here to ask for inspiration. He's got a good sense of 'gallows' humour, so foot-jokes please. And examples of people, articles, books, biographies, anecdotes etc of other people who have faced similar life-changing events.
Ta
A card congratulating him on his weight loss?
Bag of Haribo?
What harm can a little bit more sugar do.....?
Guess he's got less to lose from now on.
Wishing your colleague all the best in his recovery, its best to take things one step at a time.
You properly sh*t me up there ... I asked my wife to get a card when she was out shopping today, and had a momentary panic that was the message on the get well card!
Well.itll make shoplifting for shoes easier.
Good time for him to take up the opportunity to have half priced pedicures...
Did we ever get a firm answer on which on is the 'flip and which is the 'flop'? Because he'll only need one going forward...
On the plus side, future dress like a pirate champion...
Today's Cafe Hope, radio 4, likely useful. Conversation with Corine Hutton who founded 'Find your feet', charity for amputees.
He’ll be able to get very angry whilst still moving on his foot?
Best foot forward and all that.
In all seriousness Hope he recovers well
In all seriousness Hop he recovers well
Just bookmarking this in case the do decide to take mine off
Just bookmarking this in case the do decide to take mine off
that will make life easier for all of us. You could post up a new thread and we could just copy and paste the replies.
In a superb moment of irony a mate of mine's dad got home from having his foot amputated and found a letter on his mat offering half-price chiropody.
My mum lost her leg to cancer. We bought her Lego.
Can you find him a penpal with the other foot missing, could be the start of a lovely friendship and they can go halves on socks and shoes 😉
Maybe point out that having too many legs can result in time in the clinker ?
Bit off topic but visited a mate recently and he has two of Rolf's original paintings on the wall. Either they're now worthless or there's a particular market where they're worth loads.
As the surgeon made your friend sign a document attesting to...
...Sometimes you have to cut loose.
I'm horrified by the sentiment expressed by so many forum members in this thread. The OP came here looking for some suitable gentle humour for someone that's about to undergo a fairly significant life-changing surgery and will be wracked with worry and stress. You should have a good look at yourself and ask if it was you in that position would you appreciate the contents of this thread.
...I mean, it seems like you're just putting the boot in.
Buy him a foot stool as a get well present?
Good news, a pair of socks will last twice as long. You can confuse people by going out in the snow, using a thin stick for balance, hence leaving a single footprint in the fresh snow. Very easy to dress as/look like a pirate. You always start on the right foot. You cant be wrong footed by anyone. Oh, its an instant weight loss, so easily 2 kg off the scales.
I had an army mate, who went on to work for Halo the mine charity and lost both legs and an arm clearing mines in Africa (went on to write a good book, as he went on to run London Marathon and the Marathon De Sables (Sp?) and used to take great delight in sending me pics of the state of his stumps running in the sand!)
His first words when he woke up and saw his legs gone were "F*ck it, i'm never going to win an ar*e kicking competition now"!!
Send him this website - https://oddshoefinder.com/oddshoesblog/#:~:text=If%20you%20currently%20buy%20two,is%20the%20website%20for%20you.
I shouldn't joke really as a Type 2 diabetic, who is the father of a Type 1 diabetic daughter......
I know diabetics are supposed to keep their weight under control, but that is a properly extreme way to lose a couple of kilos.
Buy him a bike. Specialized have a suitable model.
Take him to the pub;
https://www.thedouglasbader.co.uk/
Either for a pint or to... get legless...
Edit: Just in case...
Or start calling him "Metric" as he can no longer work in Feet.
Most appropriate humour depends on his politics. Is he currently left leaning or right leaning?
Well, I'm stumped. I suppose he thinks an artificial replacement is a bad idea but I expect he'll soon stand corrected.
There is a film on either Amazon or Netflix - Finders Keepers may be worth a look (it’s actually quite good !)
Just bookmarking this in case the do decide to take mine off
I assumed most of your limbs would just be lost over time through your own actions...
I know it's not always easy for men to face things without the cover of irony, but your friend will appreciate sincere, heartfelt sympathy and support.
The thing about making a joke is that it will put the emphasis on him to laugh along, and he just might not feel like that after a life-changing operation.
Indeed, well said. All that heartfelt stuff, then invite him to join you in doing the Hokey Cokey.
The thing about making a joke is that it will put the emphasis on him to laugh along, and he just might not feel like that after a life-changing operation.
Have to agree with this. And if your well intentioned humour did go down badly, you really wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
Just try not to put your foot in your mouth
Tell him you can't be his friend anymore. Because you're lack toes intolerant.
Remind him to stay positive, thats always a step in the right direction.
I'm sure he'll be back on his feet in no time.
Buy him a shoe.
Buy him a shoe.
That would make an excellent stocking filler at Christmas 🙂
reeksy
I’m horrified by the sentiment expressed by so many forum members in this thread. The OP came here looking for some suitable gentle humour for someone that’s about to undergo a fairly significant life-changing surgery and will be wracked with worry and stress. You should have a good look at yourself and ask if it was you in that position would you appreciate the contents of this thread
Reeksy has a valid point. How would you feel i you were in their shoe?
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How would you feel i you were in their shoe?
Wobbly?
I am not a very funny guy, but you can tell your friend this true story:
I was 13 and, together with my family, was visiting friends of my parents in Fairford one year. The man had lost an arm and a leg in WWII. Of course, I decided I wanted to entertain everyone at the table and started telling the following jokes:
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt
What do call a man with no arms and no legs in your swimming pool? Bob
Etc., etc.
Not once did it dawn on me who my audience was. Then my brother kicked me under the table.
I wanted to die on the spot.
Nothing to add to these awful puns, but picking up on
I had an army mate, who went on to work for Halo the mine charity and lost both legs and an arm clearing mines in Africa
Military humour is brutal. I read a book on the Falkland war where a guy was blown up by a landmine, was lying on the ground screaming 'My leg! I've lost my leg!' only for someone to shout back 'No you haven't, it's over here'
And another NCO who'd asked his men to find a souvenir for him, opening his rucksack to find an argentinian boot in it. He could tell it was argentinian because it had an argentinian foot in it.
FootlessJo on YouTube is pretty funny. Is he looking at getting a prosthetic?
reeksy
Full Member
I’m horrified by the sentiment expressed by so many forum members in this thread. The OP came here looking for some suitable gentle humour for someone that’s about to undergo a fairly significant life-changing surgery and will be wracked with worry and stress. You should have a good look at yourself and ask if it was you in that position would you appreciate the contents of this thread.
…I mean, it seems like you’re just putting the boot in.
Ah, you were just pulling our leg 😉
You've got to watch out for some surgeons though. Give them an inch and they'll take a foot.
He should come over here. We have a surplus:
A get well soon card with a message saying you were trying to find the right words but you're stumped
...and sock washing just got a lot easier.
He’s a lucky guy, 50% less chance of putting his foot in it that the rest of us.
The end of every work meeting has to finish with "right then, we better hop to it then"
Offer condolences that at least they'll have some extra time / dispensation added to make it easier to qualify for the Boston Marathon
Tell your colleague you can’t be friends anymore because you’re lack toes intolerant
edit. .. Never mind. Cougar beat me by days.
Is he looking at getting a prosthetic?
I could recommend him a surgeon
I'd also ask for it to be a foot
I was reading this, then realised I wasn't logged in - because the advert was for the Nike Factory Store !!! even the ad algo is taking the piss !
I used to work with a guy with one arm (car accident) and he was a mickey taker, one day he had an office chair delivered so before he got to the office we built it and only screwed one arm on
Better warn him to be careful at work when he returns, it will be a lot easy for him to put his foot in his mouth!
If I'd lost a foot and my supposed friends came up with so much dark humour, I'd be hopping mad.
So, as this thread got TOTW, thought I'd give a quick update.
Colleague has appreciated the humour, I think it has been a useful crutch for him at times. He's had a further operation to prepare for a prosthetic; I think he's peg(leg) ing his hopes on this.
He's positive about the future, hoping to be discharged home early next week, and then a prosthetic within a few weeks. He's told the medical staff to hop to it.
Make sure you change his ring tone to careless whisper
"He’s positive about the future, hoping to be discharged home early next week, and then a prosthetic within a few weeks. He’s told the medical staff to hop to it."
I expect they are concerned that if they give him a foot he will take a mile.
You can basically go wild as he's stuck with you guys now:
to late for him now to
Make a run for it
To get a foot in the door with the competition
to stamp down his authority
.....
He'll have to hop to it on the physio.
At least a pair of socks will last longer
At least a pair of socks will last longer
Somewhere to donate all the odd socks the washing machine fairy has left you with
A friend has been on quite a journey since her pretty horrific accident. Little bit of back story:
https://www.conservation-without-borders.org/new-legs-for-the-human-swan
She has now had the surgery and prosthetics and is currently cycling to Spain! She can be followed here
https://www.polarsteps.com/sachadench/11115521-dartmoor-to-oviedo
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/qL8q9EbCH5xFsKht/
Pretty inspiring stuff
You should buy him a gift. Maybe a box of Lego.