How to switch off a...
 

  You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more

[Closed] How to switch off an icelandic volcano.

50 Posts
42 Users
0 Reactions
106 Views
Posts: 341
Free Member
Topic starter
 

Seems as if all the clever people, and the politicians are stuck on how to switch it off or just kill the smoke.

So because Singletrackie forumities are clever and always have an answer,what ideas that are feasable to put it out,switch it off.

At the moment its competing for hot air with the politicians.

Discuss.


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:07 pm
Posts: 50252
Free Member
 

Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:09 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

😯


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:11 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

It wants a large human sacrifice.


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:12 pm
 rs
Posts: 28
Free Member
 

we need Team America... F... yeah!


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:13 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

I think I saw Superman do it once.

But I can't remember how he did it.


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:13 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

then chuck in Simons fat women from the other thread she should block the hole


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:14 pm
Posts: 341
Free Member
Topic starter
 

Brains and Thunderbird 2, would sort it.


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:14 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

I've got a spare can of expanding foam here, worth a go innit


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:16 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Hugh! Pugh! Barney McGrew! Cuthbert! Dibble! Grubb!


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:16 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Guybrush Threepwood made the volcano god angry by sacrificing a block of nacho cheese to it.


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:17 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

A damp tea towel

or is that chip pans. I forget


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:21 pm
Posts: 17366
Full Member
 

Fill the hole with environmentalists who think human output is more significant than what nature can produce?


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:22 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Send in Red Adair


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:28 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

A bigger glacier?


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 13601
Free Member
 

A whole bunch of Stan's sticky white stuff....


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:35 pm
Posts: 50252
Free Member
 

A whole bunch of Stan's sticky white stuff....

[img] [/img]

That should sort it.


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:38 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Turns out it was all a mistake anyway. The Met Office just had a theory about how the ash might spread. Which just wasn't as accurate as one might have hoped for.

So we can all go back to buzzing around in jet aircraft again now.


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:47 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Get Bjork to sing to it.... won't be able to stand that for long!


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:49 pm
Posts: 33325
Full Member
 

A very large Alka-Seltzer?


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:53 pm
Posts: 150
Free Member
 

CFH, I'm going to see my lawyer about that, & I think Stan's hold the copyright...


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 9:55 pm
Posts: 12072
Full Member
 

Virgins, tie 'em up and chuck 'em in.


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 10:00 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Fill the hole with environmentalists who think human output is more significant than what nature can produce?

What like volcanologists?
http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/2010/planes-or-volcano/

Perhaps fill it with anti-environmentalist nutters who think that nothing we do has any impact on the world. Probably the same blindly short termist pro-business types who were fighting the good fight on behalf of the tobacco companies before they lost that one, or fighting against pollution controls on factories, before we found all the dead / mutated fish etc.

Joe


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 10:22 pm
Posts: 2
Free Member
 

[i]What like volcanologists?[/i]

There was a brilliant chap on the radio the other day talking about this.
He was introduced as a Volcanologist but he corrected the interviewer and pointed out he was a geologist who knew about volcanoes. The interview continued and the chap was asked just how long he thought the volcano would continue erupting for.

He had a bit of a think and said
"Probably only for a short while...........bearing in mind, I'm a geologist"

Which I thought was a great joke (i.e. geologists talk in thousands of years rather than days) but I think the interviewer missed it. Perhaps it wasn't that funny.


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 10:28 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

The problem isn't the volcano as such, it's the ash cloud. So all we need is a whole bunch of fans to blow it off course.
And, given that the jet engine is in basic fact a fan, surely all we need to do is fly lots of aircraft through it in the same direction and all's sorted - say an approach flight path.
Sure a few aircraft may peg out, but the greater good will be served and what's more there'll be interesting news for weeks, big aircraft crashes are always interesting...


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 11:09 pm
Posts: 2
Free Member
 

[i]it's the ash cloud[/i]

The problem is the ice in the ash.


 
Posted : 19/04/2010 11:10 pm
Posts: 31206
Full Member
 

Fill the hole with environmentalists who think
human output is more significant than what
nature can produce

[i]"Our studies show that globally, volcanoes on land and under the sea release a total of about 200 million tonnes of CO2.

... while 200 million tonnes of CO2 is large, the global fossil fuel CO2 emissions for 2003 tipped the scales at 26.8 billion tonnes. Thus, not only does volcanic CO2 [u]not[/u] dwarf that of human activity, it actually comprises less than 1 percent of that value."[/i]

-- Source: http://hvo.wr.usgs.gov/volcanowatch/2007/07_02_15.html


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 1:11 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

The problem is the ice in the ash.

Does smoke on the water figure in all of this ?


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 5:52 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

What like volcanologists?
http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/2010/planes-or-volcano/

Perhaps fill it with anti-environmentalist nutters who think that nothing we do has any impact on the world. Probably the same blindly short termist pro-business types who were fighting the good fight on behalf of the tobacco companies before they lost that one, or fighting against pollution controls on factories, before we found all the dead / mutated fish etc.

Joe

Nothing to do with if I think humans are causing climate change or not (I happen to think they are), but it really annoys me when people do this. The estimate that they had was out by a massive amount, and it was revised when the Icelandic volcanoligist said the output was "between 150,000 and 300,000". So, what figure do you use for your graph? Surely 225000 would be the best? No, 150,000 so air travel looks much worse in comparison.

Give people the correct and unbiased information, and then let them make a decision based on it. If people are going to be convinced of the existance of climate change, this sort of thing and the glacier debacle are what stand in the way to some extent.


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 6:16 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Perhaps fill it with anti-environmentalist nutters who think that nothing we do has any impact on the world.

Problem is you'll never find enough of them


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 7:12 am
Posts: 14711
Full Member
 

Fill the hole with environmentalists who think human output is more significant than what nature can produce?

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 7:15 am
Posts: 74
Free Member
 

No one has suggested:- wee in its shoes 😆


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 7:25 am
Posts: 4
Full Member
 

Has anyone called Chuck Norris? He'd show that volcano who's boss.....


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 7:31 am
Posts: 2295
Full Member
 

[img] [/img]

It can fix pretty much everything else.


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 8:31 am
Posts: 17366
Full Member
 

So basically we need just one more volcano erupting to equal European CO2 pollution?

Anyone got the figures on how much aero fuel is consumed each day? There should be some other interesting by-products 🙂


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 8:42 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

according to religious leaders in america its due to women wearing short skirts and being promiscuous so depending on your of view its yashm,ak time and no make up or never mind its a small price to pay


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 8:45 am
Posts: 8
Free Member
 

So, all the flights are cancelled and the temperatures rise, surely just a coincidence.....but wait, what happened when all the flights were cancelled following 9/11,m that's right, we had several hot sunny days, one can only assume from this then that flying planes is [i]preventing[/i] climate change 😀

As for putting out the volcano, surely all the CO2 we produce should do that 😉


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 9:03 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Could we not just put on of those big marque tents over the top of it so that the ash doesn't blow away?
I think lidl have a deal on them at the moment.


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 9:06 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

[img] [/img]
/p>

That graphic is annoying me. From the same site, this is just as relevant:

[img] [/img]

The reality is more likely in the middle somewhere.


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 10:01 am
Posts: 7100
Free Member
 

How to switch off a Volcano?

I think the answer is obvious;

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 11:52 am
Posts: 91000
Free Member
 

Fill the hole with environmentalists who think human output is more significant than what nature can produce?

Not many, then.

And that graph is European aviation, per day. The volcano is unlikely to be erupting all year, but the aviation carries on all day, every day, and gets more every year. And so does that of the rest of the world.

The volcano will stop sometime.

It's also worth pointing out (again) that we can't do anything about volcanos, but we CAN do something about air travel.


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 12:57 pm
 Pook
Posts: 12677
Full Member
 

[b]re: the badger stans pic[/b]

Holy happiness inducing thread resurrection Batman!!! 😀


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 1:23 pm
Posts: 341
Free Member
Topic starter
 

Perhaps which ever political party that is found out to be telling the most lies should be invited to a BQ at iceland the place not the shop,with a chefs apron soaked in petrol.


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 1:27 pm
Posts: 31206
Full Member
 

So basically we need just one more volcano
erupting to equal European CO2 pollution?

Read the USGS Volcanowatch article I linked to (i.e. people who know about such things).

The key point is we produce more than 100 times the amount of CO2 from fossil fuels than ALL the hundreds of volcanoes in the world (erupting, smouldering, above ground and sub-sea).


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 2:52 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

All those people stuck abroad only have themselves to blame, you should always make sure your local friendly volcano is unplugged before you go away!


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 2:56 pm
Posts: 8392
Free Member
 

Can't we reverse the wiring on all those windfarms, fire up the quattro and hook them all up to the alternator then blow the ash wherever we feel it would be most amusing?


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 3:17 pm
Posts: 14
Free Member
 

ok, so who's been letting their kids play with..

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 3:25 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

If you can't fix it with duct tape your not using enough!


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 7:04 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Redesign avaiation turbine blades to self clear like military planes?


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 9:57 pm
Posts: 0
Full Member
 

Has anyone called Chuck Norris? He'd show that volcano who's boss.....

The volcano already knows about Chuck Norris. That's why it's affecting Europe


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 10:45 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

own it with some Bombers 😀


 
Posted : 20/04/2010 11:25 pm

6 DAYS LEFT
We are currently at 95% of our target!