[Closed] How should I deal with this? (Kids fighting content)

Tell him you are happy he stuck up for his sister but you don't really want him to go around lamping people.

I wouldn't deal with it by coming on here and making it a topic for a load of middle aged mountain bikers to argue over.

Sort it out, you're their Dad, it's your job.

Sit him down and tell him its not right to start a fight or pick on someone but looking after his sister was a good thing.

Get the young lad into the local boxing club - he's showing potential!

Get the young lad into the local boxing club - he's showing potential!

He's already at a tae kwon do club. I didnt see it, but he tells me he kicked the boy in the face.

Get the young lad into the local political party - he's showing potential!

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😉

I'd be off next door first to have a word.

explain this sort of behaviour belongs in a zoo

A firm handshake should suffice.

Or, if you're soft a pat on the back.

explain this sort of behaviour belongs in a zoo

Oooh, I wish I'd thought of that!

Chapeau junkyard

Yes, just tried looking for that thread to see whether punches were really thrown at the zoo, but can't find it.

[i]explain this sort of behaviour belongs in a zoo[/i]

Of course it does.
Tell him next time to stay out of it & let his sister get a good hiding so the 7yr old bully boy can think he can get away with it every time.

No punches were thrown at the zoo. Merely a deflection.

Tell him you are happy he stuck up for his sister but you don't really want him to go around lamping people.

Good old fashioned common sense innit. Also crikey has kinda nailed it in a harsh but fair way! 🙂

I would be interested to know how you sorted it? Have you spoken to your son? The neighbors? What was the outcome?

Can you teach him sufficient self control to use just enough force to protect himself or his sister, but no more?

One kick to the face would probably have been enough, or better still a shove or a hold. You are allowed to defend, but not retalliate.

One kick to the face would probably have been enough, or better still a shove or a hold. You are allowed to defend, but not retalliate.

I just read that as 'shovel',

Buy him a congratulatory beer (but not lager obviously). And before anyone pipes up about 'underage drinking', the age limit is 5 years old.

I can't see he did a whole lot wrong. I'd be happy if my boy went a bit ott in those circumstances.

Of course it does.
Tell him next time to stay out of it & let his sister get a good hiding so the 7yr old bully boy can think he can get away with it every time

The serious answer was given in the OP anyway and repeated by Scotsroutes

*He is still rewriting it so lord knows what really happened.

JY 😆

Could be a child's face next time.

Junkyard very sharp, made me laugh.

Aye - that Junkyard is as sharp as a mallet.

I'd forgotten all about the incident "at the zoo"

what a carry on

Went for the - "it's good that you stuck up for your sister, but you need to remember that kicking folk in the face is only for tae kwon do" option.

My 2p's worth - a 7 yo attacked a 3 yo and the 3 yo's brother defended her.

Perhaps explain that its ok to defend his sister in such situations but should try to avoid kicking 7 shades of poo out of the said attacker and wherever possible should avoid force all together.

Also, perhaps get one of the tutors at the tae kwon do club to have a word with him and explain when its ok to use the skills he has learned.

Cheers

Danny B

What's there to deal with... Your lad nipped it in the bud in good fashion. Take him out and treat him.

Take him out and treat him.

Come on guy, that is at best a short sighted way to deal with it. Rewarding a child of 7 for being violent can only endorse such action in the future.

He needs to know that helping his sister was right but a violent reaction is wrong.

I should probably add that this is a working class housing estate near to where Trainspotting was set.

A violent reaction is wrong if there are other options. However, if the lad needed stopping quickly as he was about to boot a 3 year old in the face / body whatever then a swift slap may be necessary...

then a swift slap may be necessary...

But by all accounts from the OP, it was not a swift slap. It was a beating that drew blood.

I think that when dealing someone so young, 7 years old you should teach restraint. They are at the stage when they are growing and learning about boundaries. Someone older might be able to distinguish between a situation where they need to 'slap' or simply stand between the child who is trying to kick a little girl.

Edit...I just don't thing it is wise to encourage a slap fist mentality in someone so young.

I should probably add that this is a working class housing estate near to where Trainspotting was set

leave some craft beer for the parents, things'll soon turn around.

A 7yr old punches a 3yr old girl in the face and then goes to put the boot in !!! I don't care how tough an estate it is alarm bells should be flashing big time. The op's son was defending his sister no problem there.

Your boy did nothing wrong. He deserves praise for looking out for his little sister. I think I'd be having a little chat with the 7yo's parents.

Fair play. He nipped it in the bud. It won't happen again.
Tell him he done good for looking after his sister.

You take sh1t you be given sh1t, and he's not taking any for his crew!

Chapeau!

SB
EDIT - re your title "How should I deal with this?"....don't worry, you boy already took care of things!!!

The 7yr olds parents saw it all going on and simply said to their son that if they go about picking on little girls they will more often than not end up with their head in their hands. To be fair on them it was all over very quickly and they had no time to react to their kid hitting my daughter before my son waded in.

Nobody mentions that the sister might have deserved it...

( 😉 in case anyone, well you know)

He did nowt wrong in my eyes, if its bothering you then go speak to the neighbours, take the kids with you. Maybe get them all to shake hands and make them understand that its finished with?

Nobody mentions that the sister might have deserved it...

If beating him in a bike race counts as deserving it then she probably did deserve it.

You could tell the recalcitrant child that you'll send him to live in England.

That should be enough. ..

I think they've just moved from there judging by their accents.

[i]If beating him in a bike race counts as deserving it then she probably did deserve it.[/i]

Humiliated the poor boy then!

I have kids of a similar age I think the wee fella did well sticking up for his sister but yeah bringing in a lesson about restraint and not going OTT is just common sense. The lesson sandwiched between praise so as not to emphasise any any one aspect too strongly.

If beating him in a bike race counts as deserving it then she probably did deserve it.

So your little girl handed him a lesson in bike riding and her brother in bullying...Kinel you need to take them 2 mini gluptons to Disney, and am not talking the pretend one in that there Paris either 😉

Agree with the point about sensible use of his TKD skills, that in normal life they should be used defensively. This scenario does seem like a sensible use of his TKD skills 😉

The only question in my mind would be did he enjoy defending his sister or hurting the other kid?

I don't think that he enjoyed either to be honest. He came straight to me afterwards and said what he'd done and why.

Sounds like a good lad then.

Sounds to me like your boy done good.

That said, is it possible to have some kind of patching up the relationship meeting with the neighbours kid, a kind of 'no hard feelings' sort of thing?

I suspect that because he is your lad, and you are his dad, things will be Ok pretty rapidly.

😉

I have no doubt that they will all be playing together again tomorrow afternoon when school is finished.

The lesson sandwiched between praise so as not to emphasise any any one aspect too strongly.

can you come and live at our house please..?

I agree with you entirely in theory, but mostly in our house we just stagger from one event to the next, cracking skulls whilst at the same time frantically trying to avoid causing too much psychological damage..

are you really a parent..?
or a stooge, or perhaps some sort of a guiltbot..?

Send your daughter to Tae Kwon Do too, so she can break out some sweet moves herself.

But by all accounts from the OP, it was not a swift slap. It was a beating that drew blood.

I think that when dealing someone so young, 7 years old you should teach restraint. They are at the stage when they are growing and learning about boundaries. Someone older might be able to distinguish between a situation where they need to 'slap' or simply stand between the child who is trying to kick a little girl.

The 7yr olds parents saw it all going on and simply said to their son that if they go about picking on little girls they will more often than not end up with their head in their hands. To be fair on them it was all over very quickly and they had no time to react to their kid hitting my daughter before my son waded in.

Just while we're on the subject of Tae Kwon Do - the wee shite next door has until now tried to take the piss out of my son - calling it Tae Kwon Tutu. Wonder if that'll stop now too. 😀

He's learned to treat your 6yo with real respect, too

I disagree, that would more likely be fear than respect.

Sounds like some of the folk on here would like to get H&S involved to check your son was wearing correct footwear and that full risk assessment was carried out beforehand.......and it makes me wonder how many of these folk are actually parents, or parents who wrap their kids in cotton wool to protect them from EVERYTHING.They will grow up one day to find that life away from parents can be very tough, start the learning curve sooner rather than later.

the wee shite next door

He protected his younger sister who was getting bullied, bully go taught a lesson, nobody dies....surely it just stops there as protective brother appears very sensible and using his skills to get best result and bully sulks off

Take him to strip bar tomorrow night

Followed by coke and hookers? 😆

If he has martial arts skills already, get him boxing too. That way he has a glowing career in front of him as a cage fighter. Surely the future every father wants for his son?

Seems fine to me, all you need now is to find a reclusive caretaker to send him off to to get properly trained...

1. Get your son a copy of Ender's Game.

2. Gauge his reaction once he finishes reading it.

3. ???

4. Sit back as your son and daughter take over the world!

Right - middle child got his bike stolen this evening. Oldest son found the older boy who stole it, kicked the crap out of him and got the bike back.

As much as I think that the boy did good, he's going to get a reputation as a troublemaker. That would be about the exact opposite of what he's like as he's a big stickler for rules.

Moving is not on the cards for the next couple of years. 🙁

He's 7. Not only is he going to get a rep, he'll be getting a pasting pretty soon 🙁

Do you live in the ghetto or something?

A wideo in the making

Do you live in the ghetto or something?

Pretty much.

He's 7. Not only is he going to get a rep, he'll be getting a pasting pretty soon

He's 6. But aye - he'll end up hitting someone that is too big for him.

A wideo in the making

Far from it.

I thought I had the balance right with my lad. He was a judoka, plays on the front row in Union to district level and second row in league. He's powerful and he knows it, and the rugby means he is "collision-ready" but so far has managed to use his gob to stay out of fights, despite the best efforts of the various idiots at school who see him as a bit of a trophy.

I have just had the dis/pleasure of watching a video one of his mates took on Monday. The tale is that a kid who spent year 7 abusing and threatening my lad and his twin sister before leaving in a "managed move" had threatened my lad over facebook. A few hours of ripping later and the kid swore he would shank my lad and get someone to **** up his sister. The kid appeared out of the blue when my lad and his girlfriend were chilling down at the local park, and immediately started on him. There are something like three minutes of footage of my lad simply standing with his arms folded while the kid gestures, points, threatens, swears, and then when he relaxes and turns away knees my lad in the balls and punches him twice to the face/jaw.

My lad moves in and throws him with a hip throw, and you can hear the crunch as his elbow and humerus took the full force of the throw. Whoops. Despite the fact that the idiot continues to threaten him my lad rings the ambulance, puts his arm in a makeshift sling and walks him to meet the paramedics. Kid was in surgery yesterday, and my lad feels genuinely sorry for him, saying that the kid didn't have the skills to resolve the whole thing without trying to fight.

buy him an icecream.

For what it's worth, it may be possible to explain to a six year old all about reasonable force and self defence/ defence of his sister and what's right and wrong, but he won't always get it right. After all, many adults can't differentiate or make that sort of sense of the world of violence, so asking a six year old to practise the wisdom of Solomon is a bit fanciful. He'll get some of it, but not all.