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mid-20s, Brazilian & friendly.
Evidently 😲
I'm not pathetic or invisible at all. I have a fund of interesting stories involving derailleurs.
Ha! I’m 42, in poor physical shape and have been bald since I was 18. One of my team at work is younger than the rucksack I use and also (possibly) some of my underwear. I’m too busy being tired to notice anything or anyone around me. I have achieved pretty much nothing in 42 years. Being pathetically middle aged could be the one thing I have become good at.
As a fairly stereotypical 53 year old having just spent the last 3 hours in the pool area at Centerparcs Whinfell with my wife and teenage sons, invisibility will do me just fine......, coupled with a bit of incredulity about what is obviously normal and so far detached from my perception of same...
You lot are amateurs. I've been pathetic since my 20s.
Finally a thread I can relate to (45yr office worker). I was on hols in Kos last week and started the week sucking the tummy in a bit as I strode up to the beech bar in my speedos - by the end of the week I had realised no one cared or even noticed me. (I think I was just outshone by the Greek Adonis who was the lifeguard)
52 and commented on the pylon thread. My ASQ test was so high that I wouldn't notice if anyone noticed me anyway. However, I do still have red hair not grey, a 30 inch waist and am built like a stick. When racing the kids in the peloton, they are often amazed that someone of that age is not dead.
I've never been to Centerparcs.
I’ve never been to Centerparcs.
OXO Tower?
@bikebouy +1
Research says that men become more attractive around 50, dad bod and all (the cash) so there's hope for all you sugar daddies yet. Women on the other hand are either pretty or not and it certainly doesn't improve with age, they're done by 25.
@gnussmas you're actually quite a catch, stop putting yourself down
You had me excited until you got to the cash part. I’m off to eat a packet of biscuits
I’m divorced and live by myself with two cats
You sir, are my hero!
I’m a 62 year old bloke ..admittedly my best years are behind me..but aged 42 I attracted the eye of a stunning 25 year old lass..
20 years later and we are still together..very happily so with a sixteen year old son ..and.. aged 45 she is still as fit looking ..and I’m a lucky bloke ..
Actually, I think this guy has just superseded you to be fair... JUST!
42 here, widowed with 4 kids. One hell of a catch! As in a post in one of my previous posts, realising my situation isn’t exactly appealing to anyone if and when I decide I would like to see other people, isn’t exactly a confidence booster.
There are FAR worse situations to be in if all you're concerned with is attracting the opposite sex... I'm 39 and been with my GF for just over 2 years now, but before we met, as a 37yo singleton with no kids all I used to get was "how come you haven't got any kids, what's wrong with you?" from the ladies I was dating...
What you do have going for you in SPADES is the fact that you can take care of and provide for your family, where as I was clearly giving off a whiff of "non committal overgrown teenager" sadly.
Anyway...
I've just got home from a job interview, where I admitted that the job security (they really want someone who sees themselves doing this role for 10yrs or more) and tbe salary that would allow me to start making decent overpayments on my mortgage and allow a foreign holiday or two a year were REAL highlights!
Middle aged...? You're bloody right I am!
41 here and resolutely pathetic.
All the cock measuring stuff that some other Dads in the playground seem to go in for just passes me by.
Flash motor? Great, but I prefer having a crap one I don’t have to be too careful with.
Clothes that are 20 years too young for them? I tend to wear whatever I am comfortable in.
I think I might well have reached peak apathy, I only really listen to people I like and trust when it comes to ‘life’ stuff. There are far too many pillocks about and far too many people who get bothered by what those pillocks think.
I worked out a while ago that you don’t need to be liked by everybody and you don’t have to take what everybody says to heart. It makes life much easier.
Don't worry about the cash, by 40 single women have up all hope that any man can even rise to the occasion. So as long as you can get up out of your chair and put the bins out without being asked you're a good 'un
46 year old office worker with a very responsible job but still getting PR's and usually top 3 or so strava times for most trails on the day around surrey.
Having said that i just bought a BMX for the first time in my life so yea, pretty pathetic! and i accept im going to look a right clown my first few times riding at the skate park.
To gnusmas, I’m 47, separated with four kids and a face that looks like its been slammed repeatedly in a car door.You would think that separated with 4 kids might raise red flags for women as in he must be a barsteward leaving his kids, must be a bad guy etc but not the case in reality.Women are a lot more open to giving people a chance in my experience and not being so judgemental.None of these accusations above could ever be made against you going on your previous posts. Your doing the very best you can in very difficult circumstances.Dont you worry mate,if I can get dates then when you are ready they will be beating your door down 🙂
Like, for a (heterosexual) bloke at least, attraction seems to be “my age or younger.” In my mid-30s I’d have considered pulling someone in their mid-20s to be quite a coup,
There's a formula for this - the lower limit being half your age plus 7.
Nearly 50 and prefer slipper socks to slippers… 🙂
I've just bought two of these.
Beat that.
I’m wrecked.
Whistling? Yep.
Dreams gone? Yep.
Fat? Yep.
Sucks belly in? Not really. Got to the point where I don’t care.
‘Young’ clothes? Lived in T shirts and cargo shorts for 30 years now. But now it just makes me look special-needs/easily-undressed for slipper-bath
Bald? Full MPB. Nice ‘M’ shape. ‘M’ for Monkey’s arse.
Trying to be cool? No. Never was cool. But I just bought an adult kick scooter and a pair of Quicksilver skater-pumps (£3 new from YHA shop!) to punt it along. I wear hi-viz ankle bands when exercising and one of them is labelled ‘active-wear’. This could function as a clue-giving anklet, communicating my keen-ness for regaining a semblance of fitness. I now have prescription distance-spectacles for TV and driving. They make me look a bit Dicky Attenborough-ish. Should look good on the scooter.
Pathetic? Just wait till those unwanted pop ups change from "Hot MILFs in your area" to "Hot GILFs"...the algorithms sadly,have it right once again.
I'm liking the concept of "peak apathy"
You should go over and give her guide dog a biscuit.
Yup, tis why I'm in amazement. With an enormous nose and squinty eyes put together with awkward mannerisms is doesn't happen often.
Anyway, turns out she wanted one of our free foldable eco-cups.
Women are a lot more open to giving people a chance in my experience and not being so judgemental
Where is this strange planet? And is Richard Branson arranging trips there?
I felt a very small rush of excitement when I unfolded the electric blanket and put it on the bed on Sunday.
I have grey slippers.
I think I have trimmed my annual clothes budget to less than £100
I can't actually remember the last time I played hide the sausage.
He is
Thomas Cook are doing the flights. Its one way only, you can check out, but never leave.
Anyone into Jazz yet 🤪🤪
Awe, well there’s this guy called Robert Glasper who is awesome, and mixes HipHop/Rap/Jazz/Soul/Funk into his music... frankly he’s one of my favourite Artists..
Check him out:
(I’ve blotted our the naughty word for this site, but you can guess what it is...)
We might be old and pathetic, but we still ride bikes doing stupid stuff that most of the kids won't do. I'm 50 very soon, and none of the youngsters in my office ride a bike or do anything 'dangerous'. The odd gym bunny.
We had two cyclists in the office, another roadie (I'm ex roadie now MTB'er) and an Enduro rider, none of whome were kids. They've both moved offices and I'm 3 floors away from my bike buddies. Can't talk bike crap in the office now.
Just done an MTB weekend with 3 mates last weekend, all of us 48-53, of which 3 of us have broken our spines (2 on bikes) and the other had recently has a suspected TIA (mini stroke) - not stopped us.
We were getting pissed in a local gin bar in N. Wales after Brenin, and it's popular with the youngsters. We were busy talking bikes, then discussing how such a girl's skirt was way too short (dad mode kicked in as we are all married with kids). My daughter won't be going out like that ! Old duffers, more interested in bikes.
My French teacher (who was French so had a slightly different outlook than the other teachers at school) said the benefit of getting older is that the age of women you find attractive increases as you age.
He knew he was getting old when he started to find the mothers of the fifth formers (year 11 in current terms?) attractive, whereas when he started teaching they were too old.
I am quite a logical person normally but lately the loneliness and lack of adult conversation is really getting to me. I think it's just another part of my minefield called my brain.
Dont you worry mate,if I can get dates then when you are ready they will be beating your door down 🙂
I really hope your not on about my back door......
As somebody who resembles an experiment by evolution to see what it could get away with, combined with Asperger's which means that I have the social skills and perception of a lump of rock, I learnt a long time ago not to even bother trying to talk to women. Or anybody, for that matter.
Somehow, I managed to get married and have two beautiful daughters, but that was a fluke. I'm 41 and have no friends. That's not an exaggeration. Sometimes I forget my place and try to exchange words with somebody, but soon get brought back to reality.
My local bike shop is MTB-only and is staffed and frequented by confident, good-looking, sociable, outgoing alpha males who use all the latest lingo. The thought of going there to buy anything fills me with dread. I once had to deal with them for a warranty claim on an expensive set of carbon wheels, but didn't even get as far as taking the wheels back to the shop because I was so intimidated by them. That's pathetic.
Mountain biking is my release from all this, and I hate to think what would happen if I had to give it up.
OXO Tower
thats a euphemism, right? Having said that Centerparcs might be too. But no I’ve never been up the OXO Tower either.
65, and I gave up giving a toss thirty-odd years ago. Shonky knee means I haven’t ridden a bike for some years, but there’s a skate shop in Bath with a really nice looking long-board for £99, which would then justify my getting a Thrasher Skate Magazine hoodie.
Somewhere I think I’ve still got some original 80’s copies of that mag.
I think I could still cut a bit of a dash wearing shorts and a ‘Skate and Destroy’ teeshirt...
I was looking at farrah trousers in M&S on Sunday.
I fell off my bike on a flat path tonight.
@trustysteed where are you geographically?
I fell off my bike on a flat path tonight.
I've lost count of the times I've done that. Always with a large audience for maximum embarrassment.
Edit: Ahem. I should probably sit on my stories of the ageing lunatics I’ve met in London for a bit longer.
The trick I think, in regards to the people I’ve met in their forties and fifties to enjoying life is not caring what others think of you. None of the lunatics I’ve met, that lived life as if they were still twenty cared about how others saw them.
Somehow, I managed to get married and have two beautiful daughters, but that was a fluke. I’m 41 and have no friends. That’s not an exaggeration. Sometimes I forget my place and try to exchange words with somebody, but soon get brought back to reality.
I’ve known a few autistic guys who were popular - they weren’t chatty. The trick is not trying hard to be chatty, they were always the broody people in the group. People do actually quite like people who don’t say much. You just have to find a way to sell it. Don’t worry about talking to some bellends in a shop - that’s all fake crap. You can though, meet people who will bring you into the fold of a riding group without expecting you to be chatty.
We had a friend in a group of mine that was so out there, that we fully expected him to go postal one day. It didn’t mean that his presence wasn’t enjoyed and entertaining. :p Then again most of my social circles tend to involve people who don’t really care - even if they are the “jockish” types that you mentioned in the cycle shop, find people who don’t care much for social norms.
I'm 46. I tend to view many characteristics that the younger generations have now as pathetic. I guess that makes me pathetic?
Whatever. Time for this.
The trick I think, in regards to the people I’ve met in their forties and fifties to enjoying life is not caring what others think of you. None of the lunatics I’ve met, that lived life as if they were still twenty cared about how others saw them.
100% this ..
The age difference thing between myself and my missus really used to make me self conscious when we first met ..but after a while you just get to thinking "**** it ..if they want to think I'm her dad then thats their problem "..
Now it's a source of amusement when I see strangers trying to figure it out..
As a mate of mine once wrote on an album track .."I'll never lose the kid in me ..it makes me real "..and it's been my life motto ever since 😁
A few years ago I did grow my hair long simply because all my pals are grey and slapheads 🙂 However this did lead me to appearing at a party like this ( I am on the left)
Pathetic - you judge 🙂
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Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen has let himself go.
🙂
When I emerge from the shower I think I'm Frank Sinatra, by the time I've dressed and staggered down stairs it's more Frank Sidebottom
usually top 3 or so strava times for most trails on the day
But high on the all time leader board for this thread 😁
Thought I was grumpy, old before my time, falling apart and just generally a bit sh1t at life.
Then I read this thread.
Thanks for making a late 30 something very happy, some of you really are pathetic losers 😉
With regard to TJ..I kinda get the LLB comparison (it's the cravat..innit) ..however I think he is going for the "Sean Bean at a luvvies gathering" look ..and to be fair he quite suits it .
What he is not telling is that he was 21 years old at the time ..😉😁
With regard to TJ....
Let's face it.
It's not hard to look suave when you're stood next to a dude in a too small, leather waistcoat and a bum bag. 😉
Long may I still leap like a gibbon...😂
@cougar Leeds/Harrogate area. I've tried looking for local MTB groups, but it all seems to be roadie groups around here.
@raybanwomble I appreciate your words. Perhaps I'll start my own local MTB group or something. The previously mentioned bike shop does rides from the shop, but the thought of joining one terrifies me!
They'll be all like "Hey dude, let's pull some sick moves on the berms* and loam* and then drop some edits", and I'll be like "Errm, I just wanna go MTB'ing on some nice paths and tracks and maybe upload a short video of my unexciting adventures later".
*I have no idea what these are, but I see them mentioned a lot. A berm sounds like a type of small rodent.
This sparked an interesting conversation in our house last night. I share all the above symptoms. 64 a few weeks ago with average fitness but bald and bit overweight. So George Clooney is an extreme aspiration. I can accept that Matt Lucas is probably more realistic.
Anyway I asked my (wonderful, intelligent, fit and considerably younger) wife who I compared with and she said a younger Kirk Douglas. We discussed and compared the merits of my flab and his athletic prowess and she said the most seductive features about any man start with the twinkle in the eyes. Get that right and you can get away with a lot apparently.
My pathetic defence strategy will be to issue any younger pretenders coming into the house with dark sunglasses from now on!
The TV show Teachers came out when I was 21 and I remember loving it. These teachers were cool, mature and how I aspired to be.
Watching it again this week, they're pathetic borderline alcoholic perverts.
My wife pointed out that they hadn't changed but I had. I'm old 😲.
The soundtrack is still great though.
48 next month, my Mum brings me a cuppa every workday morning, most days I can get away without speaking to anyone at work and I can only reminisce about when I was one of the Top 5 Big Hitters on this very forum.
I'd say I'm doing alright.
48 next month, my Mum brings me a cuppa every workday morning
I'm hoping thats "as she walks past my house on the way to pick up the morning paper"
rather than "while she also tucks me in at night with my blanket and a kiss on the cheek"
Is Weeksy jealous I wonder!
I wouldn't blame him, I bet He has to open his own curtains in the morning!
Yep,mid fiffties here,achieved very little and starting to creak a bit.I still notice the young ladies walking past and the dagger in your eyes look I sometimes get.I also find modern Britain utterly repulsive.It's loud,selfish,violent and dishonest/greedy.Either, I really am a miserable old get or the countries gone down the pan.Feel free to tell me.
Both?
Explain how I,m wrong binners.
I was wondering why the country is getting 20,000 more Police Officers.It must be because everything is going so well!
Anyway I asked my (wonderful, intelligent, fit and considerably younger) wife who I compared with and she said a younger Kirk Douglas. We discussed and compared the merits of my flab and his athletic prowess and she said the most seductive features about any man start with the twinkle in the eyes. Get that right and you can get away with a lot apparently
This.
Older blokes who are happy and fun are hard to find - women place a huge emphasis on it. And it explains exactly why the older blokes with a bit of “Cool Hand Luke” about them having younger women attracted to them.
Many of the women I know would be happy to go on dates with older guys, it’s just they can tell if you’re a leery perv who hates the world, yourself and everyone around you.
Be happier and more fun if you’re single and in your 40 or 50s. Basically get over the teenage angst and your divorce.
I thought I was pathetic until I read this thread. Keep up the low work my friends.
This....
monkeycmonkeydo
I also find modern Britain utterly repulsive.It’s loud,selfish,violent and dishonest/greedy.
I was wondering why the country is getting 20,000 more Police <span class="skimlinks-unlinked">Officers</span>
Just replacing a small %'age that Maybot got rid of.
perchypanther
Member
With regard to TJ….Let’s face it.
It’s not hard to look suave when you’re stood next to a dude in a too small, leather waistcoat and a bum bag. 😉
I thought it was a Wurzels tribute act.
Clothes that are 20 years too young for them? I tend to wear whatever I am comfortable in.
Cant that be the same thing? Given my fashion sense, such as it was, has been stuck for quite a while I suspect I will be wearing trendy stuff at some point soon unintentionally.
47, third year into single life after 20+ years of a very convenient marriage. 3 daughters, 2 adult and one 12. Long story short, ex meets new bloke, amicable split, kids pretty good with it all, change of house's but no major upheavals.
20+ year's of nursing under the belt after coming out of the army. Still got hair, teeth and fitness, with no gut to suck in. Pretty standard issue bloke, not trying to be any younger or older than I am and happy with my lot. Enjoyed a move to a more 9-5 life. Had a fun and interesting time on the dating front, only issue seems to be I'm not looking for another long term partner, but outside of that I have been pleasantly surprised by what's on offer.
Always enjoyed gigs, festivals, being outdoors, live footie/ RL, beer and have always incorporated the kids into this. Eldest daughter lives away, middle daughter lives with me (it's closer to work...nice, ta) It seems the youngest will soon be joining me, as the ex intends to move in with new bloke, and the 12yo 'ain't up for that'. I'm over the moon about it as the kids have always been my main focus, ex not so much, but she's set herself up for it. I can't say I'm angry about the state of the country, other people, the neighbour's or how much I've achieved/ not achieved. But I guess in terms of standing out, I'm pretty pathetic, but I'm happy to stay nicely average.
Average is the new awesome.
I thought it was a Wurzels tribute act.
I lol'ed 😀
+1
It’s not hard to look suave when you’re stood next to a dude in a too small, leather waistcoat and a bum bag. 😉
Were you at a CAMRA beer festival. ?
Be more fun ? everyones definition of fun is different . I windsurf for 'fun' . 30knots + is fun. Your version of windsurfing may be 8knots , mill pond flat , drifting around. Its still windsurfing, you may be having fun , in that scenario I wouldn't. in 35knots , yep I would be havin fun, you would be in the margins weaving baskets out of seaweed
Same skiing . Turbo puke blizzard , 1mtr of powder , sod all vis . I am oot all day . You would be in a chalet looking out the window waiting for the sun to come out and the piste bashers to make the runs all flat for you
I dont smile much but I have alot of 'fun' in my own way . I am just not wired to be the hostess with the mostest . I like reading , its not on the fonometer though .Used to enjoy trackdays , probably not 'fun' as they are fairly serious due to the inherrant risks
So what is the measure of 'fun' is there a list? Do these lamo things and women will think you a 'fun' guy and if you get a puppy as well you will beating them back with a big stick wrapped in barbed wire?
Who needs fun when you’re AWESOMZE.
Surf-mat is that you?
It’s not hard to look suave when you’re stood next to a dude in a too small, leather waistcoat and a bum bag. 😉
Were you at an S&M fetish night at the local Legion? if thats all he was wearing ?
pass the mind bleach please.........
I go into the local outdoor shop and try on clothes in the hope that the ladies who work there will talk to me.
edit: I only try on the expensive clothes so they’ll think I’ve got some spare cash.
edit edit: @theboatman, that synopsis of your life sounds a long way from pathetic. Sounds pretty sweet.
No-one has summed up the predicament of the middle-aged, unimportant man better than TS Eliot.
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.I grow old ... I grow old ...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.I do not think that they will sing to me.
Be more fun ? everyones definition of fun is different .
The methods may vary, but you're not sat at home all night watching Love Island and cataloguing paper-clips. Are you fun to be around, good company, or are you a miserable bastard? That's what they were getting at I think.
Be more fun ? everyones definition of fun is different .
Are we about to have another 4 page argument about e-bikes?
@martinhutch - perfect, but you left off the last few lines...
I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me
No worries, my Strava time's top three
On the day
Out of the three riders who went that way. .
🙂
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the segments of the Peak
By E-bikes, wreathed with jerseys red and brown
'til human voices flag us, and we drown
What you need to define here is what is fun and what makes someone old..
I'm not middle ages but do I enjoy life for the most part ..not really.. I'm mutually competent with the way things are..do I have fun..sometimes yes..do I do stupid things to have fun ..well yes..but I live..
Do I fit in with my age group ..no ..I'm usually wearing cargo trousers,polishing and cycle shoes..am I comfortable ..yes..is it fashionable..I dont care..its just what i like and suits me..
Just because your middle aged doesn't mean your life done..I've had some good laughs and felt pretty damn good with middle aged people..they are usually mature and have a good sense of humor ..what more do you need..
Meh I'm 51 so grumpy middle aged man territory but my wife is 40, pretty and slim, my daughter is 6 and I work part time in my own business not stuck to a desk in a shit job. I still mountain bike and motorbike every week and still ride like a kid. Only my body telling me at times it's getting old but tbh compared to the options I'm happy as I am. It does take some concentration at times not to be the grumpy old man though !
What you need to define here is what is fun and what makes someone old..
Getting old doesn't stop you having fun, rather stopping having fun is what makes you old.
Diary of a NObody seems to be a manual for many of us. Definite Pooterish tendancies on here
,
Charles Pooter, his wife Carrie, his son William Lupin, Most of its humour derives from Charles Pooter's unconscious and unwarranted sense of his own importance, and the frequency with which this delusion is punctured by gaffes and minor social humiliations. In an era of rising expectations within the lower-middle classes, the daily routines and modest ambitions described in the Diary were instantly recognised by its contemporary readers, and provided later generations with a glimpse of the past that it became fashionable to imitate.
I’m starting to fight against making a sighing sound when I stand up or sit down.
Why fight it.