[Closed] How pathetic a middle-aged man are you?

I suspect we are all to some degree there with you, realising our youth has slipped away from us and we are not sure what we have really achieved.

I say this typing from my desk and being 41, I'm probably not in anything more than average shape, although a better shape than this time last year.

I didn’t realise I was doing it but then I noticed I was, and now I realise I do it every time.

Don't fret over it. She won't have noticed you doing it, or indeed noticed you at all. 🙂

I guess we all take pride in our appearance, no matter how far from the ideal 'clooney' we are!

I can add balding to my list of faults.

I think it was Bob Mortimer who recounted the story of an attractive young lady who smiled at him on the tube, made eye contact.....and then offered him her seat...😀

I’d say don’t sweat it...it happens to everyone you know!

Call that pathetic?

Hold my beer.....

I’m 47 years old. I’m happily married. I have an extremely dull desk job. I’m probably in worse shape than most 47 year olds (including those I see around me doing their dull desk jobs), but George Formby I ain’t.

I’ve come to realise that, whenever I see an attractive lady from the age of, I dunno, early twenties upwards, I immediately assume that she views me as some sort of deviant sexual predator even though I'd much rather just have a nice bowl of soup these days. I get all self conscious and modify my behaviour to try not to come across as a creepy pervert, even though I'm really not.  It doesn't help. I didn’t realise I was doing it but then I noticed I was, and now I realise I do it every time.

I’m more pathetic.

I’ve come to realise that, whenever I see an attractive lady from the age of, I dunno, early twenties upwards, I stand up straighter, pull my shoulders back a bit and suck in my gut. I didn’t realise I was doing it but then I noticed I was, and now I realise I do it every time.

I wouldn't bother, she won't have seen you.

Remember The Sixth Sense? The world is just like that, except it's not dead and living, it's over 35's and under 35's. We're invisible to them, they just hear vague whispers telling them what to do, which they promptly ignore.

but George Formby I ain’t.

Except when you're cleaning windows, I've heard.

Except when you’re cleaning windows, I’ve heard.

If you could see what I can see...

I'm with PP on this one.

Also noticed at some point in the past 5 years or so (I am 52) that all checkout girls etc get thanked with some form of endearment.... thanks darling, thank you lovely, etc, etc. You know, the same way your dad did, which used to to embarrass you as a kid.

I'm divorced and live by myself with two cats

Not at all (IMHO!).

all checkout girls etc get thanked with some form of endearment…. thanks darling, thank you lovely, etc, etc.

You see, you've got show you're not scared of the new fangled technology and use the self-checkout tills - unless you use the normal checkouts because you've not got anyone else to talk to!

This thread is far too light-hearted to reflect how pathetic I am.

Start a new one to include constant dark thoughts (when I can be arsed, that is), and I'll be all in!

Im 33, i think i started behaving like this at 21!

As with so many things in life, Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconi summed it up perfectly. To summarise:

As a man over the age of 40 you are effectively invisable. Nobody will notice you. So just accept that and put a fleece and some comfy trousers on

As a designer, working some of the time in fashion retail, some of the time at achingly cool agencies (where I am thankfully invisable) I regularly see guys in their 40's and even 50's trying waaaay too hard - sporting skinny jeans, sculpted waxed facial hair, boating shoes with no socks etc. The full hipster look

Its tragic

Get a bloody grip ..
I'm a 62 year old bloke ..admittedly my best years are behind me..but aged 42 I attracted the eye of a stunning 25 year old lass..
20 years later and we are still together..very happily so with a sixteen year old son ..and.. aged 45 she is still as fit looking ..and I'm a lucky bloke ..

I didn’t realise I was doing it but then I noticed I was, and now I realise I do it every time.

Ignoring the big-headed freak (well, [i]obviously[/i] something is freakishly big) above. I think IHN and Perchy will be pleased to know, that once your 40s are over and you reach mid-50s, the reaction to these 20s+ women passes. Not only do they not notice you, but you stop noticing them.

Except maybe on telly, where the rewind button on the remote gets a bit erm.. worn.

😉😁
If that was referencing me Dez..I can only wish!
Decidedly average mate..

I think IHN and Perchy will be pleased to know, that once your 40s are over and you reach mid-50s, the reaction to these 20s+ women passes.

Nope. Not even slightly. 67 and I notice every time. I spend 90% of my life trying to hide the fact I self identify as Sid James.
Luckily my pathetic nature includes still thinking riding bikes through puddles is epic. I think my development stopped at the age of 17.

I spend 90% of my life trying to hide the

...

I approached the carriage return on my screen with much trepidation.
Perve.

🙂

https://gfycat.com/animatedshockingcrustacean

54. Not too fat, could be fitter. Dental assistant, who is in her 60's, offered to help me put my jacket on the other day out of pity.

mid-50s, the reaction to these 20s+ women passes. Not only do they not notice you, but you stop noticing them.

Not quite true - you just start assuming anyone under 30 is about 16 years old, and wondering why their mother lets them out of the house dressed like that.

 I immediately assume that she views me as some sort of deviant sexual predator even though I’d much rather just have a nice bowl of soup these days.

It's the way you lean against that lamppost, and as for what you are doing with your little stick of Blackpool rock well is it any wonder they give you a wide berth.

think best to cut the George Formby references unless old age is the new middle age - Formby died in 1961...I was born in 1959 and have vague recollections of aged relatives laughing at him on that expensive we just got one new fangled* 2 channel black and white TV

*gave you that one for free

All I see so far are some pretty amateur levels of pathetic middle aged man acceptance, so hold onto your cocoa and prepare to be impressed...

After leaving the military and realising I could no longer fall back on Middle East tans, fresh war stories and my "nothing to do during downtime but hit the gym" sculptured body to impress the young ladies I made a plan.

What profession features lots of young, often attractive females who may find a collection of old war stories 'interesting'? What profession also enables you to routinely display your caring nature in front of said attractive young females and will occasionally find you at work social functions, where the ratio of attractive young females to men (let alone increasingly saggy middle aged ones) is firmly in your favour?

Welcome to the world of nursing, where your dad jokes are laughed at by women young enough to be your daughters and where, when out on social functions, you turn full-on self-designated protector to ward off young, non-healthcare connected males from 'your' group of females.

😉

t’s the way you lean against that lamppost, and as for what you are doing with your little stick of Blackpool rock well is it any wonder they give you a wide berth.

It's when i start "strumming my banjolele" that they really get the fear.

What profession features lots of young, often attractive females who may find a collection of old war stories ‘interesting’?

You are Mark Francois and I claim my blue passport.

Welcome to the world of nursing, where your dad jokes are laughed at by women young enough to be your daughters and where, when out on social functions, you turn full-on self-designated protector to ward off young, non-healthcare connected males from ‘your’ group of females.

This feels like it should be voiced by Sir David Attenborough.

you turn full-on self-designated protector to ward off young, non-healthcare connected males from ‘your’ group of females.

This a million times. I share a house with a couple of pretty girls who work in a local pub. I hear the stuff they have to listen to, get a bit annoyed on their behalf and then realise:
a) They can handle it very easily having had that attention most of their lives and b) what was i actually going to do? Nothing that would end well.

You are Mark Francois and I claim my blue passport.

How dare you Sir, how very dare you.

#i❤eu

The last woman I asked out actually laughed out loud...
IME people who think they are pathetic have a lot going for them but just can't see it, whereas the big heads need bringing down a peg or two.

It is odd how otherwise very attractive women in their 20s who 20 years ago would have registered pretty highly on the lobometer scale now barely raise a flutter. Are we programmed to find people of roughly the same age attractive or is it some sort of built in rejection defence mechanism?

I'm 47 white male married with 2 teenage kids - don't have dull desk job tbf and am in generally good shape, however: During a recent lunchtime discussion my entirely female team (the eldest of whom is 30) were having about certain filmstars - Chris Pratt was described as having a "Dad bod" - I of course made the mistake of asking what this meant and they were all too embarrassed to tell me.

Are we programmed to find people of roughly the same age attractive or is it some sort of built in rejection defence mechanism?

Combination of the 2 I suspect.
I mean - that Holliday Grainger on the telly, I could look at her all bleedin day, but there's no way she'll ever get a chance to reject me! The bitch. 😆

Remember The Sixth Sense? The world is just like that, except it’s not dead and living, it’s over 35’s and under 35’s. We’re invisible to them, they just hear vague whispers telling them what to do, which they promptly ignore.

The plus side of this effect is when a bunch of teenagers are running around stabbing each other with knives, they completely ignore you too.

Anyway I'm 51, my wife is 37 and completely ignores me. Again not necessarily a bad thing.

Never sure if that reaction to an attractive woman makes me a dirty middle aged man or not, just to add to my confusion.

How sad am I? Last night in Tesco I remembered I needed a new pair of slippers. As they had a security tag, decided it was easier to go to a staffed checkout. I chose the less attractive middle aged checkout assistant rather than the cute uni age one, just in case she had low expectations, even lower self esteem and father issues and couldn't control herself..🙄

I get all self conscious and modify my behaviour to try not to come across as a creepy pervert,

... thus ensuring that you do come across as exactly that. (-:

… thus ensuring that you do come across as exactly that. (-:

I know, right?

It’s probably the balaclava that does it

registered pretty highly on the lobometer scale

I initially read that as "lobotometer" and it made for a very different post.

Are we programmed to find people of roughly the same age attractive

I've often idly wondered this.

Like, for a (heterosexual) bloke at least, attraction seems to be "my age or younger." In my mid-30s I'd have considered pulling someone in their mid-20s to be quite a coup, but in my mid-20s I wouldn't have looked twice at someone in their mid-30s. Maybe we're just shallow? 😎 Yet the ladies don't appear to suffer from a similar affliction.

It’s probably the balaclava that does it

You think they find you attractive, but they're just pulling the wool over your eyes?

I mean – that Holliday Grainger on the telly, I could look at her all bleedin day, but there’s no way she’ll ever get a chance to reject me!

Hey! Eyes off! I've got dibs on looking at Holliday Grainger on the television and thinking that she'll never get the chance to reject me!

I know, right?
It’s probably the balaclava that does it

You know when people say they are owed a new keyboard? Well, that actually happens. **** me, that was funny.

50 here. Still in good shape, OK so I am not Mark Wahlberg or Jason stathan but still got flat stomach and reasonable abs. Not as good as they were in my 30s but better than 99 % of 40+ blokes.
Rest of me.. Falling apart with quickening pace. No women have looked at me in the last 20 years so nothing changed in that department, as for standing up straighter etc nope why bother

Im mid 40s, divorced, got a teenager, have a serious professional job, I'm covered in tattoos and piercings (and still adding to the collection) have beard and am probably the sort of person that binners thinks is a bit sad. However I've been a freak since I was a teenager and I'm ******** if I'm going to become some beige wearing nobend just to make others feel all comfy in their worldview.

according to the younger ladies i know in their 20's and 30's I'm either hench and a silver fox or a scary looking serial killer. I'm happy with both i think

Im getting married to a rather delightful younger lady next year, so clearly not too invisible and bland yet.

I'll be the old git looking like a convict version of santaclaus if I make into a ripe old age and i'll still be as happy in my skin as I am now. If you are confident and happy in yourself, you'll always be attractive to someone (even if not conventionally pretty/handsome/good looking)

I am however looking forward to getting to middle-rage, where I can shout at the telly, swear about the youth of today and get all flustered that everyone else is just clearly an idiot.

so in summary:
To others, I'm probably a desperate pathetic saddo who refuses to grow up/old/whatever the hell that is.
To me, I'm having a great time having survived drug addictions, suicide attempts and all sorts of carnage in my life, so every day is a wonderful bonus that should be celebrated in its fullest, wrinkly bits, grey hairs, random fluffy ears and all

To get reach pathetic you have to start from desperate.
The older I get,the more comfortable I am with who I am.
I like me and so do the people that I care about,it's enough.

I think im at this stage now at 48
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Last night in Tesco I remembered I needed a new pair of slippers. As they had a security tag, decided it was easier to go to a staffed checkout. I chose the less attractive middle aged checkout assistant rather than the cute uni age one, just in case she had low expectations

I would do exactly the same thing. We're pathetic.
Actually, I'm so pathetic I buy my slippers online so nobody sees.

In the video for the Verves Bitter sweet symphony, theres a bit where he passes a young lady who gives him a 'look'.

My mate always said that she was looking at him in disdain and thats all he ever got from women. I disagreed and said she was giving him the eye and he was probably missing loads of opportunities!!

I still get looks like that from ladies even at 43, but now i'm starting to think my mate was right all along.....

Actually, I’m so pathetic I buy my slippers online so nobody sees.

I get the wife to get them so I dont have to worry about what color to choose.

I'm still in my dressing gown.

I’m either hench

You know you're a pathetic middle-aged man when you have to google what "hench" means.

If you are confident and happy in yourself, you’ll always be attractive to someone (even if not conventionally pretty/handsome/good looking)

True dat. Some of the most, ah, interesting ladies I've been fortunate enough to enjoy the company of over the years have not been what you'd call conventionally beautiful.

I'm 51. My colleague told me yesterday that So and So (25) in the office thinks I'm in my "late 30's". I was chuffed. After reading this stuff I realise she hasn't really bothered looking at me, or she's thinking of somebody completely different 🙁

You know you’re a pathetic middle-aged man when you have to google what “hench” means.

I assumed it was a typo.

Ah, that reminds me.

MrsIHN and I used to work for the same company. One afternoon, I nipped up to her floor to have an exciting married couple conversation about who was picking up the milk on the way home or something similarly mind-blowing.

When I left, the (early 20s) fella who sits next to her asked "is that your dad?".

At the time Mrs IHN was 40.

42 here, widowed with 4 kids. One hell of a catch! As in a post in one of my previous posts, realising my situation isn't exactly appealing to anyone if and when I decide I would like to see other people, isn't exactly a confidence booster.

I’ve come to realise that, whenever I see an attractive lady from the age of, I dunno, early twenties upwards, I stand up straighter, pull my shoulders back a bit and suck in my gut.

Despite trying this, even when I suck my gut in I still look like I've swallowed a beach ball. Between that and wearing shorts all year round whatever the weather, I think there could be a number of reasons why I am invisible to everyone.

You know you’re a pathetic middle-aged man when you have to google what “hench” means.

I is well peng innit

48 here and my missus is 54. She is waaaaay better looking a female than i am a male. The fact i am younger than her is the only thing stopping me panicking that i am actually punching well above my weight.

My colleague told me yesterday that So and So (25) in the office thinks I’m in my “late 30’s”. I was chuffed.

Don’t worry school kids come out with that regularly; it’s the oldest age they can conceive someone can still get around independently without being institutionalised.

Two years ago I was 7kg heavier and was in the gym 5 times a week. Now, my knees and elbows are giving up on me slowly and the thought of going back to heavy olympic lifting scares me. I have a hard time doing anything other than cycle to work and back and I just want to spend weekends either (good weather) skydiving or (bad weather) doing DIY.

I own a pair of slippers. They keep my feet warm. Two weekends ago I BBQ'd wearing them. I have even been given a pair of not-Crocs so that I do not have to keep putting boots on to walk the dogs.

I regret nothing.

I clicked into, and almost commented on, the Pylon chat on here yday

My name is Ro5ey and I am pathetic

but aged 42 I attracted the eye of a stunning 25 year old lass..

Says millionaire hodgynd 😉

realising my situation isn’t exactly appealing to anyone if and when I decide I would like to see other people, isn’t exactly a confidence booster.

You say that, but.

Yes, in your 20s being a single parent might well be a major turn-off for many people. In your 40s though, simply "not being a complete mentalist" means you're way ahead of the curve.

Plus if you're job-seeking, being made redundant is a far more appealing reason to be unemployed than if you'd just been sacked.

I is well peng innit

I've never been, but I hear it's quite nice.

All this talk about how middle aged Men feel and the fact that they think “they’re overlooked” or “seen as invisible”

Think how a middle aged Woman feels.

Centuries of peer pressure to “look good” all the bloody time and for what when you turn 50? Passed over for promotions, new jobs, new husbands...

Thankfully not everyone thinks the same.

Someone wrote “be happy in your own skin” that’s got more meaning than the words typed.

FWIW I find older elegant ladies very attractive. The 30-something’s bore me with their lack of attention and glancing over your shoulder types.

Be nice, be kind, be considerate because that’s all they want from you.

Be nice, be kind, be considerate because that’s all they want from you.

^^ this.

Plus, you can buy Viagra on the Internet these days.

You can buy Viagra in Boots, it’s sold next to Nightol sleeping tablets

@taxi25..if only!..😁
No millionaire and far from it ...Just extremely lucky ..mind you I think she was pissed at the time ..😂

FWIW I find older elegant ladies very attractive.

One of my neighbours came out to chat about her garden (not a euphemism) a few weeks back, she even invited me into the back garden (not a euphemism) to look at her big plants (not a euphemism). I actually, briefly thought "Would I?"... She was at least 65. I'm so pathetic. But you know, not being noticed means chances are rare 😆

You can buy Viagra in Boots

Of course, but can you buy it in your slippers?

I met a woman in a pub not so long ago. She was older than I'd normally go for, not so much pushing 50 as dragging it (on probably quite a long rope). But despite that she was still hot as ****, she must have been devastating in her younger days.

We got talking, got on really well, and she invited me back to her place. We had a bit of a snog and a fumble, then she said to me "do you fancy a bit of... you know... mother and daughter action?"

Quids in! "Hell yes," I said.

So she got up, went to the door and yelled up the stairs, "hey, mum!"

^^^😂😂

A very attractive lady in her mid 20s has moved into the area and joined our Karate club. Don’t know what grade she is as she hadn’t unpacked her Gi and belt last week, so turned up in gym kit much to the excitement of the “senior” grades.

At the end of the session we had to pick a partner for kumite (free fighting) and she ended up with the one closest in age to her, my 12 year old lad. We then moved on to melee where you fight anyone and everyone, so I did the fatherly thing and kicked his legs out from underneath him from behind.

I’m expecting there to be a full turnout of middle-aged men all trying to batter the crap out of each other tonight.

I’m attending a conference today and theres a raven haired good looking early 40’s woman on another vendors stand that keeps smiling at me.

After reading this thread i dont know what to think.

I'm pathetic and 66.
I occasionally have a brief chat with the lass in the greengrocers, who is mid-20s, Brazilian & friendly.
A couple of months ago she asked if I was single.....

"because my mum needs a boyfriend"

We are still speaking, but her mum's left the area.

I’m ******** if I’m going to become some beige wearing nobend just to make others feel all comfy in their worldview.

Yeah this ^^^ definitely this ^^^.

I clicked into, and almost commented on, the Pylon chat on here yday

Oh.

Am 36, so according to up there ^ somewhere am now bordering on invisible to women.

Got a couple of looks and a wee smile from a girl in Costa today though, probably in her early 30s, redhead, just my type. Unfortunately I was so surprised by this I forgot to smile back, moment passed, bugger. Probably very pathetically middle aged to constantly dwell on wee moments like that hours after they've passed though....

I'm actually quite confident in myself otherwise, have decided that 'young professional daddy' is still an attractive look* and thankfully our 2 year old is nauseatingly cute and can shout 'hiya' in a cute way on command.

*although the only girls who see it are typically the girls at nursery, who probably see 20 or 30 identical young professional daddies every morning...

LOL @Moses 🙂

I’m attending a conference today and theres a raven haired good looking early 40’s woman on another vendors stand that keeps smiling at me.

Are you still wearing your slippers?

Im quite impressed that Moses knows she's got a Brazilian..😉

I’m attending a conference today and theres a raven haired good looking early 40’s woman on another vendors stand that keeps smiling at me.

You should go over and give her guide dog a biscuit. 😉