You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more
My best friends Husband has been told by his Dr. to lose weight.(3.5 stone).
Being 45 and in a job that involves long hours and with 2 small children at home, he say's he can't find the time.
Instead on his way home from work he bought a box of 'special K', some slimming pills and a couple of magazines on how to lose weight.
Last week he visited a nutritionalist (sp?) to work out a healthy eating plan.
For a small fee I could have to told him to : halve his intake of food and beer, instead of spending time on these fads ( e.g reading the actual magazines) taking part in a tiny bit of exersise.
He lives 2 miles from work and I have tried to persuade him to cycle there.
I'm getting nervous incase he keels over and has a heart attack leaving my friend to pick up the pieces.
How do you busy guys and girls manage it?
I dont. I'm uselessly unmotivated.
Tell him to buy a dog. Job done.
2 miles to work? Thats walkable in a decent amount of time, too as a start. And if the threat of heart attack isn't motivation enough welli'llbeblown
[i]How do you busy guys and girls manage it? [/i]
By not having a job so not being busy! 😉
Working exercise into your daily rouotine is so easy! No-one is asking him to go and run a marathon. It's just a case of walking to the shops, cycling to work, even just doing some DIY or housework is better than nothing.
Mmmm the energy he used up to think of excuses not to cycle to work had burned off at least 500 calories.
Crazy-legs can you come over and try and tell him, as he sure as hell won't listen to we women?
He has a bike which is gathering dust in the garage. Loosly called an mtb).
If the guy lives two miles from work and doesn't walk or cycle then he might be a tough nut to crack.
Hide his car keys?
walk/cycle/run to work, get a dog, get kids to joins scouts/guide and volunteer to be a helper (the little bastards will run you fit). Either that or find something he can do with the kids (swimming) so he can combine activities.
If you have limited time, running burns a lot of calories in not much time, however its a steep/painful learning curve, but getting decent shoes helps, but alternating driving/running into work if the route is OK to run would be any easy thing to work towards.
[b]3.5 STONE ??[/b] that's 25L of flab, almost 3 buckets full 🙁
The trouble with exercise is, it's very very very boring... so I never do it, I just ride my bike (for fun)
Get up an hour earlier & go for a run
how heavy is he now? as if he is seriously big then running could knacker his knee's pretty quickly though.
Needs a forceful approach. Took a family member of mine to have a heart attack before he realised.
Steal car keys. Take him to the pub, get him drunk and discuss it with him. Make him a challenge (like booking a biking event or something).
Don't do exercise, that is boring
Do manly sporting things that blokes find cool and women find attractive (that is exercise described to someone who hasn;t done it for a while).
The cycling to work thing might not be the big deal you guys are making it. If he works in a suit and tie and has to meet clients and potentially take them out during the day makes riding to work inconvenient. Find ways to make exercise convenient.
Just try walking to work for starters and then move onto somethign more vigorous when he can get to work in about 35 minutes without sweating his guts out, take it easy to begin with.
If that doesn't work take the sly option, invite them round for a dinner party, get drunk and tell him if he really fancies seeing his kids get married / graduate / have kids then he better buck his ideas up and loose some weight / get fit quick smart.
if it causes offence appologise a few days later saying that it was the wine talking, but if it does make offence you know he's actually listened!!
It can be hard to actually lose weight and exercise more. I am about 3.5 stone over weight. My job involves sitting down and talking. I spend a lot of time flying around Europe and staying in hotels, often having to entertain clients at lunch and dinner. When I do get home I like to spend some time with the wife. An ankle injury prevents my walking more than 1/2 a mile without a stick. I can normally ride a bit but a couple of rides in this cold weather has ****ed that up for a couple of months at least.
So far I have cut down on the drinking and tend to go for fish or the veggie options in hotels as part of my weight loss plan.
That's the point, if he's already a fat unfit biffer then he's going to think that "exercise" involves pumping iron down the gym or putting on lycra and going for a run/ride. It doesn't.
At his level, "exercise" involves walking to the shops and not drinking/eating as much (or eating more fruit/veg) etc. Not going for a run/ride. Maybe not even going swimming with the kids if he's embarrassed about his size/how he'll look in swimming trunks. Even just doing the hoovering round the house will be better than nothing!
YEARS ago (when I was at school) I often used to go cycling round the local park in an evening. There was a guy I used to see there most nights, HUGE bloke on a Brompton, really fat. He wore what was supposed to be a baggy tracksuit but was bulging at the seams. Tyres on his poor bike were almost on the rims. He'd puff and pant round one lap in the time it took me to do 3. Every night this guy was there and within 4 months he was slim and a real racing snake. By then he was in lycra and actually had muscle tone and definition. Hour or so a night in summer, that was it. He lost LOADS of weight.
Even just a 10min walk round the block, walking to pick the kids up from school - when you're that unfit, ANYTHING helps!
Even if he wears a suit to work he can easily ride in, if he does it 2/3 times a week it will make a difference.
He can take stuff to change into on the other days when he could easily walk in.
But unless he actually wants to do it then there's not much you can do.
The big thing is building it into your normal routine. Apparently you have to do something 7 times before it becomes routine.
Walking would be the best way for him to lose weight. I'd defo suggest walking to work if time allows - or even walking at lunch time. The important thing is to keep it up so it becomes routine - then the benefits will become obvious.
Stop drinking for a few months. The weight will drop.
Eat less move more - its the only answer.
For me cycling to work is the thing that I do that keeps me fit. 20 mins each way a few days a week. Thats your recommended exercise done with added stressbuster elements and no extra time taken
That's a grand story crazy-legs.
🙂
Okay, so we tend to agree the guy needs to eat/drink less and exercise more. I reckon the walk to work once a week and build up from there is probably the best way. He can call it Power Walking if it helps.
What should I do to lose weight then?
Cut down on beer - Tick
Reduce food calories - Tick
Can't walk or ride or put repeated pressure on my right foot so what exercise?
"Cut down on beer - Tick
Reduce food calories - Tick"
Thats all you need to do really WCA
Forgot to add that because I have snapped my sturnum the only swimming stroke I can do without my ribs falling out is breast stroke.
Sounds fun but gets dull. When I first did my ankle I was swimming about 1 mile 2 - 3 times a week. I kept it up for a year and still put on weight. I hadn't changed my diet or drinking, just stopped cycling
'Can't find time' is a lame excuse for being not being motivated enough, and one I use lots 🙂
Wake up an hour earlier 3 or 4 times a week and go for a run.
This is what I'm trying to do, but I'm lazy.
And only 2 miles from work? Jeez, he should walk it. If he's never run before, then do the walk/jog thing and build up at a very slow pace. Within a few months he'll be jogging all 2 miles.
If he can't be motivated to do that then he should give up on the get healthy plan 🙂
WCA - You'll end up with serious arm/shoulder muscles...
[img] 
[/img]?
coffeeking - I like it. Is there a hand powered trike class in Passport Du Soliel this year?
monday evening run 9 miles fast pace
tuesday evening swim 2 hours
wednesday evening swim 2 hours
thursday evening turbo trainer
friday evening run 9 mile fast pace
saturday evening chippy with mushy peas and chicken nuggets
sunday 8am-when ever i get back ride my arse off works for me
ps anyone fancy riding solo with me at dusk til dawn i get bored on my own need some one to chat to as i go round
sfb - i can't agree - exercise is competitive, affirming and great fun, especially with friends or opposing oneself.
fitness is a lifetime commitment. cycling is great fun, with fitness as a consequence, i'd agree.
i walk, swim, cycle and use the gym as well as run my own consultancy. time management is vital.
either you do, or you don't, but imo, you should !
Incorporate excercise into daily routine.
Walk a bit faster to get places, walk or cycle to work. Walk to the shops, take the stairs, get off the bus a couple of stops early and walk, walk with kids to park (if they're young). Failing that tell him to stop eating.
I have to wait for a leap year, and have a good burn out with the whole extra day, or wait till the clocks go back and just have the post exercise shower ...
Thanks guys.
He has had the shock talk from the doctor. Nothing my friend or I say will make any difference.
I may print off this page and show him. He needs a male friend to say look mate, this is the deal, exercise or die.
I did laugh though at the box of special k sitting at the breakfast table, and him thinking he's helping himself.
Maybe when the warmer weather comes, he may take the bike out. I'll offer to cycle with him if it helps.
Why would that work?
If someone told me to stop/start doing something or die I'd just say "we all die" and continue as normal. In fact I'd die just to annoy them. It's a man thing.
Just get him a dog.
Now the dog thing is not a good idea, for the fact that my friend will end up looking after it and we're back to square one.
The concept of incorporating exercise into a routine is correct.
But, the biggest stumbling block is how to do it so that it becomes routine in its own right.
He needs to start slowly and build up. That means, week one he walks to and from work once. Week two, he does it on two days. and so on. The same is for reduction of food. It's no good an immediate cessation of eating. It needs to be done gradually.
Why? small goals are easier to achieve and keep the mind focussed.
(Oh and I doin't practice what i preach - I'm in work right now craving chocolate to keep me going).
Similar thing with a mate last year - had a health scare, stupid lifestyle, not exercicing enough, young kids, big meals at funny times and alcohol etc etc. We agreed to enter the Manc 100 together to give him motivation to train and lose weight.
I lost a stone, he gained 2 lbs and still rode the 100 miles.
We are trying again this year!
What I learnt from this is that if he has had the shock talk from the doc, you might want to see what his missus can do to help him find the time to exercise, and what she can do to help his food choices at home - he is unlikely to be able to do it by himself.
Become a Play Boy 🙂
It's like most things. If he genuinely (and I mean [i]genuinely[/i]) wants to exercise more then he'll find the time. If deep down he doesn't then he'll come up with all sorts of excuses. I know loads of folk with kids, jobs, whatever and they all find the time.
The cycling to work thing might not be the big deal you guys are making it. If he works in a suit and tie and has to meet clients and potentially take them out during the day makes riding to work inconvenient. Find ways to make exercise convenient.
That's just another excuse along the lines of not having time. Lots of people who work in a suit and tie and have to meet clients ride a bike to work. Frankly, if I were a client I'd rather be seen by someone thin with a bit of oil on his trouser leg and helmet hair than some fat bloke with perfect hair!
If he has two young kids and he doesn't want them to be without a dad in the next ten years, he needs to do something about it.
sfb - i can't agree - exercise is competitive, affirming and great fun, especially with friends or opposing oneself.
I have an extremely low boredom threshold, so I have to do things I [b]like[u] :o) Exercise isn't it. Riding is.
I'd suggest to his wife that she stops sleeping with him until he isn't such a disgusting fat pig anymore.
I've got two kids, full time job, and a 45min commute each way - but still find time for exercise. (I go to the gym before work.) If there's a will, there's a way. I'd work on motivating him first... Make it a challenge, something his ego will force him into completing.
Frankly, if I were a client I'd rather be seen by someone thin with a bit of oil on his trouser leg and helmet hair than some fat bloke with perfect hair!
Hmmm... tough one. Fat bloke or sweaty-bloke? But if a fat bloke turned up on a bike he'd be a fat sweaty bloke. He wouldn't get the contract for sure.
Everyone can find time to exercise,but idle fat lazy buggers will always find an excuse as to why they can't.I have no time for them....
When I was growing up there were a few of us who learnt to surf together. One of the boys was a pretty big guy - 6'4" and about 14 stone when trim. Anyway he got married and despite having an active job, he cut back on the surfing doing family thing etc and never used to be concerned with what he ate. I've moved away from home but have seen him over the years and he was carrying a fair bit of weight, but on his frame didn't look ridicuously fat. Recently had a message from one of the boys that this guy had had a massive heart attack, followed by 8 hours of heart surgery where they lifted out the heart and re-valved it. Apparently he's now lost 5 stone in weight. He's the same age as me, 43 years of age. Tell your friend this story - it may help motivate him into doing at least some exercise if the alternative is too horrendous to contemplate.
i have the time, but not the motivation! My new trick is to tell the dog we're going for a walk ( i run) and she gets excited and i feel i cant let her down so have to go! That works for me. Anyway, i know that was not the question, but there you go....
tell him to up his life insurance and include you in his will.
Might not motivate him, but at least you'll get something out of it.
Tell him not to feel bad about it either, after all, if he rates his job above his familty, they probably won't miss him when he's gone.
[i]Tell him to buy a dog. Job done. [/i]
That'll just exercise whichever leg he favours for kicking, surely?
WCA: have you thought about (sound's girly but actually very good exercise) Yoga? Specifically [url= http://www.bikramyoga.co.uk/faq.html ]Bikram[/url] style, it's quite high intensity.
If he's already very busy, mibbe he doesn't want to dedicated any of his remaining daily/weekly time to exercising alone and would rather be with the wife/kids? In that case, the wife needs to find something they can all do as a family, not make it something that he just has to do on his own. It doesn't take much. Start with gentle walking or cycling. Get bikes/ trailer bikes for the whole family. Run around and play football in the garden or in the park. Of course it's more difficult at this time of year, but there's always swimming. It doesn't have to be "exercise" as some sort of stand-alone activity, it just means being a bit more active.
druidh aka onion 😉 has just posted the best reply to a post ever!
2 miles to wor! run backwards and forwards 4 times morning and evening. The weight will fall off!
I built a climbing wall in the shed as my exercise.
Probably not the most appropriate but its damn good and useful to have
what druidh said -)
it has to be something that works for the whole family. I ride at best twice a week, swim at best twice a week and am a little overweight, around half a stone. I know that if I commuted a few times a week I could be twice as fit but it just ain't feasible for me - long hours, suit rqd to be worn at work, limited washing facilites, Glesga roads and a wife that reckons I'll get run over and leave my weans fatherless if I ride to work (and she could be right........again)
I think if you have most of the following..
Long commute
Long hours/hard job
Young family
Partner/wife
Requirement for business travel
It can be very hard. The lack of spare time gets to a point where it's either have no rest at all or do sport. I'm almost there now and hence am looking for a job closer to home.
That said, jogging is a good place to start as it's very time efficient.
A couple of scare stories for him
One friend of mine had a major heart attack at 48 and then died at 50 due to a bad lifestyle - drinking, eating takeaways and smoking. Another has had a stroke at 50. This is what can and will happen if he continues as he is.
If he is time short then the best bet is to use his commute to work as his exercise. Killing two birds ( at least) with one stone. It takes little longer and your daily exercise is incorporated into your daily routine.
I only get to go running at lunchtime twice a week right now. Three times if I am lucky. But, I have a dog and take him for a walk three times a day and do press-ups and sit-ups with extra weight every morning and evening without fail. Ok, not many (call it 75 pressups, 30 sit-ups a session), but it keeps some muscle tone in a body that is forced to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours a day.
In summer I cycle to work as well, but right now it's just far too ****ing dangerous on that road.
well i used to travel a lot and in between commuted over an hour each way for several years - life is a bit simpler now but looking back - this is wot i did:
only stay in hotels with gyms and/or swimming pools if you co' allows
always pack your running kit - its not much
in summer (light evenings) bike in boot
get up early and go to the gym or for a run
find out if any of the people you meet with regular like running or swimming makes a change for them too from another fat lunch and as a business relationship works well
insist that you go to the gym before joining others for dinner rather than early trip to bar - really it makes no difference and people get used to it
find out what swimming pools & gyms are near work
local authority pools nearly always have early morning swimming and lunchtime fitness classes and don't cost a fortune
similar any locations regularly travel to - arrive 40minutes early and rather than a coffee and a packet of crisps having beaten the traffic jams go for a swim
kept a road bike at work and did some regular 45minute lunchtime loops - no showers no problem sponge towel spray
similar lunch time runs
kids trailer for bike - sunday morning while mrs antigee runs with her mate
creche/kids club at gym on a saturday
don't take up golf (thats a prejudice rather than a useful comment)
not saying was a saint but its easy to get into other peoples ruts
golf isn't a bad option for the exercise adverse tho. as you can end up walking a far way, without realising it and we are talking about helping someone start to get fit.
Find him something he enjoys - I love riding and can't get enough of it!
But I appreciate not everyone is into the same things!
He needs to find the motivation, the rest is fairly easy.
There is no point finding new ways to exercise or anything whilst he is in the state of denial.
I would work through his mates, maybe get one of them who wants to lose weight or get fit to lay down a challenge or an event.
Or go for the 'do love your kids enough to live to see them grow up' talk - but that's kind of the nuclear option....
Make oinking noises every time you see him eating.
Take the kids out swimming/riding/hiking.
30 minute walk at dinner time.
Swim at the local pool at dinner time.
Gym/jog before work.
There are always ways and means to exercise, it's more of a case of not wanting to.
I don't understand the recommendations to take the kids swimming - perhaps it's because my son is young but unless your kids swim lengths how is standing / treading water in a pool exercise?
it depends what his priorities are and if exercise/getting fit, isn't one of them, he will always be too busy.
cycling, running or walking to work would be a good start. using lunch break for a run/cycle is also good. getting up an hour earlier to go to the gym/exercise works too. or organise family cycle trips, although not sure this would be enough to get the weight off/get fit but it would be a start.
I think no matter what anyone says this guy isn't ready or willing to change. Too busy at work is a poor excuse.
It's almost the same mentality smokers have as to why they don't want to quit. One million reasons why they can't.
It's the 2 miles to work which is the clincher.
Ask him how long it takes to drive in the traffic, park up, get into the office, etc.
Then ask him to walk one day a week. He can get a taxi or a lift back if necessary. Or start by driving there, walking home, and walking in the next day.
It'll only take an extra 30 mins a day, if that.
Non-walkers find the idea of walking a couple of miles difficult to understand; there's a blockage saying "If it's a driving distance, I couldn't possibly walk it", so it may be a good idea for him to walk the equivalent with the family one weekend.
And suggest his wife (assuming she is the cook, or shopper) prepares more salads for him to reduce his calorie count while filling him up.
acjim - MemberI don't understand the recommendations to take the kids swimming - perhaps it's because my son is young but unless your kids swim lengths how is standing / treading water in a pool exercise?
You go as a family. You take turns with the kids and do lengths in-between.
You know, there's a lot of folk seem to be completely missing the point of this. We're not talking about some well-planned and executed exercise routine. It's about just "doing stuff" to get a bit healthier. Mibbe once he does this, and feels a bit better for it, then he'll get into a regular program.
I guess it's almost inevitable, but forums like this seem to miss what's going on "out there". I think most contributors just aren't able to see things from another viewpoint. Away from 24-hour enduros, regular bike commuting, night-riding and jumping off stuff, there's a huge majority of the population.
druidh - yuou make very good points.
In my head I hardly do any riding, and am extraordinarily unfit. To others I do "all that biking" and still get "are you really cycling to work all winter?" quite often from work colleagues.
So, I agree, it's about a gradual change to lifestyle, rather than buying a shedload of new equipment and starting on a new and imposing regime. this is the reason why gyms have a glut of new members in January who from the end of the month never return.
It's about gradual lifestyle change - the point about altering one's mindset is crucial. This takes time, and that's all he needs to do. However, he needs to do this in the knowledge that he isn't going to lose 3.5 stone in a month or less, and that it takes time.
Yes, v good point onion 😉 and omitn. I always think of myself as unfit becuase I am the slowest in the group that we ride with. However, friends who I have who do no regular excersize think I'm some super fit nutter who does "all those mountain bike events". their perception of me it totally different to my perception of myself.
Anyway - 2 miles to work. He needs to start walking that. Seems the most obvious way to easily incorporate a bit of exercise into his daily routine without disrupting things too much.
Thanks to everyone who gave me sensible ideas.
I've spoken to my friend and we know this is serious. So, I'm going to do what I can to help out.
The key things are to start him off slowly, get him to do something he enjoyes and make the most of the weekend family time. His brother has a high management, stressfull job too, but manages to cycle to work ( a much longer distance) and with his experience could give some guidence.
Just need to put into practise all the above advice.