Particularly when you're pumped full of adrenelin from nearly being killed and then you pull up alongside the culprit at the lights?
I knew I could't hit him but getting sweary and shouty doesn't really help either.
I thought I had adapted my riding style to be less aggressive in traffic to avoid problems caused by others and I'm not in a rush to get anywhere but it is happening more and more often.
I am almost at the point where I don't want to ride anymore.
Edit: I was cycling, he was in a car.
Violently bum their pet of choice.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Take any details that can be used to identify them, go away and calm down. Leave it at least one week. Plot.
Just cleat his cage
Reply number 1has to be the weirdest and most disturbing attempt at humour I’ve seen on here for quite some time...
Violently pet their bum of choice.
Cam. Put it on youtube, type some abuse. The only "revenge" available really if you don't want to get in a slanging match with the morons.
Just use the pavements more then, separate yourself from the traffic.. Or at least plan your routes better to avoid main roads.
Reply number 1has to be the weirdest and most disturbing attempt at humour I’ve seen on here for quite some time
it's not humour, it's what he actually does for a hobby.
andylc
Member
Reply number 1has to be the weirdest and most disturbing attempt at humour I’ve seen on here for quite some time…
You not get out much? 😆
Agreed on the dug bumming failing that frozen links obvz.
I like to cycle along side the stationary car, tap gently on the window and when they roll down the window I quietly explain the issue and suggest they give more room next time. Always results in the driver agreeing that their overtaking was indeed less than ideal and agreeing to be more considerate next time.........
In some parallel universe maybe, in the real world I call them every name under the sun. Haven't resorted to threatening their pets yet. My favorite all time run in was the verbals with the three big ****ers in a car who after 10 minutes of us shouting abuse at each other identified themselves as undercover cops, boy how we laughed 🙂
Haven’t resorted to threatening their pets yet.
not a threat. A promise.
If the above story is true I hope you asked for ID and then reported them.
Violently bum the driver in front of his/her chosen pet...?
Is it frozen sausages in the exhaust pipe? Something like that anyway.
Hammer frozen sausaages into his dog?
ps. Weekend Forum Moderator type person might like to know that the URL for this page contains the actual word ****s. 😂
As an aside . The swear filter algorythem thingy on Dracs Ipad needs updating
The astrix the gaul might take the rude ord out of the front page , however on the browser the word ***t is still readable
I have a crotchless hamster suit if anyone is interested.
Tap on window. Squirt them with your water bottle. Laugh manically. Get ready to rumble.
ps. Weekend Forum Moderator type person might like to know that the URL for this page contains the actual word ****. 😂
Who cares?
It’s best not to get too upset. Spoils the ride. Bite your lip and ride on shaking your head. Although I have resorted to lifting up the rear windscreen wiper on a couple of occasions. 🙂
Btw,For a cat you should probably wear reinforced leather chaps .
I got cut up by a supermarket van on Thu. It had a very memorable license plate. I hit the lap button on my Garmin right afterwards, so had an accurate record of time and location. They were well within the 1.5m close pass range for which they could get 3 points/£100 fine
I dropped them an email with the info and suggested they donate £100 to the local air ambulance. No idea what they'll come back with.
ps. Weekend Forum Moderator type person might like to know that the URL for this page contains the actual word *. 😂
They need to sort their * swear filter out then. *.
Seriously, I didn't mean to offend. Sorry. I assumed the filter would take care of it and I can't edit now.
In one extreme case involving a narrow road, a very wide caravan, three of us on a tandem, contact and some furious pedaling to catch the culprit at some lights, I opened the passenger door, dived across the passenger, grabbed the keys and invited the driver to a meeting at the local gendarmerie. It all went fine, but I wouldn't try the same everywhere or without the same level of proof.
Before the days of self-locking doors I've managed to reach inside, remove the key and launch it over the nearest hedge.
Once I dummied throwing the key and subtly tossed it under the driver's seat. Car still there hours later.
But the **** who pulled out across me on Marquis Drive on Thursday in his shiny blue Audi (the bit of Marquis Drive that's at the top of Shitbag Hill - still a dirt track) as I was coming back from a lap of the Monkey probably spent this morning getting a new door mirror fitted. They make a lovely crunchy sound as you smack down on them.
Find where they live shit in their birdbath.
Make him bum his dog and then grate warm sausages though the the drainage holes by the windscreen
Or you could keep your cool and rise above it
failing that frozen links obvz.
Only question is Bitly or Tiny URL?
Chop off his sausage.
Freeze it.
Get his dog to bum him with it.
Wearing a gimp suit.
Sorted.
The dude knows man,far out.
A while ago I was aggressively squeezed for the second time in a minute by an overtaking car, overtaking into oncoming traffic. The driver very nearly clipped my handlebar with their wing mirror. 100 yds from a junction where they were going to have to stop anyway.
I was not in the mood and let loose the word that rhymes with ‘front’ at the top of my voice. As the car pulled in front of me I noticed it was a learner with what I assumed to be her mother ‘teaching’ her to ‘drive’.
As we got to the lights, the mother did the whole ‘pretend to be leaning against the window with your arm up whilst talking to the driver thing’. The lights go to green, I am turning left, they are turning right. I pull away and the learner stalls it......and then the equally inattentive pillock behind goes into the back of them.
I remember thinking to myself that karma is getting very quick nowadays.
Tap on window. Squirt them with your water bottle.
I like that. Providing there is a bridleway or path to scoot up where a car couldn't follow me.
I've often dreamy of having a paint ball gun or a dozen old stinking eggs I can lob.
It's bloody annoying isn't it. Unfortunately I usually feel I have now to lose than them so just suck it up and then try my hardest now to stew on it for a while
Boot the rear light cluster in, big cleat scratch down the door, exit scene over nearest piece of grass.
I had one last weekend that cut me up and nearly knocked me off. Naturally I did the w-anchor hand signal, probably not wise. Anyhows they proceeded to a humpback bridge in front of me rough justice the car approaching from the opposite direction made the car pull abrupt stop they lost traction and drove into the curb, pop went the tyre and they had to pull over....;) Cycled past a pissed off driver with a trashed alloy and puncture. Couldn't help a wave and cheery smile.
In the end the reality is you're doing what you love, they're stuck in a tin box.
JeZ
This is what you do!
At this special time of year, why not carry a small tube of glitter in your back pocket? Then if you have the opportunity to wish the driver Merry Christmas face to face, the tube can be emptied into the car.
Not found a solution to being cut up yet.
But have started amusing myself with the drivers that floor it though red lights.
My office is next to a big roundabout and several pedestrian crossings. You can guarantee a few (always an audi or 1 series) will fly through the lights when they have gone red. So ive just started wheeling my bike out as soon as the green man appears to a cacophony of tyre squeel and ABS. Hopefully once they've shit themselves they'll stop next time.
Same with the roundabout, being on the bike you can usually get away from the lights quick enough to make the ****s still coming though their lights on red reconsider next time.
They have missed you. They probably don’t care or maybe didn’t even see you. Just ignore them.
Weird one today. Riding along opposite a long row of queue of cars in a jam, a knuckle dragger winds down his window and swears at us. We just burst out laughing. We weren’t even in any traffic.
I've just thought of a tactic - get some little flags, with magnetic bases and suitably derogatory messages...
"Driving on a fake licence"
"World's most inconsiderate driver"
Etc.
Then pop one on their roof, when you catch them at the next lights.
(I'm sure you can be more inventive, than me)
A couple of years ago we had a Twickenham gent in his people carrier decide that we shouldn’t be on the road. Gesticulating. Squeezing into us. Then some interesting driving upto the kerb repeatedly just in front of us with breaking and accelerating before driving over a drainage grill which bounced up and punctured both near side tyres. He then exited stage right. I cycled up and suggested that I’d be very happy to support his insurance claim with a detailed description of how it had happened. He was just sat there white as a sheet. Arsehole.
You do get some folk it may be some innocent miscalculation but many are serial offenders that think we shouldn't be on the road and pity help the next cyclist who gets in the way of one of them after their poor dog has been traumatized . I ride a bike but wouldn't go on a dual carriageway far too risky and then there are the riders as the sun has set with cheapest lights like a candle in the rain 'cking idiots
Jif lemon full of nitromors